Psycho-Babble Social Thread 5389

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Can someone please explain how to overcome...

Posted by Dubya on March 30, 2001, at 15:52:23

...how to overcome being frustrated/upset w/life since having to put up with a few depressive illnesses? Please, any input would be helpful. I am really frustrated to an extreme point that... anyways, how do I get over feeling dumb/stupid? I basically hate myself as everyone can see. I think I hate myself because, I regret not getting treated 10-15 yrs ago, instead, I put up with it, not knowing that something was wrong with me. Now the shame/guilt is KILLING me or rather I am killing myself w/shame/guilt.

 

Re: Can someone please explain how to overcome...

Posted by Noa on March 30, 2001, at 16:29:15

In reply to Can someone please explain how to overcome..., posted by Dubya on March 30, 2001, at 15:52:23

Oops. nevermind the last post. I thought I was at regular babble, but here we are already at social. Sometimes I can be a real space cadet.

Anyway. Give yourself a break.

I too have grieved all the lost years for not having adequate treatment for depression, etc. But there were lots of reasons for that, and I gotta let go and move on.

But the grieving is good. Yes, feel sad about the lost years, but don't blame yourself for them. You should focus on how NOW you are starting to take the steps needed to address the problems.

It goes one day at a time. Really. Patience is truly a virtue in dealing with these illnesses.

You cannot expect yourself to "get over" this stuff fast. It is a process.

Every day, make the goal of being just a bit kinder and gentler (true, I wasn't a G. Bush, Sr. fan, but I really did like that phrase a lot) and more generous with yourself. See if you can be kinder to yourself in one or two small ways each day--say something forgiving to yourself to answer the self-critical internal voice, for example.

 

Wow! Thanks NOA, hope that works!!!

Posted by Dubya on March 30, 2001, at 16:34:51

In reply to Re: Can someone please explain how to overcome..., posted by Noa on March 30, 2001, at 16:29:15

Yup, the voice within is very harsh, he doesn't want to tone down. The day I actually get over these illnesses, I will really celebrate. I am religious to a realistic extent, that helps a bit to remind me that it isn't worth dying or taking my life but, at the same time, the frustration within, is killing me. I am unusually patient for a guy hehe but, I agree with what you said. I really can't wait to get away from the problems. MY school profs are very understanding apparently, I have been blessed with many chances to submit assignments w/out any penalty. THe more understanding others are about my condition, the better I feel.

 

Re: Can someone please explain how to overcome...

Posted by stjames on March 30, 2001, at 16:52:43

In reply to Can someone please explain how to overcome..., posted by Dubya on March 30, 2001, at 15:52:23

As much as I think meds are important, the problems you mentioned are going to require
some therapy. Are you doing any ? This is not something one can "explain" and then you go "Oh"
and it is all better. It is going to take commitment from you to work for at least 6 months
with a therapist.

James

 

Re: Wow! Thanks NOA, hope that works!!!

Posted by Noa on March 30, 2001, at 18:07:03

In reply to Wow! Thanks NOA, hope that works!!!, posted by Dubya on March 30, 2001, at 16:34:51

> >The day I actually get over these illnesses, I will really celebrate.

I think I have learned to conceptualize it differently---I have a serious chronic condition that, with treatment, is in remission. However, I am aware that I may at some point have a relapse, but because of how well the treatment is working, I expect that the relapses will be briefer and much easier to treat than previous episodes.

Also, I see the process of psychological healing, so necessary in conjunction with the biological healing, as an ongoing process. Yes, in some ways, I do wake up most days now and feel grateful that I am so much better than I was before--so in some ways, it is like that day you long for, feeling "over" the problems. But I am also a lot more realistic now than I was before. "over" doesn't mean completely free of any depressed mood. It includes an acceptance that sometimes, like all "normal" people, I may feel depressed or anxious, etc. My problems, ie, things in my life that I don't like, or want to improve, etc., aren't all "gone". It is a work in progress, getting better over time.

So that is why I conceptualize it differently than the idea of coming to "a" day of "getting over" the illness.

My illness is in remission, it is a matter on ongoing management to keep it there. I have not been "cured", but that is ok.

I agree with James that therapy might be a good complement to your medication treatments. Once your meds are at therapeutic levels, hopefully, it will be a bit easier to start to look at the psychosocial aspects of the illness. And remember, it is is a process, one step at a time, and not one with linear progress, necessarily, so it does take patience.

The effort is hard, but worth it.

 

Re: Can someone please explain how to overcome...

Posted by swiss on March 30, 2001, at 18:16:21

In reply to Can someone please explain how to overcome..., posted by Dubya on March 30, 2001, at 15:52:23

Dubya, mail me at amisulpride@yahoo.com


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