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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 6 to 30 of 34. Go back in thread:
Posted by Jazzed on May 29, 2005, at 22:10:13
In reply to Re: How long in therapy?, posted by Daisym on May 29, 2005, at 20:20:15
> I marked two years last week. When I started it was once a week and *I* thought I'd only need a few sessions to sort stuff out.
>
> He simply said each week, "do you want to come back again?" And I did.
>
> At the end of summer, I finally started to tell him the hard stuff. And I started to ask, "is this taking too long? Are you sick of this?" He always answered no and he always said, and still says, "it takes as long as it takes. I'm with you to the end."
>
> We've talked about the fact that when I started therapy I did not tell him about my childhood. I had no intention of ever opening that up. I've said a couple of times, "I'm sorry. You didn't sign up for this, did you?" He reassures me that you never know what you are going to find when you start working with someone in therapy. So he never knows what he is getting into. And he points out that he is known for doing long term therapy, so 2 years is nothing...
>
> I worry anyway.Wow, they all sound like keepers. I hope I'm as lucky to find someone as kind and who can get me through my stuff.
Jazzy
Posted by rainbowbrite on May 29, 2005, at 22:18:11
In reply to How long in therapy?, posted by Jazzed on May 29, 2005, at 18:14:17
When I went in and asked how long it would take to fix my problem I was told 6-12 weeks....Uhh nope, never really sorted it out, so I left. I did give it several months though.
Posted by Poet on May 29, 2005, at 23:06:00
In reply to How long in therapy?, posted by Jazzed on May 29, 2005, at 18:14:17
Hi Jazz,
Three years in August. I knew I needed it long before that, but never had the courage to see anybody.
I barely have the courage to talk now, so how long will it take, who knows. Definitely, not me.
Poet
Posted by sleepygirl on May 29, 2005, at 23:11:52
In reply to How long in therapy?, posted by Jazzed on May 29, 2005, at 18:14:17
I think it was 1999-I came in and said, "You know what I don't think I really need to be here, I'm OK." So I guess it's been about 6 years, same therapist, still working hard
Posted by Tamar on May 30, 2005, at 5:45:00
In reply to How long in therapy?, posted by Jazzed on May 29, 2005, at 18:14:17
Ah, I just saw this thread, having said something about this in a previous thread.
So yeah, I was in therapy for six months; I finished two months ago. At our first meeting my T said it would probably take about six sessions, and then in about the fourth session I realised there was some other stuff I needed to talk about... so it took about three times as long as we originally expected. And I'd probably still be doing it if my T were one of these long-term therapy Ts. Having said that, I think we found a good place to terminate.
Posted by Jazzed on May 30, 2005, at 8:46:22
In reply to Re: How long in therapy? » Jazzed, posted by Poet on May 29, 2005, at 23:06:00
> Hi Jazz,
>
> Three years in August. I knew I needed it long before that, but never had the courage to see anybody.
>
> I barely have the courage to talk now, so how long will it take, who knows. Definitely, not me.
>
> PoetI'm glad you were able to get the courage to go, but I'm sorry it's so difficult to talk.
If you don't mind my asking, what did you go for, and how did you finally make that call? I think I will finally make the call tomorrow. I won't be offended if you don't want to say what took you there.Jazzed
Posted by Jazzed on May 30, 2005, at 8:47:52
In reply to Re: How long in therapy?, posted by Tamar on May 30, 2005, at 5:45:00
> Ah, I just saw this thread, having said something about this in a previous thread.
>
> So yeah, I was in therapy for six months; I finished two months ago. At our first meeting my T said it would probably take about six sessions, and then in about the fourth session I realised there was some other stuff I needed to talk about... so it took about three times as long as we originally expected. And I'd probably still be doing it if my T were one of these long-term therapy Ts. Having said that, I think we found a good place to terminate.
>
>Wow, you are brave to end so quickly. I do worry about developing dependence, so I will ask if it's likely I'll be done quickly.
Jazzed
Posted by Jazzed on May 30, 2005, at 8:49:32
In reply to Re: How long in therapy?, posted by sleepygirl on May 29, 2005, at 23:11:52
> I think it was 1999-I came in and said, "You know what I don't think I really need to be here, I'm OK." So I guess it's been about 6 years, same therapist, still working hard
LOL, I think even if we don't need it, anyone can use therapy. I have two of my kids in T, and I'm sure the youngest will need it one day. I can definitely use it, and I think it makes anyone, who has a good T, stronger. It's the people who won't go, who need it, who should go the most.
Posted by frida on May 30, 2005, at 9:06:41
In reply to How long in therapy?, posted by Jazzed on May 29, 2005, at 18:14:17
Hi there--
I've been in T for more than 4 years, almost 5 I think.
I don't expect to end therapy anytime soon. It took me a looooooong time to be able to say a word. The first years I spent most of the time silent, crying, and falling apart after my session...and building trust.It took me a long time to build trust and feel safe, and to feel that my T's caring was genuine and real and that it was safe to trust.
I knew she did long-term therapy-
i started T because I couldn't stand the hurt inside anymore. I had been abused and never shared that with anyone. It took me a year to disclose it to her and more to talk, now i'm talking about it finally- with lots of difficulty.
I feel grateful and blessed to have found her- I know she'll be forever in my heart and life somehow.I feel that even some years from now, I will continue seeing her, maybe not once a week as now, but I'll definitely keep in touch and see her. I love her so much - I can't imagine her not being in my life after all we've shared.
Good luck, I hope you find a wonderful, caring therapist.
love
frida> I know from a previous thread that Dinah's been in T for 10 years. Happy Anniv. Dinah! ; )
> Anyway, how long for others? Happyflower, Tamar, ShortE....anyone else? Did any of you ask in the beginning how long T usually takes?
>
> Jazzed
Posted by Miss Honeychurch on May 30, 2005, at 9:53:27
In reply to Re: How long in therapy?, posted by Daisym on May 29, 2005, at 20:20:15
Almost 2 years. I hope by next summer I'll be out of it.
Posted by sleepygirl on May 30, 2005, at 14:05:02
In reply to Re: How long in therapy? » Jazzed, posted by Poet on May 29, 2005, at 23:06:00
Hello,
I too continue to have difficulty talking, very often things don't seem 'important' enough to mention. I thought I needed it a long time before I went. It took a lot to start going though, and I had weathered some pretty hard times in the meantime. I don't know how long it will be for me either. It's been six freakin' years and I still feel like I need it!
Posted by sleepygirl on May 30, 2005, at 14:06:46
In reply to Re: How long in therapy? » Poet, posted by Jazzed on May 30, 2005, at 8:46:22
sorry forgot to mention the above post was in response to Poet
Posted by Jazzed on May 30, 2005, at 22:12:30
In reply to Re: How long in therapy?, posted by sleepygirl on May 30, 2005, at 14:05:02
> Hello,
> I too continue to have difficulty talking, very often things don't seem 'important' enough to mention. I thought I needed it a long time before I went. It took a lot to start going though, and I had weathered some pretty hard times in the meantime. I don't know how long it will be for me either. It's been six freakin' years and I still feel like I need it!
Same T? Wow, you have courage girl! ; )
Posted by Larry Hoover on May 30, 2005, at 22:14:36
In reply to How long in therapy?, posted by Jazzed on May 29, 2005, at 18:14:17
Ummm....7 years? Same guy. Plus some others added in now and again. Can't get too much therapy, in my opinion.
Lar
Posted by sleepygirl on May 30, 2005, at 22:49:39
In reply to Re: How long in therapy? » sleepygirl, posted by Jazzed on May 30, 2005, at 22:12:30
thanks. I think it's really that I just can't stand the separation. I tend to like really stable predictable relationships. My life has been a series of transitions, i.e. going through school, school to career, job to job, ridiculous amounts of anxiety. I can't believe the things I do despite myself. But whose life isn't a series of transitions?
Posted by Jazzed on May 31, 2005, at 6:15:31
In reply to Re: How long in therapy? » Jazzed, posted by Larry Hoover on May 30, 2005, at 22:14:36
> Ummm....7 years? Same guy. Plus some others added in now and again. Can't get too much therapy, in my opinion.
>
> LarHey Lar, your T must be a keeper. I agree, can't get too much therapy.
Jazzed
Posted by Jazzed on May 31, 2005, at 6:16:29
In reply to Re: How long in therapy?jazzed, posted by sleepygirl on May 30, 2005, at 22:49:39
> thanks. I think it's really that I just can't stand the separation. I tend to like really stable predictable relationships. My life has been a series of transitions, i.e. going through school, school to career, job to job, ridiculous amounts of anxiety. I can't believe the things I do despite myself. But whose life isn't a series of transitions?
Hey sleepy,
You sound a lot like me!
Jazzed
Posted by antigua on May 31, 2005, at 14:49:29
In reply to How long in therapy?, posted by Jazzed on May 29, 2005, at 18:14:17
14 years, yes, that's 14 YEARS! and proud of it. I do see an end in sight, but just not sure how long it will take to get there.
antigua
Posted by LadyBug on June 1, 2005, at 0:14:35
In reply to Re: How long in therapy?, posted by antigua on May 31, 2005, at 14:49:29
On my first appointment, my T. told me she could help me in 4 to 6 visits.........did she say that so I wouldn't be overwhelmed???? Cuz it's been almost 8 1/2 years now!! With the same wonderful T. Man did I have a lot of issues to work on and still do!!!!
Am I glad I stuck it out?? I wonder sometimes. I know I've grown a ton, but it has been painful in the process. I think that hard parts are when you want to depend on your T. and love her and it feels so wrong!! Unrecipricated love hurts!! And a realtionship that will never be anything outside the office walls. Whah...LadyBug
Posted by bent on June 1, 2005, at 7:11:35
In reply to How long in therapy?, posted by Jazzed on May 29, 2005, at 18:14:17
Three years next month. I have issues with feeling like i have been in therapy too long, or that I am going too slow, and of course that my T will get sick of me. Perhaps because when we started I said I was only planning on 6-8 weeks...yeah right. More like 6-8 years! :)
Posted by gardenergirl on June 1, 2005, at 11:22:42
In reply to Re: How long in therapy?, posted by bent on June 1, 2005, at 7:11:35
I'm going on two years, and we just increased from weekly to twice a week.
I'm like Poet in that I've known for a long time that I needed to go, but I never got the courage and felt ready until two years ago.
I knew once I started that it would be long term, but it is time-limited in that once I graduate, I can no longer see him. :( So I have about one more year available to me.
gg
Posted by Jazzed on June 1, 2005, at 17:40:28
In reply to Re: How long in therapy?, posted by LadyBug on June 1, 2005, at 0:14:35
Hey Ladybug, you have to know though that, after 8 1/2 years, she has to have feelings for you. Maybe not reciprocated love, but I'm sure at least a fondness. Sounds like a good relationship.
Jazzed
Posted by Jazzed on June 1, 2005, at 17:42:54
In reply to Re: How long in therapy? » bent, posted by gardenergirl on June 1, 2005, at 11:22:42
> I'm going on two years, and we just increased from weekly to twice a week.
>
> I'm like Poet in that I've known for a long time that I needed to go, but I never got the courage and felt ready until two years ago.
>
> I knew once I started that it would be long term, but it is time-limited in that once I graduate, I can no longer see him. :( So I have about one more year available to me.
>
> ggHey GG,
How come you can only see him until you graduate? Are you gonna be a T? What's your major? I've been thinking of going back to school, but it's been a long time. I figure I should do it now, so that when my son is in school, I'll have a life of my own.
Jazzed
Posted by Poet on June 1, 2005, at 18:57:43
In reply to Re: How long in therapy? » Poet, posted by Jazzed on May 30, 2005, at 8:46:22
Hi Jazzed,
Career failure. With hands shaking I called her and said that I need help learning to accept that I am a failure. She advertises in a small local health related publication and I had seen her ad for at least six months before I decided to see if she could help me. She told me from the start she's not a career counselor, which is good as inability to get a job is just the beginning.
We're slowly working our way through (or in my case around)childhood abuse, depression, bulimia and of course, why I think I'm a complete failure. Add trust to that. I have big trust issues, even though deep down I know I can trust her, I still struggle to open up.
I am sending you cyber space encouragement. Calling a T for the first time is hard. Let me know what you decided.
Poet
Posted by gardenergirl on June 1, 2005, at 21:31:37
In reply to Re: How long in therapy? » gardenergirl, posted by Jazzed on June 1, 2005, at 17:42:54
>
> How come you can only see him until you graduate?He is with the counseling center at school. So once I graduate, I am no longer elible to use those services.
I'm training to be a T. I've got (cross your fingers!) one more year left of training before I graduate. My degree will be in clinical psychology.
>I've been thinking of going back to school, but it's been a long time. I figure I should do it now, so that when my son is in school, I'll have a life of my own.
I went back to school after several years off. It's kind of odd to have classmates who are years younger than me. But I also find that I am a much better student not that I know what "I" want to study versus what I "ought" to study.
Good luck to you. It's harder when you have kids, from what I've observed, but it's not impossible!
gg
>
> Jazzed
>
>
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