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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by annierose on March 30, 2011, at 20:12:04
Tomorrow will be my last session at my t's current office. She is moving her practice a few miles (in fact, a tad closer to me). I have been going there for (gulp) 7 years. When she annouced her move, I had no reaction. But now, as tomorrow looms, I'm surprisingly sad.
What complicates the move (IMO) my therapist is also having surgery the day after she moves. So I will see her in her new space next Monday, and then not again for three weeks. I think my sadness is getting mixed up with worry for her (although her surgery is not a risky procedure - just long recovery).
I'm feeling so much love for my therapist. It's a newer feeling that I can't put words to ... yet. Tomorrow will be good-bye to the office that came to be 'home'. It wasn't a very special place - but it was where she works. And now her new office will be in a group practice. She tried to describe the new office - where I would park, walk, the waiting room, her office, the furniture.
I guess on Monday I worry I will be flooded with emotions. The anxiety of a new office, the uncomfortableness of that is BIG enough. Pile on her surgery the following day, the long absence, I told her it might be better not to go. Of course, her opinion differed. "Won't coming help reduce your anxiety of what the new office will be like?"
She plans on calling me two weeks after the surgery and we might be able to skype a session if she is off pain medication. So that is nice and helpful.
Posted by Daisym on March 30, 2011, at 22:56:29
In reply to Last session at current office, posted by annierose on March 30, 2011, at 20:12:04
I think it will be important to allow yourself to feel the sadness and reminisce a bit about moments that are connected to this space. Over the past 7 years, where do you tend to look most often...and have you changed where you sit? I know for me, I have a way of "tracing" the ceiling when I'm really anxious so I know it really well. It will be different being in the waiting room of a group practice but I imagine she'll have more support, which is a good thing.
Three weeks is a long time. I'm sure you will miss her. Maybe you can do something special for yourself at those times - like get a massage or something.
Let us know how it goes and how you like the new office.
Posted by Dinah on March 31, 2011, at 18:59:10
In reply to Last session at current office, posted by annierose on March 30, 2011, at 20:12:04
Ugh. What bad timing.
I think perhaps they don't realize how disorienting a move can be.
Long term it'll probably work out, but short term won't be easy. Is there any way you can "anchor" your old vision of her when she's gone?
Posted by annierose on April 1, 2011, at 6:51:56
In reply to Re: Last session at current office » annierose, posted by Dinah on March 31, 2011, at 18:59:10
The last session at her (now) former office went really well. I took Daisy's advice and talked about some of the more funny moments and she added a few of her own that we shared (about the actual buidling ... for instance: the front steps crumbled just about every spring and fall and the landlord always had a cheap fix, time after time, season after season ... until finally the past fall he actually removed the 6 or 7 steps entirely and re-built properly).
And she talked more about the new space - this time I asked about the waiting room details and procedures.
She realized this week that I am really anxious over her surgery with not being able to see/talk to her for at least two weeks (depending upon recovery)... to know how she did through the surgery. How would I know if something horrible happened? etc. etc. She volunteered to text me after her surgery (once she is settled and everything) which will ease my worry a ton. This is a huge gift and very kind.
When time was up, I looked around the office and said, "Good-bye office." And t said, "I will see you at the new office on Monday," and with my back to her exiting, I said, "maybe, maybe not" and I could hear her laughing as I closed the door.
I liked that ending.
Speaking of endings and new beginnings ... how are you doing? feeling? anymore contact? any new thoughts? I've been thinking about you.
Posted by Dinah on April 1, 2011, at 8:34:57
In reply to Re: Last session at current office » Dinah, posted by annierose on April 1, 2011, at 6:51:56
I like that ending too. :)
I hope the things you like best about this office are things she adds to the next as well.
I did talk to him yesterday. It's a funny coincidence, but he'll be gone for a couple of weeks with orthoscopic surgery. I didn't ask for any reassurances, but he will contact me after he's up and around again. He really hasn't changed his position, I think, but he's making it less hurtful and that helps me detach. And I'm *starting* to almost think that he didn't mean to be so hurtful. That he was just uneasy and unsure of what to say or do.
I'm ok enough, except when I hear from him, or sit and relax. Then I get anxious and a bit teary. However, not at all frantic like I used to be.
I can't wait to hear about your therapist's new office. Is the building much different? My therapist went from a very old building with poured glass windows that gave a gentle watery cast to the light coming in and the world looking out, to a modern skyrise with all sharp angles. And changed his decor to match (apart from his chairs and sofa), with a very angular art deco. It was a jarring change, particularly since my therapist, like his old office, is anything but angular. On the other hand, I do like the waiting room better now. It's more impersonal.
Posted by emmanuel98 on April 6, 2011, at 19:45:44
In reply to Re: Last session at current office » annierose, posted by Dinah on April 1, 2011, at 8:34:57
My therapist moved her office (not far, just about a mile away). I brought her a decoupage I had made as an office-warming present. When I got to the building, it was all Victorian Kitsch. I was afraid my decoupage (very spare, done in oranges and yellows) would clash. As it turned out, her office was painted yellow with straw rugs. It was so much bigger and nicer than her old office. And the decoupage fit perfectly.
Posted by annierose on April 8, 2011, at 8:05:28
In reply to Re: Last session at current office, posted by emmanuel98 on April 6, 2011, at 19:45:44
So did your therapist hang up your lovely gift? It must have made you feel so happy inside if she did ... I'd smile every time I would see it. I struggled and struggled to think of an "office-warming" gift. And came up empty-brained-idea.
Since she was having surgery and would be hospitalized for two nights plus a long recovery, I decided to give her a "recovery box of smiles". I included some random items in the box as well as a few nice things: a good book, really nice candle, wind up toy, chocolate, mints, puzzle book, etc. I would not let her open it in front of me, so I'll never know if she liked it or not.
I liked her new office for the most part. It feels like her since it's all her same stuff. The shape of the office is more square, less rectangle and the most awkward part ... I look at her at a different angle. Funny how that threw me. And I'm physically closer to her too which is un-nerving for me. The down side of the office: hallway noise. I can hear chatter from the other therapists in the shared office space and doors opening and shutting. Huge distraction. Before, she had her own office space so the only noise I heard was from traffic. I think the traffic is better than humans talking.
I won't be back again for at least 3 weeks. But she did send me a text the day after her surgery letting me know she was okay and doing good.
Posted by Dinah on April 8, 2011, at 9:19:52
In reply to Re: Last session at current office » emmanuel98, posted by annierose on April 8, 2011, at 8:05:28
I'm glad that you like the office well enough.
My therapist's move brought him to a place where you could hear people moving about through the walls as well. I think that was part of why I spoke quietly. It *is* disconcerting. Maybe she could get a better white noise machine?
I also understand the space problem. Wherever my therapist and I met was relatively unimportant (after the first office), but the space between us was very important. Too far and there's a disconnect. Too close and it feels disconcerting.
My therapist's surgery was yesterday. It was hard not to feel anxious knowing I won't hear anything from him. No appointments scheduled, no formal termination, but no expectations of hearing how he's doing. I'm glad she told you she's doing well. (And that was so thoughtful of you!)
Posted by emmanuel98 on April 8, 2011, at 19:02:56
In reply to Re: Last session at current office » emmanuel98, posted by annierose on April 8, 2011, at 8:05:28
She hung it and it looks perfect for her space. I also gave her, a couple of years ago, a decoupaged tissue box with Japanese style flowers and prints. She uses that on her side table. I gave one to my p-doc as well, this with all Modigliani prints, since I know he likes Modigliani. He kept it on his side table for a long time, then suddenly is disappeared. I asked him what happened to it and he laughed and said his office mate (he shares an office, since he is semi-retired and only in 2 days a week) must have moved it. Then he said he was glad I asked. I tend to keep things inside and just worry -- he doesn't like me anymore, I'm seeing him less often, so he's moving me out of his life, etc.
The next time I saw him, it was back again.
Posted by emmanuel98 on April 8, 2011, at 19:04:44
In reply to Re: Last session at current office » annierose, posted by Dinah on April 8, 2011, at 9:19:52
I see a therapist in a building full of therapists. They all have white noise machines outside of their offices, on the floor. I never hear a thing from other offices.
Posted by annierose on April 8, 2011, at 22:06:47
In reply to Re: Last session at current office, posted by emmanuel98 on April 8, 2011, at 19:04:44
In my heart, I believe my therapist is very sensitive to what her clients perceive to be difficulties in the new space. She only worked there one day before her three week absence. So I doubt she has received much feedback - - - yet.
How nice that your therapist and p-doc displayed and used your art pieces. I admired your courage to ask what happened to your kleenex container. I would have wondered too ... but would have been too chicken to ask.
Dinah: sorry that you are in limbo --- especially during your t's surgery. It was a relief for me to hear from her. Sometimes she surprises me. I wish your therapist would surprise you in a wonderful way too ... instead of the other way around.
This is the end of the thread.
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