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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by crushedout on December 19, 2004, at 23:50:38
I really don't see the point in life, either. I feel so hopeless these days. What a dreary existence. And why on earth did I dump my cruddy therapist? At least she gave me a reason to live. Are y'all nuts? Why'd you let me dump her? That was insane. I feel so lonely. Reading about all your Ts and your connections with them makes me so sad. This is miserable.
Posted by lifeworthliving on December 20, 2004, at 0:00:33
In reply to I hate being depressed, posted by crushedout on December 19, 2004, at 23:50:38
i don't know what to tell you. i do know miserable and think it sucks, so i'm sorry you are feeling it. what can you do right now to help yourself? what about making a list of t's you can call tomorrow and make an appt? would that help? i'm so in love with mine that i can't imagine being without one so i might look forward to calling a few if i was miserable. what about a safe friend? is there anyone you can tell that you are miserable? sometimes a funny movie helps. my personal favorite is to exercise but that just might be the bulimic in me talking? my first thought is always: OH MY GAWD, QUICK, GET TO A BAKERY!" but band aids like this shouldn't taste like maple bars. because it's nearing bedtime i'm inclined ask if you wouldn't consider a hot bath, nice music, and maybe clean sheets? smear lotion all over yourself and treat yourself like people treat infants... we love them just because they are. if all else fails, a 24 hour grocery with a bakery is sometimes salvation. eat only one, real slow. any more than that and your are going to need tums, too.
Posted by crushedout on December 20, 2004, at 0:09:08
In reply to Re: I hate being depressed, posted by lifeworthliving on December 20, 2004, at 0:00:33
thanks, lwl. your ideas are good. i forgot i have ice cream in the fridge. but nothing really cheers me up these days. i just want a different life. mostly a different place to live (i'm feeling stifled in my apartment), or maybe if i just rearranged my place. it feels very cluttered to me and that makes me depressed, but i don't have the energy to do anything about it. it's a vicious circle. i think the best idea you proposed was exercise. not right now, but soon, very soon. i need to work that back into my life. otherwise, i'm going to die.i need someone to come over and help me, make me happy, i dunno. it's awful this feeling. i hate it. i hate it. i hate it.
Posted by lifeworthliving on December 20, 2004, at 0:49:46
In reply to Re: I hate being depressed » lifeworthliving, posted by crushedout on December 20, 2004, at 0:09:08
crushedout:
there is nothing more therapeutic than getting comfy on the couch with ben and jerry but you got to eat it from the container for maximum effect. (sometimes a little duncan hines can help--am i the only one here to keep a can of frosting hidden in the back of the fridge next to the rarely used horseradish and banana peppers?)also, don't forget that sometimes the bridge between hope and despair is a little sleep (and sometimes it a divorce and xanax!) what about going to bed and fixing up all of your blankets just right, and deciding ahead of time that you won't fret if you don't sleep, you'll read a book, or maybe listen to music and cry your heart out? decide to walk in the morning. i walk 5 miles darn near everyday and ALWAYS know that on the few days i miss that i'm not going to feel as good. i never lose any weight tho because i sometimes eat caramels when i walk. also, getting outside is good grounding if you ask me. i realize i'm part of the world, that i'm not alone, and the fresh air makes me want to live long enough to be a problem to my children. i've got faith in you, crushed! you can weather this. who was it that side life is just on the other side of despair? or something like that? keep writing, hoping and all that corny stuff. i don't know why it works, but it does.
Posted by daisym on December 20, 2004, at 1:09:54
In reply to I hate being depressed, posted by crushedout on December 19, 2004, at 23:50:38
crushed,
I think you just take it a day at a time. I think we all tend to forget how miserable we were before, when steeped in the misery of today. Time has a way of glossing things over and we don't remember it being "that bad." Sort of like childbirth -- I remember with the second child thinking, "I didn't like labor the first time, what am I doing here AGAIN!?"
I suspect you are remembering all the good things about your therapist and not remembering how torn up you have been for nearly a year. You will get through this. You are grieving for lost dreams. This is hard and painful.
Try to do something with people tomorrow, but not the hustle-bustle of shopping. Buy yourself a Christmas present or sing your favorite Christmas song. Move one chair at a time.
You will get through this. Hang on.
Posted by fallsfall on December 20, 2004, at 8:33:13
In reply to I hate being depressed, posted by crushedout on December 19, 2004, at 23:50:38
(((((Crushed)))))
It is so hard, isn't it? I know that you are hurting (boy do I know...), and I wish I could make the hurt stop. But all I can do is tell you that you had really good reasons to stop seeing her, and that this agony won't be constant. It will be bad, and then it will get a little better, and then it will get bad again, and again, and again. But as Daisy mentioned, you haven't been happy for the last year. This is a different kind of unhappiness, but I really believe that this unhappiness will eventually go away - and that the earlier unhappiness would have gone on forever.
Liveworthliving had some good suggestions. And see my new thread below on the power of ice cream.
Do nice things for yourself, refuse to get stressed by the season - even to the point of deciding who wouldn't be unhappy if you didn't have their present before Xmas, and make a "later" list. Consider asking someone to give you a "bye" on a present for Xmas (their gift to you is that you don't have to give them a gift).
I'm playing a lot of computer games. Cubis is my new favorite, but it doesn't play well with Yahoo! messenger and I have to keep rebooting my computer. Finally I payed the money and downloaded it.
Send me an email if you would like. Or look for me on Messenger.
Love,
Falls.
Posted by crushedout on December 20, 2004, at 21:45:05
In reply to Re: I hate being depressed » crushedout, posted by fallsfall on December 20, 2004, at 8:33:13
I think you guys think I'm depressed because I miss my T, and that's part of it I suppose. But I'm depressed because life S^CKS!!!! It's so lame, and boring, and pointless, and devoid of true happiness. Or lasting happiness. And it's just the same B.S. day in and day out. And I in particular have a cr*ppy life, a cr*ppy apartment, and no one to love. Many of you, who also know depression very well, at least have nice homes and families (and probably even carpets!) -- I delude myself into thinking if I had these things, I would be happy. But then how come all of you aren't perfectly happy? Because that's an illusion also. Which means there really IS no hope.So, yes, I miss my T, because she was a little spark of joy (or at least emotion) in this dreary existence of mine, but getting over her is not going to solve my problem. My problem runs much deeper. So I'm basically scr*wed and it will never get better. Or, even if it does, it will get worse again. So, what's the point?
Sorry to be such a downer.
Posted by fallsfall on December 20, 2004, at 23:01:01
In reply to Here's the thing (caution: could be demoralizing), posted by crushedout on December 20, 2004, at 21:45:05
Ah. I understand.
Yes, life can suck. And carpets are not a joy when you have a dog who is less house trained than you would like. Fortunately, I have areas that aren't carpeted, as well.
I have to go to bed now. I'll try to write tomorrow.
Posted by crushedout on December 20, 2004, at 23:17:29
In reply to Re: Here's the thing (caution: could be demoralizing) » crushedout, posted by fallsfall on December 20, 2004, at 23:01:01
goodnight falls. i hope i didn't sound snotty in addition to demoralizing. i think it was perfectly understandable for anyone to think i was depressed because of the ex-t. i sort of made it sound like that. so i only meant to clarify, not to be snotty.
This is the end of the thread.
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