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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 12 of 12. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by jay on October 12, 2003, at 16:42:10
I *didn't* say ALL transference, and counter-transference was 'bad'. I've recieved many emails from social workers around the world who admit that a 'bit' of transference, and yes counter-transference, is healthy. But, remember, your therapist is not your 'best friend'. If they act like that, the could either be sued or have their liscense removed.
Here is a good article that explains the problems with large-scale transference and counter-transference.
Transference: Are you a biological time machine?
Published in "The Source", June, 2001
By: Michael G. Conner, Psy.D, Clinical, Medical & Family Psychologist
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------Sigmund Freud first identified the psychological process of transference and brought it into what is now modern day psychotherapy. As a therapist he noticed that people had strong feelings and fantasies about him that had no basis in reality. But Freud died before there was such a thing as "rock and roll." Transference has become a more modern concept since Freud. In fact, many people believe transference is actually something that happens in life - and not just psychotherapy.
What is Transference? During transference, people turn into a "biological time machine". A nerve is struck when someone says or does something that reminds you of your past. This creates an "emotional time warp" that transfers your emotional past and your psychological needs into the present. In less poetic terms, a transference reaction means that you are reacting to someone in terms of what you need to see, you are afraid of or what you see when you know very little about the person. This all happens without you knowing why you feel and react the way you do.
What Is Projection? Some people refer to transference as a "projection." In this case you are projecting your own feelings, emotions or motivations into another person without realizing your reaction is really more about you than it is about the other person. In a life filled with transference, your job may be "the family reunion you are avoiding and you are forced to go to each day." In other cases of projection, your girlfriend may remind you of all the irritating things your mother did when you were growing up. Love at first sight is usually a projection – especially if it ends in disaster and you could have seen it coming.
Harmful Patterns. Transference reactions are caused by unmet emotional needs, neglect, seductions and other abuses that transpired when you were a child. In some forms of psychotherapy, a therapist will intentionally create or allow transference to form. When done properly, this helps a therapist to understand and find a connection between the patient’s past and how the patient misreads the present and may react ineffectively. Once you discover a transference pattern, you can chose to respond in terms of what is really happening instead of what happened 20 or 30 years ago. People who don’t recognize the difference between past and present can end up in the same messed–up relationships over and over or with the same problem over and over.
Extreme Transference. In an extreme form of transference, you may conclude that someone is an awful or evil person when in fact that person’s favorite food and television show reminds you of an emotionally abusive mother and a sexually abusive brother you have been trying to forget since childhood. That’s an example of negative transference. A warm, supportive and kind person could remind you of what you are missing and wanting in their life. You might then idealize that person and begin to see him or her as wonderful beyond belief. The idea is that you will react to your therapist based on your experience with another person. This is usually a parent that the patient has an unresolved conflict with. In extreme cases a patient will become overly attached to their therapist or they will enter into and create conflicts without realizing how.
Transference Melt-Downs. Extreme forms of transference can turn into a full-blown obsession if it is not dealt with. Transference "meltdowns" can result in accidents, dangerous choices, nightmares, fantasies, stalking someone, psychotic reactions and sometimes violence. While it does not happen frequently in therapy, it can happen in the the patient's personal life.
How Can You Tell? How do you know you are having a "transference reaction"? It’s not always easy, but you probably are if you know very little about a therapist (or anyone) and you are having a powerful reaction that is not justifiable to a reasonable person. It can be difficult if the patient can rationalize their reactions. Having a strong sexual attraction to your therapist is almost always a transference reaction, unless of course your therapist is actually hitting on you – and they’re not supposed to do that on purpose. Intentionally seducing a vulnerable patient in sick and wrong! In fact that applies to any health-related profession or any employer-employee relationship. Becoming angry at you therapist as if they were a parent is a good sign that there is a transference reaction. Termination of treatment pre-maturely is another sign of transference - unless the therapist is just doing a bad job.
Counter-Transference. Therapists and other health care professionals can also have transference reactions while treating a patient. It’s a two way street. Counter-transference is basically a therapist’s "emotional time warp" around their patient’s transference. In other words, counter-transference is a therapist’s counter- reaction. That’s why some therapists think they are falling in love with their patients. That’s also why older guys become obsessed with younger female employees they barely know.
Ethics And The Law. A therapist, counselor and even a physician could possibly lose their license for seducing or sleeping with a patient they are treating. Trying to seduce an employee on the job may result in a successful lawsuit. You can also sue a licensed mental health professional for sleeping with you if you are their patient. And employers must follow the law. On the other hand, unlicensed therapist can do almost whatever they want and there may be nothing anyone can do about it. It’s hard to sue an employer and win. Unlicensed therapists do not have a "duty" to act within a standard of practice. Employers may not know the law.
Unseen Dangers. Transference can sometimes produce a powerful love or a destructive hatred based on a complete illusion. There can be a loud and painful thud when people act on their transference reactions and the bubble finally bursts. In addition to being embarrassed, it can also backfire. Sometimes people will end up stalking, assaulting or killing someone. Please don’t kill yourself or anyone because of some transference from your childhood. And if you think your therapist, or an employer for that matter, is seducing you, tell your therapist, or contact a licensed therapist to talk about it.
Should I or Shouldn’t I Risk Transference. Transference is really difficult to recognize, deal with and understand, but it is incredibly interesting. I tend to avoid people who are "oozing" with transference potential. Working with transference, or creating transference in therapy can make a therapist look mystical and brilliant. Cult therapies are based in part on generating positive transference to control and manipulate people. I avoid treatment approaches that artificially inflate my ego, would allow me to control anyone and make me feel powerful. But not everyone feels the way I do about transference. Some counselors and therapists love the power and think they can handle it. A therapist must face transference issues and encourage patients to deal with them as much as possible. In some cases a patient is not able to deal with transference issues and will terminate therapy. While it is regrettable and potentially a lost opportunity, it must be supported.
Posted by Medusa on October 12, 2003, at 18:26:41
In reply to Dangers in Transference.., posted by jay on October 12, 2003, at 16:42:10
Posted by crushedout on October 13, 2003, at 10:20:45
In reply to Dangers in Transference.., posted by jay on October 12, 2003, at 16:42:10
jay, i have to tell you, i strongly dislike your tone (your words are so condescending and arrogant, to a group of people who, for the most part, know a lot about this stuff), and what's more, what you've posted here has simply been sloppy, inaccurate, and alarmist.
experiencing transference is not a reason to fire your therapist. it is not dangerous. it is part of therapy. if your therapist tries to sleep with you, then yes, i think we'd all agree there's a problem. but the transference itself is a normal part of therapy. (i'm referring here to your earlier thread.)
i just needed to get all this off my chest. i apologize if i offended anyone.
Posted by pinkeye on October 13, 2003, at 14:47:24
In reply to Dangers in Transference.., posted by jay on October 12, 2003, at 16:42:10
Jay,
Since you are a social worker, why don't you give us some idea on how to over come this transference without telling our therapists about it?
Thanks
PinkEye
Posted by stjames on October 13, 2003, at 16:32:14
In reply to Re: Dangers in Transference..Jay, posted by pinkeye on October 13, 2003, at 14:47:24
transference without telling our therapists about it?
WHY ? why, why why would anyone EVER pay someone to help them and the LIE to them ? Why ?????
Posted by pinkeye on October 13, 2003, at 16:38:27
In reply to Re: Dangers in Transference..Jay, posted by stjames on October 13, 2003, at 16:32:14
Well in my case I am not paying him.. Besides he is kind of my family friend so I am afraid of any humilation.. and it is a long distance thing, so I don't want to risk not being understood clearly.
Even otherwise, I can see why people don't want to tell their therapist.. What good will it do? besides therapists telling us that they have strict borders not to be crossed? We already know it right?
Posted by stjames on October 13, 2003, at 16:44:23
In reply to Re: Dangers in Transference..Jay, posted by pinkeye on October 13, 2003, at 16:38:27
Why do you go to someone to help you and then lie ?
Posted by Adia on October 13, 2003, at 17:08:16
In reply to Re: Dangers in Transference..Jay, posted by stjames on October 13, 2003, at 16:44:23
I wanted to say I agree with you, I can't see what good it can do to keep feelings hidden and suffer by yourself...?
I can't imagine the pain of having to keep all those feelings to myself and see my therapist and be there knowing I am hiding from her or editing or censoring what I share with her.
It is hard but I feel it is sooooo relieving to be able to be totally honest and still find that it is okay to have expressed those feelings...
I feel it is very damaging to keep those feelings to yourself and try to get rid of them or find out what to do without your therapist's help..when he or she should be the one to help you process your feelings in the context of therapy...i understand the fear but it saddens me that people feel they don't have to tell their therapists and work through the feelings on their own..
wishing lots of healing to all,
Adia.> Why do you go to someone to help you and then lie ?
Posted by pinkeye on October 13, 2003, at 17:30:46
In reply to Re: Dangers in Transference..Jay » stjames, posted by Adia on October 13, 2003, at 17:08:16
I tried bringing it up to him several times in a more subtle way.. saying I am feeling very attached, dependant etc, but he never responded to those things. He always ignored those questions in his replies. So I am not sure what to do. Since I don't see him face to face or talk to him, it is hard for me to judge what he is thinking.
Posted by Dr. Bob on October 13, 2003, at 17:55:41
In reply to Re: Dangers in Transference.., posted by crushedout on October 13, 2003, at 10:20:45
> jay, i have to tell you, i strongly dislike your tone (your words are so condescending and arrogant, to a group of people who, for the most part, know a lot about this stuff), and what's more, what you've posted here has simply been sloppy, inaccurate, and alarmist.
>
> i just needed to get all this off my chest. i apologize if i offended anyone.I understand wanting to get something off your chest, but please don't post anything that could lead others to feel accused or put down, thanks.
Bob
Posted by stjames on October 14, 2003, at 13:46:59
In reply to Dangers in Transference.., posted by jay on October 12, 2003, at 16:42:10
But, remember, your therapist is not your 'best friend'. If they act like that, the could either be sued or have their liscense removed.
Huh ? This is way over the top, jay.
Posted by WakingDreamer on October 16, 2003, at 13:21:56
In reply to Dangers in Transference.., posted by jay on October 12, 2003, at 16:42:10
thank you so much jay for this article. i havent had time yet to dig into the previous threads on this, but i find the topic fascinating and am disturbed that so many take the dangers so lightly. im glad youre bringing these themes to the forefront.
> I've recieved many emails from social workers around the world
>youre kind to give us the benefit of your contacts. ive often wondered what my therapists discuss with other therapists, how the others could improve my own therapists' skills and insights, and its really good to know that therapists out there are keeping each other upright.
This is the end of the thread.
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