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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 25 of 27. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by obsidian on March 28, 2009, at 12:12:39
anyone else experience a lot of that?
when I was a teenager I created a person in my head that I'd always talk to. It wasn't a particular someone, but different people at different times..I'd imagine the answers they'd give me if I asked them questions. Like Judd Hirsch in Ordinary People, or the guardian angel from "It's a Wonderful Life". and there were a couple of clergy members when I was in catholic school, but I imagined that what they'd say and it generally sounded pretty harsh and a bit cold
which reminds me of a poem I wrote a long time ago...lol, it's called 'pastoral counseling', let me see if I can find it...
"pastoral counseling"
how could you understand?
protect me, respect me
if God was all you knew?
there is no higher power here
just a blankness and an aching
without meaning, without reason
you're so very far away
I don't know you
I can't show you
all my fears, cause it's been years
it's all I am, and you're a sham
Posted by obsidian on March 28, 2009, at 12:17:22
In reply to internal conversations...., posted by obsidian on March 28, 2009, at 12:12:39
the point is, if you haven't yet sighed and clicked onto something else, that I spent a lot of time, maybe 15-25?? having almost constant conversations, that were my version of thoughts.
when I started therapy for a long time I wasn't talking much to my therapist, but I was having a lot of imaginary conversations with him in my headjust wondering if anyone does that? or did that?
Posted by Phillipa on March 28, 2009, at 12:47:01
In reply to lame post trigger..., posted by obsidian on March 28, 2009, at 12:17:22
Sid to me they are thoughts. I imagine what I would like to say to my kids, doctors, people, husband, kind of like planning. To me they are thoughts. Love Phillipa
Posted by Sigismund on March 28, 2009, at 15:21:13
In reply to Re: lame post trigger... » obsidian, posted by Phillipa on March 28, 2009, at 12:47:01
When I was much younger that was quite strong. I'd have a conversation with someone about another conversation I'd had with someone else and it would go on and on in my head, wheels within wheels. It may have reflected my family of origin....lot's of talk, hidden meanings and not a lot of easy affection.
Posted by desolationrower on March 28, 2009, at 19:10:28
In reply to Re: lame post trigger..., posted by Sigismund on March 28, 2009, at 15:21:13
i will often 'replay' conversation in my head, only fixing them so it is how i think i should have engaged in the coversation. saying more, being more personal. some combination of trying to change how i act in coversation even though in the moment i can't actually spare any brain power to do that, and not wanting memories of badly done interactions
-d/r
Posted by Dinah on March 29, 2009, at 9:18:16
In reply to internal conversations...., posted by obsidian on March 28, 2009, at 12:12:39
Absolutely!
Judd Hirsch would be a great choice by the way. I loved him as a therapist in Ordinary People. He was pretty good as a confidante in Taxi too.
In fact I still imagine conversations with my therapist, and as my therapist says the therapist in my head is sometimes better than the therapist in the room.
I'd say it was completely normal. But I must confess I'm no measure for normal. I also had a rich imaginary life where I was someone loosely based on myself. Very loosely. Definitely better.
As for pastoral counselors, as you may know many people here have them and they aren't necessarily all that overtly religious. I think even if my view of God wasn't a positive one, that I would be comfortable going to many of them. I know that sounds odd, but even among the priests I knew, some were far more likely to reference God than others. And none were overly likely to do it. Maybe that's a New Orleans thing. Although I must confess that the scariest priest I knew never referred to God outside a Mass in my hearing. I always had the vague assumption they weren't on speaking terms.
Posted by jouezmoi on March 29, 2009, at 19:13:46
In reply to internal conversations...., posted by obsidian on March 28, 2009, at 12:12:39
Obsidian, that is a good sign. It means that you have internalised your T to the extent that he/ she does not need to be there physically for you to be able to connect to your thoughts and feelings. It is a normal progression and means that you are making good headway.
Posted by seldomseen on March 29, 2009, at 20:13:10
In reply to internal conversations...., posted by obsidian on March 28, 2009, at 12:12:39
Honestly, I think if my therapist knew how often I talk to him outside of our sessions, he would charge me a lot more.
As Dinah indicated, I do maintain an internal dialogue, both with myself, and with my therapist.
As internal therapists go, I would put Judd Hirsch high on the list. Also harvey fierstein for some odd reason. Of course, Gabriel Byrne (even before the days of "In treatment") would make a dynamite internal therapist.
It's nice to carry someone with me - famous or not.
Seldom
Posted by 10derHeart on March 30, 2009, at 0:12:44
In reply to internal conversations...., posted by obsidian on March 28, 2009, at 12:12:39
constantly, all day long with my therapist. He's internalized, alright.
Sometimes......it kinda makes me cry as it seems so comfortable, real and close and like he's some sort of special family member that goes everywhere with me :-( {nope >> 2000 miles away and has own family, not including me}
Sometimes, it makes me smile as it seems so comfortable, real and close, and like he's some sort of special family member that goes everywhere with me :-) {2000 miles away but stays SO connected and cares a lot about me}
Therapy is so confusing, wonderful and terrible.
But I do get the internal conversations...and I have them with other people, too, real, famous, imaginary....all sorts. It often feels like I am rehearsing for something, even if that thing could never and will never happen.
I'll bet it's pretty common...
Posted by B2chica on March 31, 2009, at 10:24:09
In reply to internal conversations...., posted by obsidian on March 28, 2009, at 12:12:39
all the time. for as long as i can remember.
though i've always felt isolated and rejected so i've never brought 'someone' else into the picture. the conversations are with my selves. maybe that's where my DDNOS started from?
but i ask or comment and sometimes soon, sometimes later i get responses back.
i think it also has to do with the topics. many times i never felt i could talk to people about the things i was interested in. philosopy, math, science...so it was just me.maybe that's also what feeds my depression and being isolated. its just so much easier and comfortable to be 'in my head' than to have to socialize and talk about stuff in which i have no interest, like recipes, and weather, or gossip.
"still inside my own head"
b2c.
Posted by rskontos on March 31, 2009, at 17:27:25
In reply to lame post trigger..., posted by obsidian on March 28, 2009, at 12:17:22
Oh obsidian,
I have told my therapist repeatedly that the conversations I have with him, the sessions, go much better in my head than with him. I just can't seem to say what I need or want to when I am with him. Maybe because he gets me off track with questions.
So yes I most certainly do.
rsk
ps. Not a lame post at all.
Posted by rskontos on March 31, 2009, at 17:40:55
In reply to Re: internal conversations.... » obsidian, posted by B2chica on March 31, 2009, at 10:24:09
>>"still inside my own head" b2c.>>>>
Hey,
I am with you. Sometimes I think I like living my head better. It sometimes takes my family forever to get me to listen to them because I am in my head. I never really get lonely there either.
rsk
Posted by Sigismund on March 31, 2009, at 18:15:04
In reply to Re: internal conversations.... » B2chica, posted by rskontos on March 31, 2009, at 17:40:55
Conversations that are a product of an overactive mind are better for me than feelings that weigh on the heart and can not be put into words easily.
Oh we are profound this morning.
There's a conversation.
Posted by obsidian on March 31, 2009, at 18:43:31
In reply to Re: internal conversations...., posted by Sigismund on March 31, 2009, at 18:15:04
I guess these conversations in my head are about having a way to talk about those feelings that weigh on the heart
but I don't get to have these conversations out loud
but they are there in my art stuff
Posted by obsidian on March 31, 2009, at 18:48:59
In reply to Re: lame post trigger... » obsidian, posted by rskontos on March 31, 2009, at 17:27:25
I have (a time or two) written down my internal conversations with my therapist and then I brought it into my therapy
I would give him the paper and then look away
I'd watch him read it to see if he'd freak out or something
and that way I can start to say what I need to
I haven't really tried to say something really uncomfortable in a while
Posted by obsidian on March 31, 2009, at 18:50:20
In reply to Re: internal conversations.... » obsidian, posted by B2chica on March 31, 2009, at 10:24:09
I am so in my head...it drives me crazy
Posted by obsidian on March 31, 2009, at 18:51:43
In reply to Re: internal conversations.... » obsidian, posted by 10derHeart on March 30, 2009, at 0:12:44
I'm sorry you miss him so much :-(
Posted by obsidian on March 31, 2009, at 18:58:40
In reply to Re: internal conversations.... » obsidian, posted by seldomseen on March 29, 2009, at 20:13:10
It's nice to imagine sometimes
but there was times when I was obsessive about it
until a while after starting therapy
strangely, my thoughts have changed a lot
Now sometimes I just have thoughts that are not conversations, maybe because I don't have that judgmental voice living in my head as much anymore
Posted by obsidian on March 31, 2009, at 18:59:47
In reply to Re: internal conversations...., posted by jouezmoi on March 29, 2009, at 19:13:46
thanks :-)
Posted by obsidian on March 31, 2009, at 19:05:11
In reply to Re: internal conversations.... » obsidian, posted by Dinah on March 29, 2009, at 9:18:16
I've had some very judgmental moments with members of the clergy (from their side)
and some injuries inside from them
one told me that she "felt sorry for my mother"
mind you now..I was by do means a loud aggressive person at this time...I was a teenaged girl in all honors classes who paid almost completely no attention to whatever was discussed, and so then dared to fail said classes immediately
I don't think failing classes makes you a bad person? or does it?
Posted by obsidian on March 31, 2009, at 19:05:54
In reply to Re: lame post trigger..., posted by desolationrower on March 28, 2009, at 19:10:28
yeah, seems like there is always something I wish I said
Posted by obsidian on March 31, 2009, at 19:07:24
In reply to Re: lame post trigger..., posted by Sigismund on March 28, 2009, at 15:21:13
wow, that'd make me tired Sig those wheels going round and round
Posted by obsidian on March 31, 2009, at 19:08:17
In reply to Re: lame post trigger... » obsidian, posted by Phillipa on March 28, 2009, at 12:47:01
I guess there are all sorts of types of thoughts
Posted by rskontos on March 31, 2009, at 21:58:07
In reply to Re: lame post trigger... » rskontos, posted by obsidian on March 31, 2009, at 18:48:59
I understand I really do, I did try lately to say uncomfortable things and well it was uncomfortable. I can't say I felt it was productive although he does. I wonder if he says that to keep me positive, well if he is it isn't working.
Oh well, therapy is a tough road one I struggle with often. But then I struggle to get through most days.
you are ok in my book
rsk
Posted by rskontos on March 31, 2009, at 21:59:41
In reply to Re: internal conversations.... » Dinah, posted by obsidian on March 31, 2009, at 19:05:11
>>I don't think failing classes makes you a bad person? or does it?>>
Nope not in my book. Again I repeat you are ok in my book
rsk
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