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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by B2chica on June 14, 2007, at 9:59:18
i really do. all i've been through. all the cr@p my 'mother' put me through growing up and he either thinks its a joke, or he thinks everything that happened i brought on myself!!!
i was talking with his wife yesterday talking about our children. my brother butted in and said 'ya wait for the slap-fest to start'...talking to me...."like mother, like daughter"... (not joking..being beligerrant about it. like he thought i was just such a terrible person growing up, like i was this horrible monster too my poor dear 'mother'.)
i'm getting tears just writing this STUPID COMMENT, i;m so upset!
why does it upset me SO MUCH...
my first reaction was of embarrassment...yes...i felt embarrassed that my mother was abusive to me.but i am NOT, NOT ashamed to protect myself! Does he think that i just started hitting 'mother' for no reason??!!!!! no!! i didn't Hit...i HIT BACK!!
i am NOT like my mother. if i knew i was going to be like that with my dd i would 'off' myself RIGHT NOW...and i'm SERIOUS.
i can't STAND the thought of me putting ANyone Let alone my Daughter through that kind of cr@p.
God...she messed with my head SO MUCH!!!
I HATE HER TOO!!!I AM JUST S O A*N*G*R*Y!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by sunnydays on June 14, 2007, at 10:06:08
In reply to i HATE my Brother, posted by B2chica on June 14, 2007, at 9:59:18
You have every right to be angry B2Chica. You're brother's comment sounds very hurtful, and like it was intended to be. I would say to avoid him if you can, it doesn't sound like he's good for you or your children.
sunnydays
Posted by B2chica on June 14, 2007, at 11:50:10
In reply to Re: i HATE my Brother » B2chica, posted by sunnydays on June 14, 2007, at 10:06:08
ya. he isn't good for me or my child considering how abusive he was to me when i was young.
but i really do like his wife and my nephew. i wish there was a way that i could keep her and get away from him.
i struggle with my 'dislike' for my 'mother and brother, since i don't necessarily want them dead, but i've often thought how much better my life would be without them in it....its horrible i know. and i need to learn to not ignore run or hide from my emotions that they invoke within me....but there it is. in all its ugly truth.it makes me cry i wish SO much for my daughter NOT to be exposed any of the pain i've struggled through. i thank God for my MIL. she represents what a real mother is. caring, supportive, but not intrusive...and a lot sharper than anyone gives her credit for....i wish she were my mother. but in a way she is. in fact i told my daughter (she can't understand yet) that that grandmother is more of a mother to me now, than i've ever had. She is an example to follow. unfortunately she is already 75 and i'm scared that something will happen to her before my daughter can really know and remember her...this makes me Terribly sad.
...this conversation is making me sad so i'm going to stop.
i love my father...but everyone else can burn.
Posted by muffled on June 14, 2007, at 18:12:29
In reply to Re: i HATE my Brother, posted by B2chica on June 14, 2007, at 11:50:10
If its any consolation, I used to worry so much that I was a bad Mom, that I would be bad for my kids, and I DID go thru a bad spell, but fortunately realized it(no hitting, but anger and yelling etc)before too long, and I feel REALLY bad bout it, but now I work harder than ever to be a good Mom. I think those of us that are aware of 'stuff' and are on the lookout for it make good Moms.
So our kids are lucky to have us, and we blessed to have them.
Your brother is an utter and complete *sshole. I hope you can learn to not let his stuff take you down, and definately I would keep me and my kids away from him.
Families can be so good and so bad.
Glad you hanging in there OK B2.
Muffled
Posted by Dory on June 14, 2007, at 19:02:19
In reply to i HATE my Brother, posted by B2chica on June 14, 2007, at 9:59:18
(((B2)))
look i'll be blunt ok.. and give you something to examine. i tell it like it is when i can... and i care when i do. Forgive me if i am way off..
i think this hurt so much because it bites hard into your own issues...the biggest of which is guilt. As defiant as you as/were and i mean in trying to protect yourself... as justified as you feel, and you should... the isn't a person alive that has any kind of normal psyche who does not feel guilt about negative feelings or interactions with a parent, esp mother. It bites into your guilt about hurting your mother, regardless of how justfied you were. It also bites into the hurt and disbelief at being hurt by her. It bites into the selfshame of "what did i do to deserve this" that a child thinks because that IS how a child thinks... they aren't capable of otherwise. In a child's mind mother is the ideal, any negative interaction must be the child's fault.
Does this makes sense?
Your brother is obviously not a tender-hearted person as an adult. i am sorry he isn't there for you, and i am even more sorry he feels the need to be cruel.
Posted by B2chica on June 15, 2007, at 8:53:42
In reply to B2 » B2chica, posted by muffled on June 14, 2007, at 18:12:29
i know this sounds bad but thank you for calling him an @$$hole.
...he is.
and i just keep thinking of how he was abusive to me, that i sometimes forget he is just a plain narcissistic @$$hole!and thank you about the supportive words about motherhood. i often think that because i am aware of it that it will be ok...but i have doubts sometimes.
i mean, she was ok with me the first few years of life (those that i can't remember of course) she started turning 'wako' when i was about 6. about the same time the abuse from my brother began.trying to hang on...just a question of wtf to hang on to!
Posted by B2chica on June 15, 2007, at 9:00:17
In reply to Re: i HATE my Brother » B2chica, posted by Dory on June 14, 2007, at 19:02:19
yes dory it is because of my issues of guilt and anger.
something that took me a couple years of therapy to even admit i had...
mostly i see her as a pathetic human with flaws and pain of her own...i feel pity for her...then she opens her mouth and i realize that that pity is wasted. she's just messed up and makes me angry.it reminds me not so much of guilt of hitting her...since i actually feel kinda proud of myself for fighting back (for once). but it actually brings back the feelings that i felt when i was living with her. how she Always made me feel ashamed of who i was. feelings of shame about my thoughts, feelings and body. of yes, like you said being hurt by her. the first woman in the line of many to hurt me.
thank you for your support.
Posted by Poet on June 16, 2007, at 10:00:07
In reply to i HATE my Brother, posted by B2chica on June 14, 2007, at 9:59:18
Hi B2Chica,
I think your brother was being an insensitive jerk, and I wish you could find a way to never see him again, but still see his wife (she must be a saint!) and your nephew.
I'm sorry he hurt you and brought up all those old bad feelings. I'm sending him an extra hard cyber slap to his head. Wham.
Poet
Posted by B2chica on June 18, 2007, at 7:52:38
In reply to Re: i HATE my Brother » B2chica, posted by Poet on June 16, 2007, at 10:00:07
LOVE YA POET!!!!!
b2c
> >>>>I'm sending him an extra hard cyber slap to his head. Wham.
>
> Poet
Posted by B2chica on June 18, 2007, at 8:02:52
In reply to Re: i HATE my Brother » B2chica, posted by Poet on June 16, 2007, at 10:00:07
This is the end of the thread.
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