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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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Posted by TamaraJ on February 19, 2005, at 14:22:44
In reply to Re: NO therapy success??, posted by rainbowbrite on February 19, 2005, at 14:04:46
Maybe you can make some inquiries and talk to others who have been in therapy to get some recommendations (word of mouth type of thing) for good therapists. Then proceed from there.
As for telling your therapist how you feel, perhaps you can write a letter about how you are feeling and drop it off at her office (in an envelope TO BE OPENED BY ADDRESSEE ONLY so it is not opened by someone else) in advance of your next appointment. This would give her the chance to absorb what you have said and deal with it in (hopefully) a rational and non-defensive manner. And, it would save you any immediate discomfort. I don't know, just a thought.
Don't ever feel like a failure, (there are no failures in this world, particularly when one continues to try to improve herself). What works for one will not necessarily work another. All we can do is keep trying to find a good fit and take it from there. So, you will get it right for you and your situation when you are with the right therapist or when your current therapist is able to adjust to meet your needs.
Take care Rain :-). And, good luck with your decision. My thoughts are with you.
Tamara
(P.S.: I changed my name because I always use "Tamara" at the end of my posts, so it was silly (to me) to continue to use jujube as a posting name.)
Posted by rainbowbrite on February 19, 2005, at 14:42:03
In reply to Re: NO therapy success?? » rainbowbrite, posted by TamaraJ on February 19, 2005, at 14:22:44
>Don't ever feel like a failure, (there are no failures in this world, particularly when one continues to try to improve herself). What works for one will not necessarily work another. All we can do is keep trying to find a good fit and take it from there. So, you will get it right for you and your situation when you are with the right therapist or when your current therapist is able to adjust to meet your needs.
Thanks Tamara, I really appreciate that.
When therapy is going down hill it is hard to think positively about it. and I often do start blaming myself. this is a different way to look at it though.I think I am pretty cerain in my mind at least that I am quitting this week. I am hopefuly going to build the courage to do it in person (gasp).
but I wonder how long it will take me to actually DO it out loud? maybe a month or 2 lolThanks for the support. How is your arm doing?
rain
Posted by TamaraJ on February 19, 2005, at 14:51:29
In reply to Re: NO therapy success?? » TamaraJ, posted by rainbowbrite on February 19, 2005, at 14:42:03
My pleasure :-). And, if you can do it in person, all the better. It can only help you build the confidence to deal with uncomfortable situations in the future. I guess you could think of it as a personal growth and learning experience to draw on for the future.
My arm is healing well. Thanks for asking. The cast came off and the pins were removed a couple of weeks ago. So now I am just getting used to using it again. I am slowly getting my range of motion back, so I am happy about that (although trying to use the hand to eat soup or yogurt is, at this point, a messy, sloppy experience! I am going to have to invest in a bib :-)).
Take care of yourself. Talk to you again.
Tamara
Posted by TamaraJ on February 19, 2005, at 14:57:05
In reply to Re: NO therapy success?? » rainbowbrite, posted by TamaraJ on February 19, 2005, at 14:51:29
have you spoken to or heard from Fallen? If you are talking to her, please say Hi to her for me and let her know that I am thinking of her and hoping all is well.
Tamara
Posted by TamaraJ on February 19, 2005, at 15:02:23
In reply to Re: By the way . . . » TamaraJ, posted by TamaraJ on February 19, 2005, at 14:57:05
Posted by rainbowbrite on February 19, 2005, at 15:12:56
In reply to Re: NO therapy success?? » rainbowbrite, posted by TamaraJ on February 19, 2005, at 14:51:29
That sounds painful :S pins! ouch. I can picture you spilling all over yourself lol. I don't even need a broken arm to spill all over me I do it is an innate gift of mine :)
And I agree with doing it in person, it can only build strength. BUT ugh! SO hard!
Posted by rainbowbrite on February 19, 2005, at 15:14:36
In reply to Re: By the way . . . » TamaraJ, posted by TamaraJ on February 19, 2005, at 14:57:05
I will for sure
Rain :)
Posted by TamaraJ on February 19, 2005, at 15:18:28
In reply to Re: NO therapy success?? » TamaraJ, posted by rainbowbrite on February 19, 2005, at 15:12:56
LOL! I don't need a fractured wrist either to spill all over myself. H*ll, I even spill all over myself taking a sip of water :-) (you know, the dribble down the side of your face sip :-) Always embarrassing - YIPES, I'm an uncultured spaz!)
Strength to you Rain. Be well.
Tamara
Posted by rainbowbrite on February 19, 2005, at 15:24:42
In reply to Re: NO therapy success?? » rainbowbrite, posted by TamaraJ on February 19, 2005, at 15:18:28
HAHA you made me lol
I am too, I try so hard not to be, no luck. im a clutz!
i have a hole in my cheek AND there is always a hole in any glass or bowl or even plate I use. Some one is out to get me LOL
Posted by TamaraJ on February 19, 2005, at 15:53:08
In reply to Re: NO therapy success?? » TamaraJ, posted by rainbowbrite on February 19, 2005, at 15:24:42
Posted by Dinah on February 19, 2005, at 20:07:28
In reply to NO therapy success??, posted by rainbowbrite on February 19, 2005, at 9:53:43
Well, you know what your desired outcome is. Do you have any preferance as to therapeutic approaches? What did and didn't work with this therapist?
You sound as if you're in a pretty good position to go therapist shopping, if you decide to pursue it. It's so much easier as a therapy veteran, I would think, than the first time we nervously call whoever we think might have us.
Posted by gardenergirl on February 20, 2005, at 7:04:26
In reply to Re: NO therapy success?? » rainbowbrite, posted by Dinah on February 19, 2005, at 20:07:28
Okay, I have to join this thread because I am in the spills food all over myself club, too!
Anyway, rain...it sounds like you have been frustrated for awhile. Maybe you can frame your discussion with your T in terms of what your goal is/was when you started, and how far you've come towards it. That is a good reason to terminate, if you are not making progress towards your goal. It could be that you and she are on different pages as to what you want to do. Also, you mentioned that there was this "one thing", I think, you really wanted to get better. Is that what you and your T talk about? Or does she not pick up on that?
Good luck, and try not to worry about the T's feelings too much. That may sound cold, but she is a professional. I've been "fired" by a client once or twice. It may sting a bit, but it's also a good learning experience. And in one case, I absolutely agreed that I couldn't be what she was looking for in a T, so ending therapy was very appropriate.
Take care,
gg
Posted by rainbowbrite on February 20, 2005, at 18:42:06
In reply to Re: NO therapy success?? » rainbowbrite, posted by Dinah on February 19, 2005, at 20:07:28
> Do you have any preferance as to therapeutic approaches?
To be honest even though Ive studied them a little I really have no idea what they are all about, except sort of CBT. Is there one that is better for sa? From what you wrote is seems to be more of a personal choice?
Thanks
rain
Posted by rainbowbrite on February 20, 2005, at 18:56:11
In reply to Re: NO therapy success??, posted by gardenergirl on February 20, 2005, at 7:04:26
HAHA welcome to the sloppy club!!
>Maybe you can frame your discussion with your T in terms of what your goal is/was when you started, and how far you've come towards it. That is a good reason to terminate, if you are not making progress towards your goal. It could be that you and she are on different pages as to what you want to do.
Well I started therapy with completely differnet issues, I came needing help with soemthing that in a way completely unrelated to me, But I have since then realized that my sole problem was something else, which I Believe if I deal with will solve ALL my life problems (I think Im dreaming lol). But for real, it is a huge part.
>Also, you mentioned that there was this "one thing", I think, you really wanted to get better. Is that what you and your T talk about? Or does she not pick up on that?"pick up on it" is a good way to word it, I think my T does not get it at all. I know I avoid, which is weird because I know I need to talk about it and I even want to do it to get it over with, but I still avoid. Its a strange feeling. My T is just not very good at taking my desparte hints and even my direct attempts to discuss ARG!! So now I need the strength to confront and either a miricle will occur or I will terminate. Its very stressful to think about having to do!
Didn't being fired make you hate the patient? I shouldn't care so much, ugh! but I don't know how to do it in a gentle way :(
I am pulling my hair out thinking about it.
Thanks
rainPS - I just spilled tea all over my leg lol
Posted by gardenergirl on February 20, 2005, at 19:52:21
In reply to Re: NO therapy success?? » gardenergirl, posted by rainbowbrite on February 20, 2005, at 18:56:11
Oh no, I'm influencing fellow club members over the internet! :)
No, I don't hate her. I do wonder how she is doing, though.
(((rainbowbrite)))
gg
Posted by TamaraJ on February 20, 2005, at 19:54:07
In reply to Re: NO therapy success??, posted by gardenergirl on February 20, 2005, at 19:52:21
Posted by rainbowbrite on February 21, 2005, at 1:17:24
In reply to LOL Hey, who moved my mouth when I wasn't looking (nm) » gardenergirl, posted by TamaraJ on February 20, 2005, at 19:54:07
Posted by rainbowbrite on February 21, 2005, at 13:16:40
In reply to NO therapy success??, posted by rainbowbrite on February 19, 2005, at 9:53:43
I cancelled appointment. Everyone clap for rain! I will go far in life like this....(sigh)
Posted by jasmineneroli on February 21, 2005, at 19:06:29
In reply to IM A CHICKEN!, posted by rainbowbrite on February 21, 2005, at 13:16:40
Hi: Well here I am sitting in the sweatshirt that I wear to cover my "good" clothes when I eat supper!!! I'm not kidding, I go further than a bib, Tamara!!! And wearing white to eat out...forget it, way too stressful! Is this something most Babblers have in common???
Anyway, Rain, I feel for you in your dilemma. It sounds like you feel like a failure, for this therapy relationship not working out. You aren't!
Maybe you could look at it more as period of self-discovery, to find out what you need from a therapist and what kind of therapy, and from whom?
And I don't think you are a chicken to cancel the app't. I think that was SMART! It buys you some time to really think about it and research different therapies etc.
Can you write your ONE THING down, and when you do eventually find a therapist, hand the paper over, so you don't have to spend a lot of time giving hints and feeling frustrated?
I think you are pretty brave to even start the therapy process. I've been thinking about it, but I feel too reluctant....no, AFRAID, to do anything about it.
Best wishes,
Jas
Posted by gardenergirl on February 21, 2005, at 19:25:37
In reply to LOL Hey, who moved my mouth when I wasn't looking (nm) » gardenergirl, posted by TamaraJ on February 20, 2005, at 19:54:07
I spilled Diet Coke on the front of my sweater on the way to my interview!
Nothing like blotting your boobies in the car at rush hour...
gg
Posted by TamaraJ on February 21, 2005, at 19:33:02
In reply to Re: LOL Hey, who moved my mouth when I wasn't looking » TamaraJ, posted by gardenergirl on February 21, 2005, at 19:25:37
Oh no! Well, I guess it could have been worse. At least you didn't spill diet Coke on the front of your sweater and end up having to blot your boobies during the interview! Joking aside, I hope the interview went well for you.
When I went to vote last fall, I was eating a Dairy Queen chocolate dipped cone. By the time I got to the polling station, I had chocolate stains all the front of my white blouse. I can dress myself up, but I can't take myself out!
Tamara
> I spilled Diet Coke on the front of my sweater on the way to my interview!
>
> Nothing like blotting your boobies in the car at rush hour...
>
> gg
Posted by rainbowbrite on February 21, 2005, at 23:08:50
In reply to Re: IM A CHICKEN!, posted by jasmineneroli on February 21, 2005, at 19:06:29
>Hi: Well here I am sitting in the sweatshirt that I wear to cover my "good" clothes when I eat supper!!! I'm not kidding, I go further than a bib, Tamara!!! And wearing white to eat out...forget it, way too stressful! Is this something most Babblers have in common???
WEll you are officially accepted into our group lol
>It sounds like you feel like a failure, for this therapy relationship not working out.
EXACTLY how I feel
>You aren't!
Thanks
>And I don't think you are a chicken to cancel the app't. I think that was SMART! It buys you some time to really think about it and research different therapies etc.
Thats a better way to think about it
>Can you write your ONE THING down, and when you do eventually find a therapist, hand the paper over, so you don't have to spend a lot of time giving hints and feeling frustrated?
I did with this one and it went weird, I think if I had a receptive person on the other I could talk it out, well maybe, I really need to find my perfect fit I guess and I never thought about that before. This seems like WAY too much work for me ugh
>I think you are pretty brave to even start the therapy process. I've been thinking about it, but I feel too reluctant....no, AFRAID, to do anything about it.Wow thanks, I have never thought of myself as brave in doing that, the opposite actually. I always think this is stuff I should figure out on my own.
thanks for you reply
rain
Posted by TamaraJ on February 22, 2005, at 13:00:08
In reply to IM A CHICKEN!, posted by rainbowbrite on February 21, 2005, at 13:16:40
That's ok. You just weren't ready yet. It's better to be prepared, especially emotionally, when you go into a situation where you have to express dissatisfaction. So, maybe what you can do, to prepare yourself, is write down what you want/have to say, and have a close friend or family member do a role play with you so you can practice. I don't know, sounds stupid, but it helps in some situations - having had the opportunity to say what you intend to say to an impartial person.
And, you are not a chicken. You are human, and these types of situations are difficult and unnerving for a lot of people. So, don't be hard on yourself.
Tamara
> I cancelled appointment. Everyone clap for rain! I will go far in life like this....(sigh)
Posted by Miss Honeychurch on February 22, 2005, at 13:41:40
In reply to NO therapy success??, posted by rainbowbrite on February 19, 2005, at 9:53:43
Sorry I'm so late jumping in on this discussion. It took me three tries before I found my current T. That was three Ts with whom I didn't connect, didn't like, or had absolutely NO chemistry with. So, don't feel badly that you don't feel you aren't connecting with this T. I think it might be rare to find the perfect match first time out.
I wish I had advice on how to find a good one. I got lucky with my current one by a referral from my insurance (but my insurance had given me the names of the other 3 as well).
And I took the chicken way out of terminating these people. Did it over their voice mail, something to the effect of that I was busy and would have to call back to reschedule. No guts at all.
Posted by rainbowbrite on February 22, 2005, at 13:56:21
In reply to Re: IM A CHICKEN! » rainbowbrite, posted by TamaraJ on February 22, 2005, at 13:00:08
That is a good idea. I may try that. Or at least write it out.
Thanks
rain
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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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