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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 18 of 18. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by muffled on December 15, 2008, at 0:19:39
I got a friend. Or and old friend but she don't want to be friends no more.
I knowed her awhile, and kinda been there some w/her struggles, and I have great respect for my old friend.
But she don't wanna talk to me.
It hurts me kinda I guess. Some how, somewhere. In different ways, on different levels.
And one time, I kinda tried to join a convo she was having, and she ignored me and went away.
And thats OK, cuz she gottta do what she gotta do.
There's so many ways I feel sad bout alla this. So many ways.
So I guess I tried to in a neutral way connect, and was rebuffed very thorougly indeed.
I just wanted to hear how she was, that she was OK.
I wanted her to know I was happy to see her, and quite ready to talk if she wanted to.
But she didn't want to.
I don't understand.
I honestly don't understand AT ALL.
Voices try and tell me that which I am told by T is not true. That they are right, and thats why this is so.
But I cling to rationality.
I dump emotion for the useless thing it is.
My mind skids in different directions.
Different advice from different quarters.
Punish thyself.
PAY.
No!
No, I have not done wrong.
Have I?
You are an ignorant fool and should never have been born.
But there is a REASON I am here....isn't there...?
I must go dig in the sand.
Dig.
Dig.
Dig.
Its my escape.
Dig until my hands bleed.
But I retain rationality.
The moment of craziness passes.
I am OK.
I am always OK.
I can only try to do the best I can.
And if others must protect themselves from me it is their right.
I am NOT a leper.
Perhaps I am tad dense, but that is not a crime.
I only wish there to be less pain for all.
I am OK, allus am.
Thats why I worry bout others, cuz I allus OK.
I know how to escape.
I just go.
I be OK.
Just trying to put words down to have them in a form that is better understood.
And I can read them.
And they are real.
They will be out there on the 'net.
They are then not on my computer, they are out....'there' somewhere, but not with me.
I wish all well.
I have no malice, only sadness and confusion.
If I have ever inadvertantly wronged anyone I am sorry.
M
Posted by muffled on December 15, 2008, at 0:23:40
In reply to Confusion...as usual *triggery**, posted by muffled on December 15, 2008, at 0:19:39
I don't wish replies. I am fine.
Just, if you might.
Tell those Others.
Those Others w/in me to be calm.
To listen to the Ma.
Listen to her.
She is the kindest one. Listen to her.
She says truth.
LISTEN to her.
Be kind to one another.
We must stop the hurting,
it is not applicable to modern times.
It is the past.
The past is gone.
We are OK.
We are OK.
We are OK.
Blessings to all.
Posted by DAisym on December 15, 2008, at 1:51:58
In reply to Re: Confusion...as usual *triggery**, posted by muffled on December 15, 2008, at 0:23:40
No one knows the reason they are really here. Maybe one of our kids will cure cancer, or be president or travel to mars. Or maybe our words, here in cyber-space will touch just one other person and let them know they aren't alone. Trust your gut and have faith that you don't walk alone on your path.
As far as friends go, so often their own pain drives them away and nothing we can do or say will change their reality. They see us like they see us. We must know when to let go - to wish them well on their journey but cease to try to communicate. It is hard I know, as we always want to explain, or change or convince them that they have it wrong - that they have us wrong. So many times I've see folks get angry and then rewrite the history of a relationship. It is suddenly all, or mostly, bad. Nothing you can do except bow out.
It is confusing. And hurtful. 'Tis the season though - so take comfort where you can and walk away from the rest.
Hugs,
Daisy
Posted by rskontos on December 15, 2008, at 13:05:36
In reply to Confusion...as usual *triggery**, posted by muffled on December 15, 2008, at 0:19:39
Muffled,
I had a person tell me a long time ago that people are in our lives for only the time we need them and then for whatever reason they are gone. Because it is time to move on. If you think that is the case and real reason then you don't need to take it personally.And you are not a tad or even a little bit dense. You are smart, and you survive.
You are a good mom. Your parts need to listen to ma. All of you is good.
It might take a while for everyone to figure that out but all of you is good.
Your friend's time in your life I guess is done for now. Don't be hurt, it just is.
take care,
I am glad you are here :)
rsk
Posted by lucie lu on December 15, 2008, at 15:04:34
In reply to Re: Confusion...as usual *triggery**, posted by muffled on December 15, 2008, at 0:23:40
Posted by raisinb on December 15, 2008, at 16:03:51
In reply to Re: Confusion...as usual *triggery** » muffled, posted by rskontos on December 15, 2008, at 13:05:36
Daisy is right. Sometimes people just follow their own journey. I'm sorry you are sad. Sending you good thoughts :)
Posted by JayMac on December 15, 2008, at 18:34:06
In reply to Confusion...as usual *triggery**, posted by muffled on December 15, 2008, at 0:19:39
Posted by Phillipa on December 15, 2008, at 20:08:42
In reply to (((((muffled))))) Take good care!!! (nm) » muffled, posted by JayMac on December 15, 2008, at 18:34:06
Muffled sorry your friend ignorned you. I feel for you yes it hurts. Love Phillipa
Posted by Kath on December 16, 2008, at 21:58:18
In reply to Confusion...as usual *triggery**, posted by muffled on December 15, 2008, at 0:19:39
Muffy - I am so sad about what happened with the old friend.
You are a VERY good person & I'm glad to hear you shoving away the bad thoughts & words.
((((Muffled)))
I'm glad you shared about what happened & how you're feeling.
I dont' like to hear you thinking bad things about yourself. We are all human & none of us are perfect.
I send you love, xoxo Kath
Posted by llurpsienoodle on December 17, 2008, at 19:28:26
In reply to Confusion...as usual *triggery**, posted by muffled on December 15, 2008, at 0:19:39
how are you doing these days?
I am sorry that I wasn't able to respond to this post at the time. I was thinking of you
hugs for you, and some chocolate chips for your muffin.
In Canadia do they call chocolate chips "chocolate crisps?" lol
seriously, though
you are doing good work, and your emotions are kind of outrunning your thoughts right now, sounds like.
hang in there,
-Ll
Posted by Kath on December 17, 2008, at 19:45:30
In reply to muffledmuffin » muffled, posted by llurpsienoodle on December 17, 2008, at 19:28:26
> In Canadia do they call chocolate chips "chocolate crisps?" lol
~ ~ ~ hey hunnee - you're thinking Britain!We call chips, chips - either potato OR chocolate!!
hugs, Kath
Posted by Deputy Dinah on December 17, 2008, at 22:44:31
In reply to Confusion...as usual *triggery**, posted by muffled on December 15, 2008, at 0:19:39
> she ignored me and went away.
> So I guess I tried to in a neutral way connect, and was rebuffed very thorougly indeed.
Muffled, it isn't clear from your post whether this friend is also a Babbler, but if it is, would you please rephrase those statements into "I" statements? Statements about how you feel rather than about what another person does? Or what another person's intentions might be?
I realize that it's not always easy to rephrase things as I statements. If you have any questions about that, please let us know.
I always hate it when Dr. Bob says "This doesn't mean I don't like you or that I think you're a bad person.", even though I realize he does mean it. But I hope you realize that this is meant as guidance and clarification on site policy, and as Dr. Bob says, it doesn't mean I don't like you or that I think you're a bad person.
Dinah, acting as deputy to Dr. Bob
Posted by muffled on December 18, 2008, at 9:11:36
In reply to Please clarify and/or rephrase » muffled, posted by Deputy Dinah on December 17, 2008, at 22:44:31
OK, should I take it to admin?
I would really like to figure this out.
I have been trying....
I go to go out but should be back relatively soon.
Then I will post my attempts.
Thanks.
M
Posted by muffled on December 18, 2008, at 9:12:37
In reply to muffledmuffin » muffled, posted by llurpsienoodle on December 17, 2008, at 19:28:26
Posted by muffled on December 18, 2008, at 11:48:27
In reply to Re: Confusion...as usual *triggery** » muffled, posted by rskontos on December 15, 2008, at 13:05:36
Thanks you guys for you support.
It was nice to see.
I generally avoid emotions, but sometimes they come anyways.
There were some wise words written.
I have contemplated that I have a hard time to cut loose a person, and I think its cuz noboddy ever bothered to try and help me. They just cut me loose. So I guess I try and not be that way.
But you guys is right, sometimes you just goto I guess. Though I don't really understand it.
I grew up with a sib who was truly unreasonable and demanding. I learned to let stuff slide, cuz while it made no sense, and wasn't fair, it wasn't worth the fight to try and show her she was wrong as she would not see ot, just couldn't, and would go off the deep end, and set the whole faily off and thongs would all go bad.(sorta like babble).
But I lived w/her, there was no escape for me, so I learned to deal with, and now as a dults we get on OK. That sib has a very kind heart.
Somehow we worked it out.
I dunno.
I got alotta noise in my head.
Had T yesterday and dumb T brought up a stupid subject considering it gonna be Christmas break.
She didn't know it was all packed away, how would she know?
Not her fault.
Just my own weaknesses.
Oh well.
Its nice thay you guys posted.
It felt good.
I know I am inconsistant.
Sorry.
Take good care all of you babblers.
We just goto hang on and know there's good times ahead somewhere.
M
Posted by Kath on December 18, 2008, at 12:48:47
In reply to Thanks, posted by muffled on December 18, 2008, at 11:48:27
I'm glad to hear from you Muffled.
Christmas is a very hard time for a lot of people, for a variety of reasons.
Please be kind to yourself; know you are a good person, no matter what any voices say & know I care about you.
xoxo Kath
Posted by Nadezda on December 19, 2008, at 8:26:54
In reply to (((((muffled))))), posted by raisinb on December 15, 2008, at 16:03:51
Posted by antigua3 on December 19, 2008, at 22:07:28
In reply to Confusion...as usual *triggery**, posted by muffled on December 15, 2008, at 0:19:39
Pls remember that we love you here. We really do, and we're here when you need us. You have many, many friends here who care a great deal about you.
antigua
This is the end of the thread.
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