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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 25 of 31. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Pfinstegg on December 28, 2004, at 10:19:40
I have gotten really curious: I feel I've gotten to know quite a lot about how various posters' Ts think, feel and interact, but I don't know what they look like. There was an ancient thread, "The Perfect Therapists Club", which sort of hinted at how some of them looked, but I've forgotten most of the details.
I am willing to describe mine: Age 56, 6'4", thin and athletic, except his knees are a bit painful and stiff from, I suspect, old athletic injuries. He has a full head of thick, dark-turning-grey curly hair, which he wears kind of long. As he nears the time for another haircut, his hair gets curlier and curlier- he is not even a bit bald. He has a mustache, not curly, but quite thick. He is handsome- has a very strong profile, and large, strong features. His eyes are blue-grey and very gentle and warm: his voice, too, is very gentle. He has beautiful hands, with long fingers, which he usually rests on his thighs in very relaxed positions. He has a nice, genuine smile, and is not afraid to be spontaneous with it. In general, he IS very spontaneous, interacting with me on all sorts of levels all the time. Sometimes I think that I don't even know half of what is happening between us! He has a wonderful laugh- the best times are when we get through some really hard issues, and then just share a laugh together about any old thing. He wears tweed jackets, a tie and grey slacks most days in the winter, but usually takes his jacket off in the summer. I always notice teaching days, because he wears a suit then. If you saw him walking down the street, you would not think he looked particularly like a psychoanalyst; you would note the energy, and athletic walk, the good looks. You might think he was a professor- which he also is!
Posted by Camille Dumont on December 28, 2004, at 13:02:16
In reply to What do all these Ts actually look like?, posted by Pfinstegg on December 28, 2004, at 10:19:40
Mine was female, about five foot seven or eight ... late thirties or early fourties ... strangely enough, exact same hair color as me ... kind of red orangish ... and she dresses like a hippie straight out of the seventies ... big flowing dresses, tie died stuff ... a bit on the chubby side.
Posted by thewrite1 on December 28, 2004, at 15:14:22
In reply to Re: What do all these Ts actually look like?, posted by Camille Dumont on December 28, 2004, at 13:02:16
My T is 66, she has long curly hair that used to be black, but has quite a bit of grey now. She's pretty short (maybe 5'2"), in very good shape for a 66-year-old.
Posted by cubic_me on December 28, 2004, at 15:16:59
In reply to Re: What do all these Ts actually look like?, posted by Camille Dumont on December 28, 2004, at 13:02:16
My individual T (female) was about 50, very petite and about 5ft 1 but had a confidence/authority about her. She had short grey hair and wore very conservative clothing but had some very odd clothes and shoes that she wore occasionally! She seemed to wear the same pair of earrings throuugh out the couple of years I was seeing her - maybe they were special. The only thing I can distinctly remember about her face was that the rounded bit at the bottom of her nose had a little vertical crease, it's wierd what you remember.
It took me a while to remember what my group T looks like - I guess that says something about my attachement to her (ie none at all). She's short as well, put not petite, with grey hair in loose curls to above her shoulders. She has a very strange chin/lips/nose which makes her look like she is looking down her nose in discust at you, or that there is a bad smell in the room, and she has a whiney shrill voice. I honestly couldn't tell you a single item of clothing she has worn, perhaps I should know, I've been in group for 3 months.
Posted by littleone on December 28, 2004, at 16:01:12
In reply to What do all these Ts actually look like?, posted by Pfinstegg on December 28, 2004, at 10:19:40
It is so funny you raise this now. I happened to watch an episode of Married with Children on TV just the other day and was absolutely horrified to realise that my T looks like Al Bundy.
It was only once I got over the initial shock that I could see that it wasn't the face at all, it was the hair. He has Al Bundy hair.
My T is really strange in that if you look at him front on, then look at him side on, he looks like two totally different people.
I can't really describe him very well, I don't look at him very often and even then it's only quick little glances. But I could spot his shoes a mile away.
Posted by Dinah on December 28, 2004, at 16:14:28
In reply to What do all these Ts actually look like?, posted by Pfinstegg on December 28, 2004, at 10:19:40
I don't think I could recognize him from a photo, but I have impressions. He's big. That's my main impression. He's big. He's tall, well over six feet. And big. Not thin so he seems solid and dependable. And not fat. Just big, but with enough softness to him to reinforce my maternal attachment.
Very large features. (This was initially important to me because he was attractive enough objectively that both my husband and mother commented on it. But I've never been attracted physically to large featured men, so I felt safe going to him. If he'd have looked like Dr. Drew I'd have run like the wind. Hard to concentrate therapeutically with gold arm hair curling over a watch band revealed by rolled up sleeves...)
Big brown puppy dog eyes that he uses to his advantage when he forgets himself. A fabulous southern drawl that he also uses when he forgets himself. Those things make me feel maternal rather than daughterly.
A deep radio voice that would sound fake except that it matches his size.
A laugh that reminds me of my daddy's fake hearty public laugh, so it doesn't appeal although for all I know it might be real.
Posted by Dinah on December 28, 2004, at 16:17:22
In reply to Re: What do all these Ts actually look like? » Pfinstegg, posted by littleone on December 28, 2004, at 16:01:12
lol. That's exactly what I would say for years. I finally think I could recognize him by the way he carries himself, not to mention his voice. But for years I'd have said his shoes.
He's so dapper. His hair always looks just the same, as if he goes to the barber weekly. I can just see him. One of those well dressed men who go every week to have everything neatened up and his shoes shined. Maybe one of those towels around his face. :)
Posted by annierose on December 28, 2004, at 17:27:46
In reply to Re: What do all these Ts actually look like?, posted by Dinah on December 28, 2004, at 16:14:28
Fun thread byw -
My T slightly resembles the woman that plays Larry David's wife on "Curb your Enthusiasm" (without the huge teethy grin)on HBO, early 50's, shoulder length reddish/blond hair,
petite (5'4"?), slender and fit, medium voice (I've always had the impression, although non founded in any known fact, that she is not from the midwest, that school or marriage brought her here). She wears lots of brown tones, winter whites ... I could find way cooler clothes for her. Good sense of humor (and reacts positively to my humor attempts). She's left handed (like me), wears glasses (although I couldn't pick them out in a line-up:) ... I only noticed she wore glasses when over the summer she wore contacts ... took awhile to figure out what was different.
Posted by Fallen4MyT on December 28, 2004, at 19:27:46
In reply to What do all these Ts actually look like?, posted by Pfinstegg on December 28, 2004, at 10:19:40
PF he is dreamy....he is like peaches and cream ohhh what a dream lips like strawberry wine..he's not 16 but he's beautiful and he's mine, he's like diamonds and pearls ohhh what a T he's my angel devine......now on a serious note :P he is taller than me but not as tall as hubby so lets say 5'11 medium stocky build clean shaven....nice hands ...brown hair with some grey.....Paul Newman eyes....nice lips sooo not chapped.....wears mostly guy dress shirts and pants the jackets sometimes he had hanging on a coat rack deal....no tie or seldom....did I mention a sweet impish smile ...rather clean cut and Boyish like that guy Chris ODonnell dude........
Posted by daisym on December 28, 2004, at 19:37:40
In reply to Re: What do all these Ts actually look like?, posted by annierose on December 28, 2004, at 17:27:46
Thank you for the excuse to pull out his picture! :)
He is not a large man, probably 5'8" or so, and a slight build. He is quiet in himself, not fidgety and he sort of exudes calm. I would have guessed he was in his mid-forties but he has alluded to being 10 years older than me, which places him in his early 50s. He has black hair that is greying at the sides and a beard and a mustache that is very closely trimmed and neat. He wears his hair short and when he gets it cut, sometimes he reminds me of a school boy. I like the grey that shows up in his beard. He wears glasses but they are the rimless kind; when he gave me a picture I actually was surprised to notice the glasses. He has blue eyes and a great smile, almost a grin. Overall, I think he is pretty good looking, but not too sexy. He often wears black on black, which is a great combination on him. And he has some loud summer shirts that you just know where a gift.
The best thing about him is his voice. It conveys all of his emotions and he uses it, sometimes just by making sounds, to make you feel better. Those little "ahs, hmms, or I knows." I like his laugh too, but mostly I like the way he says my name. Kind of quiet and tender, like I mean something to him.
Gosh, I'm blushing. I hope he never reads this. I'd also like to add that I'm impressed that his socks always match his outfit.
Posted by Dinah on December 28, 2004, at 19:42:20
In reply to Re: What do all these Ts actually look like?, posted by daisym on December 28, 2004, at 19:37:40
I tried to think of what mine sounds like when he says my name, and honestly I think he only uses it when he's annoyed with me. He knows I'm not overly fond of it anyway.
I never use his unless I'm about to say something that I consider very important. We're a couple of "Hey, You"'ers.
Posted by daisym on December 28, 2004, at 19:54:01
In reply to Re: What do all these Ts actually look like? » daisym, posted by Dinah on December 28, 2004, at 19:42:20
Ok, what is the BEST thing he says then? When you close your eyes and listen to him, what phrase comes to mind that soothes?
Besides my name, I like: "You won't feel like this forever" and "I'm NOT going to leave you, I promise." (Of course, that is up for me today, so...)
Posted by Mark H. on December 28, 2004, at 20:00:13
In reply to Re: What do all these Ts actually look like?, posted by daisym on December 28, 2004, at 19:37:40
My therapist looks like the image of Sigmund Freud on the back of an Austrian 50 Schilling banknote:
http://www.banknotes.com/AT149.JPG
I'm not kidding. If you draw dark, straight hair forward and put large glasses on that picture of Freud, that's my therapist.
He's about 65 years old, 6' 2" tall, about 200 pounds. He wears a tweedy sweater-vest with various pins of affiliation -- AOPA, Rotary Club, others I don't recognize -- and has a strong, authoritative voice and a wonderful sense of humor. He's an in-your-face sort of therapist, but with lots of heart. He has impeccable boundaries.
When he's tired or frustrated, he puts the palms of his hands to his face and pushes the skin into deep folds, distorting his good looks. It's fascinating to watch, not only because it's funny-looking, but also because I can't do that (perhaps his skin is thicker or at least more pliable than mine).
Ah, yes, for the past twenty years or more he has worn Birkenstocks! Is that a therapist cliche, or what? :-)
Mark H.
Posted by Fallen4MyT on December 28, 2004, at 20:15:43
In reply to Re: What do all these Ts actually look like?, posted by Mark H. on December 28, 2004, at 20:00:13
soft like his lips and hands but I like when he sez my name...which isnt often he sez it like he is praying or something......soft and with reverence
Posted by Annierose on December 28, 2004, at 20:36:24
In reply to Re: What do all these Ts actually look like? » Pfinstegg, posted by Fallen4MyT on December 28, 2004, at 19:27:46
No wonder you're smitten! I like Chris boyish charm looks. Does he have nice teeth too? I like a nice smile.
Posted by Fallen4MyT on December 28, 2004, at 20:50:05
In reply to Re: What do all these Ts actually look like? » Fallen4MyT, posted by Annierose on December 28, 2004, at 20:36:24
Oh yes Annierose way nice teeth sometimes I have wondered if they are fake even...and I like how sometimes he tosses his head back and lols ...he is not all stuffy or anything ....and Chris...oh lala...also that Toby McGuire guy...he is hot and boyish :) Once I posted on how he said..like stunned that I had Grace....that it is rare .....I am still swooning on that one lol
Posted by Dinah on December 28, 2004, at 21:10:56
In reply to Re: What do all these Ts actually look like? » Dinah, posted by daisym on December 28, 2004, at 19:54:01
That's an easy one. We have goodbye rituals. After every session he tells me I can call him if I need to. Sometimes it's clearly rote and we sort of grin. But sometimes he says it like he means it, and it makes me feel safe. In either case I like it, and it really upsets me if he leaves it out. So much that I usually remind him by asking and the one time we both forgot I went back from halfway down the hall and knocked forlornly at his door.
But my very very very favorite thing is that I ask after a rough session if everything will be ok. And if it was rough enough that he doesn't feel it's a good moment to remind me of my responsibility to make sure everything is ok, he'll answer "Yes, everything is going to be ok." in the most certain and reassuring tone. If he gets the tone wrong, it just makes things worse than if he said nothing at all. Sometimes he doesn't wait for me to ask, but offers it.
Yes, I'm no better than a two year old in my need of rituals. I find them inordinately stabilizing.
Posted by GoodEnough on December 29, 2004, at 10:08:55
In reply to What do all these Ts actually look like?, posted by Pfinstegg on December 28, 2004, at 10:19:40
Hello everyone,
My therapist reminds me of James Cromwell's character Farmer Arthur Hoggett in the Babe movie - not only in his looks, but in his manner in the movie. Watching this movie is a real comfort to me, especially now over the holidays with more time between our appointments. My husband thinks I'm reliving my childhood with all of my movie watching - Babe and all of the other childhood Xmas programs (our children are grown). I'm really just having a faux therapy session!
When I see James in other movies, it just doesn't do it for me... it has to be Babe - the first movie not Babe Pig in the City (his character is not featured enough in that movie!).
I am new here. I've been reading for about a week and really like this board (and the archives). I will write a introductory post soon, but I just had to jump in on this thread!
Posted by gardenergirl on December 29, 2004, at 11:27:48
In reply to Re: What do all these Ts actually look like?, posted by GoodEnough on December 29, 2004, at 10:08:55
Okay, I just had to look at my T's shoes for once. Today he was wearing duck boots! He is truly an LLBean kind of guy. He has fine, graying hair which he wears a bit long in the back and combed straight (not a combover!). When he is due for a haircut it tends to be a bit more unruly, and he pulls the back together in a little pony tail in his hands, as if it is bothering his neck. It looks like it used to be a medium brown. Light blue eyes behind rimless glasses. He tends to wear khakis and button down shirts, sometimes a sweater. I have never seen him in a suit or jacket. He is medium tall, maybe 6 foot and medium build. His features are kind of non-descript. He's not someone you might remember in a crowd unless you got to talk to him.
He is witty and has a nice laugh and a kind smile. I like him a lot, but I'm not attracted to him sexually. That's probably good.
gg
Posted by messadivoce on December 29, 2004, at 11:49:05
In reply to What do all these Ts actually look like?, posted by Pfinstegg on December 28, 2004, at 10:19:40
My former T (who most of my posts are about) was about my height (and I'm petite at 5'3") but had a commanding presence and radiated calm. I found out he was 34 but he could have passed for 28. He had an athlete's body: wide muscled chest of a wrestler and broad shoulders punctuated by a narrow waist. His darkish complexion and his last name together made it obvious that he was Italian. He had black hair and beautiful brown eyes that always reflected whatever I was feeling. It seemed to me that his nose had been stuck on as an afterthought because it looked slightly like it was made out of playdough compared to the craggy features of his face. He had an easy smile that always made his eyes sparkle. And his lips and his hands were perfect, what else can I say. He favored khakis and button down shirts in blues and grays rolled up at the elbows. Once he wore a T-shirt and I could see his bulging arm muscles with the veins running through...made concentration a little tough. I was attracted to him quite a bit but later on I just enjoyed looking at him.
The T I have now is in her 40s and heavyset, with glasses and brown hair cut in a pageboy. She likes to wear outfits in dark colors. My favorite is a blouse she wears in a deep purple, and I just love that color for some reason. It also matches the couch in her office. I haven't been to see her as much as the old T so I haven't picked up as many details, plus I obviously don't feel the same about her as I did my first T.
Posted by Skittles on December 29, 2004, at 12:17:02
In reply to Re: What do all these Ts actually look like?, posted by messadivoce on December 29, 2004, at 11:49:05
I came here fully intending to share what my T looks like, but now that I'm here, I really don't want to. I wonder why?
I will say that I adore her and she has the kindest eyes and most gentle voice I've ever experienced. At first I thought the voice was patronizing and I didn't like it - I'm not terribly accustomed to gentle - but now I just want to be surrounded by it. It's beautiful, and warm, and comforting.
Posted by judy1 on December 29, 2004, at 12:23:47
In reply to What do all these Ts actually look like?, posted by Pfinstegg on December 28, 2004, at 10:19:40
I really enjoyed reading all your descriptions (and Mark, yours was hysterical :-). I realized that I couldn't provide such a detailed description that most of you were able to. The two pdocs/therps who affected me the most shared several common traits- they were both shorter than average in stature, older than me by at least 10 years, great senses of humor and had finely tuned empathy. now a lot of this may be projection (other than the physical stats), but I honestly can't describe their hands or shoes! or what they normally wore despite seeing them for years. hmmm, what does that mean? the female therp I have now has two small dogs in her office and they are adorable- I mostly pay attention to them.
take care, judy
Posted by caraher on December 29, 2004, at 15:18:21
In reply to Re: What do all these Ts actually look like?, posted by Skittles on December 29, 2004, at 12:17:02
Mine is a tall (I'm not sure if she's as tall as I am, I'm 5' 11"), slim 40-ish woman. She has brown eyes, short brown hair, and dresses stylishly but conservatively. She kind of reminds me of my youngest sister (who is also tall for a woman). I'd thought she was about 4 years younger than she actually is but since she had her baby just over a year ago she's stopped fighting the gray hair, so now it's flecked with a few silvery highlights. I actually like it much better than way. She is a direct, no-nonsense person but she does laugh at my jokes and shows considerable empathy when appropriate.
Posted by Lonely on December 30, 2004, at 1:32:10
In reply to What do all these Ts actually look like?, posted by Pfinstegg on December 28, 2004, at 10:19:40
Well, this touches on an interesting subject that I've wondered about ...!!! I've most always gone to social worker therapists and I swear that every one of them was skinny and flat chested! Maybe it's my self conscious and perhaps envious self speaking because I'm quite the opposite! <grin>
Has anyone else noticed this? Is there something about social work and therapy that either (a) attracts women who are skinny & flat chested or is there (b) something about being a therapist that causes one to be skinny? The um, "chest" thing has got to be genetic.
The one psychologist I went to for a few months was more like me but not quite as heavy ... i.e., short, chubby similar build but had female pattern baldness which I do not. She was even from my home state which is part of why I was referred to her, I guess. She seemed too overbearing, though. That's weird because I often long to "go home" to the upper midwest! Sorry for the free-association/rambling here but this is kind've a novel & cute topic!
Posted by Shortelise on December 30, 2004, at 13:51:10
In reply to What do all these Ts actually look like?, posted by Pfinstegg on December 28, 2004, at 10:19:40
My pychiatrist is not very tall, is slender, wears black rimmed glasses, is balding and wears his hair very short, and bears a slight resemblance to Woody Allen.
His clothes are nice. Normal. Not expensive.
He's lovely.
ShortE
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