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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by dennis on January 17, 2001, at 22:42:27
Sometimes when I get really depressed and anxiety the only thing that keeps me from going crazy is knowing that I always have the option to kill myself. This option provides me with tremendous relief from my pain. This has been going on like a cycle, I slowly get depressed to the point where I think about suicide which gives me relief to know I am not trapped here and then the cycle repeats, as I said in my earlier post I think its my lack of options, lack of freedom, the oppresion that causes my depression to a large extent, you know I have seen peoples lives, they work 40 hours a week doing shit they dont like doing, they never have enough money, and there life just goes right down the towlet, cities are basicly work camps where there are slaves and there are masters, and all the slaves are just doing what they have to do to survive and waiting to die, while the few people in the world who are lucky enough to have money actually get to live and be free, but anyway I am addicted to this board now so your just gonna have to put up with the crap I write, but if you have anything to say about suicidal thoughts providing me relief and whether or not thats healthy then you know what to do.
If you get a chance listen to John Lennon's song Imagine, if you dont have it get it on napster.
Posted by NikkiT2 on January 18, 2001, at 9:48:06
In reply to I am 19 years old, posted by dennis on January 17, 2001, at 22:42:27
Hi Dennis.
I'm only 26, an dalready doing that "40 hours a week in something I hate" shit. If you can, find what you love, and do that. I'm stuck in my little hole now, and debts mean I can't do what I love. But we've both got ages in our lives really to find what we want (I need to work with animals I've just discovered!!!) and I know I will still have the chnace in my 30's once my debts are paid off.
Stay with us dude....
nikki xx
Posted by tina on January 18, 2001, at 10:22:02
In reply to I am 19 years old, posted by dennis on January 17, 2001, at 22:42:27
I say if a person wants to die, who the hell has the right to try to stop them? I'm glad you have a way out Dennis. Whatever is beyond this life has got to be better than what's here. I only wish I had your "way out" as an option. You see, I'm too afraid. Afraid to die, afraid to live. I'm stuck in that trap forever.
Good luck to you man
T
> Sometimes when I get really depressed and anxiety the only thing that keeps me from going crazy is knowing that I always have the option to kill myself. This option provides me with tremendous relief from my pain. This has been going on like a cycle, I slowly get depressed to the point where I think about suicide which gives me relief to know I am not trapped here and then the cycle repeats, as I said in my earlier post I think its my lack of options, lack of freedom, the oppresion that causes my depression to a large extent, you know I have seen peoples lives, they work 40 hours a week doing shit they dont like doing, they never have enough money, and there life just goes right down the towlet, cities are basicly work camps where there are slaves and there are masters, and all the slaves are just doing what they have to do to survive and waiting to die, while the few people in the world who are lucky enough to have money actually get to live and be free, but anyway I am addicted to this board now so your just gonna have to put up with the crap I write, but if you have anything to say about suicidal thoughts providing me relief and whether or not thats healthy then you know what to do.
> If you get a chance listen to John Lennon's song Imagine, if you dont have it get it on napster.
Posted by julesvox on January 18, 2001, at 10:36:45
In reply to Re: I am 19 years old, posted by tina on January 18, 2001, at 10:22:02
dennis, i believe suicidality is a competely understandable response to unbearable pain. of course we think of all the ways we can stop it, including death.
and, i don't believe it is an answer to pain. my pdoc once suggested that when i feel suidical, to think of it as a symptom of how much pain i'm in. so the response can be not necessarily, yeah, i'd better die, but wow, i'm in a hell of a lot of pain and i need to do something about that.
i think the fact you're on this board means at least some part of you doesn't want to die. maybe you don't believe that. i do believe that you can get through this.
warmly, julesvox
Posted by Noa on January 18, 2001, at 16:00:38
In reply to Re: I am 19 years old, posted by julesvox on January 18, 2001, at 10:36:45
Dennis,
For 19 yo, you are quite astute to have developed this insight.
That feeling of powerlessness is so painful. I can understand feeling like it helps to feel there is a way out.
But what is important to think about is that the stuck feeling you are having, and the depression it is causing, causes cognitive constriction---makes it hard for you to see that there might be SEVERAL viable ways to solve the problem of feel trapped and powerless, not just the one way.
It sounds to me like you need help to get through this crisis, and perhaps medication could help to counter the cognitive constriction effects of the depression, and then some counseling to help you figure out ways to feel more power in your life, to feel you have more options to choose from.
You DON'T have to buy into the "script" that you feel others have written for your life as an adult--you CAN decide on a way to live life that you can believe in. Counseling can help you to figure this out.
But please get help now because even though your suicidal urges are a way to help you feel some sense of options in a situation of feeling trapped, the risk is that you will act on them, and I don't think it is what you want, deep down, that what you do want is relief from the feeling that your life offers you no options that you find viable, appealing.
Posted by Gracie2 on January 18, 2001, at 20:06:43
In reply to Re: I am 19 years old, posted by Noa on January 18, 2001, at 16:00:38
I remember being your age and feeling just like you do. I did something that wiped all that out...
I joined the Army. In basic you just don't have time to think about all that other crap - believe me, you do not have the time.
-Gracie
PS. I recommend the Air Force though.
This is the end of the thread.
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