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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 24 of 24. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Dinah on July 17, 2005, at 10:34:40
I considered it briefly, but just took a Risperdal instead.
I'm really really sad about that.
Does it matter whether he terminates me or I drift away? Either way isn't it a loss of such monumental proportions that I'm not sure it's bearable?
Posted by Shortelise on July 17, 2005, at 12:39:42
In reply to I felt really bad Friday night and didn't call., posted by Dinah on July 17, 2005, at 10:34:40
Dinah,
Oh, my dear, this stuff is just so hard.
Is there any great wisdom that would make a difference? I keep hoping there is - there have been moments of great understanding that have made a difference in my life.
Dinah, I have to believe that the contented times I experience are the core of my life. And right this moment, as I write this, I realize that it used to be that sadness was my center, was what gave form to my life. Now that's no longer the case. Hm.
Please don't just drift away. Not as sad as you are, not filled with regret and guilt about myriad things.
Sorry for projecting my feelings and thought about my own situation on to yours. If there's a fit there anywhere for you, maybe it'll help.
ShortE
Posted by cricket on July 17, 2005, at 12:56:16
In reply to I felt really bad Friday night and didn't call., posted by Dinah on July 17, 2005, at 10:34:40
Hi Dinah,
It's good to see you posting a bit again.
I have never gotten to the bond, the attachment
that you've reached in therapy. And I probably never will. So it's hard for me to understand.But I do feel your sadness, your loss.
Perhaps it's just a stage. Have you ever felt like this before with him?
I wish I knew what to say :(
All of a sudden, I am going through a bad time too. I am seeing my therapist's good points, his knowledge, his insight, perhaps even his caring and the only thing that I want to do is flee, flee, flee.
I could barely sit through my last session. He had to say, "C'mon just a couple of minutes more. We're almost done."
Now this week the only thing I can think about is how to get away from him - tell him I need a couple of months off, tell him I am switching to every other week, tell him I think I am finished. Anything, anything, anything so he doesn't have to see me.
In fact, I can't stand seeing anybody right now. I want to lock myself away in a closet.
Strangely enough he thinks that I am in a really good place right now. So maybe now is the time to leave. He thinks that he's been successful. I would never want to take that away from him. I need to get out now before he realizes otherwise.
Sorry for making this all about me. It just seems like our issues are mirror images of each other in some way.
Posted by Poet on July 17, 2005, at 13:22:26
In reply to I felt really bad Friday night and didn't call., posted by Dinah on July 17, 2005, at 10:34:40
Hi Dinah,
I think there is a difference between drifting away and being terminated. Drifting away is your choice, being terminated isn't. My T told me that she's only terminated a few clients and it was due to boundary issues. She said that if I leave therapy, I have to *fire* her- in other words drift away, more likely speed away.
I don't have a close bond with her, like you do with your T, so I know my situation is different. I don't really know what to tell you, I wish I did.
(((((Dinah))))))
Poet
Posted by fallsfall on July 17, 2005, at 13:37:58
In reply to I felt really bad Friday night and didn't call., posted by Dinah on July 17, 2005, at 10:34:40
>>Does it matter whether he terminates me or I drift away?
These are not the only two options, Dinah.
Posted by Jazzed on July 17, 2005, at 15:01:21
In reply to I felt really bad Friday night and didn't call., posted by Dinah on July 17, 2005, at 10:34:40
> I considered it briefly, but just took a Risperdal instead.
>
> I'm really really sad about that.
>
> Does it matter whether he terminates me or I drift away? Either way isn't it a loss of such monumental proportions that I'm not sure it's bearable?
When's your next appt? Sounds like you need to talk to your T about the sadness and fear of abandonment. I'm sure he won't terminate you! You've been together too long.
Jazzy
Posted by Dinah on July 17, 2005, at 15:05:11
In reply to I felt really bad Friday night and didn't call., posted by Dinah on July 17, 2005, at 10:34:40
It feels different somehow from other times I felt disconnected. There's no energy in this.
It's more...
Eh. Why bother. I'll tell him what's wrong. He'll say xxxx, I'll answer yyyyy, he'll respond zzzzz. He can't really help. I'll just do the whole conversation in my head and be done with it.
I've wanted to cancel whole sessions because it just didn't seem worth the cost and expense.
There may also be a bit of the fact that his flaws seem ever so much more evident than they have for years. Not horrible flaws. Just dissatisfying ones.
I don't want this. I've fought against it. It's lonely and it s*cks.
Posted by Jazzed on July 17, 2005, at 17:22:30
In reply to Re: I felt really bad Friday night and didn't call, posted by Dinah on July 17, 2005, at 15:05:11
Posted by pinkeye on July 17, 2005, at 17:35:48
In reply to Re: I felt really bad Friday night and didn't call, posted by Dinah on July 17, 2005, at 15:05:11
Maybe you ought to take a break from him and try a new T.. it might give you some new perspective.
Posted by Dinah on July 17, 2005, at 19:39:23
In reply to Re: I felt really bad Friday night and didn't call » Dinah, posted by pinkeye on July 17, 2005, at 17:35:48
I have no interest in another therapist. If I didn't see him, I wouldn't see anyone.
Posted by happyflower on July 17, 2005, at 21:12:11
In reply to Re: I felt really bad Friday night and didn't call » pinkeye, posted by Dinah on July 17, 2005, at 19:39:23
Posted by annierose on July 17, 2005, at 21:54:01
In reply to I felt really bad Friday night and didn't call., posted by Dinah on July 17, 2005, at 10:34:40
Dinah -
What do you feel bad about? It sounds as you feel less dependant on him, and that scares you? Not sure. Even if that is true, he is still your rock, your 2 legs on that stool, your major source of support. He will be there for you for all parts of Dinah, even when she doesn't need to lean on him too strongly at the moment.
Or ... did I read that all wrong and you felt badly that you feel he couldn't help you on Friday night?
Either way, I'm sorry you had a rough Friday. And I hope when you see him next, you'll feel those good feelings once again.
Annierose
Posted by LadyBug on July 17, 2005, at 22:21:41
In reply to I felt really bad Friday night and didn't call., posted by Dinah on July 17, 2005, at 10:34:40
I don't know why you feel bad right now. Could your T help you work through it? Or is he part of it? If you are struggling with terminating or leaving because of the pain, I can understand as I've been there sooooo many times. I was there in March this year. I thought the whole therapy process was nothing but crap!!! To have your heart professionally broken!!! I shouldn't say anything unless I understand where the pain is coming from.
If you want to explain it to me, I'd be happy to try to help you.
I'm sorry you're hurting....
(((((((Dinah))))))LadyBug
Posted by Jen Star on July 17, 2005, at 22:57:13
In reply to I felt really bad Friday night and didn't call., posted by Dinah on July 17, 2005, at 10:34:40
hi Dinah,
does not calling indicate that you are drifting away? Could it mean that you wanted to be in control and to solve it without him?Were you sad about taking the risperdal, or sad about not calling? (or both?)
JenStar
Posted by Dinah on July 18, 2005, at 0:06:01
In reply to Re: I felt really bad Friday night and didn't call. » Dinah, posted by Jen Star on July 17, 2005, at 22:57:13
I know that it doesn't sound all that logical. It's supposed to be a good thing to need your therapist less. But it's not a good thing to me. It's supposed to be the end result of therapy. But I don't want an end result.
I'm not like most other people who see therapy as having an end.
Posted by Jen Star on July 18, 2005, at 1:43:11
In reply to Re: I felt really bad Friday night and didn't call, posted by Dinah on July 18, 2005, at 0:06:01
I don't think there's anything wrong with lifetime therapy, if it continues to help you, and you enjoy it. I mean, life is difficult. If you have the desire and the means to continue therapy, you should do it! :) That said, I'm sorry that you feel disengaged, or that things are changing. I wish I could help somehow. I hope that whatever happens, it makes you happier in the long run. take care! Keep posting if you feel up to it.
((dinah))
JenStar
Posted by Jazzed on July 18, 2005, at 8:22:15
In reply to Re: I felt really bad Friday night and didn't call, posted by Dinah on July 18, 2005, at 0:06:01
> I know that it doesn't sound all that logical. It's supposed to be a good thing to need your therapist less. But it's not a good thing to me. It's supposed to be the end result of therapy. But I don't want an end result.
>
> I'm not like most other people who see therapy as having an end.When you originally posted, I was thinking that it sounded like you'd internalized your T to a great degree. BUT, that doesn't mean it has to end, maybe it just means you don't need to call him between sessions.
Hope you're feeling better!
(((hugs))))
Jazzy
Posted by LadyBug on July 18, 2005, at 8:59:41
In reply to I felt really bad Friday night and didn't call., posted by Dinah on July 17, 2005, at 10:34:40
I must be feeling some what like you. I know therapy might be coming to an end. Do I terminate or fade away???? I have an appointment with my T. in a few hours and I'm going to talk to her about it. I don't want it to end. I can't bare to tell her goodbye. She means too much to me.
I'm with you on this one. It's hard. I know I'm in control of when this ends. I need her in my life. She is the one that cares about me when no one else will.
I'm sure you know what I'm talking about.
I hope things work out for you and you can talk it over with your T.
Posted by shrinking violet on July 18, 2005, at 13:11:28
In reply to Re: I felt really bad Friday night and didn't call, posted by Dinah on July 17, 2005, at 15:05:11
{{{{{{{{{{{{{Dinah}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
Sorry, all I can offer right now, but I hope it provides some comfort.
sv
Posted by Dinah on July 18, 2005, at 20:11:00
In reply to Re: I felt really bad Friday night and didn't call » Dinah, posted by LadyBug on July 18, 2005, at 8:59:41
Yeah, it sounds like we're in a similar place.
It's a sad lonely place, isn't it?
Posted by Dinah on July 18, 2005, at 20:16:51
In reply to {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Dinah}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}, posted by shrinking violet on July 18, 2005, at 13:11:28
And today I found out that there is a potential problem at work, or even worse, tangentially related to work, but I'm sort of on my own with the problem. The office isn't involved. Although they've taken pity on me and are trying to help me with it anyway.
The good news is that it looks like the problem will work itself out. The bad news is that it will take a little while to do it. And if it doesn't I'll have to make some choices that will make *someone* mad, no matter what I do.
I'm a nervous wreck. Not only because of this problem, but because of the reminder that things can blow up at any time. Going from not knowing there's a problem and being happily oblivious, and having a problem. With no warning whatsoever.
No wonder I'm afraid of life, and of having things.
I actually called my therapist this time, but when he wasn't in didn't bother to leave a message. After all, what can he do?
Posted by Poet on July 18, 2005, at 21:40:43
In reply to Thanks everyone, posted by Dinah on July 18, 2005, at 20:16:51
Hi Dinah,
Why does everything hit at once? A less negative person would say you aren't given more than you can stand. Being negative, I say, enough is enough! I'm sorry that you are in a bad place. I hope if you need to connect with your T, that you are able to.
We're here. At least to listen.
Poet
Posted by Poet on July 18, 2005, at 21:41:46
In reply to Re: Thanks everyone, posted by Poet on July 18, 2005, at 21:40:43
Posted by Dinah on July 18, 2005, at 21:55:27
In reply to above for Dinah, I forgot to put your name, sorry (nm), posted by Poet on July 18, 2005, at 21:41:46
It checks itself when it is not supposed to, and evades us when it is needed.
I'm trying to stay distracted. I don't like the level of agitation I'm feeling. It sometimes leads me to foolish actions. :(
This is the end of the thread.
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