Psycho-Babble Social Thread 1864

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Re: Subjects NEVER to be broached

Posted by Racer on November 8, 2000, at 20:36:35

In reply to Subjects NEVER to be broached » B Day, posted by Greg on November 8, 2000, at 18:40:58

I guess my guy really is as stellar as I think him: He will ask, with great concern, "How do you feel? You must be nearing the end of your sentence, getting ready to punctuate? How's your tummy?"

Of course, it's only natural that he should worship me, of course, even if he does get out of bed and off the sofa at times...

 

Re: Subjects NEVER to be broached » B Day

Posted by Racer on November 8, 2000, at 20:39:43

In reply to Re: Subjects NEVER to be broached » Greg, posted by B Day on November 8, 2000, at 20:03:13

> > It amazes me that you seem to have no idea how offensive this is to intelligent, thinking women. (NOT LADIES) It amazes me that you consider yourself to be some charming cherubic
> > haven provider. I can't believe no one has called you on this sh*t in all these months. At least it proves the point I made months ago: just because one is (insert diagnosis) doesn't mean one is necessarily smarter, more sensitive, more creative, more intelligent, more PERf'ingCEPTIVE than the run-of the-mill slob.
> >
>
> Sorry Greg, I was just waitin' for you to get that one! ;-b
>
> Smilin' from the Dog House,
>
> Mr. A
I think it was nice of Greg to step in and draw the flak so that you could run back to the embassy. We should give him the Lumptonian Metal of Valor. Not a medal, you know. A metal. We'll have to discover a new one, first...

 

To Greg

Posted by Hannah on November 8, 2000, at 22:04:17

In reply to Re: Subjects NEVER to be broached, posted by alicefranklin on November 8, 2000, at 19:49:21

> how offensive this is to intelligent, thinking women. (NOT LADIES)

I agree. It is very offensive. I hope you reconsider posting this sort of "humor". I don't think I can change your mind but could you just respect those of us who are offended by not posting it? Perhaps you could use private e-mail for this sort of thing?

 

The Havenmaster shows Great Wisdom

Posted by shar on November 8, 2000, at 22:25:00

In reply to Subjects NEVER to be broached » B Day, posted by Greg on November 8, 2000, at 18:40:58

Havenmaster,
These words shall have a prominent place in the Official Lumptonian Herstorical Archives. They show wisdom beyond your years, gained, no doubt, at great personal sacrifice to yourself.

The Right Honorable Herstorical Curator will not change a word (which shows great restraint on her part), and offers you kudos, and band-aids for your wounds.

RHHC and HPR


> AB,
>
> I thought rather than to deal with the words as individual entities, I would cover the avoidable subjects,
>
> There are three, Age, Assumption of Meaning and That Time of the Month.
>
> 1. Never assume a woman's age:
>
> Avoid phrases like "Is that a grey hair? or "You're not getting older, you're getting better" The one that gets me in the most trouble is "Those aren't wrinkles dear, they're laugh lines"
>
> The viable alternative in all age situations is "Your intelligence is exceeded only by your timeless beauty"
>
> 2. Never assume you understand what a woman means:
>
> The following phrases are an accident looking for a place to happen, just fill in the blanks. "But you told me to_________, or "But you said yesterday_________. The worst one being "If you didn't mean it, why did you say it?
>
> The alternative in this situation is always "Dear, your incredible ability to adapt to any given situation has always been a source of inspiration to me"
>
> Never assume that a woman's mood is due to That Time of the Month:
>
> Avoid phrases like "I understand dear, this time of the month is difficult for you" or "What can I do to make you feel better?" The time of the month is not the problem, you are and you don't understand. Despite your best efforts, you will say something that will make her cry. PMS really does mean "Putting up with Men's shit", get used to it.
>
> There is no alternative here. You can't win and you'll only make things worse by trying.
>
> I hope this helps in some way to keep your time in the dog house to a minimum. As I think of more to share with you, I will pass it on.
>
> Alwaye remember that Women are God's greatest and most wonderful creations. Treat them as such and you will survive.
>
> HM
>
> There is no alternative here. This subject is taboo. You can't win, don't try.

 

Uh-oh. The Curator Reconsiders.

Posted by shar on November 8, 2000, at 22:47:42

In reply to To Greg, posted by Hannah on November 8, 2000, at 22:04:17

Lords and Ladies and Women of Lumptonia,

Upon reflection about the potential offensiveness of the Havenmaster's post:

Given the nature of this imaginary Kingdom, the idea of fantasy and fun, and the topics of Lumping and Blobbing, Couching and Pupating, Sticky Brown Lips, The Official Walk, Nubile Slaves, and the National Food, and the serious humor aimed at anyone and everyone, and, whereas the Herstorical Curator is an intelligent and thinking and overeducated woman/lady (as in m'lady), and has used the concomitant Gentleman in proclamations, and whereas we are deciding not only how to treat the females of Lumptonia, but also how to keep the Esteemed Labrador out of the dog house long enough to evolve a bit, I shall not sway from including the Havenmaster's recommendations in the Archives.

I will however annotate with the posts (word for word) that were vehemently opposed to the Havenmaster's remarks.

The Right Honorable Herstorical Curator and High Priestess of Research


> > how offensive this is to intelligent, thinking women. (NOT LADIES)
>
> I agree. It is very offensive. I hope you reconsider posting this sort of "humor". I don't think I can change your mind but could you just respect those of us who are offended by not posting it? Perhaps you could use private e-mail for this sort of thing?
>
>

 

Re: Treatise for the Ladies of Lumptonia

Posted by Emmanuela on November 8, 2000, at 22:49:30

In reply to Re: Treatise for the Ladies of Lumptonia » shar, posted by B Day on November 8, 2000, at 12:19:13

'And in harmony with the wishes of The Right Honorable Herstorical Curator and High Priestess of Research, I
agree to make myself available to the ladies of Lumptonia (including those who are single) if they need, at times, to
call on the Ambassador to help in making their wholes more live.'

As Prime Ministress, but more importantly, National Choreographer, we're considering whether our esteemed Ambassador needs a Spell Checker (a position needing to be filled), or needs to simply pantomime his thoughts and words. Being politically astute, the Prime Ministress is finding it more and more difficult to believe that our esteemed Ambassador would inadvertently transpose words.
We may be asking for a recount.

 

Re: Uh-oh. The Curator Reconsiders.

Posted by Emmanuela on November 9, 2000, at 0:21:35

In reply to Uh-oh. The Curator Reconsiders., posted by shar on November 8, 2000, at 22:47:42

Beloved Curator (and most likely Curer of Ills) - I salute you (in the official stance of a True Lumptonite, to wit, standing, back bent forward, arms hanging loosely, limply and uselessly, in front of the body)for your wise and wily wisdom. If I may be so bold, I would beg your permission to have our Ambassador appoint you Official Mediator. Would you be able to raise your clever but heavy head off the pillow for nary a second to accept the Appointment?

 

Re: please be civil » alicefranklin

Posted by Dr. Bob on November 9, 2000, at 3:45:45

In reply to Re: Subjects NEVER to be broached, posted by alicefranklin on November 8, 2000, at 19:49:21

> I can't believe no one has called you on this sh*t in all these months. At least it proves the point I made months ago: just because one is (insert diagnosis) doesn't mean one is necessarily smarter, more sensitive, more creative, more intelligent, more PERf'ingCEPTIVE than the run-of the-mill slob.

Please, it's important to be civil here.

Bob

 

Re: Where angels fear to tread . . .

Posted by coral on November 9, 2000, at 4:00:38

In reply to Re: Uh-oh. The Curator Reconsiders., posted by Emmanuela on November 9, 2000, at 0:21:35

To one and all,

The discussions and discovery of Lumptonia came about as a means to bring a "light-heartednesss" in exploring how some people who suffer from depression co-exist with others (primarily loved ones) who do not suffer from depression. I speak from pure experience since it was my Wonderful Husband (WH) who coined the phrase "Lump person" days.
It is understandable that some people may be uncomfortable even to the degree of finding some posts offensive with such an undertaking. I suppose that is inevitable, albeit unfortunate. I can think of no less than a thousand ways that not only was the original intent (light-heartedness) and the ensuing tangents could be considered politically incorrect by some. However, given the benefits that I've personally received which include literally laughing out loud out-weighed the risks. I presume that my feelings are shared by others who have to continued to post in the true spirit of Lumptonia.
As a Lumptonian, I have not encouraged or sought participants (nor have I seen anyone else do this), but rather people got on this particular train because they, too, appreciated the value in light-heartedness. One of the many nice things about this board is that people are free to not read any particular thread if they so choose.
Those of us, commonly identified as Lumptonians, have playfully pounced on one another, but always using a "light-hearted" approach to explore our differences and different perceptions.
Frankly, this is not a thread for resolving old and obviously real differences of opinion, thoughts and practices as it flies in the face of Lumptonian light-heartedness. This is just one small corner of the world (or play yard as Lumptonians like to think).
I speak only for myself --- in battling the viciousness of depression, I am extremely grateful for others who participate in this thread, in Lumptonia, if you will. It has helped me battle demons with laughter. I will actively fight for the spirit of Lumptonia - I realize the potential oxymoron in that commitment, but stand by it, since I know other Lumptonians will understand.

Coral (or as I am known to Lumptonians - Couch Person Extraordinaire - CPE)

 

Re: Subjects NEVER to be broached--LOL » B Day

Posted by noa on November 9, 2000, at 6:33:45

In reply to Re: Subjects NEVER to be broached » Greg, posted by B Day on November 8, 2000, at 20:03:13

Mr. Ambassador,

Did you set the Ambassador of Havenmaster up for that faux paw? He really got whalloped that time, as you so deftly dodge it.

 

Re:Designation of the Mascot

Posted by noa on November 9, 2000, at 6:51:33

In reply to Re: Where angels fear to tread . . ., posted by coral on November 9, 2000, at 4:00:38

The question of mascot was raised earlier, but still, I believe, remains unresolved.

Several animals were proposed. I recall the sloth, the bear and the penguin. Of course, numerous references to the dog have also been made, but not as a candidate for mascot.

It came to me in my sleep---perhaps another possible mascot:

The SLUG.

Let us consider the options:

Sloth--quite appropriate, particulary its noctunal nature, or more specifically, that it sleeps during the day, and its speed of movement.

Slug--also quite good. I have used this term to refer to my lumpish tendencies ("I was a total slug all weekend"). The slug is slow moving and appears immobile. I am not sure about the slime aspect, but perhaps that has its parallels in lumpism.

Bear--evokes the retreat to the cave and hibernation. And, it can be both lovable and ferocious, which speaks to the possibility of moodiness. Yes, quite good, as well. But what do we make of its summer behavior?

Penguin--stands around a lot, limited limb movement. But, despite looking rather immobile sometimes, have you seen how perky they look in the water? Most importantly--too upright.

I humbly request that this matter be placed before the people.

And, in the interest of avoiding scandalous irregularities in voting, which could lead to a lengthy era of recounting and lawsuiting, I propose the substitution of all butterfly ballots with either rattlesnake ballots or polarbear ballots.

Thank you, kind lumps.

 

Re:Designation of the Mascot

Posted by coral on November 9, 2000, at 6:59:54

In reply to Re:Designation of the Mascot, posted by noa on November 9, 2000, at 6:51:33

Dear Noa,

My WH recommended the turtle or tortoise because it takes its couch with it where ever it goes, the rate of speed (or lack thereof), the capability of immediate withdrawal from the world at-large, and its own firm world all to itself.

Respectfully submitted,

CPE

 

Sexist humor is abusive..... » coral

Posted by Hannah on November 9, 2000, at 7:37:10

In reply to Re: Where angels fear to tread . . ., posted by coral on November 9, 2000, at 4:00:38

I guess I should just be a good little lump (hey maybe a coal lump?) and get myself off this thread and cease being uppity and stop complaining and start myself a separate but equal thread. But I think it's important to speak up and support people who are hurt by this kind of thing. Abuse of women includes verbal abuse and being couched in humor doesn't change that. I don't think you have to hurt other people to cheer yourself up. I don't think respecting other people is political correctness, I think it's treating people the way you would want to be treated.

> To one and all,
>
> The discussions and discovery of Lumptonia came about as a means to bring a "light-heartednesss" in exploring how some people who suffer from depression co-exist with others (primarily loved ones) who do not suffer from depression. I speak from pure experience since it was my Wonderful Husband (WH) who coined the phrase "Lump person" days.
> It is understandable that some people may be uncomfortable even to the degree of finding some posts offensive with such an undertaking. I suppose that is inevitable, albeit unfortunate. I can think of no less than a thousand ways that not only was the original intent (light-heartedness) and the ensuing tangents could be considered politically incorrect by some. However, given the benefits that I've personally received which include literally laughing out loud out-weighed the risks. I presume that my feelings are shared by others who have to continued to post in the true spirit of Lumptonia.
> As a Lumptonian, I have not encouraged or sought participants (nor have I seen anyone else do this), but rather people got on this particular train because they, too, appreciated the value in light-heartedness. One of the many nice things about this board is that people are free to not read any particular thread if they so choose.
> Those of us, commonly identified as Lumptonians, have playfully pounced on one another, but always using a "light-hearted" approach to explore our differences and different perceptions.
> Frankly, this is not a thread for resolving old and obviously real differences of opinion, thoughts and practices as it flies in the face of Lumptonian light-heartedness. This is just one small corner of the world (or play yard as Lumptonians like to think).
> I speak only for myself --- in battling the viciousness of depression, I am extremely grateful for others who participate in this thread, in Lumptonia, if you will. It has helped me battle demons with laughter. I will actively fight for the spirit of Lumptonia - I realize the potential oxymoron in that commitment, but stand by it, since I know other Lumptonians will understand.
>
> Coral (or as I am known to Lumptonians - Couch Person Extraordinaire - CPE)

 

Verbal and emotional abuse

Posted by Hannah on November 9, 2000, at 8:06:25

In reply to Sexist humor is abusive..... » coral, posted by Hannah on November 9, 2000, at 7:37:10


This is a good link. Although it is specifically written for emotional/verbal abuse of a partner I think it could be generalized to any human relationship.
http://www.cawc.org/a_verbal.html

I am copying part of it below. I wouldn't have had the courage to object if alice hadn't spoken up. But it did indeed make me feel many of the feelings described. (But feeling like I should be a "good sport" and not object.) And having it minimized or told that I "shouldn't" object didn't help. I'm not crazy or irrational or unreasonable.


VERBAL & EMOTIONAL ABUSE

Some definitions: Verbal assaults, manipulative and or controlling behaviors toward a partner which cause that person to feel afraid, confused, overwhelmed, threatened, powerless, crazy, inadequate, frustrated, or rejected.

The purpose of the verbal assaults and manipulations is to gain and maintain power over the partner. Forms of verbal and emotional abuse include, but are not limited to:


• name-calling
• making jokes at other's expense X
• yelling
• accusing
• blaming
• criticizing
• threatening
• refusing to talk
• making degrading remarks X
• arguing
• put-downs X
• judging X
• demanding
• ordering a person to do something
• minimizing things that are important to the other X
• denying previous abusive words and behaviors X

I Xed some of the more applicable.

 

Reply to Hannah

Posted by Hannah on November 9, 2000, at 8:27:19

In reply to Verbal and emotional abuse, posted by Hannah on November 9, 2000, at 8:06:25

I reject seperate but equal!!!!!

I object also to hateful humor directed against men!!!!

Comment about not hurting others to cheer ourselves up was generic.

 

Re: Lumptonian Electoral College

Posted by coral on November 9, 2000, at 8:38:05

In reply to Welcome To The Monkey House!, posted by B Day on November 8, 2000, at 15:15:25

Dear Mr. Ambassador,

Does Lumptonia have an Electoral College? If so, what is the curriculum?

Do we have a Director or Directoress of Education?

CPE

 

An Apology

Posted by Greg on November 9, 2000, at 9:17:53

In reply to Re: Lumptonian Electoral College, posted by coral on November 9, 2000, at 8:38:05

All,

I wish to apologize for my earlier tasteless and thoughtless post. I hope that most of you realize that it was not an attempt to offend any of the ladies here, but was meant to to be a light-hearted joke. I realize now it was something I should have never done. It is unfortunetly something I cannot take back.

My wife and I joke about these issues and she knows I never mean them with any seriousness. But she is very close to me and knows my sense of humor. You don't. I meant it when I said that hold women in the highest regard and I will always feel that way.

Out of respect for those who I have offended I will withdraw my participation from this site. I wish all of you health, happiness and peace of mind.

Greg

 

Re:Designation of the Mascot » coral

Posted by noa on November 9, 2000, at 10:02:06

In reply to Re:Designation of the Mascot, posted by coral on November 9, 2000, at 6:59:54

Ah, yes, I omitted the Turtle. I am sorry. Thank you for adding it to the list. Consider it a candidates.

 

Re: An Apology » Greg

Posted by noa on November 9, 2000, at 10:11:31

In reply to An Apology, posted by Greg on November 9, 2000, at 9:17:53

Greg,

The apology is eloquent, and I hope appreciated by the people who found the humor uncomfortable, but I do not see a need to withdraw your SELF from this site. Withdraw further comments that others might find offensive, yes. But withdraw all of you? Absolutely not necessary.

I took the humor for what it was, in the context of this silly play-acting thread that has been a fun diversion for us. I am very sure (and suspect there are many others who agree) that the impression of you that some people got through the humor in question---that you are insensitive or mysoginistic (Sp?), or something like that, is inaccurate.

If it offends someone, it is their right to say so, although perhaps with less vehement language), but that does not mean that the impression that post gave them of who you are is correct, and it certainly does not mean that you should leave.

I respect your offering the apology.

I want you to stick around.

 

Re: Subjects NEVER to be broached--LOL » noa

Posted by B Day on November 9, 2000, at 10:31:22

In reply to Re: Subjects NEVER to be broached--LOL » B Day, posted by noa on November 9, 2000, at 6:33:45

Clever Noa,

While spending the best part of recent days in his new residence, one thought kept popping into the Ambassador's mind: "Where the hell's the Havenmaster?". He was nowhere to be found. When the Ambassador was finally able to locate him, he observed the Havenmaster laying back, choosing his words to the Lumptonian femininery with great care and self-confidence.

The Ambassador considered the HM's well-crafted correspondence, compared it to his own less refined offerings and thought to himself, "Why should I have all the fun?" Understanding men as he does, the Ambassador realized that if he could but only beseech enough words from the Havenmaster, he would surely get his share! So when the Ambassador solicited the Havenmaster for The List Of Words To Be Avoided, he knew he was luring him into spooky, fun-filled waters.

However, the Ambassador had no way of knowing, that with his first step, the Havenmaster was about to plunge into the most bottomless part of the murky depths. The Ambassador was pleased to see the Havenmaster able to share his good times so much and so quickly. Enjoying the Havenmaster's drenching immensely and not wishing to interfere with the special occasion, the Ambassador thought, "I believe I'll just step out of the way for a while!"

Surely the bond between the Havenmaster and the Ambassador will be strengthened now that we have a new experience in common.

Speaking on behalf of the Havenmaster and myself; let me say we appreciate the patience shown by Lumptonia's majority sector with our clumsy diplomatic efforts and would pray for your continued forbearance until which time, with your help, the Havenmaster and I are properly trained.

Your loving Ambassador,

B

 

HC yells: Arrest that man!

Posted by shar on November 9, 2000, at 10:37:03

In reply to Subjects NEVER to be broached » B Day, posted by Greg on November 8, 2000, at 18:40:58

As the Historical Curator I see the immediate need for a constable, as the Havenmaster must be stopped before he crosses the border of Lumptonia! His assault by two tourists have made him run for his life, and the Right Honorable Historical Curator insists he is much safer in Lumptonia, where he is mostly beloved, than in the world at large. Plus, Lumptonian females/ladies/women/xx's would be left with only one male/gentleman/man/xy who spends the majority of his time on his official couch in his official dog house.

As Historical Curator, I have failed Lumptonians by not insisting that we elect a constable sooner. Or, that the Labassador appoint a constable. As our Havenmaster nears the edge...er, I mean border, we risk losing him and must act post-haste.

I personally (although the Historical Curator hates to step out of role) thought the "things not to say" were pretty astute. And funny. I think the only item missing was one about weight, or "does this make me look fat?" which he might have lost his head over.

The Right Honorable Historical Curator and High Priestess of Research

 

Mascot Vote

Posted by shar on November 9, 2000, at 10:42:24

In reply to Re:Designation of the Mascot » coral, posted by noa on November 9, 2000, at 10:02:06

The Historical Curator casts her vote for the Tortoise because she has always liked the story of the Tortoise and the Hare, and how the Tortoise wins in the end. This may give Lumptonians some false hope, which is better than no hope at all.

As High Priestess of Research I will be available to monitor what may appear to be any discrepancies in the voting.

The Right Honorable HERstorical Curator and High Priestess of Research

> Ah, yes, I omitted the Turtle. I am sorry. Thank you for adding it to the list. Consider it a candidates.

 

Re: Subjects NEVER to be broached » Racer

Posted by B Day on November 9, 2000, at 10:46:21

In reply to Re: Subjects NEVER to be broached » B Day, posted by Racer on November 8, 2000, at 20:39:43

> Racer says:
> I think it was nice of Greg to step in and draw the flak so that you could run back to the embassy.
>
> We should give him the Lumptonian Metal of Valor. Not a medal, you know. A metal. We'll have to discover a new one, first...
>

Our Beloved Messiah,

Rest assured; no one appreciates the Havenmaster's noble gesture more than the Ambassador.

I agree, for his good will, good intent, good humor and good heart; the Havenmaster deserves honor in such fashion.

Your Ambassador,
B

 

Re: An Apology-Thanks Greg » Greg

Posted by Hannah on November 9, 2000, at 11:10:49

In reply to An Apology, posted by Greg on November 9, 2000, at 9:17:53

Thanks. Apology accepted. You have no idea how hard it was for me to stand up and object. I appreciate your reply and have no wish for you to leave the site.

> All,
>
> I wish to apologize for my earlier tasteless and thoughtless post. I hope that most of you realize that it was not an attempt to offend any of the ladies here, but was meant to to be a light-hearted joke. I realize now it was something I should have never done. It is unfortunetly something I cannot take back.
>
> My wife and I joke about these issues and she knows I never mean them with any seriousness. But she is very close to me and knows my sense of humor. You don't. I meant it when I said that hold women in the highest regard and I will always feel that way.
>
> Out of respect for those who I have offended I will withdraw my participation from this site. I wish all of you health, happiness and peace of mind.
>
> Greg

 

Re Reply to Hannah #2

Posted by Hannah on November 9, 2000, at 11:22:38

In reply to Re: An Apology-Thanks Greg » Greg, posted by Hannah on November 9, 2000, at 11:10:49

HI Shar If you're a feminist you'll probably recognize me as one of those uppity women who doesn't know her place :o)

I think it's important to confront abuse in the place where it is happening. It's not something to sweep under the rug (or onto another thread).

I don't have any distaste or offense against Greg as a person. It was against the things he posted. I admire his sensitivity for recognizing that he was offending someone and hurting someone and taking responsibility for it.


> I agree this should stay a separate thread, and let us ignernt other females/ladies/women/xx's have a little fun in Lumptonia.
>
> When I read Greg's post, it never occurred to me that he was being insulting, because these are some of the things that have happened in relationships of mine. Ie, the PMS thing, the grey hair, not so much the misunderstanding.
>
> Having been in a verbally and psychologically abusive relationship for too many years (divorced about 4 years ago and haven't dated since) I know what hurts me, I know the grinding hatred that the true misogynist uses whether in jest or while being serious. I know the shame associated with trying to live up to impossible "standards" that change in case you meet them. I know what it's like to hate myself because of the constant daily battering of verbal abuse.
>
> I believe Greg is a Good Guy, he has become a good friend (one of the only males I've ever felt safe with). If all or part of what he says offends you, you are certainly entitled to your feelings and opinions, and I hope you will discuss them in this thread instead of bringing your distaste and offense for Greg into a thread where people are actually playing. Very rare for (insert diagnosis) to do; having fun.
>
> BTW, I have been a Raging Feminist since the 70's and I take no prisoners, shoot straight, with no bull. Over the years, I've mellowed some, but will not stand for openly misogynistic statements here or anywhere else in my life.
>
> Shar
>
>
>
> > I guess I should just be a good little lump (hey maybe a coal lump?) and get myself off this thread and cease being uppity and stop complaining and start myself a separate but equal thread. But I think it's important to speak up and support people who are hurt by this kind of thing. Abuse of women includes verbal abuse and being couched in humor doesn't change that. I don't think you have to hurt other people to cheer yourself up. I don't think respecting other people is political correctness, I think it's treating people the way you would want to be treated.


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