Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 739278

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Re: Fantasy Therapy

Posted by LadyBug on March 8, 2007, at 14:39:48

In reply to Re: Fantasy Therapy » Daisym, posted by frida on March 8, 2007, at 14:13:52

I think this is a great topic.

For today, I'd definetly pick my T. Last week, I would have picked NO T. I like my T just fine. She is awesome and tries to do everything she can, without breaking any boundaries, to show me how much she cares about me, likes to see me, even loves me. I find it hard to take in for some reason. It scares me sometimes and I think it's safer not to allow someone to care for me, because the people in my life that supposedlly care for me aren't reliable and I can't count on them. I can count on her to be reliable and I trust her too.
We work well together and should after 10 years. My issues run so deep and I'm a slow learner. Part of my issues are my marriage and I've tried to stick with it and try harder. Well, now I'm planning on a life of my own without my spouse. She's helping me pave the way. It's not something that happens over night as I've been married for almost 23 years. I've turned over every rock, and it isn't working therefore it must end. It's not what I want, but the stuff that goes on is not acceptable in a marriage.
Without my T right now, I wouldn't have a whole lot of strength to move ahead in my life. She's so good for me. I love her like I wish I could love my own mom. My T is in my heart and I know she'll always be there.
I hope others feel that there fantasy T would be there own T. But some T's are better than others. I am fortunate to have a wonderful T! Do I ever get angry with her, sure and she get's irritated with me at times. But we work hard and work through it. No pain, no gain!
LadyBug

 

Re: Fantasy Therapy » wishingstar

Posted by frida on March 8, 2007, at 14:40:32

In reply to Re: Fantasy Therapy, posted by wishingstar on March 8, 2007, at 14:26:36

Dear wishingstar,
I saw that film too and I liked the therapist. I liked how she helps the girl to finally cry and how she understands her pain.

(I am so sorry you are struggling so much and can't feel connected to Ginny :-( )

Frida

 

Re: Fantasy Therapy » LadyBug

Posted by frida on March 8, 2007, at 14:44:12

In reply to Re: Fantasy Therapy, posted by LadyBug on March 8, 2007, at 14:39:48

I feel the same way about my T, I've been with her for around 7 years now. I would choose her over and over.
I'm glad you share that connection, and I understand how deep it is.
She has been like a mother to me.
I'm glad you feel that your T would be your "ideal" T, too. :-)

Frida


 

Re: Fantasy Therapy » frida

Posted by wishingstar on March 8, 2007, at 14:47:23

In reply to Re: Fantasy Therapy » wishingstar, posted by frida on March 8, 2007, at 14:40:32

The movie itself wasnt my favorite movie ever, but the therapist was great. A therapist like that is exactly what I need. But I'm not sure they exist in real life. Either that, or they do exist but I manage to somehow divert all their efforts. That's a definate possibility too.

 

Re: Fantasy Therapy » wishingstar

Posted by frida on March 8, 2007, at 14:53:35

In reply to Re: Fantasy Therapy » frida, posted by wishingstar on March 8, 2007, at 14:47:23

I am so sorry you feel that therapists like that don't exist.. =(
and that you can't feel that connection with Ginny now...
It takes a long time to build safety and trust...
I feel fortunate that I wouldn't ask for a better T than the one I have. I'm certain she loves me and has given me love and comfort, and hope. When I could care less about my own life and what happens to me, she shows me that I'm worth saving, and that I deserve to be alive.
I wish you could feel that kind of safety and unconditional support and acceptance from a T.
You truly deserve it.
and it's not your fault..
I've been a really hard and difficult patient, my T even acknowledges that I've been so challenging and that I've made her feel frustrated and so sad sometimes and like a failure. But we've worked through it all...

I wish you could feel that safety with a T...

You deserve it.

Frida

 

Re: Fantasy Therapy

Posted by Iwillsurvive on March 8, 2007, at 15:02:45

In reply to Re: Fantasy Therapy » LadyBug, posted by frida on March 8, 2007, at 14:44:12

I dunno, I kinda like that googly eye guy from the original charlie and the chocolate factory. The original willy wonka. Can't remember what the actors name is. But I always liked him, even as a kid I think. We would have sessions and I could say ANYthing to him cuz he would just roll his eyes and do something weird and that'd be great. We'd bond on a deep chocolaty level!
As for my actual T she's great. Pretty CBT oriented, but very very good for me in that she has been very consistantly accepting of me no matter what. She seems to actually genuinely care bout me. She is a nice person and is game to try anything. One time she said to me 'I'm your safe person, you can talk to me and say anything to me'. That was so nice she said that. The fact that she would say she was my safe person was so cool. And she don't get mad or frustrated to me at all cuz I can't say bout stuff. She just patient w/me.
HA! And I like that she human and got faults too, cuz then I don't goto feel like I am less than her. She shows her faults to me and then I can show mine too.
And she likes to laugh lots. Some might not like that, but I do. Cuz lotsa times I do it too.
And when she gets waterineye, she sucks it up FOR ME! Cuz she says she don't want to upset me w/it. And I can ask her anything, and sometimes she tries to circle round stuff, but if I push her she will be truthful, so far as I know anyways.
Noboddys perfect. But I don't think she'd hurt me on purpose. And I know she TRAINED to be unconditionally accepting. I know I just a client. But I think she does genuinely care bout her clients.
I am rambling. Sorry.

 

Re: Fantasy Therapy » Daisym

Posted by 10derHeart on March 8, 2007, at 15:55:30

In reply to Fantasy Therapy, posted by Daisym on March 8, 2007, at 12:49:22

Why, your T., naturally, Daisy!! (But it IS just a fantasy question, so don't worry that you have to share him any more than you already do...)

And if not your T., then sunnyday's T, ladybug's T, or maybe Dinah's or iws' T....hmmm....hey! there's lots of good ones to pick from...how cool is that?!

Fictional.....I can't think of one that I really liked enough.....at one time the woman pdoc on the Sopranos (forget her name)....but later in the show things were said and done that were pretty scary/questionable....

I think I'm curious to find out if I could bond with a woman. I *think* so, but both my excellent T's have been men, so I'm not sure.

((Daisy for being Daisy and for the fun thread))

((((good t's))))

((((((((((((((my T))))))))))))))))))))))))))

 

Re: Fantasy Therapy

Posted by widget on March 8, 2007, at 16:10:53

In reply to Re: Fantasy Therapy » Daisym, posted by 10derHeart on March 8, 2007, at 15:55:30

This is a fun thread. I pick my therapist always. He couldn't be better. I want to be in therapy with him forever. Widget

 

Re: Fantasy Therapy » Daisym

Posted by Poet on March 8, 2007, at 16:26:53

In reply to Fantasy Therapy, posted by Daisym on March 8, 2007, at 12:49:22

Having a degree in film history, I look to the movies for my choice. It's a tie between Judd Hirsch as Dr. Berger in "Ordinary People" and Bibi Andersen as Dr. Fried in "I Never Promised You a Rose Garden." Can I have a few sessions with each of them to decide who to stay with?

Poet

 

Re: Fantasy Therapy » Daisym

Posted by sunnydays on March 8, 2007, at 17:00:05

In reply to Fantasy Therapy, posted by Daisym on March 8, 2007, at 12:49:22

I would have to say my T. After the last few sessions we've had it's been so incredibly comforting and safe-feeling that I really would just pick him. Although if it has to be someone else, I would pick this woman I met in high school a few times. I would definitely pick my T. He says he's not going anywhere, and I've been repeating that like a mantra because I have to be gone for a week now and can't see him.

sunnydays

 

Re: Fantasy Therapy

Posted by Dinah on March 8, 2007, at 17:15:02

In reply to Fantasy Therapy, posted by Daisym on March 8, 2007, at 12:49:22

Weellll, since it's fantasy I suppose I won't choose my therapist, since I can see him (right now anyway) any time I want. I'll consider it a fantasy short term augmentation.

So... I guess a whole range of possibilities would be good.

Daisy's therapist definitely. And I'd love to experience some tenderness like Sunnydays. I don't think tender is in my therapist's repertoire.

I'd love to see Steven Levenkron or Irvin Yalom, since if they're anywhere near as good as they think they are, they can likely cure me. And Martha Stout, because in her book it's like she looked inside my brain.

Judd Hirsch's character in Ordinary People was great. And if anything ever happened to my therapist, Monk's therapist would make a decent replacement. He's very similar to my therapist.

 

Re: Fantasy Therapy

Posted by bil on March 8, 2007, at 17:21:17

In reply to Fantasy Therapy, posted by Daisym on March 8, 2007, at 12:49:22

Hello, everyone- sorry I've not posted in awhile, things been a bit difficult.

I have to say I'm so envious of all of you who would choose a session with your own T! I would love to have a T that I felt that way about.

If I could have a fantasy session, I would choose Carl Jung... maybe not so much even for therapy, just 'cos I think it would be facinating to talk with him- ask him about some of my weirder dreams.

He seems like he must have been a nice man.

bil

 

Re: Fantasy Therapy

Posted by Daisym on March 8, 2007, at 17:31:08

In reply to Re: Fantasy Therapy, posted by bil on March 8, 2007, at 17:21:17

I'm still thinking, although Jung was kinda of my choice too. But come on you guys -- FANTASY therapy -- pick someone OTHER than your own!! (Although it is nice that you all feel that way.)

:)

 

Re: Fantasy Therapy

Posted by peddidle on March 8, 2007, at 17:47:43

In reply to Re: Fantasy Therapy, posted by Daisym on March 8, 2007, at 17:31:08

Alright, fine! I'll play the game, and I won't pick my own T (even though I would never pick anyone over her).

Hmm....probably Dr. Shutt (Adam Arkin) from Chicago Hope. Or if we can pick people that aren't necessarily T's, but people that we would just like to sit and talk with about our lives, problems, etc., then I might choose Olivia Benson (Mariska Hargitay) from Law & Order: SVU.


P.S.
Great topic Daisy!

 

Re: Fantasy Therapy

Posted by bil on March 8, 2007, at 18:11:52

In reply to Re: Fantasy Therapy, posted by Daisym on March 8, 2007, at 17:31:08

> I'm still thinking, although Jung was kinda of my choice too. But come on you guys -- FANTASY therapy -- pick someone OTHER than your own!! (Although it is nice that you all feel that way.)
>
> :)

Johnny Depp.

;-D ok- so he ain't a therapist... but hey, it's a fantasy!

bil

 

Re: Fantasy Therapy

Posted by madeline on March 8, 2007, at 18:38:51

In reply to Fantasy Therapy, posted by Daisym on March 8, 2007, at 12:49:22

I liked the Robin Williams therapist in good will hunting.

Also the therapist in Sybil the movie was good too. I don't know if she was like that in real life, but I like her in the movie.

My curiosity I must admit always gets the best of me and I would have to have a few session with Freud himself.

Maddie

 

Re: Fantasy Therapy

Posted by ElaineM on March 8, 2007, at 19:46:46

In reply to Re: Fantasy Therapy, posted by madeline on March 8, 2007, at 18:38:51

[Good choices Dinah :) ] I've always been drawn to Steven Levenkron - read his books and novels at my lowest weight and he made me feel like I wasn't gonna die. I used to chant like Kessa [but not in her ED way] when I was walking to and from consulations then trying to find help. I'd say "he'll [whomever i'd just med] save me. save me. save me..." to my footfalls.
Anyways, I also enjoy Yalom's stuff too.

But I'd pick LadyDoc as first choice, hands down. With LadyT a close second.

I also like Mandy Patinkin from Criminal Minds. His voice is calming, I could fall asleep to him reading all those literary quotes.

I like LL's and Dinah's T's too.

 

Re: Fantasy Therapy » Daisym

Posted by littleone on March 8, 2007, at 19:48:07

In reply to Fantasy Therapy, posted by Daisym on March 8, 2007, at 12:49:22

I think I would have to say my T. I’d be a vegetable with anyone else. Even in daydreams I can’t have a proper talk session with a different T. I just freak out or space out or do weird stuff like hide under desks.

I think my Fantasy Therapy could centre around a different “where” though.

I often fantasize that my T comes hiking with me. I show him places that are special to me. We share discoveries like mini forests made of lichens and mosses and strange bugs and interesting trees. He helps me scramble up rock faces. When we sit and rest on a rock, he talks deeply to me. Hearing the birds around me in the forest would be so soothing during a session.

Sigh. He is a self confessed non-walker who thinks it’s a hike just to go out to his letterbox.

There’s a box in his office I fantasize about. I imagine it’s full of art supplies and toys and stuff and he pulls it out and we lie on the floor and draw together. Or he helps me make crocodiles out of egg cartons and flamingoes out of pipecleaners.

Okay, fantasy therapy doesn't *have* to be productive therapy, does it?

 

;-)

Posted by Happyflower on March 8, 2007, at 20:08:52

In reply to Re: Fantasy Therapy, posted by bil on March 8, 2007, at 18:11:52

I would pick 2 of my T's at the same time! LOL as far as the fantasy....ummmm howabout one dressed up and the other in gym shorts! Sorry but you did ask! ;-) Maybe 3 would be good, the one that blushes!

 

Re: ;-)

Posted by sunnydays on March 8, 2007, at 20:33:58

In reply to ;-), posted by Happyflower on March 8, 2007, at 20:08:52

Please can I keep the one I have? I don't want a different one, even in fantasy. Sorry, I'm just really having a hard time with the thought of leaving.

sunnydays

 

Re: ;-) » sunnydays

Posted by 10derHeart on March 9, 2007, at 16:51:17

In reply to Re: ;-), posted by sunnydays on March 8, 2007, at 20:33:58

ahh...but Daisy said nothing about leaving...no, no, no. Not even as a fantasy.

I thought of it more as....just a few - extra? sessions in a pretend world - in no way to replace our T's, but more to have an interesting experience with anyone WE choose - and of course (right, Daisy?) no charge.

Maybe sessions could be as long or short as we liked, the fantasy T. has no other clients but us, and we could talk to them only once, or as many times as we imagined, and in any kind of place we choose.

Many possibilities, but none take away our relationships with our real Ts. In fact, I think it's be cool to tell my T. every detail of how this other, fantasy T., talked and walked and what I said (if anything!) And of course, to tell him that even if this fanT. (<good one eh?) was nice and kind and smart and so forth, that he (my own T.) was SO much better for us and not to worry that we wanted to make the fantasy about the fanT. come true or anything! (T's might need reassurance sometimes, too?)

Oh wow, I do go on and on.....Daisy set off my ADD-fueled imagination.....

'cause, sunny, I so know how you feel, and you (we) should banish *that* thought! Poof! No more "l" word, it's gone, 'kay?

 

Re: ;-) » 10derHeart

Posted by sunnydays on March 9, 2007, at 21:13:16

In reply to Re: ;-) » sunnydays, posted by 10derHeart on March 9, 2007, at 16:51:17

Sorry, I meant that I have to go on a trip this week, so I'm 'leaving' my T and everything familiar for a week (and have to be with my family). So that's what I'm having a hard time with.

sunnydays

 

Re: ;-) » sunnydays

Posted by 10derHeart on March 9, 2007, at 22:17:21

In reply to Re: ;-) » 10derHeart, posted by sunnydays on March 9, 2007, at 21:13:16

You did mention that, but I'd forgotten. I think it'll go by really fast 'cause your can occupy your mind with the family stuff. I know some of that can be yucky, but you are going to be just fine, and of course, your T. isn't going anywhere.

Will you be able to post while you're away? In case the family stuff and missing him gets too bad?

I'll be thinking of you. My T. starts a 2-week vacation next week. <sigh>

 

Re: ;-) » sunnydays

Posted by Daisym on March 9, 2007, at 22:20:42

In reply to Re: ;-) » 10derHeart, posted by sunnydays on March 9, 2007, at 21:13:16

Hey Sunny, no worries. This is totally play, so don't do anything that might be upsetting. I hope your trip is fun and the week goes quickly.

 

Thanks to All!

Posted by Daisym on March 9, 2007, at 22:26:17

In reply to Re: ;-) » sunnydays, posted by 10derHeart on March 9, 2007, at 22:17:21

I think I'd like to see if I could bond to a woman too. I think it would be interesting to talk to Babette Rothschild. She seems to have many ideas about healing trauma.

And the other person I think I'd like to spend time with is Winnicott. He must have been an amazingly warm and intuitive person to come up with the theories he did.

Thank you all for participating. This has been fun to read.


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