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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 15 of 15. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by kellyR. on November 6, 2000, at 20:37:28
I seem to have a problem W/ one of my co-worker,she is always telling me that I'm doing things wrong,I worked at this place longer than she has, I no what I'm doing,not great but it gets done. And sometimes I have a hard time at work w/ all my problems & meds it makes work hard.She is the only one that has a problem w/ me.Do I tell her off or just live w/ it?
Posted by stjames on November 6, 2000, at 20:59:19
In reply to problems w/ co-worker, posted by kellyR. on November 6, 2000, at 20:37:28
You need to let management know about this and let
them take care of it.james
Posted by Racer on November 6, 2000, at 21:51:10
In reply to problems w/ co-worker, posted by kellyR. on November 6, 2000, at 20:37:28
I'm with stjames on this one. You are not the person who should be dealing with this. Your supervisor should handle it, both because it's interfering with your ability to work and because your coworker should not be acting as though she supervises you.
Good luck.
Posted by Rainwoman on November 7, 2000, at 11:29:46
In reply to Re: problems w/ co-worker » kellyR., posted by Racer on November 6, 2000, at 21:51:10
> I'm with stjames on this one. You are not the person who should be dealing with this. Your supervisor should handle it, both because it's interfering with your ability to work and because your coworker should not be acting as though she supervises you.
>
> Good luck.Kelly--
I can see stj and Racer's points. I also see another point, which is, would it give you a sense of self well being to handle the situation yourself? I only ask, because recently, I have found that being able to handle things on my own has given me a sense of pride in my ability to conduct myself well in situations.
If it is hard to imagine yourself doing this, I would seek assistance, but please, I am sure you know how touchy things can be in a workplace. Would she take more offense to being approached by m-ment rather than just saying:
"I realize that there is more than one way of doing things, and I don't mind constructive cristism here or there, but I feel I have to mention that for the most part I am comfortable with the way I approach things and sometimes continual critisism really can disrupt my train of thought"
or something to that effect. Then if that doesn't work, when you approach m-ment you can tell them you had attempted to handle the situation on your own.
Of course, you know best your situation, this is just a suggestion!
Michele
Posted by Racer on November 7, 2000, at 11:38:29
In reply to problems w/ co-worker, posted by kellyR. on November 6, 2000, at 20:37:28
After reading Rainwoman's response, I reread this, and see her point.
If you want to handle this yourself, rather than going to your boss, start out by recognising the main points here:
she's not your supervisor
She's not doing your job.
If she's paying this much attention to your work, she's probably neglecting her own.
So, you want to wonder why that might be, and you might approach it that way: "What is it about the way I do this that's really bothering you? You don't have to step in and do this job, so I just don't see why the way I do it should bother you so much?"
Now that I've said that, of course, I have to add something else:
Is it possible that the way you do your job impacts hers? Does she have to dig through mounds of misfiled documents? Fill out forms based on incomplete information? Cover when someone else complains? If it could be anything of that nature, tread lightly!
I guess, overall, I'd start out by asking her what the problem is. Not in an aggressive or defensive way, just to find out what's really bothering her. She may be feeling inferior and trying to self-medicate by criticising you. Maybe she's just an overgrown high-school cheerleader who has to put someone down to feel alive. Maybe she's just so nitpicky she can't help it. Maybe, of course, the way you are doing something interferes with the way she does her job...
Good luck!
Posted by kellyR. on November 7, 2000, at 11:39:47
In reply to problems w/ co-worker, posted by kellyR. on November 6, 2000, at 20:37:28
> I seem to have a problem W/ one of my co-worker,she is always telling me that I'm doing things wrong,I worked at this place longer than she has, I no what I'm doing,not great but it gets done. And sometimes I have a hard time at work w/ all my problems & meds it makes work hard.She is the only one that has a problem w/ me.Do I tell her off or just live w/ it?
Do you think that it would make more problems? She is very revengeful person,said something to the head nurse on floor & it made it real bad for sometime.I could go to the big cheese but she would like to see you work things like this out w/ the nurse on the floor,She wouldn't be back for one week.
Posted by Christina on November 7, 2000, at 12:10:51
In reply to problems w/ co-worker, posted by kellyR. on November 6, 2000, at 20:37:28
Tell her to F---OFf
No, just kidding (sounds fun tho, doesn't it)If she's an equal or subordinate, ignore her.
If she's a supervisor, explain your situation. It could really help you out.> I seem to have a problem W/ one of my co-worker,she is always telling me that I'm doing things wrong,I worked at this place longer than she has, I no what I'm doing,not great but it gets done. And sometimes I have a hard time at work w/ all my problems & meds it makes work hard.She is the only one that has a problem w/ me.Do I tell her off or just live w/ it?
Posted by Rainwoman on November 7, 2000, at 14:13:07
In reply to Re: problems w/ co-worker, posted by kellyR. on November 7, 2000, at 11:39:47
> > I seem to have a problem W/ one of my co-worker,she is always telling me that I'm doing things wrong,I worked at this place longer than she has, I no what I'm doing,not great but it gets done. And sometimes I have a hard time at work w/ all my problems & meds it makes work hard.She is the only one that has a problem w/ me.Do I tell her off or just live w/ it?
>
> Do you think that it would make more problems? She is very revengeful person,said something to the head nurse on floor & it made it real bad for sometime.I could go to the big cheese but she would like to see you work things like this out w/ the nurse on the floor,She wouldn't be back for one week.Kelly--
Tee hee, I like Christina's suggestion! OK, OK, how 'bout this,
while you are thinking "F&*( Off", lie out your ass. If she is a
defensive person, maybe starting out with "I value our work relationship,
(your nose is 4 inches long now) and I hope you do to (6 inches and counting),
which is why I feel like I can talk with you about this. I'm sure you mean well,
(getting pretty big now, but not quite up her butt, because you have the
F&*( off still in your brain) but I work very hard to do my best,
and where of course I can handle constructive critisism, continuous critism
is kind of hard to handle. Like I said, I know you mean well, but it's been
bothering me, so I wanted to mention it."I mean tailor it to what is comfortable for you, but make it clear you don't want to jeopordize
you work relationship, even if it is a stark lie. It's called politics. I think you can handle this. If you end up
having to consult the head nurse, you conducted yourself in a professional manner, and you should
be proud of yourself. Hopefully, the witch with the B will appreciate the fact that
you respected her enough to speak with her without involving m-ment. That isn't a guarantee
though. Some people are just stupid. Either way, what do you have to lose? If it works, you don't have to
involve m-ment. If it doesn't you go to m-ment and tell them you attempted to handle it unsuccessfully, and that is why you are coming to them. You can at least get credit for doing that! But, if you just go to m-ment without trying, you don't get to have the pride of attempting to handle a situation in a respectable manner on your own, and let m-ment know you did try. You sound like a smart girl. If you are so far down, don't attempt it.Either way you decide to go, keep in mind, if you approach her on your own and it does not work, YOU DID THE RIGHT THING AND YOU HAVE NOTHING TO FEEL BAD ABOUT. BE PROUD OF YOURSELF FOR HANDLING THIS IN A PROFESSIONAL MANNER YOURSELF. Just because you do the right thing, doesn't mean everybody else is. You are only accountable to yourself, not for other peoples' actions.
If neither works, kick her @$%!!Let us know how it goes!
Michele
Posted by Rainwoman on November 7, 2000, at 14:22:55
In reply to Re: problems w/ co-worker, posted by Rainwoman on November 7, 2000, at 14:13:07
Kelly--
I just reread my post, and I wanted to clarify. When I said "If you are so far down.."
I mean, if you are in a real depressed state. I know that when I am, I am lucky I can face myself in the mirror, let alone another co-worker. My rambling point is, that meds don't do everything, unfortunately. If a person is doing fairly well, handling situations such as this can add some confidence, at least it has for me. So, I wanted to share it.
You obviously are employed in a professional occupation and have been for some time, give yourself credit!As you can tell, I am rooting for you (as I trip over my soapbox...)!
Michele
Posted by Noa on November 7, 2000, at 19:01:44
In reply to Re: problems w/ co-worker, posted by Rainwoman on November 7, 2000, at 14:22:55
I don't know if this is helpful, but it is fun to think about:
Would "killing with kindness work"?
--"Thank you so kindly, I just don't know what I would do without your ever so attentive feedback" (sacharine smile to accompany this)
--"That's what I just adore about you--you always know the sweetest things to say to make me feel cheerful and look forward to coming in to work"
Or, there is the businesslike approach:
--"Thank you for registering your opinions, I'll take it under advisement. In the meantime, as I am thinking about how to implement your thoughtful ideas, I will need you to hold further comments so that I can focus all my energy on how to put your suggestions into action most effectively. If you'd like, feel free to express any further ideas to me in writing, though, and I'll be sure to read them just as soon as I have the time"
Posted by S. Howard on November 8, 2000, at 11:01:10
In reply to Re: problems w/ co-worker, posted by Noa on November 7, 2000, at 19:01:44
Ahh, hospital politics. Aren't they fun?
This sounds like one of those people - and unfortunately they're all over the place - who desperately want to be in charge of something. Since they're not really in charge of anything (including themselves usually) they will try to find someone to boss around. If you let her get to you, she will never go away.
Practice the icy stare and the short retort. If you try to argue with this type, it gives them an opening. The true reason behind the criticism is so they might display their vast expertise and superior knowledge. It's pretty pathetic actually.
If she keeps talking anyway, clap a hand over your mouth and grab an emesis basin, as obviously the subtle approach won't work.
Of course I would not recommend that response if this person is your supervisor. In that case, all you can do is remain calm. If she cannot pierce your armor, she will swim off to look for weaker fish. Above all, cover your bases. Do your work,
and be careful about incidents that she might try to use against you. Report to the charge nurse and write stuff down. Good luck!
Posted by shar on November 13, 2000, at 8:14:55
In reply to problems w/ co-worker, posted by kellyR. on November 6, 2000, at 20:37:28
Kelly,
I was wondering if you've tried to resolve this problem, and how it went?Shar
> I seem to have a problem W/ one of my co-worker,she is always telling me that I'm doing things wrong,I worked at this place longer than she has, I no what I'm doing,not great but it gets done. And sometimes I have a hard time at work w/ all my problems & meds it makes work hard.She is the only one that has a problem w/ me.Do I tell her off or just live w/ it?
Posted by kellyR. on November 15, 2000, at 21:43:42
In reply to Re: problems w/ co-worker---Kelly ??, posted by shar on November 13, 2000, at 8:14:55
> Kelly,
> I was wondering if you've tried to resolve this problem, and how it went?
>
> Shar
>
>
>
> > I seem to have a problem W/ one of my co-worker,she is always telling me that I'm doing things wrong,I worked at this place longer than she has, I no what I'm doing,not great but it gets done. And sometimes I have a hard time at work w/ all my problems & meds it makes work hard.She is the only one that has a problem w/ me.Do I tell her off or just live w/ it?I tried too but it don't work, she got more mad at me & on saturday at work we have to have 3 people to lift this one person & she came in the room all mad & lift without uses being ready,Now I"m on light duty because my back got hurt. So now I'm in lots of pain & she doesn't think it's her fault.
Posted by Noa on November 16, 2000, at 17:13:00
In reply to Re: problems w/ co-worker--- » shar, posted by kellyR. on November 15, 2000, at 21:43:42
Kelly,
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
how annoying!! Sorry you hurt your back. How about talking privately to a supervisor about all of this?
Posted by kellyR. on November 19, 2000, at 18:56:05
In reply to Re: problems w/ co-worker---, posted by Noa on November 16, 2000, at 17:13:00
> Kelly,
>
> GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
>
> how annoying!! Sorry you hurt your back. How about talking privately to a supervisor about all of this?Noa,
I Don't think I can do it now,Not been doing very well this last week.I been on light duty all this week & Have to see a Dr. on wed. for my back.
This is the end of the thread.
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