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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Ladybelle31 on August 9, 2009, at 18:53:20
I have been having a hard time identifying with words my feelings of attachment towards my therapist-I know this sounds stupid but I can't figure out if I'm viewing him as a father or a boyfriend/husband figure. He's probably 20 years older than me and is happily married with two
kids, but he doesn't look at all like my dad. He's cute and and attractive looking and I admit I like dressing up and looking pretty at our appointments--but its not really sexually driven and I'm a Catholic--I guess my question to others is if anyone has any insight on why I am having a difficult time recognizing my feelings with him as either being in love with him or wanting him to be my father, so I can confront them in therapy and move on in a healthy way.
Posted by maxime on August 9, 2009, at 19:55:13
In reply to Attraction to therapist?, posted by Ladybelle31 on August 9, 2009, at 18:53:20
I think you should talk to him about it. He would probably be able to help you the most.
Posted by Ladybelle31 on August 9, 2009, at 20:32:58
In reply to Re: Attraction to therapist? » Ladybelle31, posted by maxime on August 9, 2009, at 19:55:13
> I think you should talk to him about it. He would probably be able to help you the most.
Thanks for advice. I am planning on doing that, but since he's away on vacation the next week that was why I was turning to this support group for additional help outside of therapy. I am a new member and found your comment confusing as I had thought the point of posting was to talk to other people and not simply be told to go talk to their therapist. Sorry if I bothered anyone else!
Posted by gibbons482 on August 9, 2009, at 21:14:36
In reply to Attraction to therapist?, posted by Ladybelle31 on August 9, 2009, at 18:53:20
I don't have any advice for you, but I wanted to let you know I'm in the same boat, but unlike you, I'm terrified to talk to the person about it. I'm glad you feel comfortable enough to address this with your therapist when he gets back.
gibbons
PS-I felt the same way when I started posting here a week or two ago, and still do. You're not alone in that.
Posted by emilyp on August 9, 2009, at 21:43:29
In reply to Attraction to therapist?, posted by Ladybelle31 on August 9, 2009, at 18:53:20
My understanding that is transference can involve more than one person - even at the same time. And it is not hard to imagine that in certain circumstances, depending on what you are dealing with in your life and what you are talking about with your therapist, that you can feel as if the transference is your father and then in other cases you feel as if he is more of a romantic interest. Yes, in some cases a transference is a particular person. But I think that transference also involves emotions and intangibles as it relates to others not just a specific person.
Posted by Dinah on August 9, 2009, at 21:43:30
In reply to Attraction to therapist?, posted by Ladybelle31 on August 9, 2009, at 18:53:20
I think sometimes the best support we can give is to encourage people to talk to their therapists.
That being said, have you read the book "In Session"? I found it enormously helpful in helping me figure out what I wasn't feeling for my therapist, which helped me figure out what I did feel for him.
Perhaps you feel some mix of emotions for him? Are you reluctant to tell him about a sexual attraction? I have to admit that I didn't feel comfortable enough to talk to my therapist about things until I'd sorted them out a bit in my own mind.
Posted by Dinah on August 9, 2009, at 21:44:46
In reply to Re: Attraction to therapist? » Ladybelle31, posted by Dinah on August 9, 2009, at 21:43:30
Posted by sassyfrancesca on August 10, 2009, at 14:20:04
In reply to Re: Attraction to therapist?, posted by Ladybelle31 on August 9, 2009, at 20:32:58
Hi.....I have no answers but I fell in love with my t five years ago (we are alike in over 30 different ways)...long story how I know that, LOL, LOL
I have read that the therapy room is the only place we call love by another name...transference......
Unless a t reminds you of someone in the past, it is simply....FEELINGS.
I could write a book on what has transpired between me and my t, but won't here....You may want to consider talking to your t if you feel comfortable; if he/she has been a t for a long time; then they are familiar with clients having feelings of love for them....it is a normal thing to happen; sometimes the feelings are very powerful (as in my case....5 years....ouch)
Please keep writing or send me a private note.
Hugs, Sassy
Posted by moonshadow on August 10, 2009, at 19:36:14
In reply to Re: Attraction to therapist? » Ladybelle31, posted by sassyfrancesca on August 10, 2009, at 14:20:04
I think it can definitely be a mix. Knowing that you won't act on it may make it easier for you to have those romantic feelings. There's nothing that says you can't see your T as a father in one instance, and as a lover in another.
Posted by backseatdriver on August 24, 2009, at 6:54:44
In reply to Re: Attraction to therapist?, posted by moonshadow on August 10, 2009, at 19:36:14
Just wanted to second the posters who've pointed out that transference can be multiple. I've had the bewildering experience of seeing my T as mother and father, alternating. It can be confusing.
This is the end of the thread.
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