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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 5 to 29 of 29. Go back in thread:
Posted by gardenergirl on September 26, 2004, at 20:59:13
In reply to Re: Dream about T » shortelise, posted by lookdownfish on September 26, 2004, at 17:02:16
Hey, I had what seemed like a really good reply the other day, but it's not here???
I don't know if I can recreate it. I'll try and get back to you.
:(gg
Posted by shortelise on September 27, 2004, at 14:50:43
In reply to Re: Dream about T » shortelise, posted by lookdownfish on September 26, 2004, at 17:02:16
I know, I know, the cigar(ette) thing has been going through my head too.
***sigh***
ShortE
Posted by shortelise on September 27, 2004, at 14:52:15
In reply to Re: Dream about T » shortelise, posted by crushedout on September 26, 2004, at 16:26:14
I screwed up -
Yes, the cigar(ette) thing keeps going through my mind too.
ShortE
Posted by shortelise on September 27, 2004, at 14:58:42
In reply to Re: Dream about T » shortelise, posted by lookdownfish on September 26, 2004, at 17:02:16
Crushed, that makes me feel so much better!
In fact, I have been wanting to smoke lately - really wanting to. I quit about five years ago now and have only smoked maybe five cigarettes since.
I see them as filling a need, a place that's empty. I miss them. I wish I could smoke. But they are so bad for me, and I need to stay finsihed with them.
Hmm. It's a good analogy to ending therapy. Do I think it would be "bad" for me to stay in therapy? Hmm.
Food for thought. Thanks.
ShortE
Posted by shortelise on September 27, 2004, at 14:59:23
In reply to Re: Dream about T, posted by gardenergirl on September 26, 2004, at 20:59:13
Please try, gg! Thanks,
ShortE
Posted by gardenergirl on September 28, 2004, at 20:05:10
In reply to Re: Dream about T » lookdownfish, posted by shortelise on September 27, 2004, at 14:58:42
Hi Shorte,
I think this is similar to what I said before...I started with the car...you could say that your T is taking you on a journey (he was driving, right?) Or were you stopped...hmmm, that might indicate being stuck or having arrived. He offers you a cigarette (we'll leave the Freudian stuff out for now)...and you take two, but are embarrassed. He's offering you something that perhaps you used to use to calm yourself. But you both know this behavior is not in your best interest. And he's doing it too. So, perhaps you are seeing him as less than ideal now...more realistically? Or you want more from him than you think you should take?And the cigarette is, yes, a phallic symbol. So you could be wanting desperately to internalize him as it is something you take in via your mouth. (anyone for an ewwwww here?) But your dream is just using language that are symbols. So an oral fantasy, and cigarettes are oral more than phallic IMO, but I'm no dream expert...seems like a wish for nourishment or taking in your T.
So, was it worth the wait??? The most important thing, though is what YOU free associate to all the symbols. Dreams are a link from the unconscious to the conscious. Only your associations can create the path.
Good luck or hope it went well..not sure when you see him again..
gg
Posted by Annierose on September 28, 2004, at 22:33:14
In reply to Dream about T, posted by shortelise on September 25, 2004, at 13:42:30
Posted by shortelise on September 29, 2004, at 17:14:19
In reply to Re: So did you tell your T the dream? (nm) » shortelise, posted by Annierose on September 28, 2004, at 22:33:14
and will tell him then. I am a bit embarrassed about coming here and telling you all this dream - I'm embarrassed about coming here at all to tell the truth. I don't know if I can tell him about you.
But I do have to tell him this dream, and I really feel the interpretations os both gg and ... the other - forgive my blank mind.I will now go and have a rest and think more about this dream.
Last night I dreamt I was riding a horse along narrow, dangerous path on a cliff edge. I was afraid, so sure the horse would stumble but he didn't, he took the high, narrow trail surefootedly.
ShortE
Posted by Annierose on September 29, 2004, at 18:44:08
In reply to I see him tomorrow, posted by shortelise on September 29, 2004, at 17:14:19
I think your new dream says alot. You feel like you're on shakey ground, but you will be sure footed and move forward. Good Luck. You can do this!
Posted by shortelise on September 30, 2004, at 19:36:16
In reply to Re: Interesting new dream » shortelise, posted by Annierose on September 29, 2004, at 18:44:08
Thanks for all the responses, everyone.
I had every intention of telling him my cigarette dream today but BUT I had such an interesting dream last night: I dreamt that I was walking on 1st street, and there was a man on the other side of the street holding a baby, with him was a little girl. On my side of the street was a couple in their 30's. When I had walked past them, the little girl came across the street and asked me to take her with me.
Without words I understood that the couple were her parents, and that they did not understand her. I told her I could not take her with me, but that she must tell them when they are unkind that she is trying, doing her best. I hoped she would remember.This dream seemed so revealing, my T holding his own child, integrated, self-realized, watching me from the other side of the street, me unable to assume responsibility for my child, my self, having to leave her there with those critical voices, her parents.
It was a good session. At the end I told him the other dream very briefly. I said I'd tell it to him entirely in two weeks when I see him again.
ShortE
Posted by daisym on September 30, 2004, at 20:14:25
In reply to Saw T, posted by shortelise on September 30, 2004, at 19:36:16
You certainly have had a few powerful dreams in a row! I'm glad you had a good session. I think your interpretation is interesting. I was thinking it might be that your T has your youngest self but the older you get the more you feel you need to be responsible for speaking up to those critical voices. But you are still in view of him.
Of course...this is exactly my issue so I'm completely projecting here. *sigh* Can I use your dreams instead of mine?
Posted by shortelise on October 1, 2004, at 13:35:27
In reply to Re: Saw T, posted by daisym on September 30, 2004, at 20:14:25
Daisy, that is really interesting, that he might be holding the youngest me. I feel like crying when I think of it that way, so you may be onto something.
My T tells me that there are many ways of interpreting the same dream, that they are layered with meaning.I don't see why you shouldn't use my dreams - as long as we don't have the same T. Wouldn't that be funny?
I live by the sea. If you do too, maybe you should stick with your own dreams - lol.
ShortE
Posted by shortelise on October 1, 2004, at 13:38:20
In reply to Re: Saw T, posted by daisym on September 30, 2004, at 20:14:25
Abd your T sounds a lot, a LOT like mine. He would have been just the same with the stuffed animal.
We are very lucky.
ShortE
Posted by Susan47 on October 1, 2004, at 20:54:35
In reply to Re: Saw T » daisym, posted by shortelise on October 1, 2004, at 13:35:27
I don't know why you shouldn't use my dreams ... that just sounds so cute, why'm'I thinking Woody Allen? (how do you do the emoticon with the glasses? :)
Posted by Daisym on October 1, 2004, at 21:20:02
In reply to Re: Saw T » daisym, posted by shortelise on October 1, 2004, at 13:35:27
My therapist will go back to dreams and see which things have changed over time. He said he believes that the way we remember them, and then how we switch things around is an indicator of our internal contructs...and how we organize things via our internal expectations. Which is why he keeps a dream diary of his own.
I didn't mean to make you tear up, but if it provoked such a powerful response, I guess the question is why you didn't see that possibility yourself...and why did it touch something off in you? The answer might be the really obvious one, but I do sometimes like the exercise of looking at dreams in which everything in it is some part of us...so which part of you is your therapist?
Last night I dreamed that I had to make a speech and the podium was 6 feet high and I'm only 5'3", so even with heels I wouldn't be able to see over. In my dream, I had to used the microphone anchored on the podium but I kept jumping up and down to judge the audience reactions...but I kept going and got through it.
I actually did have to give a speech today to a large audience. I opted for the clip on mic and told them about my dream. Since this was a speech about No Child Left Behind, I used the "behind" the podium dream to get a laugh. It worked.
I still want to use yours...and no, I live closer to a Bay, (S.F.) not the ocean.
Posted by crazymaisie on October 1, 2004, at 22:41:02
In reply to Re: Saw T » shortelise, posted by Daisym on October 1, 2004, at 21:20:02
hi Daisy,
kind of off topic, but i'm in sf, too. nice to know you're somewhere nearby!
maisie
Posted by Daisym on October 1, 2004, at 22:48:18
In reply to Re: Saw T » Daisym, posted by crazymaisie on October 1, 2004, at 22:41:02
Nice to know I have friends close and far. It felt for awhile like there were only a few of us here on West Coast time. Maybe we can resurrect Babble Open again.
I just wish it hadn't turned so cold already. I'm not ready yet!
Posted by crazymaisie on October 1, 2004, at 22:56:16
In reply to internet neighbors, posted by Daisym on October 1, 2004, at 22:48:18
i hear you about the weather, i'm only here a year so i'm only getting used to the sudden unexpected temp changes. i come from a colder climate, though, so i'm not complaining (too much)
maisie
Posted by crazymaisie on October 1, 2004, at 22:58:26
In reply to internet neighbors, posted by Daisym on October 1, 2004, at 22:48:18
btw, i was in open, but got cut off again. there are a few people in there right now. i'll try and go back in a bit
m
Posted by shortelise on October 2, 2004, at 0:09:19
In reply to Re: Saw T » shortelise, posted by Daisym on October 1, 2004, at 21:20:02
I'm not great at interpreting my own dreams. Sometimes it helps to use the Gestalt thing of being everyone and everything in the dream and telling it from those perspectives.
Maybe I didn't see him as holding my infant self because I am supposed to be beyond that.
He says that I need to continue to evolve, to grow, without him. That I can't do it if I stay with him, that finding my capacity to take care of myself is an essential step to being ... well, whatever it is I am trying for. Mature, integrated, in control of my life and self.
Am I in some way trying to leave my infant self in the safety of his caring?
I think it's time for bed. Maybe I'll have a dream to further illuminate these questions.
I'm on the same ocean! Not very close, but the same ocean!
ShortE
Posted by shortelise on October 3, 2004, at 15:05:19
In reply to Re: Saw T » shortelise, posted by Daisym on October 1, 2004, at 21:20:02
Hi Daisy,
Hoefully you'll see on the list below when you read this that I did respond to your last post - just for some reason it is not shwoing up on the main list.
ShortE
Posted by daisym on October 3, 2004, at 15:35:02
In reply to response not visible » Daisym, posted by shortelise on October 3, 2004, at 15:05:19
Weird! I did see your response but I have no idea why it isn't showing on the main list. A glitch, I guess.
I know you are further along than I am in your therapy. My therapist points out how strong I am, but he works hard to get me to let him help me. Especially the younger parts of me. I guess I haven't crossed the street yet. I hope when I do, I can leave my youngest self with my therapist and go on without having to take care of her. I'll have memories but not her driving need. The intensity of the need scares me sometimes, I think "no wonder I was abused. Look at the signals I must have been sending." Now, my rational mind can argue with this, but my heart of heart wonders.
My latest dream is very revealing. I've been sleeping maybe 3 hours a night, due to workload and intrusive memories. In it I dream that I went into a session and asked my therapist to put me in the hospital for a week, just to rest. That I was exhausted from trying to be normal and to keep quiet all the voices in my head. He refused, said I was doing well enough, better than I thought actually. But I still hadn't learned to just accept "good enough." So I nodded like a good girl, said I would keep trying and left. And in the dream what I knew I hadn't told him was that my husband had slapped me. But I had a black eye and still he didn't ask about it, didn't notice. So, I drove to the bridge and jumped off. I woke up before I hit. But, I was still dreaming though, because the next thing I remember, I was in the hospital and my therapist was there saying he couldn't help me if I didn't tell him how bad I was really feeling. That I didn't need to hurt myself to get into the hospital. And in the dream I heard all the voices, one saying I was sorry, I would try harder; one saying I did try to tell you how bad I was feeling, you didn't listen; and one saying to just go away, I needed to sleep.It was weird and vivid and I hope medication induced. AND, I don't really want to tell him about it because it will lead right to the discussion about the push/pull I have with him and with therapy. And I'm sure he is very tired of that discussion.
Posted by fallsfall on October 3, 2004, at 16:36:08
In reply to Re: response not visible » shortelise, posted by daisym on October 3, 2004, at 15:35:02
He's not tired of the discussion because you still need to have it. I'm sure he would like to hear about your dream.
Posted by daisym on October 3, 2004, at 16:59:05
In reply to Re: response not visible » daisym, posted by fallsfall on October 3, 2004, at 16:36:08
I knew you were going to say that. I think you two are ganging up on me. I should just pay you...
Someone please tell me how to stop struggling with/against this! I have looped 22 times this weekend with "I'll cancel Monday, because I'm fine, no...I should cancel wednesdays because I'm busy...no, I shouldn't cancel at all, just go in there and make it all be OK...no, I need to tell him that I'm looping like this"
MAKE IT STOP!!!
I swear, I understand why people self medicate. If I didn't have so much work to do I think wine might help. Instead, I'm on coffee overload, with sugar thrown in for good measure.
I'm looking at all of this and asking myself, "who has meetings at 5pm on Sunday?" This is nuts.
Posted by fallsfall on October 4, 2004, at 10:49:52
In reply to Going Nuts » fallsfall, posted by daisym on October 3, 2004, at 16:59:05
Dr. Bob will yell at us if we talk about money changing hands... You have my email address, don't you?? Just kidding, Dr. Bob.
Meetings on Sunday at 5PM ARE nuts.
Do not cancel any of your sessions. Can you do another "experiment"? Where you promise yourself that you will go without question to every session for a month? Don't give yourself the option of cancelling - that way you won't have to have *that* discussion in your head. (P.S. Didn't he just add back in weekend phone checkins with you? Why would you think that cancelling sessions would be appropriate when he is trying to *increase* contact?)
You should tell him about the "looping". There are techniques to help with that. "Putting it in a box" or "Putting it on the shelf" can help. You can either make your decision (give yourself 5 minutes to think about it) and then "put it away", or "put it away" without a decision but with a promise that you can think about it again at some specific future time. My Relax to Sleep tape directs me to put stuff into a box, but tells me that I can take it out in the morning if I want to. So you aren't putting it away forever - just for a specific time so you can focus on other things (like sleep, or your 5PM Sunday meeting).
Sometimes writing down stream of consciousness works for me on this. Writing it down makes me organize it better in my head, so it is clearer to me what decision I am making. There also is often the sense that if I write it down that I can stick the thoughts onto the paper, so I don't need to keep them in my head where they keep rattling around.
Or write a post or email about your dilemma - by the time I have explained the situation I often start to feel foolish about it being such a dilemma (and letting people know that is is such a dilemma for me). And the best choice is often pretty obvious by the time the post is done.
I guess the trick it to "compartmentalize" (my therapist's new favorite word). Give the thoughts *some* time, but not *unlimited* time. And allow other parts of your life to have "their" time, too.
Like when you are having a really busy work day with lots of crises, but you have to go to a parent-teacher conference for your kid. You leave work and shut down the work issues, and open up the kid issues. While you are driving to the school you try to "wrap things up" on your work things so that you have a place to come back to (sometimes we even do this by writing down the current ideas/issues). Then you start to remember what you wanted to talk to the teacher about so that by the time you are at the school, you are focused on your child.
Thanks, Daisy, I've been having trouble with this recently - writing it out for you has helped to make it clearer for me!!
Falls.
This is the end of the thread.
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