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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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Posted by Deneb on May 9, 2006, at 22:59:04
In reply to Re: Anyone else scared about the APA meeting?, posted by Deneb on May 9, 2006, at 21:43:04
I just thought of something.
My pdoc would ask me, "So, what if you had a panic attack during the workshop? What do you think the others would think?"
Here is my cue to come up with a reasonable answer.
My reasonable answer would be:
Well, they'll probably think I'm having a panic attack. I assume everyone there will be familiar with panic attacks. Everyone will understand. I would probably have to leave the room for a few minutes and go back in when I'm ready. No big deal, people probably won't even notice too much.
Then I would probably say:
The chances of me having a panic attack during the workshop are very very slim. I haven't had a truly terrifying panic attack since childhood and strong wind is my trigger, not public speaking.
:-)
Deneb*
Posted by 10derHeart on May 9, 2006, at 23:55:58
In reply to Re: Anyone else scared about the APA meeting?, posted by Deneb on May 9, 2006, at 21:43:04
Deneb.....what you wrote there was awesome!!
I'm so proud of you! (Hope it's okay if I say that) You have done some changing and growing here, and I feel privileged to have been allowed to be even a tiny part of it.
I don't think the Monday thing will be all that bad. I think it'll be fairly small groups. I think it'll feel more casual and laid back than you imagine. I think we'll be sitting there with the others and the pdocs and just contrubute something if we're ready, we want to and we can. I think what happens a lot of times is once a topic gets going, you warm up to it and just say something because you *totally* know what the other person is talking about. After all, who are more experts on Babble and what an online community is like than we are, right? And I've always found it heaps easier to speak about something when you are the expert. Increases confidence automatically. But if you don't, so what? That's realy, really okay, too. Trying counts, IMO.
Not that we won't all be buddies, 'cause we will, but if it'll help, I'll stick by you that day. I'm not afraid of whatever may or may not happen. But I know how it feels to be VERY anxious and VERY nervous in similar settings. I'm just better about it now. Maybe on a different point in the path that you are - but never forgetting how it can feel.
Your post reminded me of a group session one time with my ex-T. One of the women there also had bad panic attacks in her past (I know you don't, since it was only one years ago), and the last one had only been about 3 weeks prior. She felt bad she was too afraid to walk up to the front of her church anymore (where she'd been going for may years) during a certain part of the service that meant a lot to her (where others were also doing the same.) She was scared she'd just fall down as her legs would go weak or something from panic symptoms. I remember he asked her if she thought people would just stand there if something did start to happen. She said no, they'd help me. He also said he was pretty sure if he looked like he was about to fall down in his own church that people would definitely catch him, or help him, and not make it seem like it was terrible or anything.
She thought for a minute and said yes, they were nice friends, and would only be worried FOR her, not disgusted, or embarrassed, or anything she'd been imagining. I'm sure the problem wasn't *fixed* that moment, but I also thought that woman may have taken a big step forward with just that simple, calm, interaction with my ex-T. Seems almost silly afterwards, but really, sometimes we can't see it, until we do, and then it's like, "wow - I can change how I experience these thoughts and feelings with some self-talk! How cool!" He was ever so good at teaching CBT stuff, and at psychodynamic, too. Well, he just plain cared and he was good. Your pdoc sounds like him in many ways, and he is truly one of the best.
And shoot, when/if I ever get up the guts to tell you guys the kind of stuff that's making me anxious about the trip (so much I've half-seriously thought of canceling)....well, you'll have to try real hard not to laugh, I think. At my age......no excuse. But we all have *something*
It'll be fine, Deneb. I'm sure of it.
Posted by Deneb on May 10, 2006, at 17:08:36
In reply to Re: Anyone else scared about the APA meeting? » Deneb, posted by 10derHeart on May 9, 2006, at 23:55:58
Thanks 10derHeart!
Thanks for saying you'll stick by my side. That means a lot to me. :-) I know I'll feel better, knowing you're pulling for me.
Thanks for the story about that woman. It's a good example of thinking out of one's anxieties.
> And shoot, when/if I ever get up the guts to tell you guys the kind of stuff that's making me anxious about the trip (so much I've half-seriously thought of canceling)....well, you'll have to try real hard not to laugh, I think. At my age......no excuse. But we all have *something*
You've made me curious. Now we're going to start imagining all sorts of things. LOL. Just kidding. I would respect that it's a big deal to you, but at the same time try to convince you that it's no big deal. ((((10derHeart))))
Deneb*
Posted by pseudoname on May 10, 2006, at 17:49:10
In reply to Re: Anyone else scared about the APA meeting? » Deneb, posted by 10derHeart on May 9, 2006, at 23:55:58
> stuff that's making me anxious about the trip
> (so much I've half-seriously thought of canceling)Nooo!! I sure hope you don't cancel, 10der. I'm looking forward to meeting everyone, and not too many people are going.
My own biggest fear about the trip is the Canadian customs officers.
Posted by 10derHeart on May 10, 2006, at 19:59:44
In reply to Re: Anyone else scared about the APA meeting? » 10derHeart, posted by pseudoname on May 10, 2006, at 17:49:10
>>
> My own biggest fear about the trip is the Canadian customs officers.Do you want to say why? Now I'm wondering if I ought to worry.....?
Posted by pseudoname on May 11, 2006, at 6:46:57
In reply to Re: Anyone else scared about the APA meeting? » pseudoname, posted by 10derHeart on May 10, 2006, at 19:59:44
> Now I'm wondering if I ought to worry.....?
LOL. Oh no!
I've probably been thru Canadian customs 15 times in my life. The only time I've had a problem was one fall, back when we were about 22, my cousin & I had some trouble (having to wait in the office, etc) but got through. We decided they thought we were sneaking in to go to college. So I'm really, what's the word? overgeneralizing. Since 9-11 I've been afraid that it'll be much worse, but people who've been through say not.
Plus my passport expired a long time ago, so I'll have to use my birth certificate, which has a technical problem... maybe they won't notice.
It's better if you're flying.
Please don't catch *my* neurotic anxiety. ;-D
Posted by Poet on May 11, 2006, at 9:29:29
In reply to Re: Anyone else scared about the APA meeting? » pseudoname, posted by 10derHeart on May 10, 2006, at 19:59:44
I haven't been through Canadian customs since before 9/11, but I've been through the Bahamas and Mexico with no problems. One of the Mexico trips my passport expired the day I came back into the U.S. and still had no problem with U.S. customs.
So I'm not afraid to come into Toronto. I'm nervous about presenting, but will take anti anxiety meds, a fist full if need be. I'm worried about getting lost as I can't read maps and won't ask for directions (I know self defeating behavior ;-) I'm not so worried about meeting other posters, which is a good sign. I think...
Poet
Posted by Deneb on May 11, 2006, at 12:44:25
In reply to Re: Anyone else scared about the APA meeting? » 10derHeart, posted by Poet on May 11, 2006, at 9:29:29
> So I'm not afraid to come into Toronto. I'm nervous about presenting, but will take anti anxiety meds, a fist full if need be.
I don't have any anti-anxiety meds, or sleep meds. Maybe by Monday I will be free from anxiety from the severe insomnia that I will experience. ;-)
>I'm worried about getting lost as I can't read maps and won't ask for directions (I know self defeating behavior ;-)
I'm writing down how to get to certain places ahead of time so I won't get lost. Maybe you could do the same.
Deneb*
Posted by pseudoname on May 11, 2006, at 12:51:46
In reply to Re: Anyone else scared about the APA meeting? » 10derHeart, posted by Poet on May 11, 2006, at 9:29:29
Poet--
Did you see my map to Bob's head? (It's on the Yahoo group photos section.)
;-)
Posted by Larry Hoover on May 11, 2006, at 15:31:21
In reply to Re: Anyone else scared about the APA meeting? » 10derHeart, posted by Poet on May 11, 2006, at 9:29:29
> I haven't been through Canadian customs since before 9/11, but I've been through the Bahamas and Mexico with no problems. One of the Mexico trips my passport expired the day I came back into the U.S. and still had no problem with U.S. customs.
I went through more stringent security at LAX (Los Angeles), routine pre-boarding stuff, than I did at Canada Customs in Toronto, on my arrival there. (Recent trip data.) If you have no problem with routine domestic security, I can't foresee you having a problem at Customs, here in Canada. The Customs officers were far more interested in whether I'd visited a farm (disease transmission risk), than anything else. I was through Customs so fast, I still had to wait 20 minutes for my bag to come down the carousel.
The neat thing about flying out of Toronto, on your return home, is that US Customs is pre-cleared at Toronto International Airport (YYZ). Your flight will be treated as a domestic flight, wherever it terminates in the US.
Lar
Posted by 10derHeart on May 11, 2006, at 21:52:56
In reply to Re: Canada Customs » Poet, posted by Larry Hoover on May 11, 2006, at 15:31:21
Thanks, Lar. That's good stuff to know, especially the going home part being pre-cleared. How very global and chummy of them, eh? ;-)
Details, details, I like details :-)
Posted by 10derHeart on May 11, 2006, at 22:01:54
In reply to Canadian customs » 10derHeart, posted by pseudoname on May 11, 2006, at 6:46:57
I'm sure waiting in the office was a bit disconcerting, to say the least, imagining whatever the problem might be....
Better Canada than a bunch of other countries I can think of, though.
I think, having traveled/lived abroad (Germany and Korea) while in the military, I'm now (as a civilian) just worried about acting or looking dumb or unprepared. I'd say I have a fair amount of common sense, but in the service, you are protected somewhat, as your travel in conjunction with official duties is treated differently, so I probably don't know exactly how it *really* is....
Don't worry, I don't need to catch or borrow your anxieties - I can conjur up plenty of my own new ones *any* time I want...apparently...
Posted by Poet on May 13, 2006, at 11:53:38
In reply to Re: Anyone else scared about the APA meeting? » Poet, posted by Deneb on May 11, 2006, at 12:44:25
Hi Deneb,
I'm definitely going to write down/print out directions to places I want to go.
I'm starting to have the what have I gotten myself into- it's only one week away- anxiety. I'm trying to tell myself, it's good anxiety, for what that's worth.
Poet
Posted by Poet on May 13, 2006, at 11:56:09
In reply to Re: Anyone else scared about the APA meeting? » Poet, posted by pseudoname on May 11, 2006, at 12:51:46
Hi Pseudoname,
I just checked out your map. I like it, maybe we can have Bob's head on the walls? Just follow the Bob heads to the conference room.
Poet
Posted by Poet on May 13, 2006, at 11:57:30
In reply to Re: Canada Customs » Poet, posted by Larry Hoover on May 11, 2006, at 15:31:21
Hi Larry,
I didn't know that cusoms was pre-cleared for the return trip. That'll make it much easier.
Thanks for the info. and see you, gulp, next week.
Poet
Posted by Larry Hoover on May 13, 2006, at 15:40:52
In reply to Re: Canada Customs » Larry Hoover, posted by Poet on May 13, 2006, at 11:57:30
> Hi Larry,
>
> I didn't know that cusoms was pre-cleared for the return trip. That'll make it much easier.It is highly efficient, getting it out of the way. There are so many US destinations reached directly from Toronto, it saves a lot of hassle. You check in, get your boarding pass, and go straight on to US customs. Then you get into the departure lounge. I presume there is some sort of legal agreement, that you enter the US while still in Canada, or something. The departure lounge is US soil under some treaty or other? <shrug>
> Thanks for the info. and see you, gulp, next week.
>
> PoetI look forward to it.
Lar
Posted by fallsfall on May 14, 2006, at 9:38:15
In reply to Re: Canada Customs ? Poet, posted by Larry Hoover on May 13, 2006, at 15:40:52
Alright, Here is a (probably stupid) question:
I need to bring my driver's license and birth certificate. That I can do.
But my birth certificate has my maiden name on it. Do I need to bring my marriage certificate too, so they can see that Falls Maiden really is the same person as Falls Fall?
Posted by 10derHeart on May 14, 2006, at 12:00:58
In reply to Re: Canada Customs, posted by fallsfall on May 14, 2006, at 9:38:15
I would. Not speaking from customs experience per se, just from general, personal life experience and as a paralegal of 17+ years - on both sides of the *counter* (so to speak). Whether showing a birth certificate or examining one as part of a process to positively ID myself or someone else, I've always had to have the marriage license, too - in order to connect the birth name to the current name as the same person.
Another extra step women (ones that have ever married/changed their names, anyway) have to deal with. <<resigned sigh>>
Better safe than sorry, right? (It's such a pain, though, isn't it?!!)
Posted by gardenergirl on May 14, 2006, at 17:00:20
In reply to Re: Canada Customs » fallsfall, posted by 10derHeart on May 14, 2006, at 12:00:58
I was asked for my marriage certificate when I left Japan after being there for a two-week vacation. It was so odd, because my passport and DL had the same name, my married name on them. I just looked at him blankly and said, "What are you going to do, not let me leave?" "Do you think he's smuggling me out?" "Do you have some strange laws about non-married men and women travelling together?"
Odd.
But this is good info, since I'll be crossing the US/Canadian border for at least a few hours in a couple of weeks.
gg
Posted by ClearSkies on May 18, 2006, at 21:17:29
In reply to Re: thanks! and education..., posted by Dr. Bob on August 7, 2005, at 18:12:33
And that we'll have reports back of your experiences. Enjoy Queen Victoria's birthday and I hope you get to watch some fireworks! (Spectacular along Lakeshore.)
Posted by gardenergirl on May 19, 2006, at 0:51:57
In reply to I hope everyone has a wonderful time :-), posted by ClearSkies on May 18, 2006, at 21:17:29
Posted by Deneb on May 19, 2006, at 5:15:03
In reply to I hope everyone has a wonderful time :-), posted by ClearSkies on May 18, 2006, at 21:17:29
Thanks ClearSkies! Thanks GG!
I'm going to take the bus in less than an hour! I'll write all about it. I might even take notes along the way. LOL
:-)
Deneb*
Posted by pseudoname on May 19, 2006, at 8:47:25
In reply to Me too. And safe travel! :) (nm), posted by gardenergirl on May 19, 2006, at 0:51:57
Posted by B2chica on May 19, 2006, at 9:06:28
In reply to Re: I hope everyone has a wonderful time :-), posted by Deneb on May 19, 2006, at 5:15:03
Posted by Larry Hoover on May 19, 2006, at 11:25:33
In reply to have a Great time....let us know when you're back! (nm), posted by B2chica on May 19, 2006, at 9:06:28
I'll miss y'all while I'm gone, but it'll be a "wish you were here" missing thing.
Off to Babblefest, in Toronto......
Hugs to all.
Lar
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