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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 25 of 32. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by LegWarmers on January 11, 2006, at 13:50:54
would you be upset if someone suggested you get some therapy because they were concerned that you were having some problems?
I was and Im feeling terribly see-through now
Posted by sleepygirl on January 11, 2006, at 13:53:36
In reply to Am I being too sensitive?, posted by LegWarmers on January 11, 2006, at 13:50:54
depends for me on the 'spirit' of the suggestion, if you get my meaning?
Posted by LegWarmers on January 11, 2006, at 14:02:08
In reply to Re: Am I being too sensitive? » LegWarmers, posted by sleepygirl on January 11, 2006, at 13:53:36
> depends for me on the 'spirit' of the suggestion, if you get my meaning?
I know what you mean, it did feel a little condescending but maybe I was too sensitive, maybe no matter what was said I would have felt the same way. I started to cry which made it worse and on top of that totally embarrassing (in public).
But, IMO I don't know how I feel about people who don't know me well suggesting personal things like that. But maybe I have really lost it.
Posted by sleepygirl on January 11, 2006, at 14:08:34
In reply to Re: Am I being too sensitive? » sleepygirl, posted by LegWarmers on January 11, 2006, at 14:02:08
ehhhhh......I don't think you've lost it
keep in mind sometimes people don't know what to say, they're scared of strong emotions, they might be trying to be helpful, I don't know, I'll give 'em the benefit of the doubt, but yes if someone I didn't know said that to me my tendency also might be to take offense/get angry.That doesn't mean it's warranted by the way, but I can understand the sensitivity. You are far more than a "therapy patient" and maybe that's where the implication rubs the wrong way - no offense intended of course I've had a lot of therapy, but not everyone understands it - people are limited in their understanding so I'm a bit protective about it
Anyway.......what's going on?
Posted by LegWarmers on January 11, 2006, at 14:24:47
In reply to Re: Am I being too sensitive? » LegWarmers, posted by sleepygirl on January 11, 2006, at 14:08:34
> ehhhhh......I don't think you've lost it
> keep in mind sometimes people don't know what to say, they're scared of strong emotions, they might be trying to be helpful, I don't know, I'll give 'em the benefit of the doubt, but yes if someone I didn't know said that to me my tendency also might be to take offense/get angry.
>
> That doesn't mean it's warranted by the way, but I can understand the sensitivity. You are far more than a "therapy patient" and maybe that's where the implication rubs the wrong way - no offense intended of course I've had a lot of therapy, but not everyone understands it - people are limited in their understanding so I'm a bit protective about itBut to most people I am not a "therapy patient" because no one currently knows that Im in therapy, which made it hurt that much more, I felt like saying...well, ill let my T know you think that! Ive never realized my distress was so apparent before :(
>
> Anyway.......what's going on?I don't know, life is sh*t right now. I hate myself, I hate everything about me, I feel overly sensitive to everything, I feel stupid, I feel overall like I am suffocating.
It seems to be getting worse and when Im alone, Im miserable. I need to be with people, but I hate getting up lately.
I don't usually have these feelings, I have bad days, but not on and off like this and so intense. Or maybe I do, and Im all screwed up.
Posted by sleepygirl on January 11, 2006, at 14:36:47
In reply to Re: Am I being too sensitive? » sleepygirl, posted by LegWarmers on January 11, 2006, at 14:24:47
Well my T would ask me about the meds and I'd say "ENOUGH OF THE FREAKIN'MEDS OK!!" -that's what I'd like to say anyway, but I don't
....but seriously, I hate medication, I sincerely do, that's my stuff, sorryCan that be an issue for you?
Have you got things to look forward to? possibilities in life?
Posted by LegWarmers on January 11, 2006, at 14:47:47
In reply to Re: Am I being too sensitive? » LegWarmers, posted by sleepygirl on January 11, 2006, at 14:36:47
> Well my T would ask me about the meds and I'd say "ENOUGH OF THE FREAKIN'MEDS OK!!" -that's what I'd like to say anyway, but I don't
> ....but seriously, I hate medication, I sincerely do, that's my stuff, sorryMy stuff too
>
> Can that be an issue for you?It could be : ( I hope not, but Im going to go see my pdoc asap.
> Have you got things to look forward to? possibilities in life?grey hairs, sagging boobs, wrinkles um... ; )
I do, but right now Im afraid I will fail at everything.... I just feel stuck. A good idea would probably be be some AD's : (
My mind is in a bit of a state. I need to tell someone IRL whats happening before more people tell me to get my head checked, Im just embarrassed/afraid.
Posted by sleepygirl on January 11, 2006, at 14:52:51
In reply to Re: Am I being too sensitive? » sleepygirl, posted by LegWarmers on January 11, 2006, at 14:47:47
IRL can be tough
I'm going to therapy now coincidentally.
I'll see ya later, gotta go get my head checked :-)
(((LegWarmers))))
Posted by LegWarmers on January 11, 2006, at 14:54:12
In reply to Re: Am I being too sensitive? » LegWarmers, posted by sleepygirl on January 11, 2006, at 14:52:51
> IRL can be tough
> I'm going to therapy now coincidentally.
> I'll see ya later, gotta go get my head checked :-)
> (((LegWarmers))))Thanks Sleepy!
Posted by Damos on January 11, 2006, at 15:30:45
In reply to Re: Am I being too sensitive? » sleepygirl, posted by LegWarmers on January 11, 2006, at 14:54:12
Just checked my head in the mirror. Bugga, still a pumpkin. Here or here-abouts if ya wanna talk some.
(((((Legwarmers)))))
Posted by Emily Elizabeth on January 11, 2006, at 15:34:53
In reply to Am I being too sensitive?, posted by LegWarmers on January 11, 2006, at 13:50:54
I think that you can be upset initially, the question is whether you stay upset. And so much of that has to do with who the person was to you? A close friend or sister, or someone from work with whom you only have a professional relationship? I have had people cross professional boundary lines w/ me about getting therapy. It was manipulative and hurtful and I think I have every right to be upset with their misbehavior. On the other hand, I have had similar conversations w/ people I trusted and that felt very differently.
As for the question of how much you "wear your heart on your sleeve," I think it is really hard to know. People vary so much in their ability to tell how someone else is doing. People who tell me that they can see I'm doing much better when I'm much worse. Or people who don't notice when I'm sitting next to them and crying! I try to take a very cosmic POV on it: if they noticed perhaps someone needed to notice, you know?
Now this has nothing to do with whether you actually are crazy! Just kidding, only someone else who has been in the same spot can make such a joke! But seriously, I hope things look up soon.
Best,
EE
Posted by muffled on January 11, 2006, at 16:08:55
In reply to Re: Am I being too sensitive? » LegWarmers, posted by Emily Elizabeth on January 11, 2006, at 15:34:53
Aw LW thats hard when someone says that to you. Kinda rocks your world. Does sound like you struggling some. I hate the drugs too, but I was falling and my T suggested I might need to go back on AD and she was right. I'm on a low dose, resistant to taking more. Scared even.
But its helped me over this hump so far.
So far I'm doing ok. And the meds have helped. (zoloft and klonopin)
Take care LW, you seem real nice.
Muffled
Posted by LegWarmers on January 11, 2006, at 16:16:06
In reply to Re: Am I being too sensitive? » LegWarmers, posted by Damos on January 11, 2006, at 15:30:45
> Just checked my head in the mirror. Bugga, still a pumpkin. Here or here-abouts if ya wanna talk some.
>
> (((((Legwarmers)))))Thanks
your a sweet heart Damos
Posted by LegWarmers on January 11, 2006, at 16:31:19
In reply to Re: Am I being too sensitive? » LegWarmers, posted by Emily Elizabeth on January 11, 2006, at 15:34:53
> I think that you can be upset initially, the question is whether you stay upset. And so much of that has to do with who the person was to you? A close friend or sister, or someone from work with whom you only have a professional relationship?
It was an aquantaince who initially comented on me seeming agitated, I then explained that I had a lot on my mind. She said I seemed really distressed when I said that and that I looked sad. then she said that I seemed to have a lot on my mind and should consider talking to someone about it, was phrased a bit differnet. Now that I re-tell it it doenst sound as bad as it did initially but I think what I was feeling from her was her hesitation in saying exactly what she meant, her implication of "it", as though it were taboo, and you could see how awkward it was for her. i also was probably reacting to the fact that she picked up on it, I don't like that.
> I have had people cross professional boundary lines w/ me about getting therapy. It was manipulative and hurtful and I think I have every right to be upset with their misbehavior. On the other hand, I have had similar conversations w/ people I trusted and that felt very differently.
>
> As for the question of how much you "wear your heart on your sleeve," I think it is really hard to know. People vary so much in their ability to tell how someone else is doing. People who tell me that they can see I'm doing much better when I'm much worse. Or people who don't notice when I'm sitting next to them and crying! I try to take a very cosmic POV on it: if they noticed perhaps someone needed to notice, you know?Yeah, I know what you mean
>
> Now this has nothing to do with whether you actually are crazy!lmao
Just kidding, only someone else who has been in the same spot can make such a joke! But seriously, I hope things look up soon.
>
> Best,
> EEThanks!
Posted by LegWarmers on January 11, 2006, at 16:32:29
In reply to Re: Am I being too sensitive?, posted by muffled on January 11, 2006, at 16:08:55
> Aw LW thats hard when someone says that to you. Kinda rocks your world.
yeah, it totally did
>Does sound like you struggling some. I hate the drugs too, but I was falling and my T suggested I might need to go back on AD and she was right. I'm on a low dose, resistant to taking more. Scared even.
> But its helped me over this hump so far.
> So far I'm doing ok. And the meds have helped. (zoloft and klonopin)
> Take care LW, you seem real nice.
> MuffledThank you Muffled
Posted by LauraBeane on January 11, 2006, at 18:12:54
In reply to Am I being too sensitive?, posted by LegWarmers on January 11, 2006, at 13:50:54
Late to this thread but it reminds me of something that happened recently. I went out to the mailbox to get the mail just as the mailman was delivering. He walks up and comes way too close to me -- ostensibly to put the mail in the mailbox, but I was standing right there holding my hand out for it -- and he says, very intimately, "Are you OK? You look like you're really having a hard time." And then -- "Are you sure?"
Pardon me? I mean, he's my *mailman*.
Posted by gee on January 11, 2006, at 18:15:10
In reply to Re: Am I being too sensitive? » LegWarmers, posted by LauraBeane on January 11, 2006, at 18:12:54
I'm a bit late here also. I'm glad it doesn't look as bad now as it first did. It's never easy to hear that other people think you might need thearpy. But then again, at least they care enough to mention it. It can't be an easy subject to bring up.
Posted by fairywings on January 11, 2006, at 19:12:50
In reply to Am I being too sensitive?, posted by LegWarmers on January 11, 2006, at 13:50:54
Hi (((LW)))It would greatly depend on who said it and how they said it. for e.g. if my mother in law said it, I'd be offended bec. she's a total idiot. If a concerned friend said it in a kind and loving manner, then I'd probably be okay with it.
Are you okay?
fw> would you be upset if someone suggested you get some therapy because they were concerned that you were having some problems?
>
> I was and Im feeling terribly see-through now
>
>
Posted by fairywings on January 11, 2006, at 19:15:49
In reply to Re: Am I being too sensitive? » sleepygirl, posted by LegWarmers on January 11, 2006, at 14:47:47
> My mind is in a bit of a state. I need to tell someone IRL whats happening before more people tell me to get my head checked, Im just embarrassed/afraid.
>
>It is very hard to admit, even to a pdoc, that we are struggling, I know I just went through that, but if it will likely help then please try. You're so warm and kind, maybe the type of person who said it isn't worthy of being your friend.
fw
Posted by LegWarmers on January 11, 2006, at 21:00:38
In reply to Re: Am I being too sensitive? » LegWarmers, posted by LauraBeane on January 11, 2006, at 18:12:54
> Late to this thread but it reminds me of something that happened recently. I went out to the mailbox to get the mail just as the mailman was delivering. He walks up and comes way too close to me -- ostensibly to put the mail in the mailbox, but I was standing right there holding my hand out for it -- and he says, very intimately, "Are you OK? You look like you're really having a hard time." And then -- "Are you sure?"
>
> Pardon me? I mean, he's my *mailman*.OMG,
"no Im not ok, do you want to talk to me about all my problems" lol
Its very stragne when strangers pick up on things
Posted by LegWarmers on January 11, 2006, at 21:05:31
In reply to Re: Am I being too sensitive? Legwarmers, posted by gee on January 11, 2006, at 18:15:10
> I'm a bit late here also. I'm glad it doesn't look as bad now as it first did. It's never easy to hear that other people think you might need thearpy. But then again, at least they care enough to mention it. It can't be an easy subject to bring up.
>
>Yeah, and I think I was acting really disorganized, Maybe I did overreact a bit. You're right, at least she cared enough to say something.
Posted by LegWarmers on January 11, 2006, at 21:15:08
In reply to Re: Am I being too sensitive? » LegWarmers, posted by fairywings on January 11, 2006, at 19:12:50
>
> Hi (((LW)))
>
> It would greatly depend on who said it and how they said it. for e.g. if my mother in law said it, I'd be offended bec. she's a total idiot. If a concerned friend said it in a kind and loving manner, then I'd probably be okay with it.yeah, it does depend on the person, I seem to get my back up when people imply Im not strong enough to cope.
but...you know...no one would suggest therapy if they hadnt done it themselves lol> Are you okay?
> fwIm ok, just feeling sh*tty
Posted by LegWarmers on January 11, 2006, at 21:17:51
In reply to Re: Am I being too sensitive? » LegWarmers, posted by fairywings on January 11, 2006, at 19:15:49
> >
>
> It is very hard to admit, even to a pdoc, that we are struggling, I know I just went through that, but if it will likely help then please try. You're so warm and kind, maybe the type of person who said it isn't worthy of being your friend.
>
> fw
>
yeah, especially when we feel terrible, for some reason its harder for me to admit things when Im in the middle of it. Ill see my pdoc soon.
Thanks FW
Posted by daisym on January 12, 2006, at 0:06:42
In reply to Re: Am I being too sensitive? » fairywings, posted by LegWarmers on January 11, 2006, at 21:17:51
I have found that caring people suggest what has worked for them. So this acquantaince may have had a positive therapy experience.
And isn't it nice that she felt enough compassion to get involved? Don't be embarrassed that someone noticed you were suffering. If you saw someone's sadness fleet across their face, I bet you would extend some concern.
I'd like to share two experiences. Almost three years ago in late March, I was sitting in my office with the lights off, trying to decide which bridge to jump off of. Seriously. On of my work friends came in and said, "you need help. Please let me know what is happening." All could do was cry. But I swear, she saved me, just by sticking her nose in. She pushed and pulled and a few months later I was in therapy. But for so long I couldn't let down, I couldn't let anyone see but boy did I need a push towards helping myself.
Last year I hired a young woman to work on a new project. She moved to our area to get away from an abusive relationship. We were on a business trip together and she confided that she still had nightmares so she cried out in her sleep. She was embarrassed. I listened and asked her gently how she was helping herself heal. I shared a few ideas. A month later she burst into tears at work. I took her in my office, let her cry on my shoulder and hooked her up with a woman's group. This December she wrote me the most beautiful poem and told me that I was the first person to ever care enough to offer help. I was astonished. And reminded one more time that we never know when a small action on our part makes a huge difference to someone else.
I just wanted to offer a different perspective. I wish you weren't hurting so much.
Hugs,
Daisy
Posted by LauraBeane on January 12, 2006, at 8:28:30
In reply to Re: Am I being too sensitive? » LauraBeane, posted by LegWarmers on January 11, 2006, at 21:00:38
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