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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Skittles on March 16, 2005, at 13:25:56
The past few days have been really horrible for me. I am absolutely heartbroken over this falling out with my therapist. I feel like she has died. Or that I have. I'm not sure which. I can't sleep much at all. I wake up crying multiple times each night after having some kind of dream that involves seeing her and being completely ignored or having her refuse to look at me as she tells me to go away.
At this point, I simply want her to take me back. I'm trying to make some changes - showering, staying out of bed, doing things like reading, etc. But I'm actually feeling worse. I was spending my days inside my head and numb, these changes leave me to sit with the yucky emotions and I don't have a T to talk to about it. I'm also thinking that I don't care if she admits her part in this. Maybe she doesn't have a part. Maybe it was all me. I don't know. Should it matter?
Posted by pinkeye on March 16, 2005, at 13:47:08
In reply to Struggling, posted by Skittles on March 16, 2005, at 13:25:56
I am thinking that you need to be in some therapy - either with the same therapist if possible and if she would take you back, or with someone else if that doesn't work out with her.
At the end of the day, remember that it doesn't really matter so much whose mistake it was as opposed to what you felt/feeling and how to make yourself feel better going forwards. What would you get by analyzing whose mistake it was? So, maybe you can even call up your old T, and ask her if she would be willing to move forwards with you putting that issue behind both of you. If she isn't willing to, then best option would be to find a new T and try to work on your issues with her.
I know it is extremely difficult thing to do to move on, but sometimes it just helps and you realize later the worth of it.
Posted by Susan47 on March 16, 2005, at 14:11:07
In reply to Re: Struggling » Skittles, posted by pinkeye on March 16, 2005, at 13:47:08
Can you get a new therapist right away? I can't see any other thing that would work, at this point. (((Skittles)))
Posted by Dinah on March 16, 2005, at 17:23:53
In reply to Struggling, posted by Skittles on March 16, 2005, at 13:25:56
It feels like breaking up with a lover, doesn't it?
How long until she gets back and you can discuss whether the relationship can be repaired? I don't believe that it is hopeless. You need to figure out what you need in order to continue, and you need to find out what she needs in order to continue. Then to see if there is room for each of you to get what you need.
My therapist and I have done it countless times. So have my husband and I.
But I also generally find it soothing in these situations to look around for other therapists. Just to have another option should it be necessary.
Posted by Tamar on March 17, 2005, at 12:46:11
In reply to Struggling, posted by Skittles on March 16, 2005, at 13:25:56
I don't think it was all you: she definitely had a significant part in it! But I do think it might be a good idea to ararange to meet with her and talk through it. At the very least it would allow you to get some things off your chest and clear the air. If she's sensible she will acknowledge where she went wrong; if not, you will know exactly where you stand.
Whatever you decide to do, I hope you will find some good support.
Tamar
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