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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 16 of 16. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Alii on May 21, 2002, at 11:37:30
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888888888888888WTF?!!!!! I was ambushed by the hughest load of crap today at therapy.
I went in ready to do the final session with ma on her visit out here. But instead of getting into the issues at hand the therapist starts going off on adoption and abandoment/attachment issues. Hello?!! I'm acutely aware that my abandoment/attachment issues are from my father's death at age 8 and at having experienced horrific trauma at age 14. I think my having been adopted is groovy. Nuff said.
She continued to harp on this (adoption) and I finally blew. Told her that I had already spoken to her regarding where I stood re my feelings about adoption. I'm not getting through to her! This is therapist I've done huge work with but fuck. Just fuck.
A crying angry frustrated so goddamned lost Alii
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Posted by Dinah1 on May 21, 2002, at 11:43:04
In reply to 888888888888888888888888!!!!!!, posted by Alii on May 21, 2002, at 11:37:30
Oh Alii, I'm so sorry. It is really frustrating (I know that is an understatement!) when they miss the point. And at such an important session too, one where important work might have been done. And she didn't take your attempts at redirection seriously either? How very disappointing!
I'm sending cyberhugs your way.
Posted by Krazy Kat on May 21, 2002, at 11:45:52
In reply to 888888888888888888888888!!!!!!, posted by Alii on May 21, 2002, at 11:37:30
I'm so sorry, Alii. If she won't come to terms with this, what can you do? Do you think it was because your Mom was there, and she wanted to approach that "issue" while she still had you together? I know it doesn't matter, she should have listened to you, just thinking aloud.
You really need a day of quiet and house-hiding. Or two or three. Can you do this?
I wouldn't make any decisions re: your therapist right now, though.
Did you know there's a new board re: therapy here - babble/psycho? You might post there as well, as those folks have experience with the good and the bad.
Crying is good for the soul. Kepp it coming.
- kk
Posted by Alii on May 21, 2002, at 11:48:05
In reply to Re: 888888888888888888888888!!!!!! » Alii, posted by Dinah1 on May 21, 2002, at 11:43:04
> Oh Alii, I'm so sorry. It is really frustrating (I know that is an understatement!) when they miss the point. And at such an important session too, one where important work might have been done. And she didn't take your attempts at redirection seriously either? How very disappointing!
>
> I'm sending cyberhugs your way.No she continued to steer conversation in that direction. Fifteen minutes of session and I stormed out. Returned in a sec to hand back questionaire she wanted me to take before next session (vague depression rating bs...as if I'm some newcomer to this disease and treatment?!!!) and to tell her that she should have book keeper finalize all paperwork with me because I'm through. I do not suffer fools lightly. Even less so when my little money is involved. This therapy ain't cheap. I make choices to go and get work done on these issues and to not be listened to after so much preparation? I'm a flippin mess. I hate life. I hate all this. Why do I bother???????????????????????????????????????
Posted by kid_A on May 21, 2002, at 11:50:36
In reply to 888888888888888888888888!!!!!!, posted by Alii on May 21, 2002, at 11:37:30
Well at least you are alert enough to know a bad shrink when you come across one... My shrink is pretty accomidating, a little too accomidating maybe... He's sensitive-guy shrink...It's tuff work to start from scratch after having invested so much time in the 150 dollar per 50 minute miracles called Psychologists, so I don't have any definitive advice there...
My only advice to you is to not let other people's short commings get you down... get frustrated, get angry, but don't get down...
Maybe there needs to be some qualification for therapists in that they actually have had to gone through some personal psychological trauma in order to practice in their field... That way it wouldn't feel so much like you were a bug under the miscroscope being prodded by curious scientists...
Bah, I'm not making much sense, but here's a shoulder to cry on, let loose... You could even punch me in the gut if you like, get out those frustrations, but let me get ready, I dont want to go out like Houdini...
yours in lost+found,
kid
Posted by Dinah1 on May 21, 2002, at 11:52:24
In reply to Re: 888888888888888888888888!!!!!! » Dinah1, posted by Alii on May 21, 2002, at 11:48:05
Deep breath alii. Not for your therapist but for you. She screwed up big time, I see that. Now what can be salvaged? Is your mom still in town? With all the preparation you did for your session, is there any way you can have a heart to heart with your mom without your therapist?
I'm just throwing out thoughts here, and I think I should apologize for that. I really need to learn to just listen. But I was just wondering if there was still time and opportunity to do some of what you wanted to do.
Posted by Krazy Kat on May 21, 2002, at 11:58:42
In reply to 888888888888888888888888!!!!!!, posted by Alii on May 21, 2002, at 11:37:30
i can do chat in a few minutes for about a half-hour if that helps...
Posted by Alii on May 21, 2002, at 12:02:56
In reply to 8 is great... but 7 Rawks... my humble opinion.. » Alii, posted by kid_A on May 21, 2002, at 11:50:36
>
> Well at least you are alert enough to know a bad shrink when you come across one... My shrink is pretty accomidating, a little too accomidating maybe... He's sensitive-guy shrink...
>
> It's tuff work to start from scratch after having invested so much time in the 150 dollar per 50 minute miracles called Psychologists, so I don't have any definitive advice there...
>
> My only advice to you is to not let other people's short commings get you down... get frustrated, get angry, but don't get down...
>
> Maybe there needs to be some qualification for therapists in that they actually have had to gone through some personal psychological trauma in order to practice in their field... That way it wouldn't feel so much like you were a bug under the miscroscope being prodded by curious scientists...
>
> Bah, I'm not making much sense, but here's a shoulder to cry on, let loose... You could even punch me in the gut if you like, get out those frustrations, but let me get ready, I dont want to go out like Houdini...
>
> yours in lost+found,
>
> kidkid_A----
With all honesty you are the best damn thing I've come across in the lost and found! Thanks for support.
I'm not down on me for picking lame twit for therapy.....good work was done however for the next chunk I will find someone else. I don't give third chances to people I pay to listen to me.
---Alllllllllliiiiiiiiiiiaaaaaaaarrrrrhhhhhhgggggggg
Posted by Alii on May 21, 2002, at 13:56:07
In reply to Tawkin numb 7...., posted by Alii on May 21, 2002, at 12:02:56
Thanks to the crowd that appeared in chat to help me rant this out!
I am stunned at kindness. Also I am feeling like eating something and perhaps finding another place to hide besides the closet. Benzos did help numb but the venting over on PBOpen was the ticket to averting destructive behaviour.
888...uh...88..um, I guess I'm not THAT angry anymore,
Alii
Posted by Alii on May 21, 2002, at 14:16:23
In reply to Angry shutdown averted.... , posted by Alii on May 21, 2002, at 13:56:07
Note on back door from ma who had stayed on and talked with therapist.
Ma in note to me: You are right in that X (therapist) should not have said anything about adoption--however, she is VERY (emphasis ma's) sorry that she said anything about it and ralizses it was a mistake an d that she should have honoured your feelings in a much better way.
Ma goes on to say blah blah hope you can work this out.
No fricking way. Major issue in life for me is trust and being listened to. And paid professionals? Yes, I can and do cut slack for off days or bad days but this was a fucking agenda.
I am no puppet and I will not stand for that kind of abuse within the fucking bounds of a therapy session. To hell with this shit.
I'm outta here.
A
Posted by kid_A on May 21, 2002, at 14:45:00
In reply to Nope..still 88888888888, posted by Alii on May 21, 2002, at 14:16:23
(I'm outta here.)Thats your choice and your right, take heart, at least your not in the Salt Mines, or the Gulag Archipeligo...
adrift at sea, alii... that rhymes... (rhymes also rhymes w/ Mines, damn I'm that good)
Posted by kiddo on May 21, 2002, at 15:22:06
In reply to Nope..still 88888888888, posted by Alii on May 21, 2002, at 14:16:23
Alii-
I'm sorry that you are down again.
May I ask why your mom stayed and talked with your therapist after you left? Was this something ok'd by you?
I also think the therapist should have spoken with you and apologized to YOU not by proxy.
Can you call the therapist you saw today and tell her what's going on, how the session made you feel, why she chose that format in therapy? Can you also ask her why she thinks what she does-on what criteria she bases her info?
As a matter of fact, I'd tell her exactly what you just told us, starting with "No fricking way". Therapy is yours, should be your agenda, your goals, not hers and I feel bad for you....I too have a hard time dealing with trust and can empathize with you....
I'm just a post away-lemme know if you need to chat and we'll be there for you again :-)
Kiddo
Posted by Dinah1 on May 21, 2002, at 15:44:38
In reply to Nope..still 88888888888, posted by Alii on May 21, 2002, at 14:16:23
Posted by Alii on May 21, 2002, at 17:56:19
In reply to Re: Nope..still 88888888888 (unmitigated rage) » Alii, posted by kid_A on May 21, 2002, at 14:45:00
>
> (I'm outta here.)
>
> Thats your choice and your right, take heart, at least your not in the Salt Mines, or the Gulag Archipeligo...
>
> adrift at sea, alii... that rhymes... (rhymes also rhymes w/ Mines, damn I'm that good)Yep kid_A,
you just are that damn good. Thanks for earlier smiles. I am up down all around today with the mood map.....sheeeet...it just flew out the window.
--Adrift at sea don't you bee just like mee Alii
Posted by Alii on May 21, 2002, at 17:58:29
In reply to Re: Alii, can you come to chat? (nm) » Alii, posted by Dinah1 on May 21, 2002, at 15:44:38
The one hundred percent real Dinah,
You gave me a bunch to think about from chat. Thank you. I thought I was made up with decision but now will wait until tomorrow to see how mood changes.
I feel like I'm floating out to open ocean.
--A.
Posted by Alii on May 21, 2002, at 17:59:42
In reply to Re: Nope.. » Alii, posted by kiddo on May 21, 2002, at 15:22:06
This is the end of the thread.
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