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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 14 of 14. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by muffled on December 23, 2005, at 16:55:59
I get up this AM, and go out to the living room where the kids are playing. My 9 yr old looks deeply into my eyes, no doubt wondering, whats Mom gonna be like today? Is she ok?
I am soaking my feet in the sink cuz they are cold. My 6 yr old comes in, I tilt my legs to hide the stitches on my ankle, she laughs and says Mom you got hair on your leg. I jump out and yank on my sox.
I am a nightmare. I am in a nightmare.
Am I hurting those I love most?
My soul is shrivelling and dying inside.
Muffled
Posted by happyflower on December 23, 2005, at 17:38:23
In reply to ***TRIGGER***Am I wrecking my kids?, posted by muffled on December 23, 2005, at 16:55:59
Our kids are sensitive to our moods and what we do but they are also very resilent too. I am sure the younger one was just saying what kids say, and you know they say exactly what they are thinking. Stiches do look like hairs, ya know!
From what you have said on the boards it seems like you are good mother and caring, so I think you are being too hard on yourself.
If you haven't discussed your ankle with your kids, the older one is probably worried about what happend, because you are his mother. I can understand you are sensitive to it, I can image that it might bring some gulit you have. I am not sure, just guessing. I would be more worried about you reactions to their reaction. But you seem to me to be a good mother, you are doing fine. The fact that you even are asking this tells me how good of a mother you are.
I have my doubts from time to time too. My kids pick up on my moods too, and there is nothing you can do about it. Because they see it if you try to BS your way through it. This is why I am having a hard time this Christmas trying to appear happy, when I am so sad inside, because I know this is our last "family " CHristmas. (((((Muffy)))))
Posted by muffled on December 23, 2005, at 17:41:30
In reply to ((((((Muffled)))))))), posted by happyflower on December 23, 2005, at 17:38:23
Posted by alexandra_k on December 23, 2005, at 17:57:35
In reply to ***TRIGGER***Am I wrecking my kids?, posted by muffled on December 23, 2005, at 16:55:59
nah sweetie.
just remember to give em hugs and tell em that ya love them :-)
Posted by happyflower on December 23, 2005, at 21:17:54
In reply to ((((((Muffled)))))))), posted by happyflower on December 23, 2005, at 17:38:23
Just hope you are okay. Have a peaceful holiday, okay! :) ((((((Muffy))))
Posted by fairywings on December 23, 2005, at 21:27:13
In reply to ***TRIGGER***Am I wrecking my kids?, posted by muffled on December 23, 2005, at 16:55:59
(((muffled))) I agree, just the fact that you are worried about your kids is good. If you didn't care, that would be a problem. Kids pick up on how we feel because they love us. As long as they know how much you love them, and you show them how much you love them with your affection, that will probably be exactly what they need.
fw
Posted by daisym on December 24, 2005, at 0:45:03
In reply to ***TRIGGER***Am I wrecking my kids?, posted by muffled on December 23, 2005, at 16:55:59
I think kids deserve the best we can give them. Sometimes our best isn't as good as we wish but it is still our best. This is what we ask of our kids, so this is all we can ask of ourselves.
I think you can just say "mommy hurt herself" without giving them the details about how it happened. And you can tell them you are sad, or sick or whatever. Use words they can understand but ones that don't frighten them. Hug them often, sit with them during meals and tuck them in at night.
Don't be too hard on yourself. They just want their mom to be happy.
Posted by Poet on December 24, 2005, at 10:17:05
In reply to ***TRIGGER***Am I wrecking my kids?, posted by muffled on December 23, 2005, at 16:55:59
Hi Muffled,
I don't have kids, but having grown up in a messed up family, I think that your recognizing how your issues impact your family shows that you are doing everything you can not to wreck your kids.
(((((Muffled))))))
Poet
Posted by muffled on December 24, 2005, at 15:10:04
In reply to Re: ***TRIGGER***Am I wrecking my kids?, posted by alexandra_k on December 23, 2005, at 17:57:35
Posted by muffled on December 24, 2005, at 15:11:49
In reply to Hey Muffy, how ya doing?, posted by happyflower on December 23, 2005, at 21:17:54
Posted by muffled on December 24, 2005, at 15:20:32
In reply to Re: ***TRIGGER***Am I wrecking my kids? » muffled, posted by fairywings on December 23, 2005, at 21:27:13
> (((muffled))) I agree, just the fact that you are worried about your kids is good. If you didn't care, that would be a problem. Kids pick up on how we feel because they love us. As long as they know how much you love them, and you show them how much you love them with your affection, that will probably be exactly what they need.
>
> fw
Thanks FW. I think they know i love them. Sometimes I find it hard to be with the younger one because she is so demanding. I just don't have the energy to work with her. I just don't want them to turn out like me.
Thanks for the reassurance.
Muffled
Posted by muffled on December 24, 2005, at 15:22:57
In reply to Re: ***TRIGGER***Am I wrecking my kids?, posted by daisym on December 24, 2005, at 0:45:03
> I think kids deserve the best we can give them. Sometimes our best isn't as good as we wish but it is still our best. This is what we ask of our kids, so this is all we can ask of ourselves.
>
> I think you can just say "mommy hurt herself" without giving them the details about how it happened. And you can tell them you are sad, or sick or whatever. Use words they can understand but ones that don't frighten them. Hug them often, sit with them during meals and tuck them in at night.
>
> Don't be too hard on yourself. They just want their mom to be happy.***And I want them to be happy. Sometimes its just so hard isn't it?
Thanks Daisy,
Muffled
Posted by muffled on December 24, 2005, at 15:25:08
In reply to Re: ***TRIGGER***Am I wrecking my kids? » muffled, posted by Poet on December 24, 2005, at 10:17:05
> Hi Muffled,
>
> I don't have kids, but having grown up in a messed up family, I think that your recognizing how your issues impact your family shows that you are doing everything you can not to wreck your kids.
>
> (((((Muffled))))))
>
> Poet
***Thanks poet for your reply. It means alot comming from the other direction.
I really love my kids.
Muffled
Posted by Tamar on December 24, 2005, at 21:20:38
In reply to ***TRIGGER***Am I wrecking my kids?, posted by muffled on December 23, 2005, at 16:55:59
Sorry, I haven't read the whole thread...
Just wanted to say: you are a wonderful parent and you are not wrecking your kids. You love your kids. That's what they need most. None of us are perfect. But your kids adore you and it's clear that you adore them. That's the number one priority for kids. As long as you love them they'll be able to handle the rest.
Hope you have a lovely holiday... I hope you really enjoy it. If possible, spend it in pink leather jeans!
Love you lots! I'll be thinking of you tomorrow.
Tamar
This is the end of the thread.
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