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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 29 to 53 of 73. Go back in thread:
Posted by Mair on April 7, 2002, at 14:23:07
In reply to guess not, posted by trouble on April 7, 2002, at 13:56:13
Trouble - others may disagree, but i don't think Sar was as assiduous as others about protecting her identity and I don't think she would mind our attempts to find out more. I think she had such little regard for herself - I would love to find a way to let people who knew her understand how special and important she was to all of us. If you or Phil or Kid_a are able to find anything out, please share whatever you are able to glean. I'm sure others feel as helpless and lost as I do - this is such a hard thing to deal with under any circumstances and particularly within the constraints of internet relationships.
Thank you
Mair
Posted by LiLi80 on April 7, 2002, at 14:51:56
In reply to ANNOUNCEMENT, posted by friend on April 6, 2002, at 18:55:30
I know a lot of people think that friend might be lying, but it is possible that this friend of sar's is fulling a wish of hers. I know that I told my friend that if I did kill myself that I wanted her to post on this board and tell everyone. Sar obviously cared about us alot and maybe she wanted someone tell us about her death. It is possible that that is what happened.
Posted by trouble on April 7, 2002, at 15:10:11
In reply to did you know her? » trouble, posted by Krazy Kat on April 7, 2002, at 14:07:11
Hi Krazy Kat,
Thanks for talking to me again, I don't know what the original idea was but it's family now, we pick on each other and Dad throws our butt in the slammer for a week but when it comes down to it we all pull together; that's family.
No I didn't know her, but she was on the list. I had to restrain myself, I had an idea which coffee houses to check out, but I didn't know. I could'nt tell if I was reading her right and I didn't want to screw it up.
Sometimes behind that brilliantly confessional, combustible writing is a decision that I will do THIS instead....A decision like that must be respected,and I've misread it so many times before, came on too much and too noisy in person and needless to say if I would have gone slower, done less, let them make the first move, etc etc things might have turned out different.
Did you see any invitations in her writing? It seemed when the Lester Bangs thread came out, something about the cool people who live in Austin that was probably it; she said trouble and I wrestle on Guadalupe Street everyday, that was the coffeehouse, that neighborhood, it seemed we were getting close to an invitation, but that is just a guess. It will remain unfinished.
We will memorialize her, Kid_A will figure out how, and see to it that she'll always be with us.
Thanks again KK, keep in touch, maybe some of us should stay very close to the board right now.
trouble
Posted by trouble on April 7, 2002, at 15:16:22
In reply to It is possible...., posted by LiLi80 on April 7, 2002, at 14:51:56
Right Lily. You're smart. Now help
us to understand the meaning of having someone else come here to tell us the news.
If it was me, I'd go out in a firestorm of words, and I'd make damn sure they'd be my own.trouble
Posted by Krazy Kat on April 7, 2002, at 15:39:11
In reply to Re: did you know her?, posted by trouble on April 7, 2002, at 15:10:11
trouble:
i have no trouble communicating with you at all. we are just very different sorts. i need to learn to give people the room i request for myself. i read some of your writings at the site posted here for lili - they are spectacular.
i think any help you could give us re: sar would be much appreciated. i suppose we could just post it on chat so there is not a permanent record of detailed info - what do you think?
i'm really at a lost with how to deal with this right now.
- kk
Posted by Zo on April 7, 2002, at 16:26:33
In reply to ANNOUNCEMENT, posted by friend on April 6, 2002, at 18:55:30
Posted by Zo on April 7, 2002, at 17:27:01
In reply to Blessings to her dear soul (nm), posted by Zo on April 7, 2002, at 16:26:33
Please, people, don't post your email address in the usual way. Web spiders are constantly harvesting , the info then sold.
PLUS you're addy will be on Google--search engines pick up posts!
Write it out: zozo at mac dot com
Posted by trouble on April 7, 2002, at 17:36:42
In reply to Re: did you know her? » trouble, posted by Krazy Kat on April 7, 2002, at 15:39:11
KK,
Why not let's stand by and wait for Kid_A's input. If he's been mobilized into action by this incomprehensible tragedy, some sense of purpose can go a long way toward facilitating one's "healing"; or it may have laid him in bed for the next few days, at any rate I'm for standing by.
I've never seen him truly lost and disoriented before today, and the way I see it whoever's been hit the hardest is the one who ought to call the shots.I've been in the archives, and it's clear that everyone here loved Sar and fussed over her escapades, loved her open need and ability to connect and her desperation to be good.
Someone has to pay for this.What I want to do is locate the evil witch psychiatrist who pronounced her defective as an aside, as Sar was walking out the door, Oh By The Way, she's schizoaffective and-oh, you still here? You shouldn't have been listening, anyway I wasn't even talking to you have a nice night.
Was this Sar's last pdoc? If someone can confirm that information I will take care of the rest.
trouble
Posted by Dinah on April 7, 2002, at 17:40:43
In reply to what now? FINGERPOINT!, posted by trouble on April 7, 2002, at 17:36:42
Can you make it to chat?
Posted by Mair on April 7, 2002, at 17:44:26
In reply to Re: what now? » trouble, posted by Dinah on April 7, 2002, at 17:40:43
Someone should let her know if they did. I know Sar emailed her sometimes and they were good friends on this Board. Kristi hasn't been around alot lately and I don't know if she lurks at all.
Mair
Posted by trouble on April 7, 2002, at 17:54:32
In reply to Re: what now? » trouble, posted by Dinah on April 7, 2002, at 17:40:43
Oh God Dinah I wish I could but I've tried too many times in the past and it sent me around the bend. Nufsed.
If you have info on this pdoc you can just email it to me.
Thanks for the offer,trouble
Posted by shelliR on April 7, 2002, at 18:03:40
In reply to How to post your email address safely, posted by Zo on April 7, 2002, at 17:27:01
I'm wishing that this is not true, but I feel sick enough inside that it is. I do hope the friend checks in again. It does not seem like Sar, though, to play with our minds. She
was a straight shooter.Sar was so young, so full of life and had enourmous talent. She knew how to give fully and take fully and who knows where her life could have gone. I had started to pull back because I had a hard time with her constant drinking. Now I feel so truely selfish and petty about this. We all do what we need to, to get by. To the people on PSB, I do know that Sar did get so much from so many people. That you all were so accepting and especially so forgiving when she was self-incriminating.
Shelli
Posted by trouble on April 7, 2002, at 18:05:58
In reply to what now? FINGERPOINT!, posted by trouble on April 7, 2002, at 17:36:42
I'll get in touch w/ the local NAMI chapter, and give them the reins, the post is right there, this woman has some answering to do. Thank goodness there are organizations who advocate, and don't keep their results a secret.
If NAMI is too busy there are other resources, I'll be the messenger and leave it at that.sorry for the tone of the earlier post, I'm going to go outside now and smash a carton of eggs then read something, or take a rest.
robin
Posted by Zo on April 7, 2002, at 18:21:53
In reply to What I meant to say, posted by trouble on April 7, 2002, at 18:05:58
Posted by IsoM on April 8, 2002, at 1:31:48
In reply to Re: KID_A - please read and answer!!!! » IsoM, posted by kid_A on April 7, 2002, at 13:01:13
I believe you. There's nothing more to do for me but grieve.
Posted by Shar on April 8, 2002, at 2:16:05
In reply to It is possible...., posted by LiLi80 on April 7, 2002, at 14:51:56
Posted by trouble on April 8, 2002, at 3:40:40
In reply to LiLi ---I've made the same request as you did (nm), posted by Shar on April 8, 2002, at 2:16:05
Shar,
Lili hasn't answered my inquiry, I get the feeling from that child that sometimes I'm too stupid, I can imagine her shaking her head at some of my heartfelt posts but this is our special relationship and she makes me work, in her own way she's got alot to do w/ opening my eyes.
But my question still stands, what would make you entrust someone else w/ saying your last good-bye?trouble
Posted by Krazy Kat on April 8, 2002, at 9:33:00
In reply to Re: LiLi ---I've made the same request as you did » Shar, posted by trouble on April 8, 2002, at 3:40:40
kid,
i never doubted your comments, just wanted you to know - i just very selfishly want details.
plese, please let us know how you are doing.
- kk
Posted by fi on April 8, 2002, at 12:13:33
In reply to Re: ANNOUNCEMENT confirment, posted by kid_A on April 7, 2002, at 10:55:32
Thank you for doing this, which must have been an arduous and upsetting task. And for letting us all know.
Fi
Posted by fi on April 8, 2002, at 12:15:28
In reply to dreamer... others..., posted by Krazy Kat on April 7, 2002, at 13:07:28
I didnt know her personally, but would say that sometimes people are more likely to commit suicide when they feel a bit better- as then they have the energy and decisiveness.
Fi
Posted by friend on April 8, 2002, at 12:27:14
In reply to kid a-i absolutely believe you, too, posted by Krazy Kat on April 8, 2002, at 9:33:00
sorry, i didn't say more, i was really upset.
the whole story is that i used to come to the board a lot, but i'm shy, and i didn't know what to say, ever. so i just read everyone else's posts. i came to care ofr so many of you, but i didn't want to intrude, and i didn't know how to start a conversation on my own. i read sar's posts, among others and one day she posted her email address and i recognized it. so then i was afraid she would recognize me from what i would say. we knew each other because we both lived in the same co-operative system in austin, and we have a lot of mutual friends, but i never really knew her, just who she was. we said hi to each other and that's about it. we seemed like very different people on the surface. by the time i got to know her through here she had moved to san antonio. then she moved back here and i couldn't tell her that i knew her from this board. it would have been very awkward and i thought it would make her uncomfortable, knowing her as i did through the posts, i think it would have made her feel bad to know i knew so much about her.
i never met her current boyfriend, and have not seen her in person since last summer, but all i can say is that she was a wonderful person. i'm sorry that i didn't post sooner, and i'm sorry that i didn't let her know what an amazing person i thought she was.
i don't think that the obituary has been posted yet. there is to be a funeral service here in austin at a unitarian churh either tomorrow or wednesday. sar is going to be cremated. she did leave a note but i don't think the family has gotten together to read it yet, so i don't know what is going on there.
i hadn't come here in a while, because i felt awkward reading sar's posts once i knew who she was. it felt like reading her journal. but i still remembered all of you and how much you meant to her and how so many of you cared for her. that's why i came back to let you know what happened. i will keep checking back on this for awhile if anyone wants to know anything else.
i'm so sorry to have to bring this news.
Posted by beardedlady on April 8, 2002, at 12:34:33
In reply to Re: LiLi ---I've made the same request as you did » Shar, posted by trouble on April 8, 2002, at 3:40:40
trouble,
I know five people who attempted suicide. None of them said a last goodbye or left a note or anything. Two of them were found by accident; the other two did not want to die. One did, and he died. He left a note.
I would imagine a person simply says, as I have said, "If anything ever happens to me, please tell...." Or maybe there was a note. But sometimes, I think, when you make up your mind about something like this, something that will ease your own pain but cause the pain of others, you can't say goodbye. Maybe Sar was beyond help or hope in her mind. Maybe she didn't want to be talked out of it.
I know it's not any consolation, but at least it's a couple of answers.
beardy
Posted by trouble on April 8, 2002, at 12:58:17
In reply to more info, sorry, posted by friend on April 8, 2002, at 12:27:14
what a beautiful and thoughtful message to us, we are so grateful. I know I must go to her funeral, but I don't even know her full name, I wonder if you could help me out w/that?
you can put it on the board I guess, for all I know it's already been posted, but if you'd rather not my address isflawedplan at aol dot com
thanks again, you have chosen a very apt moniker for yourself, friend.
trouble
Posted by friend on April 8, 2002, at 13:04:27
In reply to friend, thank you and more, posted by trouble on April 8, 2002, at 12:58:17
i think that she wouldn't mind my saying her name now. with all of us, she was so open and generous. her full name is Stacey Anne Rainey. i don't know if her funeral service will be in the austin newspaper, i can't see her parents remembering to do that, but her sister might. if it isn't i can post it on here if y'all like. trouble, i think your idea about the bukowski poem is a great one.
Posted by mair on April 8, 2002, at 17:30:58
In reply to more info, sorry, posted by friend on April 8, 2002, at 12:27:14
Thanks much for writing again. I feel starved for details as I'm sure do many others. Can you tell us what sar looked like - what her personality was like?
Mair
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