![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 18 of 18. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by obsidian on July 23, 2008, at 19:54:42
a regular basis...for like a week now,
and that last week I was already 'out of it'?
I so did not want to tell him
I'm still not sure I should tell him
I feel like I have to
Pretending I'm not smoking feels yucky
and I am having trouble trying to stop
I'm uncomfortable otherwise
even on the two days I didn't smoke
I had to pop an extra klonopin each day
like I just cant cope otherwise, I just have to be calm somehow
I don't want to tell him
that I am not sure I can handle this
I can make some bad decisions
but I don't care
because I just can't handle it
I can't handle the anxiety
not much at all
I am getting less and less active into trying to make decisions. I don't want to make any decisions. I can't make any kind of decision.
Posted by obsidian on July 23, 2008, at 19:55:58
In reply to shall I tell my T that I have been smoking pot on, posted by obsidian on July 23, 2008, at 19:54:42
t that!!
Posted by Dinah on July 23, 2008, at 20:13:12
In reply to shall I tell my T that I have been smoking pot on, posted by obsidian on July 23, 2008, at 19:54:42
Yup.
If there's something you don't want to tell your therapist, it probably means you should.
Posted by llurpsienoodle on July 23, 2008, at 20:28:28
In reply to Re: shall I tell my T that I have been smoking pot, posted by Dinah on July 23, 2008, at 20:13:12
I guess it's like confessional? cleanse the soul?
yeah. we're afraid of disappointing them by telling them that we're not making progress like we should? be .
(((((((sid)))))))
do you have a pdoc that you could talk to about feeling calmer? I guess klonopin has fewer side effects than pot and it's somewhat more legal.
Posted by obsidian on July 23, 2008, at 20:30:42
In reply to Re: shall I tell my T that I have been smoking pot, posted by Dinah on July 23, 2008, at 20:13:12
I just called an left a message telling him,
god, I am so freaking stupid
why would I want such aplorable judgment?
I'm not even done smoking it all dammit
what is this weird struggle I've created?
Posted by obsidian on July 23, 2008, at 20:35:24
In reply to Re: shall I tell my T that I have been smoking pot, posted by llurpsienoodle on July 23, 2008, at 20:28:28
Yeah, I am not making progress. I am making a real lack of progress. There's a pothole I keep driving into...I keep getting stuck there
with the feeling of falling, I can't relax any other way, I'm scared of falling
Posted by obsidian on July 23, 2008, at 20:37:46
In reply to Re: shall I tell my T that I have, posted by obsidian on July 23, 2008, at 20:35:24
that's right
Posted by llurpsienoodle on July 23, 2008, at 20:40:12
In reply to I am a complete *ssh*l*, posted by obsidian on July 23, 2008, at 20:37:46
nope not right
wanna come chat?
-Ll
Posted by Looney Tunes on July 23, 2008, at 22:40:22
In reply to shall I tell my T that I have been smoking pot on, posted by obsidian on July 23, 2008, at 19:54:42
Well, I think there are two issues here.
1) Smoking pot and (2) Telling T
If you have been with T for long enough and "trust" him and have a good relationship...sure, if you think your smoking is a problem. I doubt it will phase T. They have heard it all (so they say)
As for smoking, is this something you don't want to do? I mean I know several people who smoke pot frequently and want to. They have no intention of quitting and it does not interfere with their life. They smoke it to sleep.
Now, while society sees that as "wrong" because pot is illegal, there are FAR worse things in the world and they are not hurting anyone.So, do you feel the need to tell your T because you feel guilty, or because you want to stop and think T will tell you to stop, or just to let T into your world.
Perhaps, I don't understand because I do not know if you are dealing with addictions as a problem, or what....but I think sometimes we go through phases and as long as you are not really hurting anyone and you feel in control, no worries.
Posted by obsidian on July 23, 2008, at 23:03:00
In reply to Re: shall I tell my T that I have been smoking pot on, posted by Looney Tunes on July 23, 2008, at 22:40:22
I think for the most part I wanted him to know what is really going on
I would feel guilty lying (even if only by omission)He does not often tell me what to do about anything
that's all up to me
I just wanted to feel ok for a while
Posted by raisinb on July 23, 2008, at 23:13:25
In reply to Re: shall I tell my T that I have been smoking pot on » Looney Tunes, posted by obsidian on July 23, 2008, at 23:03:00
The important thing isn't that you are smoking pot--it's that you are hurting. I am sure your therapist won't judge you. He will help you talk about the feelings you are trying to get away from. I always thought mine would judge me for how much I drank, but she didn't--she just focused on how I felt so bad that I needed to escape.
Posted by backseatdriver on July 24, 2008, at 11:06:31
In reply to Re: shall I tell my T that I have been smoking pot » obsidian, posted by raisinb on July 23, 2008, at 23:13:25
Seconding Raisinb. Pot's no different from klonopin except for the legality. You're *hurting*.
Hang in there, you can find your way out of this. Your T can help ...
Posted by muffled on July 24, 2008, at 13:40:24
In reply to Re: shall I tell my T that I have been smoking pot, posted by backseatdriver on July 24, 2008, at 11:06:31
I agree w/whats said above. Pots not so bad, its more how you using it. Or why.
Sid you not bad OK?
You in a bad place right now so you might feel that way, but you not.
You just gonna have to trust me.
Have you tried other meds for anxiety? Seroquel made me less anxious...but too sleepy and HINGRY, talk about munchies!
I dunn wassup for you Sid, but do you got much IRL support? Its good to be around safe people and just kinda hang out sometimes.
Are you able to get vigorous excercise? Or even go on long walks?
Or volunteer somewhere?
((((Xanax)))) I love xanax. Other day I had an anxiety attack and had to keep taking more and more cuz it weren't working. Finally it kicked in. PHEW!
Maybe get out in nature?
Do some good ol CBT stuff and refute some of the stuff you say to youself in you head?
Hope you can feel better some.
((( Sid )))safehugs
M
Posted by Sigismund on July 24, 2008, at 15:13:33
In reply to I am a complete *ssh*l*, posted by obsidian on July 23, 2008, at 20:37:46
You are not a complete *ssh*l*.
No way at all.
But this was a wonderful question
>what is this weird struggle I've created?
Posted by Sigismund on July 24, 2008, at 15:19:32
In reply to Re: shall I tell my T that I have been smoking pot on, posted by Looney Tunes on July 23, 2008, at 22:40:22
When I tell my psych I sometimes smoke pot to sleep he says that the smallest pleasures have been taken from us and we are now living under a methodist dispensation.
When I talk to him about climate change he says humanity will never be up to dealing with it.
He also likes to talk about psycopaths in high places, for example high up in the psychiatric profession.
Your T may not have the opinion you think he will have.
Posted by obsidian on July 24, 2008, at 22:08:41
In reply to Re: shall I tell my T that I have been smoking pot on, posted by Sigismund on July 24, 2008, at 15:19:32
you know I don't think he minds the idea of smoking pot, but how disconnected I am when I am high a lot and how my judgment is a little off
I am sure mine must have lots of ideas about society and philosophy and stuff,
the thing is that sometimes I have my own little planet for just me
and I am the ruler of it
Posted by obsidian on July 24, 2008, at 22:26:10
In reply to Re: shall I tell my T that I have been smoking pot on, posted by obsidian on July 24, 2008, at 22:08:41
*ss, it's because I maybe should know better than to mess with my medications
but the medication doesn't quite cut it
I am so amazingly afraid of so many things
(I'd like to add that somehow, and I really don't know how the f*ck I do this....I have a full time job working with people. Can you believe that?
people...those beings who scare the sh*t out of me
THAT is who I work with!)I am not able to zone out like this and really be unaffected in that capacity.
I am just having a hard time tolerating people and their egos...I just want to tell them "like it is"
I keep wanting to go on and on about senseless nonsense in front of people.
Posted by Sigismund on July 25, 2008, at 4:21:06
In reply to it's not the smoking that makes me feel like an .., posted by obsidian on July 24, 2008, at 22:26:10
Quite by the by, I've been looking at EM Cioran, to cheer myself up.
Here are some of his aphorisms.....
I do not forgive myself for being born. It is as if creeping into this world, I had profaned a mystery, betrayed some momentous pledge, committed a fault of nameless gravity. Yet in a less assured mood, birth seems a calamity I would be miserable not having known
For a long timealways, in factI have known that life here on earth is not what I needed and that I wasn't able to deal with it; for this reason and for this reason alone, I have acquired a touch of spiritual pride, so that my existence seems to me the degradation and the erosion of a psalm.
There was a time when time did not yet exist... The rejection of birth is nothing but the nostalgia for this time before time.
He who hates himself is not humble.
It's not worth the bother of killing yourself, since you always kill yourself too late.
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Psychology | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.