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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 4 of 4. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by DR on October 4, 2006, at 14:57:48
I have a six year old who was biting his nails down to the skin when he had nothing to do or was anxious. He was relativly well behaved in school, besides speaking out of turn in class. That was in May. In August he began stating he wished he were dead. The psychologist recommended Lexapro, which I was against because of all of the horror stories about ssri's and their effects on children. I was told that even if i disagreed to his medical treatment that social services would charge me with neglect in a court. So he began Lexapro and his behavior in school has been horrible. He has been in trouble everyday since he has gotten there. Yesterday he began biting his arms and hitting his mother. I was not surprised, as an increase in aggression and self harm are considered side effects of the medication. What surprised me was that now his psychiatrist reccommends he be admitted to a hospital for 24 hour care. I have joint custody of my son, so I am supposed to be involved in making medical decisions but apparently that means nothing if you don't see your child on a daily basis. I have moved 5 minutes away from them just to be closer, but still have not be allowed to see him anymore than every other weekend so my hands are tied. I want to bring him for a second opinion, but his mother refuses... can anyone lead me in the right direction here? What are my rights? What can I do?
Posted by Racer on October 4, 2006, at 17:43:38
In reply to Please Help!!!, posted by DR on October 4, 2006, at 14:57:48
First things first: your rights will depend on a number of variables, including where you live, but also including your custody arrangement as declared in your divorce settlement. The only way to find out your rights is to consult an attorney. If you do not have an attorney, or cannot afford one, you can contact the local Bar association. They often have attorneys willing to see "indigent" clients at a very reduced fee for consultation. In my experience, it's been about $50 for the consult.
As for your son, I wouldn't jump to the conclusion that it is the Lexapro causing the escalation. That's not saying I don't think it is, or that I like Lexapro -- only that you may be mistaking correlation for causation. I agree with your basic premise: a second opinion would be awfully helpful about now.
If you don't choose to see an attorney, how about coming at your ex from the side, instead of head on? Rather than something like, "He's my son, I have a right to a say in his treatment," maybe something more like, "This situation is frightening me -- he seems to be getting worse, rather than better, and I'd like some reassurance. If I pay for it, and we all sign waivers for the doctors to talk to one another, will you agree to him seeing a specialist in child psychiatry for a second opinion?" You know, basically trying to work with her for his best interest? It's got to be scary for her, too, after all.
And finally, if you're only seeing him every other weekend, are you basing your assessment that he's getting worse on that limited basis? It's very possible that he's much better on a day to day basis, but the stress of visiting you brings on the escalating symptoms. That wouldn't mean he doesn't like visiting you -- it would only mean that any sort of change in his life might be able to set him off. That's very common. In fact, if he's especially excited and looking forward to something, that might set him off more.
Anyway, I hope there was something helpful in this for you.
Posted by pseudoname on October 5, 2006, at 11:03:25
In reply to Please Help!!!, posted by DR on October 4, 2006, at 14:57:48
Hi, DR. What an awful situation you're in. I'm very sorry.
I agree with Racer on both points. (1) Getting another opinion from a child behavior specialist would be a great idea. And to bring that about (and for other related reasons), (2) seeing an attorney who specializes in family law about your situation seems like a very good idea.
Good luck.
Posted by Susan47 on October 5, 2006, at 19:04:09
In reply to Please Help!!!, posted by DR on October 4, 2006, at 14:57:48
I deeply empathize with your position. I can't help you with your rights, I'm not a lawyer. And what Racer suggested seems quite reasonable, I think.. I wish things were different for you and your son. All I can say is that when you do see him, give him all the love and acceptance you're capable of giving.
Maybe, and I may be way off track, but maybe the thing is for you to see your own psychologist and find out ways you can help your son. If you don't have one, I recommend interviewing several before you decide on someone. It works. And any psych worth his weight will give a free 20-minute consultation so you can decide whether he/she is for you.
IMO, your son wasn't born with this death-wish. This is learned behaviour (IMO ALWAYS) ... where did he pick it up? How can it be changed? Likely his psych recommended the medication as a stop-gap (hopefully - and psychologists can't prescribe medications in Canada; is it different in the States and elsewhere????) to lessen his depression while the talk therapy takes effect .. but where is his talk therapy actually Going? What direction is it taking? Find out when and where his appointments are and go. You have that right no matter what the ex- says.
This is the end of the thread.
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