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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 9 to 33 of 44. Go back in thread:
Posted by shrinking violet on April 24, 2005, at 18:21:14
In reply to Re: If I were a therapist.... » annierose, posted by pinkeye on April 24, 2005, at 17:24:07
Posted by annierose on April 24, 2005, at 20:25:35
In reply to Re: If I were a therapist.... » annierose, posted by daisym on April 24, 2005, at 17:55:43
Dasiy -
Yes, I left out "as". I do think my T cares for me. I couldn't pour out my soul to her if I didn't think I mattered. And I agree that it is a relationship, that we both play a part in the therapy.I do like feeling "cared for" by her. That is part of the good feelings I take away from my sessions. I know a part of me fights it too, because I get so irritated during my actual session time. But more than not, I leave feeling connected to another human. Someone understands and is understanding.
Dasiy, I do know from your posts that your T does care for you. More than any other T, he tells you, straight out. He demostrates that caring all the time. I am so happy that you found such a caring T while sorting through your past hurts and traumas.
I am glad that you are back in town. I missed your posts on this board. I hope all is well with your husband.
Posted by Dinah on April 24, 2005, at 20:37:53
In reply to If I were a therapist...., posted by pinkeye on April 24, 2005, at 16:17:12
I certainly would love to go to school and learn about it.
But my therapist shares the frustration of actually being a therapist, and I can't say I'd like that *at all*. Managed care, short term clients, court mandated clients or clients who come in because their spouse forces them to. Rejection, anger directed at you.
And I think he normally works with garden variety anxiety and depression with CBT. I have a feeling I'm one of his more difficult clients.
I think many of those of us who have had a good experience would like to be able to give someone else the same experience.
But the real world isn't always like that.
Posted by alexandra_k on April 24, 2005, at 21:04:16
In reply to Re: If I were a therapist.... » pinkeye, posted by messadivoce on April 24, 2005, at 17:22:10
Oh wow!
Okay, so I am pretty messed up over a termination myself but I just had to say
I LOVED YOUR POST!
It cracked me up!
The tone was so perfect!
I love it!I'm not sure about the helping and hurting part. I don't know. The t's I have worked with did everything they could to DISCOURAGE transference - but then that didn't work out so well. I still got attached even though I tried my hardest not to. I am currently grieving over stupid old pea-doc who lied to me and f*cked me around a hell of a lot. So sometimes we get attached DESPITE them. I don't know. If you care then I suppose you do open yourself up to be hurt. That is why trust is so hard and can be so fragile. But I think we do need to care. Because thats what makes it meaningful. And thats what helps at the end of the day. But I don't really know. Maybe I am just talking out of my *ss...
Posted by alexandra_k on April 24, 2005, at 21:09:22
In reply to I'd love to be a therapist in theory » pinkeye, posted by Dinah on April 24, 2005, at 20:37:53
I want to learn the theory theory theory.
I LOVE theory.
Unfortunately it all seems geared towards practice practice practice and I don't think I ever would could or should do that.
Its not fair.
Why can't you just learn the theory?
I know you can read it on your own
But it isn't as economical on your time or as productive as when you go to classes and have assessments and tests and classmates to cram with.
I even thought about doing medicine
10 years or however many of learning about constipation and boils just so I may have a chance of specialising in psychiatry so I can learn the theory theory theory. Sigh. I'd love to learn psychoanalytic theory. I've learned a bit about CBT - but it just made me want to puke.
Posted by Dinah on April 24, 2005, at 22:02:49
In reply to Re: I'd love to be a therapist in theory » Dinah, posted by alexandra_k on April 24, 2005, at 21:09:22
I think the only way I'd learn pure psychoanalytic theory is with someone explaining it to me in the places I get stuck. Reading just doesn't do it.
Reading about CBT, especially the B part, tends to annoy me. It seems like they've missed some vital part of humanity with behavior modification. But other parts of it are useful, and I suppose we all need to sit down and figure out when we're distorting sometimes.
I like learning about the interpersonal relational therapies best - short of pure Freudian or Jungian analytic. I just have a hard time believing I'm all *that* complex. :) If I feel that CBT reduces me to something a bit less than human, I feel that analytic therapy gives me waaaay too much credit. But Yalom or Kottler, now that seems juuuust right.
Which is not to say I wouldn't like to learn Freud or Jung. I'd just need a lot of help.
If you ever want to revive the old PB book club, with psychology as a topic, let me know. I think I'd enjoy reading the harder stuff with people who are a bit or more than a bit smarter than I am.
Posted by annierose on April 24, 2005, at 22:08:53
In reply to Re: I'd love to be a therapist in theory » alexandra_k, posted by Dinah on April 24, 2005, at 22:02:49
Not to take this thread way off topic, but Dinah, you mentioned something over in social about "collecting" therapy stories. Besides Yalom, are there any fiction books you have enjoyed re:therapy. I'd be interested. Thanks in advance.
Posted by messadivoce on April 24, 2005, at 23:38:34
In reply to Re: If I were a therapist.... » messadivoce, posted by alexandra_k on April 24, 2005, at 21:04:16
I'm glad you find the sarcastic, smart *ssed side of me amusing. :-) I am usually able to talk reasonably about this termination, but not today. Today it hurts like hell. Ouch Ouch Ouch.
My T was psychodynamic, so he encouraged me to open up and trust him. That was like, the major theme of my therapy. TRUST. I'm not like your dad, he said. I'm not trying to hurt you. You're safe. It's safe. Be open. Tell me everything.
If we had had all the time in the world, then maybe it would have turned out okay. Maybe we might have ended up moving into the same nursing home to continue treatment. ;-) So here's a proposal. I think that in order to practice psychodynamic therapy, there should be a law that the practitioner must allow at least 20 years for this. Anything less is cause for a lawsuit, and could end up causing irreparable harm to the patient. I mean, it just doesn't work to encourage trust and openness and then only have a VERY limited timeframe in which to work. It's pretty unreasonable to call all those feelings forth that probably take years to work through, and then say, "Okay, put them all back now, you should be cured."
It's like picking up an oyster and yelling, "Make a pearl NOW, dammit!!!"
Posted by Dinah on April 25, 2005, at 0:03:18
In reply to You'll have to excuse me... » alexandra_k, posted by messadivoce on April 24, 2005, at 23:38:34
Posted by Shortelise on April 25, 2005, at 1:00:19
In reply to If I were a therapist...., posted by pinkeye on April 24, 2005, at 16:17:12
Posted by messadivoce on April 25, 2005, at 1:38:27
In reply to eeeeeeeeeeeeeek (nm), posted by Shortelise on April 25, 2005, at 1:00:19
Posted by alexandra_k on April 25, 2005, at 1:42:00
In reply to You'll have to excuse me... » alexandra_k, posted by messadivoce on April 24, 2005, at 23:38:34
...For 20 years.
The most I have ever had anybody commit to is 8 months.
Wah!
Posted by Shortelise on April 25, 2005, at 12:06:06
In reply to Why are you eeeeking? (nm) » Shortelise, posted by messadivoce on April 25, 2005, at 1:38:27
because just thinking about this short circuits my mind. I can't go here...
:-)
ShortE
Posted by pinkeye on April 25, 2005, at 13:16:11
In reply to Re: If I were a therapist.... » pinkeye, posted by daisym on April 24, 2005, at 17:41:27
That's true. But I don't understand why I am so hurt. I have tried my best to understand, but I can't seem to fathom. It doesn't make sense. And I have tried seeking out for help - from both my ex T and my current T. And I don't think they know how to help either. And really it wasn't all that bad..but just that I am hurt way more than it warrants. I must be stupid or something
Posted by antigua on April 25, 2005, at 13:47:42
In reply to :-) Agreed. New law. (nm) » messadivoce, posted by Dinah on April 25, 2005, at 0:03:18
Thank goodnes! That means I have six years left. PHew. Hope I can make it.
antigua
Posted by pinkeye on April 25, 2005, at 14:07:09
In reply to You'll have to excuse me... » alexandra_k, posted by messadivoce on April 24, 2005, at 23:38:34
But I am not sure about the lawsuit thing.. Never in favor of lawsuits myself. Excpet in eggregious irresponsibility cases.
Posted by fallsfall on April 25, 2005, at 17:49:14
In reply to Re: If I were a therapist.... » daisym, posted by pinkeye on April 25, 2005, at 13:16:11
>but just that I am hurt way more than it warrants
This is usually a good indication to me that transference is at work...
Posted by pinkeye on April 25, 2005, at 20:42:46
In reply to Re: If I were a therapist.... » pinkeye, posted by fallsfall on April 25, 2005, at 17:49:14
I am pretty sure it is some form of transference.. He is striking a chord somewhere inside me and I am just responding to that, and I am trying to find out what that is. I haven't seen this person for more than maybe 20 hours in my life time face to face. It is impossible to have this kind of reaction without something else like transference going on. And I meet lot of very smart men everyday, and interact a lot with lot of men on a day to day basis. I don't react this way to anybody else. That is why I have a very strong suspicion that it is definitely transference. BUt I don't know how to resolve it though
Posted by Pfinstegg on April 25, 2005, at 22:20:29
In reply to Re: If I were a therapist.... » fallsfall, posted by pinkeye on April 25, 2005, at 20:42:46
I would have loved to have been a therapist myself, but don't think I would ever be strong enough to do good work with patients, and take good care of myself, also.
To put forward a different perspective, I know, from comments by him here and there, and just the *feel* of being in therapy with him, that my therapist feels it is a privilege to be a psychoanalyst- that it provides a full life of growth and expansion all the way, involving patient care, teaching, writing and having wonderful colleagues. Not that there aren't very painful, discouraging times for him- overcoming those is probably what the growth is about. But i just get the feeling that he loves doing it!
Posted by daisym on April 26, 2005, at 1:55:11
In reply to Re: If I were a therapist.... » pinkeye, posted by Pfinstegg on April 25, 2005, at 22:20:29
But i just get the feeling that he loves doing it!
I agree with you that you can feel if they like their jobs or not. I've decided that the pdoc I've seen doesn't really like the commitment it takes to do this work. So she turns her clients into objects. I think that is why she wonders if this the right time to do this work -- God forbid a client need her!
Posted by Dinah on April 26, 2005, at 7:57:27
In reply to Re: I'd love to be a therapist in theory » Dinah, posted by annierose on April 24, 2005, at 22:08:53
I have lots of case studies, any I can get my hands on even if they're on topics that don't appeal. Those are sort of fiction, I guess.
But for the most part my books are nonfiction and I collect fictional representations in movies and TV. Like the episode of The Nanny where Fran is so in awe of her therapist until she sees him digging in his nose with his finger at a movie, and is totally disillusioned. Before she sees that, she wonders whether if she greets him and if he asks her how she's doing and she answers fine, if he'll charge her.
I must be one of the few who didn't like "What About Bob?" Not sure if it's my anxiety about people embarassing themselves on screen or if it just cuts too close to home.
But I'll look through my library for fiction once I get those new shelves up in my closet. I'm devoting a whole five shelf bookshelf to the books I don't want in the family library - my therapy books. :) And magazines. Somehow I managed to subscribe to a clinician's magazine.
Posted by Daisym on April 26, 2005, at 10:40:39
In reply to Re: I'd love to be a therapist in theory » annierose, posted by Dinah on April 26, 2005, at 7:57:27
I didn't like What About Bob much either. Totally too close to home. Maybe in a few years?
Probably not.
Posted by fallsfall on April 26, 2005, at 10:48:51
In reply to Re: I'd love to be a therapist in theory » annierose, posted by Dinah on April 26, 2005, at 7:57:27
I like the first half of "What About Bob?" better than the second half. I think I like the idea of following my therapist on vacation.
Posted by annierose on April 26, 2005, at 15:57:23
In reply to Re: I'd love to be a therapist in theory » annierose, posted by Dinah on April 26, 2005, at 7:57:27
Thank you in advance if you can think of a few. I like to read fiction "therapy" books when my T is away on vacation.
Posted by daisym on April 26, 2005, at 16:01:12
In reply to Re: I'd love to be a therapist in theory » Dinah, posted by annierose on April 26, 2005, at 15:57:23
Have you read, "Tales of a Traveling Couch?" It is kind of fun. I have a list but I wanted to ask if you were looking for "light" reading or more serious stuff too? I think I spend more money on books than therapy itself. *sigh*
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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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