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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by bob on January 1, 2002, at 22:47:17
Happy New Year!
Well, it's been 10 years of medecine hell now for me, with exposure to more than 24 psychotropics. Nothing has truly worked. I guess I should qualify that: some meds have alleviated certain problems I have such as anxiety, or relieved depression for a short time. In the end however, everything becomes unmanageable. Side effects of the drugs - weakness, sedation, etc, as well as a lack of effectiveness in certain cases has led to an inability to hold down a job anymore. I am contemplating resigning from my job this week. It is just too hard to keep going on like this. This means I will lose everything - my health insurance, my income, and many social contacts. I am not sure I want to continue on in that situation, but I don't know what choice I have anymore; I simply cannot work. These med trials have taken too much out of me. I have no idea what I'll do when I resign. I can hardly do things now. I don't even know how to go about getting social security, or things like that. Sometimes I wonder whether it wouldn't be better for me to suck it up and do the deed. My family is getting torn apart by this disease I have, and I feel responsible. I have no desire to see my family collapse because of me. I really don't understand the point of going on with such a compromised lifestyle: i.e., not being able to work, being extremely unhealthy (overweight and inactive), not being able to perform any kind of sexual activity, sleeping all the time, and putting up with drug induced apathy.
It's really odd, but I think I'd rather be dead, than live another 30 or more years on these meds -- even if they made me mentally sound but I was 50lbs overweight and a bona fide mind-numbed eunuch. It's an unacceptable compromise to me.
Sorry to be spreading doom and gloom, but I'm somewhat desperate at this point.
Bob
Posted by Fi on January 2, 2002, at 5:28:59
In reply to Almost finished, posted by bob on January 1, 2002, at 22:47:17
Bob
Sympathies re this difficult situation.
I realise you may already have thought of this, but do take care to think it over carefully before resigning. I'm not suggesting months, but maybe give yourself a couple of weeks to do some investigating?
Is there any option like working part time, or in a less intensive way (tho maybe for a lower salary)? Or having a 'career break' or some sick leave? At least take some time *before* you resign to find out about things like social security and what your situation would be. Maybe it is the right decision, but its such a big one..
Worth discussing with your pdoc first and then maybe your boss, before you write that letter.
I'm very aware you are faced with a choice between 2 unsatisfactory situations.
Good luck, whatever you decide.
Fi
Posted by akc on January 2, 2002, at 6:11:39
In reply to Almost finished, posted by bob on January 1, 2002, at 22:47:17
I sit here at a loss for words. All I know is that I can feel the pain you are going through. God do I know. And the frustration in not finding an end to this hell. I don't want to be a cheerleader -- but I still feel a need to encourage you to keep holding on. There has to be a solution, and we have to keep fighting for it. Don't let this bastard win.
akc
Posted by bob on January 2, 2002, at 16:07:52
In reply to Re: Almost finished » bob, posted by Fi on January 2, 2002, at 5:28:59
> Bob
>
> Sympathies re this difficult situation.
>
> I realise you may already have thought of this, but do take care to think it over carefully before resigning. I'm not suggesting months, but maybe give yourself a couple of weeks to do some investigating?
>
> Is there any option like working part time, or in a less intensive way (tho maybe for a lower salary)? Or having a 'career break' or some sick leave? At least take some time *before* you resign to find out about things like social security and what your situation would be. Maybe it is the right decision, but its such a big one..
>
> Worth discussing with your pdoc first and then maybe your boss, before you write that letter.
>
> I'm very aware you are faced with a choice between 2 unsatisfactory situations.
>
> Good luck, whatever you decide.
>
> Fi------------------------------------
Thanks for the suggestions. I will not resign before all possibilities are exhausted.
Bob
Posted by bob on January 2, 2002, at 16:09:50
In reply to Re: Almost finished, posted by akc on January 2, 2002, at 6:11:39
> I sit here at a loss for words. All I know is that I can feel the pain you are going through. God do I know. And the frustration in not finding an end to this hell. I don't want to be a cheerleader -- but I still feel a need to encourage you to keep holding on. There has to be a solution, and we have to keep fighting for it. Don't let this bastard win.
>
> akcI hear you. It's just getting fainter as time goes on. I'm not quite done yet... just almost. There's a couple more possible meds, and there's always ECT. It's getting very difficult to push myself though.
Thanks you so much for your concern and empathy.
Bob
Posted by Augusta on January 2, 2002, at 16:52:37
In reply to Almost finished, posted by bob on January 1, 2002, at 22:47:17
Bob,
Have you looked into the possibility of applying for disability benefits? I think you might well be eligible for them, based on the severity of your depression.
I am myself now applying for Social Security Disability benefits and I am told that I am likely to be approved (perhaps not in the first round, but probably on administrative appeal). My profile is similar to yours.
YOu might be eligible for benefits from your workplace also. I would certainly urge you to look into it.
I really am sorry that you feel so bad. I don't know if it helps to hear this, but I do know well what it feels like to be where you are right now.
Posted by bob on January 2, 2002, at 23:52:46
In reply to Re: Almost finished » bob, posted by Augusta on January 2, 2002, at 16:52:37
Augusta:
Are you doing all the work for applying for SS alone, or are you getting help: i.e., a lawyer or social worker?
What do you mean when you say I may be eligible for benefits from work? If you're referring to LTD benefits... I don't have that. By the time I went to apply for it, I already had depression as a preexisting condition and they wouldn't touch me with a 10ft pole.
Bob
This is the end of the thread.
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