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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by no_rose_garden on October 8, 2008, at 22:46:50
I joined a group through the counseling center. Today was the first day. I only said a few words, and there were only 8 of us. Everybody else talked. I was extremely nervous all day, and especially when I was there.
I wanted so badly to go to my bed and curl up w/ my special blanket and cry. It felt so weird. After, one of the counselors asked if i still wanted to be in the group and if i was ok...since i didn't talk much. That got me thinking...do i really want to be in the group?
I was so scared, but staying in the group might help me. Also, it could make it worse...
And to make it worse, the room is right across the hall from my old counselor's office (I can't see him any more b/c session limits).
What should I do?
Posted by Tabitha on October 9, 2008, at 2:04:20
In reply to First (and last?) day in group, posted by no_rose_garden on October 8, 2008, at 22:46:50
Groups can be hard. Maybe try one more session before deciding? See whether next time is easier or if it still feels wrong to you.
Posted by JayJ on October 9, 2008, at 6:51:23
In reply to Re: First (and last?) day in group, posted by Tabitha on October 9, 2008, at 2:04:20
I'm guessing a lot will depend on how supportive the group is. I've never been in group therapy, so I'm probably talking rhrough my hat, but I was thinking it would be pretty good if you could get a group of babblers together to talk. I know writing anonymously is very different from face-to-face, but people here are so supportive that I feel sure that if that could be translated into "in the room" therapy, it could only help. I don't know if it could work for you, but if you could somehow cast the group you deal with in that way in your mind, perhaps it might help. You get to know babblers by sitting and reading for a while before joining in, perhaps you sitting quietly in session for a few meetings could do that for you. I can imagine it's a very big jump from individual therapy (especially with your old T right next door!!), but maybe you can do some in-the-flesh babbling? It's kind of scary, but it would be great if you could do it. I hope it all works out for you and you can get the help you need.JayJ
Posted by Cal on October 9, 2008, at 9:13:52
In reply to Re: First (and last?) day in group, posted by JayJ on October 9, 2008, at 6:51:23
Thats a tough one to decide. I guess theres as many plus's as minus's. I think fear would be the one that would keep me away. But then perhaps there comes a time when we need to challenge ourselfs and do things differently, like dont run but face? I'm not sure, this is such a personal choice.
Posted by Dinah on October 9, 2008, at 9:58:48
In reply to First (and last?) day in group, posted by no_rose_garden on October 8, 2008, at 22:46:50
There's no need to decide today is there? Is it possible to take more time to get acclimated first?
A lot of times I get overwhelmed at sorting things out the first time or two, and it's not until later that I really can decide how I feel about it.
Posted by Nadezda on October 9, 2008, at 10:13:21
In reply to First (and last?) day in group, posted by no_rose_garden on October 8, 2008, at 22:46:50
I would stick with the group, at least for a few more sessions, to see whether you can feel your way into the situation. It often takes several sessions to know if a group will work for you.
I wouldn't make a decision based on feeling uncomfortable or not talking in the first time there. Having more connections would really be great for you. Even if it is across from your old Ts office, which makes it much more difficult, it has the potential to be really worthwhile. I hope you do find that you can connect better after you go for a while.
Nadezda
Posted by Phillipa on October 9, 2008, at 12:41:39
In reply to Re: First (and last?) day in group » no_rose_garden, posted by Nadezda on October 9, 2008, at 10:13:21
Years ago I went to group theraphy and loved it as it was nice to be with outers who also had problems and we had someone to lead us and assignments. I just liked the feeling of not being alone. Maybe try it again? Phillipa
Posted by Racer on October 10, 2008, at 15:27:17
In reply to First (and last?) day in group, posted by no_rose_garden on October 8, 2008, at 22:46:50
I guess my change to the subject line kinda gives away my feelings, huh?
Group therapy can be a really great experience. Most groups I know of ask that people commit to a certain number of sessions before they choose to leave -- six seems to be average, but that's based on a smallish sample size. The benefit of going to several sessions is that you don't have to make a decision based on the first day. You get to go through the process for a few weeks, and really get an idea of how well it might work out for you.
What I've found, for myself, is that hearing other people say things that I feel helps me recognize that so much of my own view of myself as -- well, I can't use the phrase that comes to mind first, but let's try the acronym: FUBAR -- is inaccurate, and it's a feeling a lot of women in the groups I've attended have shared. It's been good to get reality checks and outside perspectives from other group members. It's just plain been good for me. Sometimes, even on the days that I haven't spoken much -- although nearly anyone here can probably imagine how infrequently that happens!
I hope you find it helpful for you. I hope, if you don't find it helpful for you in the end, that you'll give it a fair chance before you decide.
Best luck.
Posted by no_rose_garden on October 10, 2008, at 21:25:50
In reply to Re: First day in group » no_rose_garden, posted by Racer on October 10, 2008, at 15:27:17
Thanks for the support everybody...
I guess I will try at least one or two more times before I decide. And maybe then, if I'm still considering leaving, I'll bring it up in group if I'm brave enough.
It seemed like everybody else in the group did so well on the first day. They all talked at some point without having somebody tell them they could talk. I really don't feel comfortable in a group of 8+2moderators just "jumping in." Everybody seems so normal.
I wish it was as easy as babble
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