![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by mmcconathy on January 2, 2005, at 0:32:39
I dont know if im going insane, i truly feel im losing my mind.
I'm 17, i dont know where im going, who I am, i have dissociation, i dont know where or how to get out of this.
Every since i was a kid i have been rejected, i have bad social skills, not violent, i still feel insecure as if i still need my mother.
While everyone else was developing normally, i stayed in isolation, and didnt adapt socially. I cant take this, im not normal and i cant stand it, I WANT TO BE SOMEONE ELSE! it just never ends, Im trying to find God for help, but im lost and no one to go to.
I just wished i had a Dad to go to and feel safe, and know im normal. I never had that since my parents divorced, only a controlling mother who had mental issues of her own.
My real dad is successful, has a law firm, but is a complete naraccisst, tells me im nothing, i guess i am, but i know God loves me.
Here i am about to go into life, im overwhelmed, basically live on Xanax, almost daily emotional breakdowns, no one here to tell me im normal, no friends, my other personalites cope, when my dad slaps me down and calls me failure, horrible things, i go numb.
I need to get on my feet before collage.
Please if you ahve any help input, i would greaty appreiciate anything.
Posted by mmcconathy on January 2, 2005, at 0:39:31
In reply to Please tell me im normal, posted by mmcconathy on January 2, 2005, at 0:32:39
Its too much
Posted by Fallen4MyT on January 2, 2005, at 0:44:07
In reply to Please tell me im normal, posted by mmcconathy on January 2, 2005, at 0:32:39
Hi I would not know what normal is I think in the encyclopedia if you look it shows the face of a dull person :)...those of us on here are for the most part not "normal" do struggle with issues I too have anxiety and have most of my life. It is now mostly gone. I am sorry your dad is a creep to you and abusive.....I just work on being the best ME I can be.....You seem very smart and in need of a shoulder I am here and so are others
HUGS
Posted by mair on January 2, 2005, at 10:57:58
In reply to Please tell me im normal, posted by mmcconathy on January 2, 2005, at 0:32:39
I'm with Fallen - the longer I live, the less I have a sense of what's normal. Also, I know it's tough to believe this sometimes, but what's "normal" or just the desired way to be in high school is not at all necessarily true in the adult world. Look at the scads and scads of very successful people who think they never really "belonged" when they were in high school. As the mother of 2 teens, I actually think that most high school students have some of the feelings you describe, at least some of the time. They just don't necessarily own up to them. I've only gone to one high school reunion but what struck me most was listening to a woman whom I always thought of as the prototypical high school success, talk about how insecure, lonely and depressed she was then.
I'm sorry your Dad is such a jerk but as time goes on you'll have to have less and less to do with him. Are you a junior or senior? One of the greatest things about college is that college environments often embrace the differences of people, and you're far more likely to find kindred spirits there.
If you're living on xanax, I assume someone is prescribing it for you. Are you in therapy? Is that an option?
Please keep posting.
Mair
Posted by B2Chica on January 2, 2005, at 16:02:25
In reply to Re: pray i will die, please, posted by mmcconathy on January 2, 2005, at 0:39:31
if i've gotta stick around...so do you buddy.
Here, you are NEVER alone. i'm right beside you depressed, manic, anxiety...whatever...right here.
And i'm sorry but i did chuckle with you asking someone like me to tell you that you are normal...haha. But like the others say, who the heck really wants NORMAL?? if that means day to day droll lives. What you want is a reprieve from the intensity of your emotions. you can only get that if you let them come through in a controlled or guided way. (therapy)
seriously though i am Really sorry to hear the intense frustration in your 'voice'.
Your dad does sound like he has his own 'issues' so i say take the good (any attention or nice things) and throw away the bad (any bad things he says about you-he's wrong). and if your mother is struggling with her own issues also, Please this is the time to take control of your life. if you aren't in therapy...look for one. It WILL help.
are you getting anx. meds from general physician or pdoc? you can get referrals for T's from either of them.i don't know you but it sound like you have a LOT inside that you need to say. SAY IT!! keeping hurt and anger inside will not help anyone. Take a step above both your parents and seek the help you need.
(Everyone needs help now and again).and i REPEAT...HERE you are Never Alone.
stick around.B2c.
Posted by Dinah on January 2, 2005, at 20:00:56
In reply to Please tell me im normal, posted by mmcconathy on January 2, 2005, at 0:32:39
Clearly it isn't in the normal course of events to live in the pain you're living in now. And you should consider that a good thing. Just imagine if what you are experiencing right now is what's normal and to be expected all your life.
But that's an assessment of your quality of life at the moment, not a value judgement of you. You *can* have a better quality of life, and you should aim for that. Therapy and proper medication will help a lot. Leaving high school will improve things as well, leaving college still more. Life outside school is no where comparable to life inside school. It's possible to draw boundaries with your parents too.
I went through a period of time where I felt very much like you. I got through it to a better place. Concentrate on making things better, not on whether you are flawed. (Besides - flaws and assets are flip sides of the same qualities.)
Posted by ..::ghOsT::.. on January 2, 2005, at 21:54:44
In reply to Please tell me im normal, posted by mmcconathy on January 2, 2005, at 0:32:39
normal's a far stretch for me. but i will say that college helped me a LOT. (i think it was the moving away and starting over that helped.) i hope you have the same experience. (or better, since i had my share of problems.)
welcome, though. keep writing. chances are, people know and understand. but B2c's right. You're never alone.
Posted by mmcconathy on January 4, 2005, at 13:55:29
In reply to Re: pray i will die, please » mmcconathy, posted by B2Chica on January 2, 2005, at 16:02:25
Sorry that night i just had a mental stress breakdown. Lots of things are happening right now in my life, i think im going going to collapse.
Anyways, i take Dexedrine and Xanax which do help me cope, but im getting off xanax becuase its addicting espeically for my age (17).
Thanks, i know i just got to get my mind on life and not myself and my problems to survive.
My dad calls me nothing alot, becuase i cant be his dreams, his high expectations, and calls me trash and gay adn big queer.
Tony sometimes will start fights with him, tell him to pick some hookers, since he's the loser, and cant manage all 4 wives he's had.
Right now i feel i need to keep him to protect me.
Anyways, im going to hypnotherapy and try to work on some issues.
Thanks
Posted by Fallen4MyT on January 4, 2005, at 18:06:31
In reply to Re: Ok, hey guys im better, posted by mmcconathy on January 4, 2005, at 13:55:29
Hey Matt :) Glad you are some better.....I myself and up and down...Hey just a thought here..um taking dexadrine and xanax they may cancel one another out cause one is speed of sorts and one is to mellow like a downer....Does the same doctor give these to you??? I know with anxiety I could not take any kind of stimulant.
> Sorry that night i just had a mental stress breakdown. Lots of things are happening right now in my life, i think im going going to collapse.
>
> Anyways, i take Dexedrine and Xanax which do help me cope, but im getting off xanax becuase its addicting espeically for my age (17).
>
> Thanks, i know i just got to get my mind on life and not myself and my problems to survive.
>
> My dad calls me nothing alot, becuase i cant be his dreams, his high expectations, and calls me trash and gay adn big queer.
>
> Tony sometimes will start fights with him, tell him to pick some hookers, since he's the loser, and cant manage all 4 wives he's had.
>
> Right now i feel i need to keep him to protect me.
>
> Anyways, im going to hypnotherapy and try to work on some issues.
>
> Thanks
Posted by mmcconathy on January 4, 2005, at 18:58:22
In reply to Re: Ok, hey guys im better » mmcconathy, posted by Fallen4MyT on January 4, 2005, at 18:06:31
Well i dont really take Xanax, my mom takes Xanax, i take Klonopin 2mg.
Anywayws i only take when needed.
Dexedrine is the more effective medication, beciase it gives me a sense of control.
THnaks for your concern
Posted by Fallen4MyT on January 4, 2005, at 19:56:34
In reply to Re: Ok, hey guys im better, posted by mmcconathy on January 4, 2005, at 18:58:22
You're welcome Matt but watch the Dex if you have anxiety it causes anxiety in itself
> Well i dont really take Xanax, my mom takes Xanax, i take Klonopin 2mg.
>
> Anywayws i only take when needed.
>
> Dexedrine is the more effective medication, beciase it gives me a sense of control.
>
> THnaks for your concern
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Psychology | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.