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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by b2chica on January 25, 2012, at 14:42:48
im bouncing back and forth today between little and big.
i'm drugged up. think i took too much. pretty loopy.
i dont know what triggered me, other than under lot of stress at work.
i dont know if i can get it together tonight to be parent. have two sick kids.
and...
and, theres something about my oldest that scares me so much.
she's only 4 but she's an old soul. a sensitive. and sometimes when i look at her i feel dispair, like something bad is going to happen to her and i'm going to loose her. in fact that happened last night.
i looked at her and felt loss. an ache in my heart.
maybe i'm miss reading the ache. i'm used to only feeling bad stuff, and expecting bad things to happen.
but i cant have anything happen to her. i mean you dont understand what she means to me. shes the kinda girl that will go up to me for no reason and hug me for what feels like 5 min! just letting me hold her. and telling me how much she loves me.
last night i was helping her get her pajamas on and accidently moved her foot that her ankle hit the bottom of the bed, it hurt her. i apologized and she said...'thats ok mommy, i still love you'...:)
she is so full of love, but so sensitive. and she does have some medical issues like asthma ans severe food allergy.
it scares me.
My Dear God in Heaven how i love that child.
i ask, i beg, please dont take her from me...:('''
Posted by b2chica on January 26, 2012, at 13:39:38
In reply to no T, wanna talk, posted by b2chica on January 25, 2012, at 14:42:48
Posted by paisleygirl on January 26, 2012, at 16:00:40
In reply to no T, wanna talk, posted by b2chica on January 25, 2012, at 14:42:48
i'm sorry you're feeling badly...
i am too..
not sure what to say that would be comforting.
i hope that you feel better soon.
Posted by b2chica on January 26, 2012, at 17:12:28
In reply to Re: no T, wanna talk, posted by paisleygirl on January 26, 2012, at 16:00:40
nice to see one post. at least i realize i'm f-ing unintersting but whole fuc* wthell.
to introduce, i'm teen right now and very pissy. so i ve been told my others that your nice group. so i think i'll leave for now and talk when i am able to get the fu#k out of here. i cant seem to leave.
i'm the one that wants to buy the gun, i'm the onethat wants to get this overwith. but i have too many people in head telling me no.
so well see who wins this battle.i'm tired of the heartache, the pain. the utter emptyness. yet the great expansion of love that only seems to cause pain of the 'what if's' and the worries.
im high and need to leave.
bye suckers. smell ya later!
b.
Posted by sleepygirl2 on January 26, 2012, at 17:17:48
In reply to no T, wanna talk, posted by b2chica on January 25, 2012, at 14:42:48
FWIW
I heard your first post, but sucked at responding.
You sounded scared and sad and vulnerable.
and I relate to that, A LOT.
Posted by Phillipa on January 26, 2012, at 18:06:57
In reply to Re: no T, wanna talk » b2chica, posted by sleepygirl2 on January 26, 2012, at 17:17:48
I don't usually post on here this board. But I read your thread also. So you are being heard. And you are a Mother and wife with two lovely little girls. Are you working? Phillipa
Posted by papillon2 on January 27, 2012, at 3:11:29
In reply to Re: no T, wanna talk, posted by Phillipa on January 26, 2012, at 18:06:57
I don't think people are ignoring you, there's just not much activity on this board. I rarely think to check it, but I'm glad I did. I have been thinking of you today and I really hope you get some relief soon. Please take gentle care of yourself, just like you do with your precious daughter.
Posted by B2chica on January 27, 2012, at 15:40:21
In reply to Re: no T, wanna talk, posted by papillon2 on January 27, 2012, at 3:11:29
lsorry all. i was switching alot yesterday. i didnt even remember the post. i had to reread it and i apologize for my words.
i care for you and this place.
thank you for your kind words.my pdoc is now aware of the situation and i will meet with him as soon as i can.
Posted by papillon2 on January 29, 2012, at 0:46:26
In reply to Re: no T, wanna talk, posted by B2chica on January 27, 2012, at 15:40:21
Hey b2chicka, how are you doing today? Thinking of you.
Posted by b2chica on February 1, 2012, at 13:34:51
In reply to Re: no T, wanna talk, posted by papillon2 on January 29, 2012, at 0:46:26
thanks for the kind thoughts.
the dissociation seems to be gone but the depression still lingers.
talk on and off with pdoc. earliest is this friday. getting closer. but last week i thought he was going to try to get me in sooner but he didnt.
now its only two days away...
(wow just checked out there for a bit).
ok back.
i will see pdoc friday and figure this out. it looks like a med change which i'm kinda worried about. with two kiddos i cant go all weird like i have before with side effects.
i'm scared.
but i cant live with this ache in my heart either.i'm doped up on meds right now. kinda numbing me.
gotta run
b2c.
This is the end of the thread.
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