Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 852321

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Social anxiety-feeling stared at and tears

Posted by Yoda on September 16, 2008, at 15:52:02

I am taking nardil,have gone through a cognitive therapy course, so i feel much better than i did.
My problem is this:- when walking around with strangers present i feel like i am under a great spotlight, like everyone is staring at me. When i am sat down in the same sort of location i feel far more relaxed.
Also i still find that it is far to easy for people to get me to start crying. Any critisism from a stranger and i feel my lips start shaking my throat get tight and then i start to well up! This is so unacceptable for a man of 21 and causes people to recoil in disgust! anyone got any idea why this is happening to me? It is very distressing, please help!

 

Re: Social anxiety-feeling stared at and tears » Yoda

Posted by Dinah on September 16, 2008, at 17:26:15

In reply to Social anxiety-feeling stared at and tears, posted by Yoda on September 16, 2008, at 15:52:02

I feel the same way at times. And of course it's only so much use to challenge the thought. You know that people are actually much too busy with themselves to be looking at you. That doesn't necessarily stop the feeling of being exposed and vulnerable.

I cry at the drop of a hat too, when I'm criticized. I used to embarrass myself over bursting into tears over bad grades too. I guess the fact that I'm female helped a bit.

I think what you're feeling is probably not disgust so much as distress, and perhaps a feeling of helplessness on their parts. It still isn't pleasant. But disgust is a different response.

I don't have a good idea for you. The methods I use are probably not all that healthy. I zone out a *lot*.

When I was younger and a bit more social, I'd try to find someone who looked anxious as well, and strike up a conversation with them. Somehow it was better if there were two of us, even if they were also terrified.

You might want to check with your prescribing doctor as well. There are some medications that you might be able to use with the Nardil to help with social anxiety.

Since I'm beating myself up right now about the same thing, it might be a bit hypocritical for me to say this, but... A bit of acceptance can go a long way. Different people are wired differently. Lots of people experience social anxiety. We're wired just a bit differently. It's enough of a challenge in itself. It makes it much worse if we beat ourselves up over it as well. Accepting that this is a challenge we face, and being sympathetic to ourselves as we face it, has to be better than adding self blame to the mix.

 

Re: Social anxiety-feeling stared at and tears » Yoda

Posted by lucie lu on September 16, 2008, at 18:48:34

In reply to Social anxiety-feeling stared at and tears, posted by Yoda on September 16, 2008, at 15:52:02

Yoda,

That must be very hard for you, and I'm sorry you seem to be having a tough time right now. Can you say a little bit more about yourself? Are you seeing a therapist (T) now? What were you being treated for originally, that your treatment included Nardil and CBT? Have you tried group therapy? Is there anything else about your history that you feel might be related to the self-consciousness and tearfulness?

I'm wondering whether your current symptoms are depression-related. Certainly it sounds like there are features of social anxiety in what you describe. But depression can make you feel that way too. That would also be consistent with the tearfulness, which is gender-neutral (anyone can have it) when it comes with depression. And feeling so self-conscious can be a reflection of feelings of low self-esteem and isolation, other hallmarks of depression. So while you may have social anxiety symptoms as well, it really sounds, to me at least, that you might have depression as well and would probably benefit from having it treated. As you probably know, not all antidepressants work for everyone. It's usually just trial-and-error to see what works best for you. Maybe a different med than Nardil would help you more with your current symptoms. Does your doctor who prescribed the Nardil know how you have been feeling lately? If not, it would be good to let them know and make an appt to talk with them about it. It can't be fun for you to be feeling so terrible.

I'd love to see you feeling better :)

All the best,

Lucie

 

Re: Social anxiety-feeling stared at and tears » Yoda

Posted by softheprairie on September 16, 2008, at 22:30:00

In reply to Social anxiety-feeling stared at and tears, posted by Yoda on September 16, 2008, at 15:52:02

I know I'm venturing more into what's normally on the med board, but since the thread is here I thought I'd add that in addition to CBT and Nardil you can add PRN (just when needed) antipsychotics, even if you are not psychotic. I take an old one, perphenazine, nightly and PRN for crying episodes. Zyprexa also has a fast-acting Zydis form that dissolves on the tongue. These meds reduce emotionality, which it sounds like you are after. However, they can be sedating or have other side effects or risks.

 

Re: Social anxiety-feeling stared at and tears

Posted by Phillipa on September 16, 2008, at 23:43:44

In reply to Re: Social anxiety-feeling stared at and tears » Yoda, posted by softheprairie on September 16, 2008, at 22:30:00

Yoda is nardil working as isn't the gold standard for social anxiety and depression? I don't know from personal experience never took nardil. Love Phillipa

 

Re: Social anxiety-feeling stared at and tears

Posted by Yoda on September 17, 2008, at 16:23:08

In reply to Social anxiety-feeling stared at and tears, posted by Yoda on September 16, 2008, at 15:52:02

Thanks for the love guys!
Re-reading my post i realise i havn't given enough info to be useful. My S.A has been with me since adolecence, But really ramped up about 4 years ago when i was 16. Then about 2 years ago, I fell down a black hole of ever increasing S.A and depresion. I would say the S.A had caused me to have a deep sence of disatisfaction with my life, leading me to self loath which set the depresion ball rolling.
The lack of motivation, meant i stopped even leaving my bedroom, washing, getting dressed all that jazz.

The thing i found most painful when in the depths of depresion was the lack of thoughts and ideas in my head. You see, When i am in a very good mood, i am constantly thinking up ideas e.g inventions, things id like to buy, places id like to go. On an average day my hands get covered with pen and i get pockets full of scraps with notes on.

I have Just had my third day at college and i am really loving it. I am actually the person most willing to join in class discutions! Its amazing watching so called normal people and being able to see there anxiety symptoms. But leaving the classroom is where the problems start. Now, walking around college alone the anxietykicks in. I cant walk about feeling normal. I feel like my posture is wrong or im swagering. I dont know where to look. My facial muscles tighten up so my mouth contorts and i bite down hard. This triggers an increasing spiral of anxiety. Then i get sweaty. The whole experience is barable, But i dont want it. Honestly, i feel so close to my long term anxiety goals, if i could just sort this stupid bit out i would happily call myself cured! best wishes to everyone here, thanks.


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