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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by floatingbridge on May 2, 2011, at 15:17:17
Hi, I don't post much here, but I know some of you are working your recovery very well and are parents.
I don't know what is wrong with me. I can't make myself get out of bed very often.
I need help, but don't know how or where. I'm scared. My docs don't know
how to treat me medically. My pdoc/
therapist was so frustrated with me that I didn't know how to get help, like having someone come over to help with housework. I want someone to spend
time with my 1st grade son. I'm becoming avoidant again, and the thought of calling and having someone over seems really big. Take him to parks and be cheerful with him. He's rattling around. I meet the bare minimum for him. In an hour, I steel myself to take him to play therapy which he loves.Something is wrong. I feel too challenged. When I think about being a mom, I feel not up to it. I dislike SI, and push it away, but lord, I wish I could just take myself out of the picture because I'm an albatross right now.
Not that anyone here can help. But has anyone here really been unable or feel unable to get out of bed and decently care for a dependent child?
Do I look for a part time nanny? I don't even know what this would be called.
I'm told to meditate, Qi gong, but I don't feel any optimism right now.
Did anyone here weather a period like this? If so, please tell me how.
Thank you.
fb
I am looking for a therapist for myself. And a school for my son. And an assessment for him. And the way to pay for this. And....
Posted by sigismund on May 2, 2011, at 17:39:01
In reply to perspective needed depression + parenting, posted by floatingbridge on May 2, 2011, at 15:17:17
>Did anyone here weather a period like this?
I know how to. With some of those things you are giving up. You are not being too radical about that?
Really, I'd take a damn Norco and half a Xanax and play with the kid (unless he etc etc), if you think that will do it for you.
Posted by floatingbridge on May 2, 2011, at 18:55:28
In reply to Re: perspective needed depression + parenting » floatingbridge, posted by sigismund on May 2, 2011, at 17:39:01
:-)
I'd sign you up in a heart beat.
The xanax is now, suddenly *ok*.
The norco, is now, suddenly *ok* at 10mg a day. And that's it. Like the edge of a cliff w/o a plan. Those two don't do it for me. You know, for despair, depression, fatigue, nor the pain.
I'd need to take alot of both. Then I'd become an idiot.
But this is the psych board....
People are about having a heart attack because I twisted my gp's arm for emsam. She began to tell me that maoi's don't work for anybody (!) and that food reactions made her mother 'psychotic-ish'. Oh. I thought. Your MOM was on nardil. Well lucky me.
Posted by Daisym on May 2, 2011, at 20:06:57
In reply to Re: perspective needed depression + parenting » sigismund, posted by floatingbridge on May 2, 2011, at 18:55:28
I am a parent educator so maybe I can help a little. Kids with depressed parents can have ongoing MH issues so I'm glad you have him in play therapy. It is important for him - and for you - to try to have a routine, as much as you can. He really doesn't need someone else to be cheerful with him. He needs you. I'll assume he is safe and is getting fed and bathed and stuff - right?
Can you commit to going for a walk with him every day? Start with 15 minutes - heck, start with 5 - but make a game of it and walk every day. Let him talk to you - you just have to walk along beside him. I know you don't want to - it feels so hard. But tell yourself you only have to go as far as you can and then you can turn around. 1 rule - you must make it all the way outside into the fresh air. Study after study shows exercise to be as effective as most medications - and it is a great way to "be" with your child without too much mental stress. Walking is easy. Most kids love it.
I hope this helps. I feel for you.
Posted by floatingbridge on May 2, 2011, at 21:53:42
In reply to Re: perspective needed depression + parenting » floatingbridge, posted by Daisym on May 2, 2011, at 20:06:57
Hi Daisy,
That's good practical advise. And small enough that I can muscle out of the house to do.
He is being bathed, clothed, fed, though not the best meals because cooking is so distasteful. Healthy enough, little junk or processed.
The very worst is not being able to meet his joy very often. I
feel like lead. I mean, he can make me laugh. That's good, but he is lonely. The guilt is tremendous.So a tiny walk each day. That would be big. It's difficult to go out. Like a magnetic field around the house. Difficult to go into the yard. It's very irrational :(
Thank you. I can do this. Thanks, too, for asking about my
son. His therapist says he's doing much better. My friends remark he's calmer. I think he's just growing up.I'm very concerned that I will contaminate him :( Maybe you understand.
fb
Posted by sigismund on May 2, 2011, at 22:35:25
In reply to Re: perspective needed depression + parenting » Daisym, posted by floatingbridge on May 2, 2011, at 21:53:42
>It's difficult to go out. Like a magnetic field around the house. Difficult to go into the yard. It's very irrational :(
Rational or not, it doesn't stop it being real. After Katrina I read about these dogs in NO swimming above their yard which they wouldn't leave because they had had those electric collars to show them the perimeter. They were drowning and couldn't leave. Someone heaved them into a boat and they collapsed.
Posted by Phillipa on May 3, 2011, at 19:41:53
In reply to Re: perspective needed depression + parenting » Daisym, posted by floatingbridge on May 2, 2011, at 21:53:42
FB Personally I feel your docs comment was out of place reguarding the Emsam. Thinking another doc for you. How far are you from Los Angeles as Robert David has a great doc in that area the one who believes that emsam is a wonderful med. He's a hour or so away I feel. Could look it up? Love Phillipa
Posted by floatingbridge on May 7, 2011, at 17:49:31
In reply to perspective needed depression + parenting, posted by floatingbridge on May 2, 2011, at 15:17:17
Well, I did start emsam, and after one bump, at least my mood is brighter. There is still much to do.
Yesterday I was able to take my son to our local swimming hole. That was very good. On the previous days, I made it out into the yard.
Daisy and all, thank you for writing.
Depression is hell and being a mom with depression can be like occupying the
center of Dante's Inferno. It's cold and lonely. People tend to get real quiet. I know there are books and articles, I mean, there must be, but I have great difficulty finding material that goes beyond the baby blues. Maybe it's just too yucky to contemplate; it certainly
wasn't in my game plan for parenting.Maybe emsam will be an AD that will bring me back a bit. I hope so. That and a good pain strategy.
At least life seems doable again. Admitting to needing help while being responsible for a young child is very difficult. Well, it was for me.
Thanks,
fb
Posted by sigismund on May 7, 2011, at 19:16:03
In reply to update, posted by floatingbridge on May 7, 2011, at 17:49:31
Can you sleep OK on Emsam?
Posted by floatingbridge on May 7, 2011, at 19:33:02
In reply to Re: update » floatingbridge, posted by sigismund on May 7, 2011, at 19:16:03
Only at half of 6mg. emsam. With my trusty xanax, .5 or 1.0 mg regular release and a little zanaflex. I dropped off like a stone two nights running.
Could be o.k. : J
Posted by Phillipa on May 7, 2011, at 20:12:33
In reply to Re: update » sigismund, posted by floatingbridge on May 7, 2011, at 19:33:02
That is great news!!!! So half patch. Custom dose for you. Love Phillipa
This is the end of the thread.
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