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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 7 to 31 of 31. Go back in thread:
Posted by Phillipa on November 30, 2007, at 23:52:04
In reply to Re: More Depressed Than Usual, posted by rskontos on November 30, 2007, at 16:37:23
If I have my surgery plan is to sleep for six weeks then it will be over. Phillipa
Posted by Muffled on December 1, 2007, at 14:50:30
In reply to Re: More Depressed Than Usual, posted by Phillipa on November 30, 2007, at 23:52:04
Posted by Poet on December 1, 2007, at 16:43:23
In reply to Re: More Depressed Than Usual » Poet, posted by Muffled on November 30, 2007, at 11:49:30
Hi Muffled,
Thank you for the hugs. You are my friend and not in any dumb way.
We are not destitute. The two of us can pay the bills, though I am supposed to pay the property tax and even with my husband helping we're still a few hundred short.
I wish he could go to school fulltime and I could pay the bills. I just don't see it happening because I will fail to get a job. My T says she admires that I went to school and I don't give up, but I am paying the mental price for not giving up.
Christmas is getting to me. My family is getting to me. You are right that many people have a hard time this time of year. Maybe my brother will run away? It's about time, he's 54. Damn him.
Poet
Posted by Poet on December 1, 2007, at 16:47:00
In reply to Re: More Depressed Than Usual » Poet, posted by ClearSkies on November 30, 2007, at 13:24:11
Hi Clearskies,
My lifeboat needs an ice breaker on it as its cold and frozen outside as well as inside my head.
I know the harder times are coming. My concentration is getting worse and I am dead tired, but still have insomnia. Worse comes to worse I'll go see Dr. Clueless, but she usually takes December off. Can't say I blame her.
I will make sure there are enough life preservers to go around.
Poet
Posted by Poet on December 1, 2007, at 16:56:40
In reply to Re: More Depressed Than Usual, posted by annierose on November 30, 2007, at 13:34:13
Hi Annierose,
It is good that I have a job. I am far worse mentally when I don't have one.
I may be falling right now, but I will keep taking those baby steps or at least crawl along.
Poet
Posted by Poet on December 1, 2007, at 17:08:25
In reply to Re: More Depressed Than Usual, posted by star008 on November 30, 2007, at 16:08:05
Hi Star008,
I have had some truly horrid interviews and some truly horrid employers.
May all this sh*t be over soon.
Poet
Posted by Poet on December 1, 2007, at 17:13:07
In reply to Re: More Depressed Than Usual, posted by rskontos on November 30, 2007, at 16:37:23
Hi RK,
This is a tough time of the year. I've got Charlie Brown Christmas on CD, I will have to dig it out. Along with John Prine's Christmas Album, with "Christmas in Prison." Nothing like turkeys and pistols carved out of wood.
Poet
Posted by Poet on December 1, 2007, at 17:14:04
In reply to Re: More Depressed Than Usual, posted by Phillipa on November 30, 2007, at 23:52:04
Hi Phillipa,
Right now I feel like sleeping until my life is over. Good like with your surgery.
Poet
Posted by rskontos on December 1, 2007, at 17:25:05
In reply to Re: More Depressed Than Usual » rskontos, posted by Poet on December 1, 2007, at 17:13:07
Hey Poet I hear you on the family thing. I suffered through mine this Tday so none on Christmas day. But I like the turkey with pistols out of carved wood. Wonder where I can get some of that here in Indiana.
I am sorry you are still thinking you cant get a job. How about us taking your wooden pistols, and holding up a job for you.........ok now I am getting out of control. Sorry for that! I will behave, I will behave, I will behave.
I am looking up your John PRines album now. take care, poet....rk
Posted by rskontos on December 1, 2007, at 17:32:47
In reply to Re: More Depressed Than Usual » rskontos, posted by Poet on December 1, 2007, at 17:13:07
Hi Poet,
Ok so now I get the turkeys and pistols carved out of wood, I listened to song on youtube. I think you need one with more cheer maybe but it is a nice song. Take care sweetie,
rk
Posted by antigua3 on December 2, 2007, at 7:08:11
In reply to Re: More Depressed Than Usual » star008, posted by Poet on December 1, 2007, at 17:08:25
I'm here, and would do anything possible to help you. I'm sorry you're feeling so badly right now. I know what it feels like when you feel like you're not contributing enough to the family household, or would like to contribute more. I've been so out of it, and so far from contributing my fair share, that I feel SO guilty. But times are changing, and hopefully that situation will change, too. Like, you, I've always identified myself so strongly with my work.
Take are poet.
antigua
Posted by Daisym on December 2, 2007, at 22:38:56
In reply to Count me as a life preserver, posted by antigua3 on December 2, 2007, at 7:08:11
Me too!
I think you have really come a long way in the past year. Don't forget what it was like when you weren't working at all. And we all need to remember that we are more than the work we do - some of us use work to avoid living life - we need to find that balance of work and life. It is OK if you aren't working at the top of the ladder right now. You can climb later if you decide you want to.
Things have a way of working out - if your husband wants to go back to school, he'll figure it out. We all have constraints on things. You aren't personally responsible for that.
and the Holidays. *sigh* I'm trying but my ho, ho, ho has turned to oh, oh, oh. I'm up for running away from home - where shall we go?
Take care, my friend. I hope the depression lifts quickly.
Posted by Dinah on December 3, 2007, at 3:20:50
In reply to Re: More Depressed Than Usual » Muffled, posted by Poet on December 1, 2007, at 16:43:23
> I wish he could go to school fulltime and I could pay the bills.
As Daisy said, we all have constraints that keep us from getting what we wish for. It's ok for you to wish that, and for him to wish it, although while we're wishing, I'd wish he said it with more compassion and thoughtfulness.
I think it's great that you went to school, and that he wants to go to school, and that you seem to have confidence in him in that and want to help him achieve it. It sounds as if you're ready and willing to support him all you can. Certainly by paying all the bills if that comes to pass, but also by helping him look at possible alternatives to achieving his goal in ways that are possible right now.
Posted by Poet on December 3, 2007, at 18:04:37
In reply to Re: More Depressed Than Usual, posted by rskontos on December 1, 2007, at 17:32:47
Hi RK,
I don't think any Christnas song can cheer me up these days. Glad you gave Christmas in Prison a listen. I am a big fan of John Prine.
Poet
Posted by Poet on December 3, 2007, at 18:07:39
In reply to Count me as a life preserver, posted by antigua3 on December 2, 2007, at 7:08:11
Hi Antigua,
Keep that life preserver handy. I wish I could explain why I base self esteem on work/career, you'd think after five years in therapy I would have an answer. I wish I had the answer for you, too.
Poet hanging onto rail of sinking ship
Posted by Poet on December 3, 2007, at 18:10:37
In reply to Re: Count me as a life preserver, posted by Daisym on December 2, 2007, at 22:38:56
Hi Daisy,
Man the life preservers Poet is on a sinking emotional healthy ship.
You are right that I am worse off when I am unemployed. My T said that when she noticed I was more depressed. I see her tomorrow and I honestly can't say I feel any better. Hope she's ready for a rant on failure.
Let's escape the holidays by going to a tropical island. No Christmas trees, just palm trees and warm water.
Poet
Posted by Poet on December 3, 2007, at 18:15:32
In reply to Re: More Depressed Than Usual » Poet, posted by Dinah on December 3, 2007, at 3:20:50
Hi Dinah,
I just feel guilty because when I was unemployed I was dependant on him. I helped dig us a big financial hole and I have the education to get a better job, some experience, but zero confidence. I just wish he hadn't mentioned school while I am heading head first into depression. Not his fault.
Poet
Posted by Dinah on December 3, 2007, at 19:38:07
In reply to Re: More Depressed Than Usual » Dinah, posted by Poet on December 3, 2007, at 18:15:32
I understand that you feel that way.
But I know you know on some level that your feelings are influenced by many things, and that if it were someone else talking, you'd tell them something very different than you'd tell yourself.
But I also understand that knowing it and feeling it are two very different things.
:(
I hope you the depression eases. Drat your pdoc for taking off (if I'm remembering correctly).
Posted by antigua3 on December 4, 2007, at 5:03:11
In reply to Re: Count me as a life preserver » antigua3, posted by Poet on December 3, 2007, at 18:07:39
Seven years doesn't sound like a long time to me. I've been doing it my whole life and I even have children, so you'd think I would have gotten over it.
For me, work is what I do well, and I usually receive plenty of positive feedback for it, so it's natural I would feel that way. I get the feedback as a mother, but it's not the same--it's about them and not me.
So don't be so hard on yourself. Once we find that we are loveworthy in other areas, it diminishes. This means give yourself more credit for the other things in life that you do well. Like writing, for example. You are a wonderful writer, I can see that. And a wonderful person, too.
antigua
Posted by Poet on December 5, 2007, at 8:43:20
In reply to Re: More Depressed Than Usual » Poet, posted by Dinah on December 3, 2007, at 19:38:07
Hi Dinah,
You have a good memory, Dr. Clueless does take the month of December off (I don't blame her, it's cold and snowy here.)
You are right that my feelings are influenced by many things, yesterday's session we focused on how negative I am. I told my T I like my negativity leave it alone. It was not a productive session.
Poet
Posted by Poet on December 5, 2007, at 8:51:16
In reply to Re: Count me as a life preserver » Poet, posted by antigua3 on December 4, 2007, at 5:03:11
Hi Antigua,
Work has always been important to me. I keep telling my T I need my own office with a door that locks. I haven't had that since the 1999 job meltdown. Big sigh.
I know there are other things I do that are self love worthy. T always brings up how good I am with my cats, so I guess that's one.
Thanks for the encouraging words. I appreciate them more than I can say.
Poet
Posted by Dinah on December 5, 2007, at 9:23:13
In reply to Re: More Depressed Than Usual » Dinah, posted by Poet on December 5, 2007, at 8:43:20
lol. Perhaps she doesn't understand the very real benefits of negativity! An internet search might be in order. I remember hearing some interesting stuff about that.
And maybe if she learned more about the benefits, she could suggest ways to take the best of negativity while mitigating the less pleasing effects.
At any rate it seems like a more productive way of thinking about one of our cherished defense mechanisms.
For some reason I'd always thought Dr. Clueless was a man. Not sure why.
Posted by rskontos on December 5, 2007, at 11:06:29
In reply to Re: More Depressed Than Usual, posted by Dinah on December 5, 2007, at 9:23:13
Poet, I posted you something on muffled thread about how you told your T about how you liked your negativity....least you were honest. I just nod my head like one of those little dogs in the back window of those old cars....then I rage and rant when I get in my car. Sorry it was so non productive. And that you having a tough time. That I can relate too. I am heading in to heavy storms too. I have manned the battle stations cause rough weather is predicted. I have to start maintain control inside my head and since no one listens to me whew that is gonna be tough.
Well I think with your new degree and skills you have a new slate to start clean and that should include confidence. YOu know with all the pills they make they should make those kind too. I am sorry your T as you guys refer to as Dr. Clueless is going away. I post last week about my friend that has been in therapy for 17 years and still goes. More now that her youngest daughter went off the deep end and is blaming my friend for all her problems. I always thought my friend had all her stuff together I was shocked to know she had been in therapy that long and she is a doctor. She is the one that gave me my therapists referral. She will be the first to tell you length of therapy is no magic number it takes what it takes.
I wish I had magical words to help you thru this tough time. All I can say is I care and what can we do to help each other thru this hard holiday time..........lets brainstorm......take care poet,
you are a special person awaiting that new special job, it is out there you know.....rk
Posted by Poet on December 6, 2007, at 13:58:15
In reply to Re: More Depressed Than Usual, posted by Dinah on December 5, 2007, at 9:23:13
Hi Dinah,
I think I will have to explain to my T the benefits of negativity. Maybe I can convert her over to my way of thinking. LOL.
My expoc was male, maybe that's why you thought Dr. Clueless is.
Poet
Posted by Poet on December 6, 2007, at 14:03:29
In reply to Re: More Depressed Than Usual, posted by rskontos on December 5, 2007, at 11:06:29
Hi RK,
I sure wish magic words and pills existed. Then I could transform my family into something that wouldn't drive me crazier at Christmas.
My T isn't going away (actually she is, but not until sometime in February) Dr. Cluless is my pdoc who if she were around I would probably talk to about upping my meds. I know she has someone covering for emergencies, but they would be out of network and wouldn't be covered by insurance so I will wait it out. I have my T, and babble. A good combination.
Poet
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