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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 12 of 12. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Happyflower on December 27, 2006, at 9:43:41
I learned I need to talk to my T about being triggered by anti-social personality disorder behaviors due my past of living with someone who has it. I need to learn how not to be triggered by the manipulative behavior in order to be a successful T. I learned that being harrassed and manipulated scares the hell out of me. I am glad our real email addresses are not used, or our real address and phonenumbers are not allowed on this site because I don't feel safe anymore here..
Posted by madeline on December 27, 2006, at 10:14:30
In reply to Well I guess I learned something, posted by Happyflower on December 27, 2006, at 9:43:41
See, this is why I think you are so valuable to the boards. You are encountered with a problem and you learn something about yourself.
Then you share this realization with the people on the boards.
Personally, I get very triggered when I feel that people don't feel safe and protected (because I never was) and can tend to go on the attack.
My mom was the queen of emotional coercion and man, that hurts. It just nullified my emotions and experience and made me feel personally responsible for everything that she ever felt or did. It was not fair for her to do that and I get triggered over that too.
(((Happyflower))) and (((Maddie)))
Posted by Happyflower on December 27, 2006, at 11:03:10
In reply to Re: Well I guess I learned something - trigger, posted by madeline on December 27, 2006, at 10:14:30
Thanks Maddie,
I know what you mean, but I need to overcome this. I guess we all reach a boiling point where we are not going to allow people to treat us badly. I reached mine, and I am requesting babble to help protect me. But I think I am barking up the wrong tree. In fact in trying to protect myself, I will probably get blocked while the behaviors I am complaining about will probably only be reinforced because of it. ((((maddie))))) Thanks for you support! I will write more later.
Posted by finelinebob on December 27, 2006, at 19:28:26
In reply to Re: Well I guess I learned something - trigger » madeline, posted by Happyflower on December 27, 2006, at 11:03:10
> ... I guess we all reach a boiling point where we are not going to allow people to treat us badly. I reached mine, and I am requesting babble to help protect me. But I think I am barking up the wrong tree. In fact in trying to protect myself, I will probably get blocked while the behaviors I am complaining about will probably only be reinforced because of it....
Ya know, with the passing of Gerald Ford and all the talk about Watergate and the Watergate tapes and all the "expletive deleted" sections in the transcripts (if that's before your time, go to the public library, find a copy of the transcripts of the White House tapes from the Watergate mess, and look at how many "expletive deleted"s there are) -- anyway, it got me thinking....
Go ahead and write what you need to write, get it out of your system. Then go back and edit out anything you think may endanger your standing here in Babbleland and replaced it with "incivility deleted".
I'm sure we'll get the gist of what you want to say anyway. =)
But I agree -- there are things that I am incapable of doing, and then there are things I may be incapable of doing that my T says "ferchrissakes, just HIRE someone to do it" but I say "NO" and refuse to give in. Whether it's other people treating us badly or the environment or dust bunnies or the world in general or ourselves treating us badly, sometimes you have to stand and fight.
We shall overcome someday.
flb[starting my second year in my NYC apartment, and I still haven't cooked a meal at home or even unpacked my dishes and pots and stuff. Someday.]
Posted by Phillipa on December 27, 2006, at 21:53:26
In reply to Re: Well I guess I learned something - trigger » madeline, posted by Happyflower on December 27, 2006, at 11:03:10
Happyflower guess I'll take the plunge into admin and see what happened. It couldn't be worse than my Daughter verbally attacking me in Florida so we had to come home on Christmas Day. It was horrible. Get better right now. Don't want to think of it. Love Phillipa
Posted by rip van periwinkle on December 27, 2006, at 21:56:19
In reply to Re: Well I guess I learned something - trigger, posted by finelinebob on December 27, 2006, at 19:28:26
"ferchrissakes"
that's an awesome word
Posted by Poet on December 27, 2006, at 23:05:01
In reply to Well I guess I learned something, posted by Happyflower on December 27, 2006, at 9:43:41
Hi Happyflower,
I guess you're blocked which saddens me. I think that the feeling of being harrassed and manipulated scares the heck (trying to be politically correct) out of me, too. I hate that feeling and I hate that you're feeling it, too.
Please take care and come back to babble. I would sincerely miss you if you left.
Poet
Posted by rubenstein on December 28, 2006, at 16:55:16
In reply to Well I guess I learned something, posted by Happyflower on December 27, 2006, at 9:43:41
Happyflower, I am sorry you don't feel safe here anymore. Sometimes I feel like that too, it is all just too much, but then in other times it is really helpful to me. I am thinking of you
rubbenstein
Posted by antigua on December 29, 2006, at 12:41:15
In reply to Re: Well I guess I learned something - trigger » Happyflower, posted by Phillipa on December 27, 2006, at 21:53:26
Phillipa,
I just wanted to say how sorry I am that your daughter was so nasty to you at Christmastime. I would have come home early, too. Sounds like she could use some help.
Just keep breathing, and remember that you are a wonderful person and that her problems are her own.
antigua
Posted by Phillipa on December 29, 2006, at 19:50:18
In reply to Re: Well I guess I learned something - trigger » Phillipa, posted by antigua on December 29, 2006, at 12:41:15
Antigua thank-you for validating me. It hurts though to think your Daughter is so distant. Love Phillipa
Posted by madeline on December 30, 2006, at 5:49:00
In reply to Re: Well I guess I learned something - trigger » antigua, posted by Phillipa on December 29, 2006, at 19:50:18
Didn't I read somewhere that your daughter is bi-polar?
If so, that diagnosis can make her aggression easier to understand, but it still hurts doesn't it?
I think I would've left too.
Maddie
Posted by Phillipa on December 30, 2006, at 19:42:24
In reply to Re: Well I guess I learned something - trigger » Phillipa, posted by madeline on December 30, 2006, at 5:49:00
Maddie thanks no diagnosis. Her biological Dad and Grandfather are. Her Grandfather was like her undiagnosed for decades and built a fortune that is allowing for his supurb care in Florida right now at age 85. And his symtoms are controlled now that he's in a controlled enviornment. My fear is that as she ages and keeps up the pace and the huge earnings that the same will happen to her. Bad genes from both me and Dad. I would say now she's a low level hypomanic successful and requires no sleep and constant promotions. But me I'm too soft for people like that. Hence the bedside nursing when I was working. I care about people and would do anything I could to keep from hurting them. So much so that I give in when I shouldn't stuff. Love Phillipa
This is the end of the thread.
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