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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 25 of 51. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Daisym on October 27, 2009, at 2:04:00
Please do not twitter or facebook this post.
To all my Babble friends,
I find myself posting less and less these days. Maybe I'm healthier or maybe I'm just busier...who knows? I just don't have that much to say right now. But I still read every night and hold you all in my thoughts, heart and prayers. But given the changes, now seems the right time to completely stop posting and just say good-bye.
It feels like a million years ago that I found Babble. I was new to therapy and new to talking about my trauma. So many, many people here helped me. I can honestly say I went through several "Dark nights of the soul" -- but my friends here understood and pulled me up and out. I will always be so grateful - and I love all of you for that. I need to especially acknowledge some of my original supports: Fallsfall, All Done, Annie Rose, Dinah, Garden Girl, Antigua, Muffled, Tender, Racer, Aphrodite, Tamar, Zen...there are so many, I'm sure I'm forgetting some - please, please don't be insulted or upset if I've left your name off the list. It is late and hard to think through all the emotions. And to Emmy (or is that ie?) --for taking a pbc for me and for telling me the story of her mom at the exact right moment. I've never forgotten - I never will. You'll never know the profound impact it had on me.
*sigh* Anyone who knows me, knows I'm not good at good-bye.
It's just that this isn't the right place for me anymore. Twitter and Facebook? I don't think so. I've always known that this was a public place - but this feels vastly different - it is too easy to just casually send things along - to move my words to someone who isn't even a member, who doesn't know the rules and who didn't even take the time to sign on. The community here has always felt drawn together by a shared pain. This is no more. Now our deep felt words, the ones we struggled with and agonized over in order to convey our feelings in just the right way, are just part of the insatiable voyeurism of the outside world.
I know it shouldn't feel that different. But it does. I feel let down, betrayed in some sense. I also totally can understand wanting something you created, like Babble, to be famous, or to make money. Wide distribution will do both. I can only choose for me when the rules change. So I'm choosing to leave. I'll still lurk in the corners, hoping things will change back.
With much love and wishes for a peaceful future for all,
Daisy
Posted by 10derHeart on October 27, 2009, at 4:24:06
In reply to good-bye, posted by Daisym on October 27, 2009, at 2:04:00
He has disabled both buttons (don't know why or what it means, but they do not work) - if that helps.
Ican't say more b/c i would get too emotional.
Actually, I can't even read your whole post...just skimmed when I saw what you were about to say....I can't stand it...too hard to read with all the water blocking my vision...
Daisy....
Posted by Dinah on October 27, 2009, at 6:17:03
In reply to good-bye, posted by Daisym on October 27, 2009, at 2:04:00
I'm so sorry, Daisy. But I totally understand. You've enriched Babble so much by making yourself vulnerable here. It makes me sick to my stomach (and you know I do not say that lightly) to see this happen to you. I totally understand your not feeling safe to be here.
But you know where I am, and I'd be heartbroken to lose touch with you completely. Please keep in touch? Off board, where it's safe.
{I request that no one tweet or link any of my posts without asking me first.}
Posted by seldomseen on October 27, 2009, at 8:03:06
In reply to good-bye, posted by Daisym on October 27, 2009, at 2:04:00
I have valued your contributions here as you shared your journey to recovery.
I wish for you peace, happiness and love.
Take good good good care of yourself.
Seldom.
Posted by pegasus on October 27, 2009, at 9:59:01
In reply to good-bye, posted by Daisym on October 27, 2009, at 2:04:00
Dear Daisy,
I don't even know where to begin in thanking you for your presence here. You've given me (us) a universe of wisdom that I can't imagine having access to anywhere else. Sharing your own experience was an enormous part of that, and I will never forget so many things that you said here. I have also learned so much from the way you've approached your therapy and situations on this board. And from your therapist. You have given me a better, richer education than I've received anywhere else. It has all been solid gold.
I came here many years ago, in pain and confused, struggling to find someone who understood, and a way forward. I found all of that, and I found people I care about, respect and admire. I have always been so touched that you remember me throughout the years, even though I've never been a big poster. Today I am in love with my life, in no small part because of what I received here, from you. I have clients of my own, and at times I know I'm channeling your therapist with them. And even more important, I see them through your eyes (as I interpret that), often with a vastly larger understanding of their pain. I call it putting my Daisy glasses on. Aside from my own therapy experiences, they're my most important therapy tool. I wish I could share them with every therapist in the world.
Daisy, from the bottom of my heart, thank you. Whatever happens in the future, I will never forget you, and will hold you in my heart.
Peg
Posted by elizabeth31 on October 27, 2009, at 11:27:14
In reply to good-bye, posted by Daisym on October 27, 2009, at 2:04:00
aww i'm sorry to see you say goodbye :( although i've only recently gotten a chance to get to know you, I really appreciated having your support and you made me feel welcome and you helped me realize that there are indeed nice people out there i could talk to--so thank you for reaching out to me:) I'm sad to think you're leaving now, but at the same time I just wanted to wish you well and let you know i'm truly happy for you as you're in a much better place now and the ultimate goal is for you to not need the support we give...so, i think this could be a great opportunity for you in your life and who knows what your future holds for you! xoxo
"all endings are also beginnings. we just don't know it at the time..."
Posted by rskontos on October 27, 2009, at 11:55:23
In reply to good-bye, posted by Daisym on October 27, 2009, at 2:04:00
helped me over the years so much. I too will miss all. I feel just like you said, you say it better than I .
I will miss your insight and wisdom. I too found this place when I was at a dark place in my life and through so many on this site I found some sanity. I found help and support. Often times, early on I was trying to make a connection with my p-doc/therapist and the wonderful people here helped me to make that trust connection to someone I needed to trust. I thank you.
I too don't come here often anymore. I feel it is because I feel betrayed. Like a experiment to Dr Bob while everyone here is so supportive but the overall tone of the website now is not ours to try and keep whole. It is time for goodbyes. It breaks my heart though.
Take care and I wish you all the best. I will miss you:)
rsk
Posted by rskontos on October 27, 2009, at 11:59:17
In reply to Re:Oh Daisym, I will miss you so much you have.. » Daisym, posted by rskontos on October 27, 2009, at 11:55:23
things everyone said to you. They are all true and I agree 100%. You will missed. I don't know how you got so wise but you put yourself out there and we all learn from your journey here.
I often wished I could meet your therapist. Thank you for sharing to us what you did. You don't know how many lives you helped just by being here and being you.
thank you and bless you
rsk
And to everyone else that posted. Your thoughts are echoed. I appreciate you all too.
Posted by Dinah on October 27, 2009, at 18:59:31
In reply to good-bye, posted by Daisym on October 27, 2009, at 2:04:00
Does the (2) in front of the Facebook icon mean that two people have used the link against Daisy's expressed wishes?
And the (1) in front of the Facebook icon on my post mean that one person has used the link against my expressed wishes?
Can somewhere familiar with these services please tell me if this is what the numbers mean? Can I discover who has done this?
Posted by jane d on October 27, 2009, at 19:36:15
In reply to Re: good-bye, posted by Dinah on October 27, 2009, at 18:59:31
> Does the (2) in front of the Facebook icon mean that two people have used the link against Daisy's expressed wishes?
>
> And the (1) in front of the Facebook icon on my post mean that one person has used the link against my expressed wishes?
>The counter seems to increment when you click on the icon even if you then exit out without posting a link. I just caused the counter to increment to five in the process of testing this. I'm choosing to assume that someone just wanted to see what the icon did and that nothing was posted. And I hope that my carelessly using this post for those experiments didn't cause anyone to feel abused. If I had any sense at all I would have used another post. Sorry Daisy.
jane
Posted by annierose on October 27, 2009, at 19:43:45
In reply to The facebook counter, posted by jane d on October 27, 2009, at 19:36:15
After 10der wrote that Bob disabled the icons, I, too, clicked on them to see if that was true ... and it wasn't the case. Of course, I exited without linking for 1,000,000,000,000+ reasons. So it might have been me that set that counter to one - I apologize.
I wonder if you "opt out" it disables only that poster from using the hyperlinks, but other posters who do not "opt out" - the links remain active. I don't know.
I am so sad that Bob is slowly destroying this forum. We write about our most private thoughts that few would understand but each other.
Posted by Dinah on October 27, 2009, at 19:59:42
In reply to Re: The facebook counter » jane d, posted by annierose on October 27, 2009, at 19:43:45
I'm glad that it's entirely possible that all of the numbers were from those who didn't choose to link.
(Annierose, the opt out list is entirely voluntary and protects posters from nothing except Dr. Bob's own tweets.)
I'm sorry to have alarmed anyone. I'm just figuring this out myself.
Posted by 10derHeart on October 27, 2009, at 20:06:22
In reply to Re: The facebook counter » jane d, posted by annierose on October 27, 2009, at 19:43:45
Sorry. Mine were and are still disabled. I have rebooted and tried both Firefox and IE - still non-working buttons. I cannot make the numbers increase by playing around clicking on them either.
I really thought they were. I shouldn't have assumed Dr. Bob would have disabled them. I can be overly optimistic at times :-(
How ironic since I would be the last,last, last person on earth to use the **** things anyway.
Posted by annierose on October 27, 2009, at 21:29:19
In reply to Re: The facebook counter » annierose, posted by 10derHeart on October 27, 2009, at 20:06:22
No worries ... we are all trying to figure out the new rules and deciding if we are able to participate in this new environment.
Posted by Dr. Bob on October 28, 2009, at 2:07:04
In reply to good-bye, posted by Daisym on October 27, 2009, at 2:04:00
> I know it shouldn't feel that different. But it does. I feel let down, betrayed in some sense. I also totally can understand wanting something you created, like Babble, to be famous, or to make money. Wide distribution will do both. I can only choose for me when the rules change. So I'm choosing to leave. I'll still lurk in the corners, hoping things will change back.
I'm sorry I let you down. I hope you can also understand motivations besides fame and fortune. In case you're not aware, there's a long thread about the new buttons at Psycho-Babble Administration:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20090813/msgs/922824.html
Please do what's right for you. You've obviously meant a lot to others here, and I think you still have a lot to offer to them -- and to Facebook and Twitter users who are also real people who can benefit from support and education. I'm glad you're not leaving completely!
Bob
Posted by Cecilia on October 28, 2009, at 3:39:02
In reply to Re: it shouldn't feel that different, but it does, posted by Dr. Bob on October 28, 2009, at 2:07:04
I'm confused. Where do these links and tweets go? To Dr. Bob's pages on Facebook and Twitter or to the pages of the person who linked them? Either way, if it's somebody elses' message it's a total invasion of privacy. Cecilia
Posted by Deneb on October 28, 2009, at 4:09:43
In reply to I'm confused, posted by Cecilia on October 28, 2009, at 3:39:02
I've tried the buttons on my own posts. They post to my own Facebook and Twitter accounts.
Anyone reading Babble can link any message to their Facebook or Twitter account. This has always been the case though, just now there are buttons for it.
Posted by BayLeaf on October 28, 2009, at 6:18:15
In reply to Re: it shouldn't feel that different, but it does, posted by Dr. Bob on October 28, 2009, at 2:07:04
"You've obviously meant a lot to others here, and I think you still have a lot to offer to them" - Bob
Bob, I'm sure you've read Daisy's posts all these years too. I wish you had phrased that differently. I'm sure her posts hit your heart as some point too. And I'm sure you have gained from them as well. She has a lot to teach YOU. YOU have lost out by losing her as a poster and a teacher. She has much to teach everyone about how to treat people with empathy, care, and kindness.
Posted by Poet on October 28, 2009, at 11:53:40
In reply to good-bye, posted by Daisym on October 27, 2009, at 2:04:00
Hi Daisy,
I haven't been around much lately, either, but not for reasons of privacy. I don't twitter or facebook and if I expressed my true opinion about them I'd be blocked for life.
Goodbye Daisy. You can always babblemail me. I will miss your therapy experiences and once again you are brave to have faced those childhood demons.
Poet
Posted by TherapyGirl on October 28, 2009, at 19:53:30
In reply to good-bye, posted by Daisym on October 27, 2009, at 2:04:00
Daisy, I will miss you more than you could know. You have been so helpful to me on so many different levels.
I'm not enjoying the changes here either and it's just one more thing I'm losing along with my T. So I get it. I just hate it.
Love you!
Posted by muffled on October 28, 2009, at 19:54:59
In reply to Re: good-bye » Daisym, posted by Poet on October 28, 2009, at 11:53:40
Hey Daisy, I left too, but I still peek in, and judging by the names I see here, others do too.
So maybe not goodbye, but kinda, I'll see ya around sometime?
I cannot but wonder if there is another place we could gather?
I have another place I hang out, and the people are sweet there, but after the probs with babble I try and keep a certain distance. I don't want to get connected and have to leave.
So I hope I will see you around sometime.
Thats why I leave my babblemail on. Not cuz I want to babblemail, I don't(my trust issues). But then if ever there is a gathering elsewhere, maybe someone will let me know.
Thanks for the sharing you did, you are an amazing woman and I have the deepest respect for you. I am glad you were a part of my world for the time we had here. I am the richer for it.
Just I hope you can know, all parts of you, ALL of you are important and special.
Best wishes, see you around,
Muffled
Posted by BayLeaf on October 28, 2009, at 20:29:40
In reply to Re: it shouldn't feel that different, but it does, posted by BayLeaf on October 28, 2009, at 6:18:15
Posted by Daisym on October 29, 2009, at 0:36:14
In reply to Re: it shouldn't feel that different, but it does, posted by Dr. Bob on October 28, 2009, at 2:07:04
hank you taking the time to write. No apology necessary - I know this isn't personal. And I meant no disrespect with the fame and fortune comment - nothing wrong with wanting that. As someone who started and has grown an agency that helps people, I really do understand the motivation behind wanting to reach more people and to expand your "services" if you will.
That said - I guess one of the things that bothers me is that "those" people don't have to play by the rules I do. By being a member here, I've agreed to follow certain rules and to be civil - at least as much as possible. And I try to give to others while also seeking out their support. Those outside this circle just get to take.
It is all very complicated, I think we all agree on that. Maybe I'm just too old for this instant world - I mean, look - I use whole sentences and punctuation. That dates me right there. I thought finding a support group in cyber-space was so forward-thinking. Now it seems that it isn't enough to log in and read and post. Everything has to be forcibly shared with others.
A wise friend told me that nothing that happens in the future can take away the good we've already done. The same is true here. Nothing that happens in the future will change the value that has existed for me from Babble. I can't imagine how things would have gone for me if I hadn't stumbled onto this site. For that I will always be eternally grateful to you, Bob, for making this place available to me. I hope that running things is still fun and fulfilling.
Posted by Cecilia on October 29, 2009, at 3:39:12
In reply to Re: I'm confused » Cecilia, posted by Deneb on October 28, 2009, at 4:09:43
I still don't get it. Why would people want to post some anonymous person's posts to their own twittter or facebook pages? Are they trying to pass them off as their own or what? Cecilia
Posted by 10derHeart on October 29, 2009, at 4:27:54
In reply to Still confused, posted by Cecilia on October 29, 2009, at 3:39:12
I don't think that's a reason, as I have only seen links from anyone who uses Twitter to post Tweets leading people to other places. But - I know nothing of Facebook so can't say how it works over there. But I'm basically with you in that I really don't understand the "why" except in the case of someone such as Dr. Bob, who does this, I guess to hopefully bring new posters to Babble:
http://twitter.com/psycho_babel
and even does some on his personal Twitter page:
He is editing the posts he Retweeted to include a synopsis of what the poster wrote about, which I guess could help Google hits? and/or let his followers know whether they want to surf over to PB and start reading the thread?? I'm just making guesses here - no special insight into Dr. Bob's mind, trust me.
I can't imagine why others who are not Babblers would really be doing it either. I don't always have the greatest imagination, though. People do a lot of stuff I would never think of/imagine/enjoy and so forth.
Maybe to....
show friends/family (and followers they do not know in the case of Twitter (don't know Facebook rules) who follow them: " look what I read...." for good and helpful reasons (linking to med info, support info) or bad reasons (whoa! the people at this forum are whacked!)
Deneb Tweets **just** her own posts like this:
She has stated some reasons in her posts here, but I can't remember exactly.
The overall trouble is, people feel violated that Dr. Bob would make it easier to create a link, and some (see Admin) are quite upset he Twittered the link to a poster who recently had an actual suicide plan/near attempt, for various reasons I won't try to restate (see Admin)
That's all I know, and it ain't much.
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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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