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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by dave40252 on June 13, 2002, at 14:41:51
I've been fighting depression for a long time, the last two years with meds (alot)and a pdoc. I have noticed that reality changes between the times when the meds are working and when they are not - by this i don't mean i am hallucinating or anything - i mean my reactions or how i percieve the meaning of things or my interpretation of things is very very different. This is especially true with my relationships, when depressed i see my relationship with my wife as falling apart, she doesn't care for me, etc. When the meds are working i percieve the same events, conversations, etc as having no negative ramifications. Trouble is i am always wondering which interpretation of things is true....
does anyone know what i am talking about?
Posted by beardedlady on June 13, 2002, at 15:02:52
In reply to Depression changes reality?, posted by dave40252 on June 13, 2002, at 14:41:51
Reality doesn't change; your perception of it does. What you're describing is pretty much the difference between pessimism and optimism, a good mood and a bad one. Sure, you have depression. But it's the same for folks who don't. When you feel good, things look rosier. When you feel bad, nothing can save you.
They say optimists live longer.
beardy : )>
Posted by Leighwit on June 13, 2002, at 15:34:07
In reply to Depression changes reality?, posted by dave40252 on June 13, 2002, at 14:41:51
> I've been fighting depression for a long time, the last two years with meds (alot)and a pdoc. I have noticed that reality changes between the times when the meds are working and when they are not - by this i don't mean i am hallucinating or anything - i mean my reactions or how i percieve the meaning of things or my interpretation of things is very very different. This is especially true with my relationships, when depressed i see my relationship with my wife as falling apart, she doesn't care for me, etc. When the meds are working i percieve the same events, conversations, etc as having no negative ramifications. Trouble is i am always wondering which interpretation of things is true....
>
> does anyone know what i am talking about?I know exactly what you're talking about. Sometimes, I can gauge the severity of some of my depression symptoms (irritability, for one) by my reactions to my husband. I think he and our marriage are about a 2 (on a scale of 1-10) when my depression is out of control, and about a 7 when it's not.
Depression alters our perceptions big-time.
Laurie
Posted by mair on June 13, 2002, at 16:54:32
In reply to Depression changes reality?, posted by dave40252 on June 13, 2002, at 14:41:51
I, too, know exactly what you're talking about and I think that sometimes it's a little more pronounced than what I think beardy means. For me it plays out in alot of different arenas, but most dramatically in my perception of my marriage. I don't think horrible things about my husband when I'm depressed (maybe a little sometimes), I think that he's thinking horrible things about me. My husband can sometimes seem distant; he's told me a ton of times that it's because he is preoccupied thinking about work. He tends to do alot of nonverbal pondering while he's doing something else like watching tv. When everything is ok I can seem to understand this. When I'm depressed I'm imagining that he is sitting there thinking about how awful it is to be married to me and that he wished there was some way he could dump me. I get both angry and despondent and have no real ability to express my feelings to him. I really travel to some extremes. We've discussed this once with my therapist and talked about me finding ways to telegraph to him that I really need extra reassurance, but that hasn't worked out very well.
My therapist calls this distorted thinking. When I'm depressed you'd be very hard pressed to convince me that my perception of reality is anything other than right on. The best I can seem to do for myself is continually remind myself that I don't always feel that way and that in better times I've been able to see thinking of this nature as a distortion. It's a really hard sell however.
Mair
Posted by bookgurl99 on June 13, 2002, at 22:29:01
In reply to Depression changes reality?, posted by dave40252 on June 13, 2002, at 14:41:51
When depressed, I tend to see things through a 'negative filter' -- everything said has some secret hidden message about my worthlessness or the hopelessness of existence.
When I'm fine, I just -- exist. Life flows through me, and I am . . fine.
Posted by tabitha on June 14, 2002, at 0:43:11
In reply to Depression changes reality?, posted by dave40252 on June 13, 2002, at 14:41:51
I think depression filters out the positive. Kind of the same as a negative filter, but I think of it more as subtracting out the good in everything. Your positive receptors just aren't working! That's my best argument for why "cheer up" is such bad advice, I think really depressed brains just can't feel cheerfulness (or optimism, or pleasure) no matter what.I actually found it a bummer when first getting treatment, even though I felt way better, my whole worldview fell apart. Since my worldview had been formed through the depressed filter, it just wasn't valid for the non-depressed state. All that mental work I had done, eradicated by a little pill.
Posted by dave40252 on June 14, 2002, at 9:47:28
In reply to Re: Depression changes reality? » dave40252, posted by mair on June 13, 2002, at 16:54:32
Mair, this is just what i was talking about - glad i am not the only one. The weird thing is though that when feeling good and perceiving things as not negative like i would when i am down, i can't help thinking to my self that it is the ad medication that is distorting my perception, that the depressed perception is the true reality. Just goes to show you, it's always something!
dave
Posted by mair on June 14, 2002, at 12:27:24
In reply to Re: Depression changes reality? » mair, posted by dave40252 on June 14, 2002, at 9:47:28
Dave - I have much too little faith in psychiatric meds to fall into your trap. I don't give them all that much credit for helping me although I know I can't go off them. I guess I think that I'd be much worse without them, but I'm not all that great or at least consistently great with them.
Mair
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