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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Angel Girl on May 10, 2002, at 3:04:18
I have a MAJOR problem managing relationships. That's not news to anybody who remembers anything I've posted. :) One of the things that bothers me is that everybody thinks they understand what I'm going through, how I feel and how I think but they're wrong. Our conversations always go in circles, them repeatedly saying the same thing over and over and me doing the same with how I feel. Of course, each side is light years apart from the other. I don't think they're ever listening to me and they feel I don't listen to them. Same thing with anger. They think I want to fight all the time and I think that about them. It's a vicious circle that never ends. I get soooooo frustrated.
I'm so sick of the false accusations and assumptions made about me. Why can't they hear me????
Anybody else experiencing this?? And if so, how do you deal with it??? Am I even making any sense or am I talking in circles??? :(
Fallen Frustrated Angel
Posted by Phil on May 10, 2002, at 6:30:50
In reply to Are you understood?, posted by Angel Girl on May 10, 2002, at 3:04:18
You do have people that care about you but they don't understand to the disease. I've gone through it with family and still do occasionally.
Don't get them angry, get them educated. Key in Ivan Goldberg on Google and go to his site. He's got a list on things to say and not to say to people suffering from depression.
My memory is shot, I can't remember the name of William Styron's book about his depression. It's in the book recommendation list above.
It's a very short book and I've asked friends to read it, if they would, to understand this disease. They don't harrass me anymore.
Posted by shar on May 10, 2002, at 23:22:55
In reply to Re: Are you understood? » Angel Girl, posted by Phil on May 10, 2002, at 6:30:50
Posted by Sherrie on May 10, 2002, at 23:47:04
In reply to Are you understood?, posted by Angel Girl on May 10, 2002, at 3:04:18
Hello Angel. This is my first night here but certainly feel your need to be heard. Some times I feel as if I'm talking to thin air, that people are shutting me out, that maybe they are sick of me and could care less. I don't think, no, I know that they have no idea how I feel. No one can unless they've been there. It would be nice to find someone that takes me seriously and who is interested in my feelings. It'll never happen except in one place, prayer. Some times I refuse to pray; I think I can do it myself. That's a joke! When I finally do give up and ask God for His help and truly BELIEVE that He will help me, it happens. It took me a long time, years, to finally come round to this. I know you don't know me, but I use to be a tough cookie! I hope this helps you. I'll certainly say a prayer for you tonight. God bless!
Posted by Manda on May 11, 2002, at 6:59:39
In reply to Re: Are you understood?, posted by Sherrie on May 10, 2002, at 23:47:04
I'm right there with you, Angel. My parents are the WORST. I can't talk to them when I'm down anymore b/c they make me feel about 100 times worse, unintentionally of course. They mean well, but they don't have a clue.
-Manda
Posted by mair on May 13, 2002, at 16:24:40
In reply to Are you understood?, posted by Angel Girl on May 10, 2002, at 3:04:18
Hey I think you're way ahead of the game for even trying to make yourself understood. My MO was just to pull back from people and never let them know what was going on with me at all. My therapist lent me a book "When someone you love is depressed." (this may not be the precise title but close) It's really written for the person who isn't depressed. I think there are chapters in the book "Undoing Depression" by Richard O'Conner that also deal with this. I know when I was reading O'Conner's book I identified with a lot of what he was saying and I really wanted to hand it to my husband and demand that he read sections of it. Alas, that would have been too out of character to someone used to mental isolation. Keep trying
Mair
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