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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 14 of 14. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by wishingstar on March 14, 2006, at 21:41:21
I saw my T today. I really have a knack for bringing up the most important issues when we only have 5 minutes or so left.. and thats what I did today. Usually it just doesnt get talked about, but today the session ended up going 20 minutes over. Oops.
I told her that although I think part of the reason I dont feel heard may be transference, I still really dont feel heard and I think it's a real problem. I told her that I think she thinks I'm exagerrating and doesnt realize how serious I am when I say I feel bad. I also said that it bothers me when I say I'm suicidal and she never brings it up or asks about it again.. its really devalidating (if thats a word). She still seems hesitant to push any harder for feelings (she said she doesnt think its her job to pull it out of me, and I guess I agree).. but she did understand what I said and promised to try and be more validating and let me know shes hearing me. I hope it's true this time.
I brought her the book "I Had a Black Dog" today. It's a picture book with a few words (written like a kids book) talking about the effect depression has on your life. The illustrations are really great. She proceeded to hold it up like you would with a little kid (so we could both see the pictures) and read it aloud. I laughed the entire time.. I havent had a book read to me since I was 5! She even changed her voice some at angry, sad, etc parts.. I can really tell she has young children! :)
Posted by sleepygirl on March 14, 2006, at 21:54:07
In reply to saw T today, posted by wishingstar on March 14, 2006, at 21:41:21
I just had to put the link in for this one...I'm on a children's book kick
Thanks for sharing this :-)
Posted by annierose on March 14, 2006, at 22:08:43
In reply to saw T today, posted by wishingstar on March 14, 2006, at 21:41:21
I'm glad that you were able to share what you felt. That's really hard to do, but so important. I think she has your best interests at stake.
I understand but sort of disagree when she says it isn't her job to pull it out of you. Of course that can't "make us" say what we are not ready to talk about, but my T will give me time to gather my thoughts, then ask questions to help me form the words to tell her how I'm feeling about a particular subject. I think of it as holding my hand, guiding me along a new path.
Posted by wishingstar on March 14, 2006, at 22:41:34
In reply to Re: saw T today » wishingstar, posted by annierose on March 14, 2006, at 22:08:43
I agree with you. I know she cant force me to talk and shouldnt have to ask over and over and over if I wont say something.. but I do think it's her job to give me some pushes here and there when I need it. I've been trying to ask for that in round-about ways and it seems to be working.. she says shes willing to do what I ask. Hopefully she really does it. I dont want to have to switch therapists, but the way things are going, therapy just isnt helping.
Posted by wishingstar on March 14, 2006, at 22:46:33
In reply to Re: saw T today » wishingstar, posted by sleepygirl on March 14, 2006, at 21:54:07
No problem.. it's a great book.
You can see a couple of the illustrations here...
They really struck me.. it illustrates depression in a way I had never seen before. My T felt the same way.
:)
Posted by fairywings on March 14, 2006, at 23:36:52
In reply to saw T today, posted by wishingstar on March 14, 2006, at 21:41:21
I agree, there's nothing wrong with a straight forward approach when it comes to your T helping you "get it out" about how you're really feeling, esp. if that would make you feel more validated. It's so hard to switch T's, but so worth it when you find one who does make you feel validated, and makes it feel okay to have you're feelings. Even when it's a good match there are those times when it feels like you really didn't get what you need, and that feels crummy.fw
Posted by Emily Elizabeth on March 14, 2006, at 23:59:11
In reply to Re: saw T today » wishingstar, posted by fairywings on March 14, 2006, at 23:36:52
What an interesting book. It's interesting though b/c it is very different from my own experience of depression. I think of dogs as cute, loveable, and comforting.
My depression is nothing like that. Hmmm....I think my depression is more like a diseased rat that keeps biting at my feet and calves.
Best,
EE
Posted by TherapyGirl on March 15, 2006, at 8:58:36
In reply to Re: saw T today » wishingstar, posted by annierose on March 14, 2006, at 22:08:43
I agree, AnnieRose, and my T does the same kind of thing. WishingStar, I hope your T figures it out sooner rather than later.
It does sound like she's making an effort. I liked the vision of her reading the book to you.
Posted by wishingstar on March 15, 2006, at 19:00:54
In reply to Re: saw T today, posted by TherapyGirl on March 15, 2006, at 8:58:36
You're right.. she is definitely making an effort. I guess its good training for dealing with people in the "real world" who arent always perfect either.
Posted by wishingstar on March 15, 2006, at 19:02:18
In reply to Re: saw T today, posted by Emily Elizabeth on March 14, 2006, at 23:59:11
I really like the analogy you used with the diseased rat. I also love dogs and always have thought of them as comforting.. but I guess the language of the book let me see it in a different way. Sometimes it does feel more like a rat though!
Posted by wishingstar on March 15, 2006, at 19:04:20
In reply to Re: saw T today » wishingstar, posted by fairywings on March 14, 2006, at 23:36:52
If nothing else, I think its a good experience to help me learn to tell people what I really need. Those days when you fele like the T really does "get it" are the best.
Posted by TherapyGirl on March 15, 2006, at 20:55:04
In reply to Re: saw T today » TherapyGirl, posted by wishingstar on March 15, 2006, at 19:00:54
My therapist reminds me a lot that I need to give her room to be human. I know she's right, but it's hard to do.
Posted by milly on March 16, 2006, at 5:18:06
In reply to saw T today, posted by wishingstar on March 14, 2006, at 21:41:21
> I saw my T today. I really have a knack for bringing up the most important issues when we only have 5 minutes or so left.. and thats what I did today. Usually it just doesnt get talked about, but today the session ended up going 20 minutes over. Oops.
Oh I know that sooooo well, why do we do that thing of giving the most important issue barely enough time to get out of your mouth before it is time to go.
I'm soooo glad she could run over for you so that you could explore it, hope she takes it in.
I laughed out loud to think of you having 'story session' like a toddler! Did it feel good?
milly
Posted by wishingstar on March 18, 2006, at 20:53:07
In reply to Re: saw T today » wishingstar, posted by milly on March 16, 2006, at 5:18:06
During "story time" I really wasnt able to get into it.. it was just too funny at the time. But looking back, I wish I had opened myself up to it - I think I could have appreciated the feeling of being taken care of and cared about that was probably in the room. I just didnt let it in. I'm too good at being all intellectual sometimes.
Any why is it that we save the most important things until last?! Sometimes I feel like an hour just isnt enough! :)
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