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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 20 of 20. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by SLS on March 18, 2009, at 9:12:03
Is there a preponderance of woman posting on the Psychology board?
If so, why do you think this happens?
- Scott
Posted by Dinah on March 18, 2009, at 9:56:16
In reply to More women than men on the Psychology board?, posted by SLS on March 18, 2009, at 9:12:03
That's one of the many reasons we're delighted to have you here!
I have a couple of ideas off the top of my head. Maybe more if I think about it.
Some of it is like a snowball. If the Psychology Board has mostly female posters, male posters may not feel comfortable here, or may come and see this fact and not stay around to post. If men who are comfortable enough to stay around do stay around, more men might feel comfortable enough to post here.
Also, there is definitely a bias to relation based therapy on this board. Many of us have had less than happy experiences with CBT, and tend to say so when the topic comes up. Those who aren't familiar with this way of thinking may come to this board and be appalled. They may think it's terrible that clients have been with therapists for so many years, or that clients are so upset when their therapists go on vacation. They may wonder why so much time is spent in therapy on the therapeutic relationship. People from other schools of therapy have commented in the past that they don't feel comfortable on this board. Our therapists may be from many disciplines from analysis to CBT, but to lesser or greater extents, the therapeutic relationship is involved.
I have mixed feelings about that. This is the Psychology Board, not the Therapy relationships board, and everyone should feel welcome here. That being said, I understand the tension involved better than I do between, say SSRI users and MAOI users, though that may be my ignorance about medication talking.
And Psychology is seen by posters on this board as something of a safe haven where people are respectful, work things out in the ways we were taught, and in general behave like the those thoroughly therapized by relation-based therapists. There are group norms that are politely but firmly enforced by posters directly and indirectly. And again, I see both benefits and drawbacks to this.
It's my observation that reflecting on relation-based therapy and group norms arising from relation-based therapy favor the upbringing and possibly genetic tendencies of women in general. But certainly not women in specific or men in specific. Each person is an individual.
I think that the lack of men on the existing board, and the relationship based therapy model prevailing here might combine to escalate the female/male ratio on Psychology.
One possible solution I see is for men who are comfortable doing so to post here, and help other men feel more comfortable.
Another I might see is for CBT discussions to start here where everyone manages to ignore what they don't particularly care for personally, so remain respectful to all. But again, it might take a bit of perseverance to build up a sizable enough poster population to make those discussions lively.
Or, while I hate to add extra boards, I think it might be helpful to have a separate CBT board, so that discussions might possibly become livelier sooner. And where tensions might be less. In practice it could be considered more of a practically oriented rather than theory based board. Focused on DBT or CBT concepts and their application?
Which wouldn't exactly address the problem on this particular board.
So please, stay around and invite your male friends. :)
Posted by 10derHeart on March 18, 2009, at 19:02:02
In reply to More women than men on the Psychology board?, posted by SLS on March 18, 2009, at 9:12:03
My dumb response.....
which I think might be showing me how simplistically my mind works sometimes, and also what assumptions I make and conclusions I jump to without even realizing it for years, they seem so valid to me. Hmm...
I though it was because, in no particular order, although I think #3 is the assumption I've made forever that influences me the most...
1. Women are more comfortable not only telling others they are in therapy, but revealing exactly what is said there - not so private about emotional stuff? (I know, I know....broad brush)
2. There are more women posters at Babble? (Have no CLUE if this is even remotely correct)
3. More women in society in general are in therapy?
Hope I've not offending anyone, especially not men. I know I am probably operating under some false conclusions and stereotypes. That's kinda part of my point.
Wonder if the APA for one, as it's big and might have the means, or any other agencies have collected data on gender of those seeking therapy?
I also agree with Dinah - I sure wish more men would post here. I learn a lot. Some of my distorted beliefs may have already been dispelled by you, Scott. (Actually, based on my past history and relationships, you give me great hope...) Not sure if, or which, but it's possible - I'll have to go back through your posts...:-)
What an good question.
Posted by Dinah on March 18, 2009, at 23:28:55
In reply to Re: More women than men on the Psychology board? » SLS, posted by 10derHeart on March 18, 2009, at 19:02:02
Yes, that occurred to me as well. I don't know the wider numbers on either Babble or on therapy clients in general.
Judging from the clients I've passed on the way in and out of my therapist's office, though, the numbers don't seem all that unequal. Maybe that's more to do with my therapist.
Posted by Bobby on March 19, 2009, at 0:14:49
In reply to More women than men on the Psychology board?, posted by SLS on March 18, 2009, at 9:12:03
maybe it's because men think they already know everything?
Posted by Phillipa on March 19, 2009, at 0:24:33
In reply to one for the girls, posted by Bobby on March 19, 2009, at 0:14:49
Maybe same as men do not seem to see doctors as often as women as women have ob-gyn from early ages so get used to doctors. Just a thought. Phillipa
Posted by SLS on March 19, 2009, at 7:12:38
In reply to Re: More women than men on the Psychology board? » 10derHeart, posted by Dinah on March 18, 2009, at 23:28:55
> Judging from the clients I've passed on the way in and out of my therapist's office, though, the numbers don't seem all that unequal.
This has also been my observation in the clinic where I go for therapy. What is interesting, though, is that the ratio of female to male therapists is about 4 to 1.
- Scott
Posted by SLS on March 19, 2009, at 7:22:01
In reply to Re: More women than men on the Psychology board? » Dinah, posted by SLS on March 19, 2009, at 7:12:38
I must say that I am reluctant to share as openly as much as most people here do - or at least, I feel that way. I think one must allow themselves to be vulnerable to share such deep thoughts and feelings. For whatever reason, I do not allow myself to be so vulnerable. It is an uncomfortable position to volunteer for. Here, there might be some biological differences between the sexes and some stereotyped gender role adherence as well. I am not sure. It could just be me as an individual.
Whatever it is, it scares me to be so open.
- Scott
Posted by SLS on March 19, 2009, at 7:37:14
In reply to Re: More women than men on the Psychology board?, posted by SLS on March 19, 2009, at 7:22:01
You know, one of the fears I have about posting on the Psychology board is that I might be too aggressive and perhaps insensitive to the needs of others. I am sure that testosterone has something to do with this. There is a fierceness about me. I am afraid of being reprimanded for just being me.
I hope that if I do appear typically male, that I may be forgiven.
:-)
- Scott
Posted by SLS on March 19, 2009, at 7:41:08
In reply to one for the girls, posted by Bobby on March 19, 2009, at 0:14:49
> maybe it's because men think they already know everything?
Like getting lost without a map?
Funny.
I don't claim to know everything, but I know for fact that I have never been wrong. One time, I thought I was wrong, but I was mistaken.
;-)
- Scott
Posted by Dinah on March 19, 2009, at 9:10:23
In reply to Re: More women than men on the Psychology board?, posted by SLS on March 19, 2009, at 7:37:14
Well, if I ever feel offended, I'll definitely remember that your intent is not to offend. Different people have different world views, and that diversity is what makes life interesting. I really hope you do stay around. Apart from how much I enjoy having you here, your expression of your point of view may well resonate with many.
As for vulnerability, I suppose I tend to be open and therefore vulnerable everywhere I go. But to some degree, being vulnerable reduces my vulnerability, if that makes sense?
So much pain in relationships is caused by assumptions and lack of understanding. I find I'm generally happier around others if I'm more open about my own reactions. Now, I'm not sure if that makes people happier around me....
Posted by Dinah on March 19, 2009, at 9:49:20
In reply to Re: More women than men on the Psychology board? » SLS, posted by Dinah on March 19, 2009, at 9:10:23
Also, even if I am ever offended, it doesn't mean you were offensive. :)
Sometimes I'm offended because someone else is being offensive or insensitive. Sometimes I'm just offended, and it means nothing whatsoever about the other person.
Posted by TherapyGirl on March 19, 2009, at 10:07:54
In reply to Re: More women than men on the Psychology board?, posted by SLS on March 19, 2009, at 7:37:14
From what I've seen from you so far, Scott, you don't appear to be aggressive or insensitive. You have been a total sweetheart to me and I'm glad you're on this board.
Posted by SLS on March 19, 2009, at 10:55:09
In reply to Re: More women than men on the Psychology board? » SLS, posted by TherapyGirl on March 19, 2009, at 10:07:54
> From what I've seen from you so far, Scott, you don't appear to be aggressive or insensitive. You have been a total sweetheart to me and I'm glad you're on this board.
Thanks.
:-)
- Scott
Posted by Recently on March 19, 2009, at 14:03:59
In reply to More women than men on the Psychology board?, posted by SLS on March 18, 2009, at 9:12:03
I was always under the impression that there were more women than men in therapy. So statistically, it's not surprising there would be more women here, too. Beyond that I don't know.
Posted by desolationrower on March 22, 2009, at 18:40:49
In reply to Re: More women than men on the Psychology board?, posted by Recently on March 19, 2009, at 14:03:59
i look here sometimes and threads don't seem relevant to me. i am not sure what i would discuss, i don't really have a turbulent relationship with my therapist and that seemed to be what people wanted to talk about. (actually i feel like i don't have much relationship with her at all, since i do not know much about her and i am teh one talking most of the time, and talking about me.) i guess i'm not sure what psychological issues to talk about, for me most of the 'correct' psychological ways of doing things are very obvious, mentally; they are just hard to do emotionally. so i guess i use therapy, more as a way of maintaining some social connexion and feedback in the absence of normal socialising, and to have some i guess 'pep talk' for feeling more positive that the behavioral changes will make a positive impact.
i don't think i have any problem with self-revelation; actually its usually the time before taht which is more anxiety provoking, small talk is terrible, and i wonder if others will realize i am not as successful as one might think based on first impression.
i also don't think insensitivity/aggressiveness/confrontational is always bad, even wrt therapy.
-d/r
Posted by fleeting flutterby on March 24, 2009, at 10:11:18
In reply to Re: More women than men on the Psychology board?, posted by SLS on March 19, 2009, at 7:22:01
> I must say that I am reluctant to share as openly as much as most people here do - or at least, I feel that way. I think one must allow themselves to be vulnerable to share such deep thoughts and feelings. For whatever reason, I do not allow myself to be so vulnerable. It is an uncomfortable position to volunteer for. Here, there might be some biological differences between the sexes and some stereotyped gender role adherence as well. I am not sure. It could just be me as an individual.
>
> Whatever it is, it scares me to be so open.
>
>
> - Scott<<flutterby: It scares me too! I am going through some awful stuff with my therapist....(and am sure some could probably help me here) but you think I'm going to reveal it in "public" here...... No way! It's hard for me to be that vulnerable.
flutterby-mandy
Posted by fleeting flutterby on March 24, 2009, at 10:12:44
In reply to Re: More women than men on the Psychology board?, posted by SLS on March 19, 2009, at 7:37:14
> You know, one of the fears I have about posting on the Psychology board is that I might be too aggressive and perhaps insensitive to the needs of others. I am sure that testosterone has something to do with this. There is a fierceness about me. I am afraid of being reprimanded for just being me.
>
> I hope that if I do appear typically male, that I may be forgiven.
>
> :-)
>
>
> - Scottflutterby: I don't think this is a typical male thing..... I think it's a human thing.... I feel exactly the same way.... and i've read many many a post that stated the same thing.
Posted by Kath on March 25, 2009, at 19:16:46
In reply to Re: one for the girls » Bobby, posted by SLS on March 19, 2009, at 7:41:08
> I don't claim to know everything, but I know for fact that I have never been wrong. One time, I thought I was wrong, but I was mistaken.
>
> ;-)
>
>
> - ScottLOL ((you)) Kath
Posted by Kath on March 25, 2009, at 19:19:03
In reply to More women than men on the Psychology board?, posted by SLS on March 18, 2009, at 9:12:03
> Is there a preponderance of woman posting on the Psychology board?
>
> If so, why do you think this happens?
>
>
> - Scott~ ~ Seems true. I don't have the energy to read all the replies.
I wonder if more women than men feel more comfortable talking about their feelings? I do NOT know if that is true at all or not. Both my husband & my son seem to feel okay talking about their feelings.
Kath
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