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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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Posted by Aphrodite on June 16, 2005, at 19:40:19
and both are horrible.
Being such a constant mess, I've done better in therapy since I moved to twice a week. I'm even better with three. As my T notes, I "ice over" when I'm away too long, and he has to re-melt me.
So, during this time, insurance paid for one session and I paid for the others. HOWEVER, I am being sued by an ex-employee. Not my workplace, mind you, this is a personal suit. All of my disposable (ha!) income now is being diverted to mounting legal bills.
Insurance will not pay for more than once a week. In fact, they said if I need more help then once a week, I should be in an outpatient hospital program.
So for at least the next 2 months, I can only go once a week. But I will just twiddle my thumbs. I will not open up knowing that I won't have the support of any aftermath for another whole week. (I'm pretty shaky -- I need a lot of support from my T. Sigh.) And of course, during this lawsuit, I would need more support than ever.
My T offered to do a second session for free, and I could pay him back "slowly whenever." Unacceptable. More debt and more indebtedness to him.
He thought I should just try to make the best of once a week. But we both know I will be stalled and frustrated. He said we couldn't work on the significant "big" issues we were just beginning to make headway in.
My proposal was to not come for 8 weeks. The suit would be over by then. I could use the accumulated insurance-approved sessions to go more than once a week and have actual meaningful therapy. But the thought of have no support for 2 months has made me cry every night since I found out. I know I would revert to my old, self-sufficient, emotionally dead ways just to endure. I'm very attached to my T. :(
I feel cursed. Which would you choose -- once a week or the two month break? Thanks for any help you can give.
Posted by Dinah on June 16, 2005, at 19:47:54
In reply to I have only two choices . . ., posted by Aphrodite on June 16, 2005, at 19:40:19
I'd choose once a week. Going for two months during a lawsuit without support would be scary as heck for me.
Well, to be truthful, I'd probably go into more debt. Makes you a less desirable target for the attorneys anyway. :(
I'm so sorry to hear about the lawsuit. That's got to be incredibly stressful, no matter how it turns out.
Posted by Emily Elizabeth on June 16, 2005, at 22:35:49
In reply to Re: I have only two choices . . . » Aphrodite, posted by Dinah on June 16, 2005, at 19:47:54
Posted by gardenergirl on June 16, 2005, at 22:51:27
In reply to Re: I have only two choices . . . » Aphrodite, posted by Dinah on June 16, 2005, at 19:47:54
Oh gosh, what a difficult situation. I think I do understand wanting to be able to keep working at a level that feels productive to you. And I can see how that would be hard at a slower pace.
I think I would advise against going without for eight weeks, especially in the course of a difficult lawsuit. I would hope you would be able to get support during that time.
I'm sorry that this awful stressor (the lawsuit) is affecting your therapy. It stinks to have to take a break or slow down when you are feeling inspired to work. I think that keeping the relationship going at some level, though, will help you to move forward again when the time is right.
I so wish that money were not a factor in therapy. Grrrr.
I'm sorry this is happening to you.
gg
Posted by daisym on June 16, 2005, at 23:42:41
In reply to Re: I have only two choices . . ., posted by gardenergirl on June 16, 2005, at 22:51:27
I swear our lives are on parrellel courses, are you sure you aren't me??
Sorry -- I think I'd echo the going once a week, but how about this...your therapist usually does 75 minutes sessions, right? How about breaking it up into two 40 minute sessions and billing for one? Or 50 plus a phone call? And, I think you should journal in-between and bring in the journal pages so you can get started right away and not have to spend 15 minutes "melting" first. We use this technique on Mondays because it is so hard for me to get restarted but then I dump stuff out the last 10 minutes.
I've spent way too much time with lawyers lately so I know how stressful that is. It was hard for me to bring this stuff into my therapy too, the younger parts of me felt so invaded and upset. But I needed support around it (still do) so we HAVE to take turns. I'm glad this is relatively short lived for you.
I agree with GG, money shouldn't be an issue. But I'd still rather have this than University, time-limited free therapy.
Hang in there.
Posted by Jazzed on June 16, 2005, at 23:56:26
In reply to I have only two choices . . ., posted by Aphrodite on June 16, 2005, at 19:40:19
Posted by Aphrodite on June 17, 2005, at 17:57:25
In reply to I have only two choices . . ., posted by Aphrodite on June 16, 2005, at 19:40:19
My T is so thoughtful. He contacted my insurance company and obtained additional sessions for at least a month. So, I can put the worry off for another 4 weeks, and at that point, taking off for a month doesn't sound as hopeless to me as two months for some reason. He called to say he wanted me to have the news so I could rest a little easier over the weekend.
Of course, I always rain on my own parades. Why am I pleased? Shouldn't I be dismayed or at the very least concerned that I have this much dependency on therapy? Shouldn't I be worried that even once a week seems like a lifeline being cut? I'm feeling rather ashamed of myself . . . and relieved.
Posted by gardenergirl on June 17, 2005, at 21:28:57
In reply to Woo-hoo!, posted by Aphrodite on June 17, 2005, at 17:57:25
That's wonderful news!
And here's an umbrella. It's good to be attached, because it allows you to do the work.
No raining on this parade!
Strike up the band!
gg
Posted by Dinah on June 17, 2005, at 23:39:12
In reply to Woo-hoo!, posted by Aphrodite on June 17, 2005, at 17:57:25
I'm so glad it turned out better than you had feared. And that your therapist was so solidly on your side. :)
Posted by 10derHeart on June 18, 2005, at 0:13:51
In reply to Woo-hoo!, posted by Aphrodite on June 17, 2005, at 17:57:25
That's so wonderful. I hated reading all the stress you felt, sort of backed up against a wall. You keep up this amazingly hard work. It's an awesome thing you and your T. are doing together.
Always makes me smile to read your posts when you are up to coming here :-)
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