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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by shar on October 30, 2000, at 8:32:34
Rain,
I hope you are doing well, and had a few laughs at the party you went to.Please check in, and update (or, downdate as Coral said) us!
Take care,
Shar
Posted by Rainwoman on October 30, 2000, at 9:30:52
In reply to RAINWOMAN: How are you?, posted by shar on October 30, 2000, at 8:32:34
> Rain,
> I hope you are doing well, and had a few laughs at the party you went to.
>
> Please check in, and update (or, downdate as Coral said) us!
>
> Take care,
> SharHi Guys!
You won't believe it, but I actually am doing quite well. I went back to eating, vaguely wondering why I thought that was such a good idea. I'm actually eating a rice krispies bar as I "speak". So, go have a big mac Pullmarine! Let me tell you though, everything I have ever owned and not fit into since high school fits now. Last night Mr. "hands all over my butt" cooked me dinner too, mmm, german chocolate cake for dessert too. I actually really like him. The halloween party actually was fun. I went as the "one nightstand". My costume came out pretty good. I put a lampshade on my head with a flashlight in it, and made a circular cardboard "table" to go around my waist and I put condoms, a watch, a big ben clock, a remote, cigarettes and an an ashtray, a couple of strategically placed thigh highs. I had Paul, the guy I actualy kind of really like pin all these pairs of boxers and underwear to his chest, and he was a chest of drawers. A guy must really like you to do that for you, don't you think? All these people kept telling me in one fashion or another "We've been hoping that Paul would meet a nice girl like you" and then telling me how wonderful a person he is. We were up talking late last night and I am exhausted at work today. He doesn't know about my illnesses. I guess since I'm not so far down I just want to pretend I'm normal and can have a normal life. I know it will come back though. My meds aren't right yet. My pdoc is going to kill me when he finds out that I quit Celexa after just three days and didn't call him. It's so wierd how when I am really down I just hurt so much I don't care about anything except dying. Everything is just this huge effort. I don't want to tell Paul that, it is so awful. He seems to see me the way I wish I was. He told me he thinks that I'm funny, sweet, and a really good genuine person last night. He is just about everything I could want in a guy(not just because he said that, he's just kind, sweet, likes to do the things that I like to do when I actually can experience some form of pleasure). I feel like I am living a fantasy. How could I tell him that I can go so far down that the past three weeks I regarded not eating as just the greatest idea I ever had and lost 17 pounds before I stopped. I feel like it's not fair not to tell, but for once I want to enjoy the fantasy that I could be normal and even have a family of my own. I'm so tired of hurting all the time. I know this is all going to come crashing down on me. I know when it does I won't survive it. Too add that kind of hurt to the depression is unbelievably to scary to even contemplate. Ugh, just the thought is so alarming, I feel like I could barf up my rice krispies and cheese breakfast of champions. I want to just enjoy what I am feeling right now, but it's impossible when I have to keep aware of the fact that this is just temporary and I think I might need some kind of plan when it decides to reinvade my life. Geez, what a pain in the ass. Are you glad you asked Shar? Well I better get back and salvage what is left of my job. Thanks so much for caring you guys, I guess it does mean alot! Sorry about the long and totally randomly written post. I did take my ritalin today, but I seem to be all over the place still. I also seem to have some kind of affinity for the word "actually". Oh well, no time ot fix now!
Hope things are at least bearable for all of you!
Michele
Posted by coral on October 30, 2000, at 9:57:29
In reply to Re: RAINWOMAN: How are you?, posted by Rainwoman on October 30, 2000, at 9:30:52
" . . .when I have to keep aware of the fact that this is just temporary . . ." Rainwoman, please remember that temporary applies to both the bad and the good.
" . . . and I think I might need some kind of plan when it decides to reinvade my life." Yes, it's like a treasure trove in one's attic - will this work? For how long? What about this? Or that?
Your spirit is inspirational!!! Three days ago ( ONLY three days ago), I read of your agony and my heart cried out for your pain. At THAT time, I believed I was finally free of the abyss (second time in the pit for me). Today, you're munching on a good, ole' Rice Krispie with a new "beau" peeking around the corner (he must have very good taste in women), and I'm smashing my head into a brick wall, upping my meds and madly stomping at that damned bony hand that's gripped my ankle and trying to drag me back into the abyss. The stomping's a good idea, especially when I manage to miss ME and get IT.
CONGRATULATIONS!!!! I know it's easy to say "Enjoy the day" when you fear what's lurking around the next corner, but it's kind of like enjoying a summer's day, even when you suspect there's a storm coming. I am soooo happy for you!!!!!!! Thank you for sharing.
Posted by noa on October 30, 2000, at 11:53:42
In reply to Re: RAINWOMAN: Movin' up!!!, posted by coral on October 30, 2000, at 9:57:29
Rainwoman,
Can we save this post from you to re-post as a reminder, if you should ever be in a funk again, that the funks don't last?
Posted by shar on October 30, 2000, at 12:19:21
In reply to Re: RAINWOMAN: Movin' up!!!, posted by noa on October 30, 2000, at 11:53:42
xx
Posted by Rainwoman on October 31, 2000, at 15:31:33
In reply to Re: RAINWOMAN: Movin' up!!!, posted by noa on October 30, 2000, at 11:53:42
> Rainwoman,
>
> Can we save this post from you to re-post as a reminder, if you should ever be in a funk again, that the funks don't last?*Sigh* I know one can't be happy every day, I just wish that I didn't have to go so far down. Oh well, if wishes were pigs, bacon would be on sale every day!
Thnaks for the kind words,
Michele
Posted by pullmarine on October 31, 2000, at 23:18:01
In reply to Re: RAINWOMAN: Movin' up!!!, posted by Rainwoman on October 31, 2000, at 15:31:33
> > Rainwoman,
> >
> > Can we save this post from you to re-post as a reminder, if you should ever be in a funk again, that the funks don't last?
>
> *Sigh* I know one can't be happy every day, I just wish that I didn't have to go so far down. Oh well, if wishes were pigs, bacon would be on sale every day!
>
> Thnaks for the kind words,
> Michele
Posted by shar on November 2, 2000, at 10:36:44
In reply to Re: RAINWOMAN: Movin' up!!!, posted by Rainwoman on October 31, 2000, at 15:31:33
Rain,
How are you today? As most Babblers know, (including you), ups and downs at the beginning of a better period are not unusual. I'm wondering if you are doing ok, feel like you are improving, not improving, stable, etc.Would love an update.
Shar
Posted by Rainwoman on November 6, 2000, at 8:11:08
In reply to Rainwoman: How are you?, posted by shar on November 2, 2000, at 10:36:44
> Rain,
> How are you today? As most Babblers know, (including you), ups and downs at the beginning of a better period are not unusual. I'm wondering if you are doing ok, feel like you are improving, not improving, stable, etc.
>
> Would love an update.
>
> SharHi Shar--
Last week was great. Yesterday wasn't the best day in the world and today I'm not as well off as I was last week, but no where near where I was when I first started posting. Paul and I had our first tiff yesterday. I guess these things happen. It was sort of wierd tho. Thanks so much for asking Shar. How are you?Michele
Posted by shar on November 6, 2000, at 9:27:50
In reply to Re: Rainwoman: How are you?, posted by Rainwoman on November 6, 2000, at 8:11:08
Hi, Rain.
I'm glad to hear you are still beyond the abyss. What a relief!And, yes, tiffs do happen, and will continue to. It's one of the things that we can count on in relationships because we are 2 different people, with different views, different experiences in life, and (unfortunately) can't read each other's minds. So, a first tiff is a good thing to get over with, and see how it goes. (Did everyone get to talk? Did you say how you felt? Did anyone blame the other?) You can learn a lot from these things!
Anyhow, please keep us updated. You have made good progress, and it is wonderful to see. If you happen to take a few steps back now and then, that is usual, and shouldn't worry you too much. And, we are always around!!
Shar
This is the end of the thread.
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