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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 14 of 14. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Poet on May 3, 2004, at 14:55:16
"Inpatient." So much more pleasant than locked on a psych ward. Changing the wording doesn't change that it scares me. I know it's a safe place, I know my meds aren't working, and my T is concerned about me. But I don't want to go there.
I've never seen a pdoc, the idea scares me. The idea of a psychiatric profile scares me. The idea of being unable to open a door and go outside scares me.
She believes I'll uphold the no harm agreement, but really wants me somewhere safe until I feel better.
Help.
Poet
Posted by All Done on May 3, 2004, at 15:15:01
In reply to T pushing for inpatient- scared, very scared, posted by Poet on May 3, 2004, at 14:55:16
(((((Poet))))),
Don't be afraid. You are strong, but it's okay to get help from others sometimes (*lots* of others, if you need to). It sounds like you have a good T, but I know my T always says it's probably best if I use a combination of talk therapy and meds through a pdoc.
There are probably a few people here who can tell you how going to the hospital helped them. It can help you, too.
I'm so sorry things are so tough for you right now.
Please take care,
All Done
Posted by Penny on May 3, 2004, at 15:25:46
In reply to T pushing for inpatient- scared, very scared, posted by Poet on May 3, 2004, at 14:55:16
It's not a wonderful place, Poet, but it's not a terrible place either.
What helped me the most was meeting so many others who 'got it'. They UNDERSTOOD how I was feeling. And, seriously, they were more help to me than the 'professionals' on the ward. And we were all in it together.
Remember - a hospital visit is a short-term fix, a way to keep yourself safe until the worst passes. And it will pass. And then you can return home and be better able to deal with the stuff in your life.
My T and pdoc called me frequently during my week in the hospital. Also, my pdoc called and arranged for me to be a 'direct admit' so I wouldn't have to go through the ER. Perhaps your T could do the same? It makes it a bit easier, I do believe.
I went straight from my pdoc's office, so I didn't have a bag, but it would have been better if I had. My roommate at the time brought me one. Absolute requirements (to me) are comfy clothes, comfy pjs, comfy shoes, books (or puzzle books - crosswords, word search, jumbles), hygiene items (I'm sure the rules vary from hospital to hospital), and a pillow, as the hospital pillows are hard as a brick. Other than that, it's go as you are. Oh - at the hospital where I was, a little pocket change came in handy as they had a drink machine in the hall and that enabled me to get my caffeine fix without resorting to coffee. :-)
Anyway, seriously Poet - it's not a terrible place. I won't lie and say that all the folks who work in a psych ward should be working there, but there are some who are in the right career and are helpful, and the other patients (IMO) can be more helpful than all the rest. It's just a bit of a break for you - a chance to step back and take a breather and know that you don't have to make any real decisions for a little while. And it really can help. It's certainly worth a try.
(((Poet)))
Please take care of you.
P
Posted by Aphrodite on May 3, 2004, at 15:32:31
In reply to T pushing for inpatient- scared, very scared, posted by Poet on May 3, 2004, at 14:55:16
I have not been to a pdoc either. I am sorry I have no experience here but just wanted to offer my support.
I was glad to read Penny's post; sounds like it can be a good call on your therapist's part.
It may be a good thing to be safe while they adjust your medications so you can feel better very soon.
Best of luck.
Posted by joslynn on May 3, 2004, at 15:47:15
In reply to T pushing for inpatient- scared, very scared, posted by Poet on May 3, 2004, at 14:55:16
I was an in-patient for about a week and it was probably the best thing that happened to me. I was in bad shape and came from an ER. It made me realize I had to change and gave me some ideas for doing that. In the hospital, I finally had the guts to go on meds, because they really explained them to me and I felt safer in the monitored environment. (I was anti-meds before then.) I did make a new friend too, who I am still in touch with. She is doing pretty good. The pdocs, nurses and social workers, with one exception, were all incredibly competent and caring.
Do bring the items suggested above. Also, bring layers, or a cardigan sweater, they can be very over-air conditioned!
Posted by Dinah on May 3, 2004, at 16:37:20
In reply to T pushing for inpatient- scared, very scared, posted by Poet on May 3, 2004, at 14:55:16
Poet, if there's any chance that you aren't safe with yourself, I think your therapist has a good suggestion. What do you think, deep in your heart. Is the hospital a good place for you right now?
Posted by noa on May 3, 2004, at 19:29:15
In reply to T pushing for inpatient- scared, very scared, posted by Poet on May 3, 2004, at 14:55:16
You won't necessarily be on a locked ward or if you are, perhaps not for long once you are feeling more stabilized.
Hospitalization can be a way to contain and hold until you feel safer.
Can you ask to find out more about the hospital before you agree to go? Would that help--to have questions about the unknowns answered first?
I was hospitalized once a long time ago--I checked my self in, really. And I thought about it seriously again just a few years ago. I was in a rather mediocre hospital, actually, but even that helped me get through a major rough spot when I was in despair and not safe.
I'll be thinking about you. Take care.
Posted by noa on May 3, 2004, at 19:33:41
In reply to Re: T pushing for inpatient- scared, very scared » Poet, posted by noa on May 3, 2004, at 19:29:15
I just want to add, for clarification, that the hospital I was at was KNOWN as mediocre (but it was on my health plan), and even that served the purpose fairly well. Hopefully yours will be higher quality.
Posted by DaisyM on May 3, 2004, at 20:13:34
In reply to Re: hospital---Poet, posted by noa on May 3, 2004, at 19:33:41
Poet,
If you don't want to go to the hospital can your husband take some time off and be with you? Or friends and family? I know it is tough to admit that you *need* them to help you watch over yourself but this might be a good alternative. And if you are up at night, get someone up with you. 2am is the loneliest time in the world.Sending you strength and hope.
Daisy
Posted by gardenergirl on May 3, 2004, at 21:40:45
In reply to Re: hospital---Poet, posted by DaisyM on May 3, 2004, at 20:13:34
Poet,
I know you will do what is best for you. I am sending you positive energy and hope that whatever you decide, you remain safe. Please take care.
gg
Posted by mair on May 3, 2004, at 21:51:18
In reply to Re: hospital---Poet, posted by DaisyM on May 3, 2004, at 20:13:34
Poet - I've never been admitted but a few years ago it seemed to be my T's favorite topic, at least for several weeks. She was even starting to talk about involuntary admissions which really freaked me out, at least until I checked out the law and figured out that she'd never be successful.
I hated talking about it and I honestly thought I'd rather die than go to a hospital and be saddled with a psychiatric history, but talking about it here and talking about it so much with my therapist really demystified the whole experience. By the time I started accepting that it might not be a bad move, the immediate crisis passed (with the help of a meds change), and it no longer seemed necessary. It also helped that I let my husband know what was going on (he's usually totally in the dark) and his reaction was more supportive than I expected.
I'd really encourage you not to just dismiss the idea out of hand. When it was an issue with me, I remember someone here said that when she went into the hospital, it was the first time she really admitted that she needed the help of others. Lots of us seem to be unable to ask for what we need; letting someone else care for you for awhile may be a really positive step.
Mair
Posted by Racer on May 3, 2004, at 22:27:02
In reply to Re: hospital---Poet, posted by mair on May 3, 2004, at 21:51:18
You know, the hospital isn't such a bad place to be in some situations. Sure, you can't just walk out, but it has its good sides too -- and I was in a really lousy facility! (One that was considered to be worse than the local county facility. The county system had to use it when their own facility was overcrowded, but they didn't like to use it.) (Oh, yeah, it wasn't voluntary...)
The one thing that the hospital does is REMOVE YOU FROM YOUR STRESSORS. That may not seem like much, but you know what? It really and truly is a great relief. Honest to goodness -- it makes such a difference. Sure, it's not as good as a fabulous island vacation, but it really and truly does relieve the stresses that get so overwhelming.
It is really scary to be hospitalized. The thought of it is almost too overwhelming to contemplate. On the other hand, from what you've been writing lately, it really might give you the chance to let go of some of it, take a few deep breathes, get an expert involved in your meds and maybe even HELP MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER.
Best to you, and I hope it helps.
Posted by Poet on May 3, 2004, at 22:36:42
In reply to T pushing for inpatient- scared, very scared, posted by Poet on May 3, 2004, at 14:55:16
Posted by DaisyM on May 5, 2004, at 1:12:24
In reply to Will call T tomorrow, will post. Thanks so much (nm), posted by Poet on May 3, 2004, at 22:36:42
This is the end of the thread.
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