Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 847452

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ARGH. I just can't meet the right one. ADVICE?

Posted by Looney Tunes on August 20, 2008, at 20:43:15

What the hell is wrong with me?

Since I moved, I have tried 4 Ts and none have worked out (slightly over 15 months)

The latest one I thought was a keeper until he just "forgot my appointment" ~ a no-show. Added together with the fact that he did not call me back the one crisis call I made, I quit.

Is it wrong to expect to be able to DEPEND on a T? Especially if you have no-one else? Or is that asking too much?

My God, what am I doing wrong? Sigh...

 

Re: IT'S NOT YOU!!!!!!!!

Posted by twinleaf on August 20, 2008, at 20:59:44

In reply to ARGH. I just can't meet the right one. ADVICE?, posted by Looney Tunes on August 20, 2008, at 20:43:15

It's SO hard not to blame yourself when you try so hard and none of the relationships seem to go right. But it definitely isn't you....you just haven't found anyone to match up with properly. I don't know if you live in a city or not, but if you do, you might have luck getting good names and information for your local psychoanalytic institute (if you have one). You can go online and find information about all the graduate analysts as well as the ones in training. A number of them now have photos- which helps! You could call a few and see what you think of them over the phone

I mention this route because I used it with much success after one enormous therapeutic failure.

 

Re: ARGH. I just can't meet the right one. ADVIC » Looney Tunes

Posted by rskontos on August 20, 2008, at 22:03:19

In reply to ARGH. I just can't meet the right one. ADVICE?, posted by Looney Tunes on August 20, 2008, at 20:43:15

LT,

Don't blame yourself for their loser ways. They are the professionals and the connection to them is their responsibility. And I would be feeling just like you if my T "Forgot" my appt. But don't feel that way. He is the loser not you. Please keep looking like Twin Leaf advised. You deserve someone to help you that will be great for you. I know they are out there waiting to be found.

rsk

 

Re: IT'S NOT YOU!!!!!!!!

Posted by Phillipa on August 21, 2008, at 0:02:27

In reply to Re: IT'S NOT YOU!!!!!!!!, posted by twinleaf on August 20, 2008, at 20:59:44

Google your city and state and a list should come up of those that chose to be online with a description of their specialties. How I found my last one. Unfortunately it didn't work out. I'd call first after you find a name. Good luck. Phillipa

 

Re: ARGH. I just can't meet the right one. ADVIC » Looney Tunes

Posted by raisinb on August 21, 2008, at 9:10:06

In reply to ARGH. I just can't meet the right one. ADVICE?, posted by Looney Tunes on August 20, 2008, at 20:43:15

No, it isn't you. It's just an impossible task. I've seen 8 or 10 therapists in the last six years. Only one of those relationships lasted.

It's like dating, only worse, because so much more depends on it. I guess the old adage of "you have to kiss a lot of frogs" applies to therapists, too.

 

Re: ARGH. I just can't meet the right one. ADVIC » Looney Tunes

Posted by B2chica on August 21, 2008, at 9:44:59

In reply to ARGH. I just can't meet the right one. ADVICE?, posted by Looney Tunes on August 20, 2008, at 20:43:15

i didn't even read the other responses yet but i agree with twinleaf...it is NOT YOU!

you absolutely deserve an attentive and prompt T. ESPECIALLY when you give an emergency call. we ALL know how terribly hard those are to make and when you finally get the nerve to make them we expect that we get a return call.

nope, just a bad egg. get a new one.
i've had two great T's (including current one) and i went through (interviewed tried whatever...hmmm maybe 7 others?) its not just trying to find a qualified one, but with therapists its trying to find a personal fit also. so that makes it harder.

i say keep on lookin'.
you WILL find that fit. i promise. he/she is out there.

 

Re: ARGH. I just can't meet the right one. ADVICE?

Posted by Angela2 on August 21, 2008, at 16:58:03

In reply to ARGH. I just can't meet the right one. ADVICE?, posted by Looney Tunes on August 20, 2008, at 20:43:15

Looney Tunes, I had trouble finding a T a few years ago. And I didn't find someone I liked until January of this year. I hope that you find someone.


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