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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by wishingstar on January 17, 2007, at 19:09:24
Happyflower, your post inspired me to post this. I think it's as helpful to share positive experiences/stories as it is to share painful ones. It gives me hope anyway.
I had a wonderful session with Ginny today. And last week was wonderful also. 2 weeks in a row. I'm not sure if it's because my mood has been better, or because of the conversation we had about therapy, or what... but it's great.
Today we talked about Anne. The topic that just never gets old, right? It hadnt come up in awhile but I'm waiting for her to call me about an insurance matter, so a lot of feelings about her have been stirred up again. I told Ginny more detail about her, things she'd said/done that were hurtful, expressed my hurt and frustration... and wondered out loud how much of what happened was made worse between us because of how I behaved. The rest of the session Ginny really was "real" with me. Of course she held her boundaries, but she made it very clear to me that she doesnt think I did anything wrong at all, and that it was purely Anne's bad judgment. We laughed about how bad it was in fact. I told her a friend had said Anne probably wont call (but write a letter instead) because she's too much of a chicken-sh*t, and Ginny basically agreed! She said she doesnt think she'll call either. I definitely felt Ginny on my side. It felt so good. It was the first time any T has really taken a stance on Anne with me. As I was about to leave, she looked right at me and said "it's not your fault, okay?" That hit a deep spot in me.
I mentioned one story I'd told Anne that was huge for me and she never reacted to. It's an issue that is long passed, but Ginny heard it, and said she wants to talk about it anyway because it's important, even if it is over. Ginny, thank you! She is the greatest. I feel so heard.
I feel like I'm getting to know her as a person. She uses a lot of examples from her own life and doesnt feel quite so removed to me. That helps.
I hope I'm not jinxing anything by posting this. But I just wanted to share. I'm so happy to finally be feeling good with therapy. And oddly enough, I dont feel as desperate to be there every single day as I have with other Ts. It's like I know she's there, I know I'll go back the next time, and it's not the end of the world. Wohoo.
:)
Posted by wishingstar on January 17, 2007, at 19:13:25
In reply to great session, posted by wishingstar on January 17, 2007, at 19:09:24
I forgot to add...
And she's been asking me if there's anything else I need to say, need to tell her, etc just like I asked her to! Sometimes things get going so quickly that I let important moments fly by, but I think her asking that will slow me down and let me get it out when I need to. So far I havent needed to add anything, but I SO MUCH appreciate that she is doing it.
:)
Posted by Happyflower on January 18, 2007, at 9:25:39
In reply to great session, posted by wishingstar on January 17, 2007, at 19:09:24
I think it is great you had a wonderful session, that is how therapy should be, shouldn't it? ;-)
It feels great to have validation, doesn't it?
I think when T's use thier life stories, it helps in many ways. Just seeing them as somebody "normal" with issues of their own, and knowing how awesome they can be to us, lets us know that there are probably more "awesome, normal" people out there too. Plus there has to be a certain level of trust they have to have with you to disclose this stuff to you and I think they a lot of the times must feel that you are able to handle it too. So it should feel good most of the time, if done correctly.
Well you keep the warm fuzzies going too! ;-)
Posted by Poet on January 18, 2007, at 10:13:17
In reply to great session, posted by wishingstar on January 17, 2007, at 19:09:24
Hi Wishingstar,
My T is *real* with me, too, and talks about things in her life that relate to me. Okay, I'm not thrilled that she compares me to her son, but she always says I know you don't like this, but...and whatever she's saying about him does relate to something about me.
I'm glad that Ginny seems to be a keeper. As for Anne, she can go to ______.
Poet
Posted by wishingstar on January 18, 2007, at 11:34:39
In reply to Re: great session » wishingstar, posted by Happyflower on January 18, 2007, at 9:25:39
Absolutely... validation is the greatest thing in the world for me.
And I agree with you about the personal stories. When she tells me things about her life, it tells me that she's comfortable with me and trusts me with it. There have been a lot of suggestions from others (not her) that I pushed the boundaries with Anne, but Ginny must not feel like I am with her or she wouldnt open up (in fact, shes said I never have, but still). Last session she mentioned something about "when I was at the ob/gyn before my son was born... and there were problems at the birth..." no specific details, but it makes her so real. I appreciate the openness. It's a shame some Ts are still taught in the "dont show or feel anything" model. I really do believe its valuable.
Posted by wishingstar on January 18, 2007, at 11:36:22
In reply to Re: great session » wishingstar, posted by Poet on January 18, 2007, at 10:13:17
I think it's sort of neat in a way that she relates you to her son. I think it means you're important to her. I can see how it would be less than thrilling for you though. My T has two young kids (4 and 6) and I used to teach 4 year olds, so we talk and joke about them sometimes, but so far no comparsions. I'd hope not. lol
Agreed on Anne!
Posted by wishingstar on January 18, 2007, at 11:39:12
In reply to great session, posted by wishingstar on January 17, 2007, at 19:09:24
I went to the doctor this morning because I have a small but incredibly itchy rash on my back. I was out of town this weekend and thought I'd gotten into something. The doctor thinks it's the beginning of shingles. The first question she asked me was if I'd been stressed lately for any reason, because I guess stress triggers it. Of course I've been very stressed about waiting to hear from Anne regarding the insurance stuff.
Anne, you gave me shingles!!! I blame you!!
Boy does that feel good! :)
Of course I'm kidding somewhat. I sure hope that's civil. lol
Posted by Dinah on January 18, 2007, at 11:45:30
In reply to I blame Anne!, posted by wishingstar on January 18, 2007, at 11:39:12
Ouch. I wish you a quick resolution to itchiness. :(
Posted by wishingstar on January 18, 2007, at 12:55:48
In reply to Re: I blame Anne!, posted by Dinah on January 18, 2007, at 11:45:30
Posted by TherapyGirl on January 18, 2007, at 14:38:48
In reply to oh, and..., posted by wishingstar on January 17, 2007, at 19:13:25
EXCELLENT!!!!!! No one deserves a great T more than you, WS.
I'm so proud of you for hanging in there and happy that Ginny is coming through for you.
Posted by wishingstar on January 18, 2007, at 19:21:10
In reply to Re: oh, and... » wishingstar, posted by TherapyGirl on January 18, 2007, at 14:38:48
This is the end of the thread.
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