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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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Posted by EmmyS on March 24, 2004, at 13:08:14
In reply to *Warning, may trigger!!!!** (suicide) » toomuchpain, posted by Karen_kay on March 24, 2004, at 12:46:55
and a Standing Ovation for KK!! Right ON Girly!!
I'm sorry you've been having such a crud day. Isn't it nice the way helping other people can help change our own bad days?
It reminded me of this:
Ubuntu is very difficult to render into a Western language. It speaks of the very essence of being human. It is to say, “My humanity is caught up, is inextricably bound up in yours”. We belong in a bundle of life. A person with Ubuntu is open and available to others, affirming of others, does not feel threatened that others are able and good, for he or she has a proper self-assurance that comes from knowing that he or she belongs in a greater whole and is diminished when others are humiliated or diminished, when others are tortured or oppressed, or treated as if they were less than who they are.
– Desmond Tutu
Posted by toomuchpain on March 24, 2004, at 15:07:09
In reply to Re: a new beginning YEA RIGHT!! » toomuchpain, posted by justyourlaugh on March 24, 2004, at 10:16:10
im sorry i didnt know i should do that ill rember next time i post
Posted by toomuchpain on March 24, 2004, at 15:17:38
In reply to *Warning, may trigger!!!!** (suicide) » toomuchpain, posted by Karen_kay on March 24, 2004, at 12:46:55
> Un-fricken-believable! I'd swear on my life, right here as I sit, that you have to be one of the strongest women I know. Do you know that today, on my way to class I had to stop myself three different times from walking in front of traffic? And I was whining and complaining how very much my life is pathetic, that I just can't take care of myself, blah blah blah.... And then, I open your post and remember all the struggles that you face and it reminds me that you are such a very strong and courageous woman and I have no business at all for even thinking that I should stop trying. Now listen up.... You've helped me so much today, and I want to help you... (And under normal circumstances I would never, ever admit how I was feeling earlier, so please don't comment on it either, ok??? I'd rather just erase it from my memory.)
>
> Are you able to find another therapist anywhere? A different city? Somewhere perhaps a bit further away even? Also, you need to find out who is in charge and RIP that person a NEW ONE!!! Now, I'm not one to normally do this type of thing, but in this case, it is completely warranted and deserved! Is there even a community mental health service you could try? Anything? I also agree with contacting NAMI and explaining the situation. They could be a great advocate for you and your mental health. If you need help with that, please don't hesitate to let someone, anyone know. This jacking you around has got to stop, and you need to let them know that you WILL NOT tolerate it any further!!!! Listen, you really have helped me today and I want you to know I appreciate it. You'll get through this and you'll be an even stronger person for it. I applaud you (literally!!!!) *clappppppppssssssss!!!!!!!!* Now, get online and get NAMI's number!!! NOW!
>
>
> THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR UR SUPPORT ... WELL I DID CONTACT THE OLD PLACE AND THEY SAID I WOULD HAVE TO FILE A GRIEVNCE ... SO I GOT MY LIL BUTT UP THERE AND FILED ONE AND NOW I WILL GO IN FRONT OF A SOME BOARD MEMEBRS.. I WILL EXPLAIN WHAT HAS HAPPENED ... AND THEY WILL DETERMINE IF THIS DISCHARGE FROM MY EX T WAS FOR MY BENIFIT OR WAS IT OUT OF PURE INSECIURTIES OF MY EX T AND BASCIALLY TO FIND WHAT MY MENTAL STATE IS FROM THIS DISCHARGE AND TO FIND OUT HOW MUCH OF MY PROGRESS HAS DOWNFALLED SINCE THIS THING STARTED..
NAMI???? WHAT IS THAT ??? I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THAT IS ..I WILL HAVE TO FACEMY EX T IN THIS HEARING THING ... MAYBE IT WILL GOOD TO GET ALOT OF OUT OF THE WAY AND OFF MY CHEST AND MAYBE HE WILL SEE THAT HE REALLY DID AFFECT ME AND MY LIFE ....
I AM SO GLAD I HELPED U TODAY ...
Posted by pegasus on March 24, 2004, at 15:29:44
In reply to a new beginning YEA RIGHT!!, posted by toomuchpain on March 24, 2004, at 9:43:06
Oh, toomuchpain, that is just awful! I can't imagine being in that situation. Especially the moment that you got the name of your "new" T. But please don't give up.
I agree with everyone here that you are not being given acceptable service. Your current T sounds horrible, and unacceptable. She should not laugh at your difficulties or refuse to help you deal with the loss of your old T. No one should have to stand for that. And being reassigned to your old T is just not ok.
I know it's hard to do the things that are left for you, but I really agree with everyone else that you need to talk to the director of your old agency, or your new agency, or NAMI or all three. Or get someone else to talk to them for you if you don't think you can handle that. Maybe you could write down the major issues, so it's easier to communicate to them.
And please take care of yourself through all this. Do you have things that you've done in the past that helped you get through hard times? Can you tell us about those things?
(((((tmp)))))
- p
Posted by EmmyS on March 24, 2004, at 16:29:25
In reply to Re: *Warning, may trigger!!!!** (suicide), posted by toomuchpain on March 24, 2004, at 15:17:38
www.nami.org
National Alliance for the Mentally Ill.
It's an organization of people who advocate for people with mental illness. They are very political, and not all people go along with all parts and pieces of their agenda - BUT they are very good at advocating for people who are lost in the system. Many of the people who work there are "survivors" and current consumers of the mental health system.
Emmy
Posted by terrics on March 24, 2004, at 16:58:27
In reply to a new beginning YEA RIGHT!!, posted by toomuchpain on March 24, 2004, at 9:43:06
What horrid luck. There has to be a way around it. Are you able to find out when another T. will have an opening? Maybe if it is not too far off you could wait a little. That may be dumb advice as I do not know your situation right now. I hope you find someone really good. Keep posting in the mean time. terrics
Posted by Joslynn on March 24, 2004, at 17:13:39
In reply to Re: *Warning, may trigger!!!!** (suicide), posted by toomuchpain on March 24, 2004, at 15:17:38
That is so great that in the midst of being upset, you went up there and filed a grievance!
I think this board hearing may be a good thing, if for no other reason than to make them aware that one of their therapists is kicking people out because of his own issues and not providing good follow-up.
Remember to tell them that you didn't have a problem with the self injury until after all this happened (I think that's what you said, right?).
They should know that this whole experience has actually made you feel worse in the long run and resort to unhealthy coping skills. Therapy is supposed to help you feel better and find more healthy coping skills. Their botching of your situation has caused the opposite effect and they should know that.
Good for you for filling out the grievance paperwork. Let us know when the hearing is.
Posted by Fallen4myT on March 24, 2004, at 18:00:34
In reply to Good for you! » toomuchpain, posted by Joslynn on March 24, 2004, at 17:13:39
Posted by gardenergirl on March 24, 2004, at 18:17:27
In reply to Good for you! » toomuchpain, posted by Joslynn on March 24, 2004, at 17:13:39
I second this. You are so strong! I'm so sorry that you have to be dealing with this. What an outrage. It makes me embarrassed and sad for my future profession when there are organizations who are supposed to help that can be so careless. And what a horribly surreal experience it must have been to see your old T's name on the form. ((((toomuchpain)))) I can't imagine how I might have reacted to such a shock.
You go girl, with that grievance! We are all here standing with you in support. I'll keep my fingers crossed and my thoughts with you that this can be worked out. And try to find a local NAMI rep. to stand with you as well.
Keep posting. We'll do what we can to help you from here until this gets straightened out.
gg
Posted by toomuchpain on March 24, 2004, at 23:56:33
In reply to Re: a new beginning YEA RIGHT!!, posted by pegasus on March 24, 2004, at 15:29:44
> And please take care of yourself through all this. Do you have things that you've done in the past that helped you get through hard times? Can you tell us about those things?well i have writtin poems and i have just wrote all my feelings on paper.... today when i was there though i had no way else of gettin through this but cutting... i also have listened to angry music that describes how i feel at that point in time... i have talked to family members mostly my mom since i am only 23 yrs old and livin home ... i have put alot of stress in my house cus of this sitiuion .. my mom someimes wacthes me sleep and i cry in my sleep and i talk about how much i am hurtin inside ... she is very worried about me ... i am worried about my self ....
at this point this place here is my main support ... the ppl one here are the most caring ppl i have came across in a long time i am so glad i found this place when i did .... thank u everyone for ur supposr and words of wisdom....
Posted by toomuchpain on March 24, 2004, at 23:57:53
In reply to Re: www.nami.org » toomuchpain, posted by EmmyS on March 24, 2004, at 16:29:25
thank you i will get in contact with them ... i think i may need the extra help on this one!!!!
Posted by toomuchpain on March 25, 2004, at 0:00:03
In reply to Re: a new beginning YEA RIGHT!! » toomuchpain, posted by terrics on March 24, 2004, at 16:58:27
> What horrid luck. There has to be a way around it. Are you able to find out when another T. will have an opening? Maybe if it is not too far off you could wait a little. That may be dumb advice as I do not know your situation right now. I hope you find someone really good. Keep posting in the mean time. terrics
umm... if u would like i could explain my situation to u if u would like to know just let me know ok >>
Posted by toomuchpain on March 25, 2004, at 0:06:06
In reply to Good for you! » toomuchpain, posted by Joslynn on March 24, 2004, at 17:13:39
>
> I think this board hearing may be a good thing, if for no other reason than to make them aware that one of their therapists is kicking people out because of his own issues and not providing good follow-up.
> I DO BELIVE THAT THIS HEARING IS A GOOD THING IT IS VERY PAINFUL THOUGH AND IT HURTS ME TO KNOW THAT I MAY BE HURTING HIM TOOO .... BUT IN ANOTHER SINCE MAYBE I CAN STOP THIS FROM HAPPENING TO SOMEONE ELSE MAYBE SOMEONE WHO IS NOT HAS STRONG WILLED AS I AM ... I WOULDNT WANT TO SEE ANYONE GO THROUGH WHAT I AM GOING THROUGH !!!> Remember to tell them that you didn't have a problem with the self injury until after all this happened (I think that's what you said, right?).
YOUR CORRECT .. I STARTED SELF INJURY AFTER ALL THIS
> They should know that this whole experience has actually made you feel worse in the long run and resort to unhealthy coping skills. Therapy is supposed to help you feel better and find more healthy coping skills. Their botching of your situation has caused the opposite effect and they should know that.
I REALLY THINK THEY DO KNOW THAT BUT WONT ADMIT THAT ONE OF THERE BEST THERAPIST'S HAS DONE THIS ...> Good for you for filling out the grievance paperwork. Let us know when the hearing is.
I WILL LET U KNOW HOW IT GOES THE HEARING IS SCHDULED FOR MONDAY AT 815 AM EASTREN STANDRED TIME...
Posted by toomuchpain on March 25, 2004, at 0:11:32
In reply to Re: Good for you!, posted by gardenergirl on March 24, 2004, at 18:17:27
> I second this. You are so strong! I'm so sorry that you have to be dealing with this. THANK U .. I AM TRYING TO BE STRONG!!
What an outrage. It makes me embarrassed and sad for my future profession when there are organizations who are supposed to help that can be so careless. I DONT THINK U SHOULD BE EMBARSSED CUS NOT EVERY PLACE / THERAPIST IS LIKE THIS I GUESS I JUST GOT A FEW BAD APPLES !!! I THINK MAYBE THEY NEED A FEW GOOD PPL OUT THERE TO WEED OUT THE BAD ONES!!
And what a horribly surreal experience it must have been to see your old T's name on the form. ((((toomuchpain)))) I can't imagine how I might have reacted to such a shock.
I RREACTED HORRIBALY ... I WAS I N DISBELIF !!! I COULD NOT BELIVE IT ... IT ACTUALLY MADE ME VERY ILL
> You go girl, with that grievance! We are all here standing with you in support. I'll keep my fingers crossed and my thoughts with you that this can be worked out. And try to find a local NAMI rep. to stand with you as well.I AM CONTACTING THEM IN THE MORNING ...I APPERACTITE EVERYONES CARING THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS FOR ME I THINK I WILL NEED THIS ... AND JUST TO LET EVERYONE KNOW U ALL R ALWAYS IN MY THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS ...
Posted by Dinah on March 25, 2004, at 1:09:09
In reply to Re: Good for you! » Joslynn, posted by toomuchpain on March 25, 2004, at 0:06:06
I'm glad you're doing what you need to do to get help for yourself. And I'm glad it's coming up so soon, too. The really important thing is to figure out some way for you to get a decent therapist.
Posted by fallsfall on March 25, 2004, at 7:47:45
In reply to Re: Good for you! » Joslynn, posted by toomuchpain on March 25, 2004, at 0:06:06
You really are strong. I'm so impressed that you filled out the grievance paper, and that you will go to the meeting on Monday.
I have my pom-poms, I'll cheer you on!
TooMuchPain, TooMuchPain, That old therapist is to blame!
TooMuchPain, TooMuchPain, Needs some caring to be sane!
Posted by gardenergirl on March 25, 2004, at 8:35:11
In reply to Re: Good for you! » toomuchpain, posted by fallsfall on March 25, 2004, at 7:47:45
Posted by toomuchpain on March 25, 2004, at 12:47:15
In reply to Sending positive energy, especially Mon. a.m. (nm), posted by gardenergirl on March 25, 2004, at 8:35:11
well i got woken up by a phone call from my X T this morning around 930am ...
he wanted to know why i am trying to hurt him .. that he never meant for any of this to happen ... that he wants me to stop with what i am doing so he dont get in to trouble... i cryed adn i told him i was sorry !! WHAT THE H*** was i thinking ??? am i dumb ??
so now i am having second thoughts about all this ...
Posted by underthecs on March 25, 2004, at 13:22:29
In reply to My X T Called Me ..., posted by toomuchpain on March 25, 2004, at 12:47:15
Hi there. Just wanted to say... if your Ex-T didn't do anything wrong, he wouldn't be panicking and scrambling and crossing boundaries calling you to intimidate (bully) you into not following through with your grievance. You have done nothing wrong here, but I am beginning to think that he has. Please, please, please... go into that meeting with a list of what you want to discuss and don't let anyone talk you out of it. You need to do this for YOU. Forget about him. And I would add that manipulative phone call to your list. Please be strong. You could be saving others from going through what you're going through right now. I imagine it's pretty difficult and confusing right now, but follow your gut.
Posted by pegasus on March 25, 2004, at 14:04:43
In reply to My X T Called Me ..., posted by toomuchpain on March 25, 2004, at 12:47:15
That was totally out of line for him. I agree that this could be added to your list of grievances. I know you don't want to hurt him, but he certainly could have handled this in a way that would have hurt you less. And you tried to move on in the ways that were available to you. As far as I can see, this is one of the few things you have available to do that may result in you getting some needed care and some apologies that are certainly owed to you. It's not like you just lept to the grievance board as soon as he dumped you. You really seem to have tried everything else that you could. I hope your grievance also includes your new T who was so unhelpful to you. Isn't she at that same organization also?
Many hugs and encouragement. This sounds so *hard* and IMHO your ex-T is showing is colors by making it even *harder*.
- p
Posted by toomuchpain on March 25, 2004, at 14:13:02
In reply to Re: My X T Called Me ..., posted by pegasus on March 25, 2004, at 14:04:43
well i know this not my fault .. and i so badly want to contiune throughwith this greivence ... but if he calls again i could just be through with this .. the greivence is on my new t too ... the only thing i am hoping for from this is a very good explantion and a Im Sorry fromboth my new and Ex t ... that is all i want .. and another thing is i just dont want them to do this to anyone else ... It has messed my life up and i wouldnt want anyone else to have to do what ia m doing right now
Posted by EmmyS on March 25, 2004, at 14:22:51
In reply to My X T Called Me ..., posted by toomuchpain on March 25, 2004, at 12:47:15
Your behavior didn't get him in hot water. It was HIS behavior that was the problem. I don't think he didn't do anything he'd lose his license over. He may just need to limit his practice to males, or older females until he gains enough experience to handle himself better.
He NEEDS the assistance that this board action will give him. He should have gotten it from his his supervisor. If he had an honest relationship with his supervisor, and with himself, it all could have been settled there. But somehow, it wasn't.
And when he saw your name on his list of new clients at the second agency, he should have stopped dead in his tracks and told the program director not to assign you. He didn't. That was unethical. He needs to either GET HELP, or change careers. It's up to him.
You are helping him! Really truly helping him. He hasn't been able to help himself. You are doing a good thing for him - he just doesn't understand that yet.
And that phone call....it's a violation of everything he was taught in school. I'd report that to the agency asap. He worries me. That behavior is irrational.
(In my not-always-so-humble opinion!)
Emmy
Posted by pinkeye on March 25, 2004, at 14:40:58
In reply to Re: My X T Called Me ... » toomuchpain, posted by EmmyS on March 25, 2004, at 14:22:51
Toomuchpain,
Would you care to explain what happened with your Ex T? I know that you were attracted to him and stopped seeing him in December from your posts and that you were assigned to him again from a different agency.. but what else happened?
Pinkeye.
Posted by Joslynn on March 25, 2004, at 15:07:32
In reply to Re: My X T Called Me ..., posted by pinkeye on March 25, 2004, at 14:40:58
Pink, my recall is that HE dumped HER, but I will let TooMuch speak for herself.
TooMuch, Here is what I would do if I were you:
Take the text of the post you made describing the recent phone call. Put it in an MS Word document or whatever with date, time and what he said.
Then, if he calls again, don't pick up the phone. Do you have an answering machine with an old-fashioned tape? If so, tape the call, type what he says into your document, and bring the tape with you to the hearing. Or, if it's just electronic, type up his exact words.
His phone call was manipulative and unprofessional. But in a weird way, it's good, because it can give the hearing committee info they need. He may not get fired, he may actually become a better therapist because of this.
It's not your job to take care of his feelings and well-being. That was supposed to be his job. He dropped the ball.
Actually, if I were you, I would search for all your posts on here and use it to construct a timeline of the events. I don't mean that you have to post the name of this board and all that, just use your posts as sort of an online journal to help you remember key facts, and cut and paste when necessary.
Just my .02.
Please go thru with the hearing. You can do it, you are brave! And at least it's coming up soon so you don't have to agonize for too long.
Posted by pinkeye on March 25, 2004, at 15:26:04
In reply to Re: My X T Called Me ..., posted by Joslynn on March 25, 2004, at 15:07:32
Thanks Joslynn.. Toomuchpain, why did he dump you? Just for saying that you were attracted to him?
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