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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 3 of 3. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Leo BoStar on January 9, 2004, at 14:52:52
In December I completely burnt out and quit my job. The burnout was real; it's been building for years and finally made it impossible for me to do my job.
I didn't have the nerve to tell my father. I'm a recovering alcoholic, go to AA every day, sober for years. He doesn't believe in the disease model of alcoholism, so he'll call me a liar and say I was fired for being drunk.
Now being treated for depression, including suicide ideation, so my plate is full. What should I do? If I don't tell him I quit, I'm lying by omission; if I tell him I did, he'll accuse me of lying and probably break off all relations with me. I know him. He'll do this.
There are hundreds of stupid mistakes in what I've done, but a burnout is a burnout and I just can't do that job any more. What should I do? Hope to find another job, then let him know? End the deception by letting him know now, but ending our kinship? Act on the suicide ideation? So far none of the medications or therapies have worked - except AA, which keeps me from drinking. What do I do?
Posted by Miss Honeychurch on January 9, 2004, at 15:11:34
In reply to Can't confide in father - or is it just lying and , posted by Leo BoStar on January 9, 2004, at 14:52:52
Can't you find another job and then tell your father you switched jobs? He doesn't need to know you were unemployed for awhile.
In the long run however, you might want to explore your relationship with your father in therapy. I've spent basically 6 months on my Dad and am now beginning to realize that I don't need his approval or anyone else's for that matter, as long as I am happy with myself. Your opinion is the only one that matters.
If you think he would disown you at this point, is it worth having him in your life right now if he is anything BUT supportive?
Posted by Kalamatianos on January 10, 2004, at 0:34:31
In reply to Can't confide in father - or is it just lying and , posted by Leo BoStar on January 9, 2004, at 14:52:52
Invite your Dad out for coffee. Show up with you sponsor. Let your sponsor know what's going on. Do 20 minutes of chit-chat if the topic doesn't come up by itself. Tell your Dad the facts, not some dumb story about the facts. Tell him the facts. Ask for his encouragement toward you getting a better job. Then talk about 2 things your Dad likes to talk about.
You can tell I been there. The first talk I had with my Dad took 4 hours at Denny's. I was floating from all that coffee. I was born on his birthday and we both play cribbage, so we have things to keep the conversations busy.
This is the end of the thread.
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