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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by k9lover on September 11, 2002, at 12:57:38
I'm in the Pit. have been for nearly a week. suicidal ideation is really strong. Trying to socialize at night before crawling into my corner in the basement. very down. Want the pain to stop. Know most of you have been here as have I. I've been or not been drinking to escape but either way I still end up here (alive). Does this ever end? It feels so toxic and continuous. Thinking about approaching the local ER tonight if it doesn't lift. Don't know what to do...
Jan
Posted by Gabbix2 on September 11, 2002, at 14:03:32
In reply to help..., posted by k9lover on September 11, 2002, at 12:57:38
Jan.
It does end, it does. I still never believe it myself, when I'm in the pit, I can say it to myself, but what I always believe is that "no this time its different, this time it won't go away. I've been to E.R. more than a few times for the same reason you are considering going tonight. If you are truly at risk to yourself, its the right thing to do. At other times, when I'm feeling absolute despair, but know deep down I won't hurt myself, I've found the hospital well, made things worse in a way, because I was looking for a solution that they were unable to offer. I wish I could offer advice on how to make the feeling go away, I can't, I've only ever found waiting it out to be the solution.
This might sound strange (or maybe not) but depending on how alone you really are (as opposed to how alone you feel) The hospital has been a help just because I got to talk to people in the same position, no judgement, and that innate understanding only other depressed people can offer.I wish I could say more, if I thought it could help. I just know that sometimes for me being reminded by someone whose been there, that yes, this feeling will pass does help a little.
Take care of yourself
and if you need more reminding I'm sure there will be 10 other people responding to your post tonight. It still surprises me how much the wonderful people here can touch you, through such an impersonal medium.
Gabbi
Posted by Tabitha Ðòñë ƒ£îþþëÐ on September 11, 2002, at 14:46:04
In reply to help..., posted by k9lover on September 11, 2002, at 12:57:38
Hi Jan,
It does pass, though I know it's hard to believe that when you're in the thick of it. All you can do is ride it out, or wait for the meds to kick in, as the case may be. I've also gone to the ER when unable to get in to see a psychiatrist, it wasn't fun waiting for 3 hours but I did get my prozac Rx from a nice and caring intern. It's there if you need it.
Tabby
Posted by Greg A. on September 11, 2002, at 18:12:51
In reply to help..., posted by k9lover on September 11, 2002, at 12:57:38
Jan, it will recede. But it hurts so much when you are in the midst of it. I am going through a prolonged bout right now, as I have numerous times before. I should know that it will pass, and intellectually I do know that – but I want it to stop right now.
Hospital is the best way if you really are a danger to yourself. Your thought patterns are not right. You may feel it is the only way to stop being in pain. Just having someone else take charge and kind of protect you can be a nice feeling even if it has to take place in a sterile environment like a hospital. I just emailed my pdoc today and told her I am sinking again. I feel like such a loser and whiner each time I do this but I have promised myself I will always put up with those labels before I do anything irreversible to myself.
And I know that meds do work for me. Even though I have yet to find a long term solution, I have benefited greatly from various combinations of meds. There is something that will help you. That will start the process of getting the weight to lift and the sky to seem a little brighter. Something that will cause you to look forward to chatting with a friend instead of dreading having to face anyone. I promise you that.
Greg A.Post back and talk to us. Okay?
Posted by IsoM on September 11, 2002, at 20:09:13
In reply to help..., posted by k9lover on September 11, 2002, at 12:57:38
Jan, I'm going to say something different. For a few people, it never does end, but they're RARE. They really are. For some, it can go on for a long time, but very, very few stay really flat down out endlessly.
Those that tend to stay depressed for long periods of time generally haven't found the help that's right for them. There may be something that needs to be changed that they or their doctor aren't aware of. Not just meds (which is definitely needed) but diet, or life style or therapy. Sometimes, improvements are made but not enough for some. What's really hard is to know that there is something that can be done but being so unwell that one doesn't have the energy or motivation to find it.
Do you have any real time support - family, friends, good doctor or nurses who care? The support is so NEEDED. Even if you've only been this low for a week, it can feel like eternity. Like an earthquake - while it may only last a couple of minutes at the most, it feels like forever. The wonderful thing is when you are better, it'll seem like a bad dream. You'll remember the horrible low feeling but it won't seem real. Your love of life will return & your expereinces with depression can give you greater understanding & empathy for others that you may, in the furture, extend your hand out to others who need it.
Posted by ShelliR on September 11, 2002, at 21:34:43
In reply to help..., posted by k9lover on September 11, 2002, at 12:57:38
K9,
If there is any chance you will try to hurt yourself, yes, go to the ER. A week in the depths feels like an eternity, but in terms of your life, it is a very short time and not worth being impulsive. You will get through and be greatful that you lived.
If you feel that you can wait a day, you might call your doctor, or any medical professional you trust and ask about admitting you to a psychiatric hospital or psych unit. It feels a lot better to go through a normal admission than to spend hours and hours in the ER (At least here in the US). Then you might actually find a good hospital that can not only make you safe, but could also help you with meds, therapy. (And yes, such hospitals, units are rare, but they do exist if you have the time to search for them). Also, obviously you need to hook up with a psychiatrist to be evaluated for possible medication, and with a therapist out-patient. (If you haven't already).
And yes, I do know how it feels. Horrible. So please keep writing. It's important to keep in touch, for you, as well as for us. We're all pulling for you, so we'd really like to know how you are doing.
Shelli
Posted by k9lover on September 12, 2002, at 7:31:54
In reply to Re: help... » k9lover, posted by ShelliR on September 11, 2002, at 21:34:43
Thanks everyone for the reality check... It helped to hear your voices. I made it through the night and might take half a day off work - yesterday was completely exhausting. But I do feel brighter this morning.
I really appreciate this list...
Jan
This is the end of the thread.
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