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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by bookgurl99 on September 16, 2003, at 15:46:23
Hey everyone,
I've been seeing a great therapist for symptoms of obsession, anxiety, and depression for the past three years. When I began seeing her, I was going through a horrid breakup and was very socially phobic.
Time and treatment have made me much stronger. I "have a life" now where I didn't before. Except for stress-induced flare-ups, the anxiety and obsessiveness are doing better.
Every time I've gone into session lately, though, I've melted and decided to put off quitting until the next session. Why? Because I'm having fun, and I really like my therapist as a person.
However, I'm realizing that I have good friends to talk to about the things I now discuss with my therapist -- now that my healing is really well under route. And I can't keep going just so she can be my friend, y'know?
So because I keep melting in her presence, today I called and left a message on her voice mail, cancelling our appointment. I said it's been a good experience, that I've learned and healed a lot in our time together, but I'm ready to move on. I said that if she wants to make one last appointment to discuss my leaving therapy, I will be willing to come in and do that.
After I got off the phone, I found myself overwhelmed with tears. This really surprised me. I feel like this is a good choice, and it's a good thing that I can move on -- I'm even glad that in a way, I'm 'opening space' for someone else who needs her as a therapist to get in and see her.
Why am I crying like this? It is so weird. I had sentimental feelings about therapy that I wasn't even aware of. Strange?
Posted by emmaley on September 16, 2003, at 19:24:36
In reply to decided to leave therapy, posted by bookgurl99 on September 16, 2003, at 15:46:23
You know; I don't find that strange at all. It's always hard to say goodbye, not to mention saying goodbye to someone who has stood by your side for three years.......
I am a little curious, but will respect it if you don't feel like disclosing. :) What do you mean by being "melted"? Have you two discussed termination before this?
I will really encourage you to go in and say goodbye in person. After all, it is not often that we get to say a proper goodbye in real life; I mean, with someone who is capable of seeing you, appreciating you and letting you know all this. I do understand that sometimes we just need to say goodbye whichever way we feel most right for ourselves though.
So brave. Take care.
Posted by Dinah on September 16, 2003, at 19:47:46
In reply to decided to leave therapy, posted by bookgurl99 on September 16, 2003, at 15:46:23
Aack. My ISP is acting up and I see the post I made didn't show up.
It is really quite understandable that you would be feeling some grief over leaving a steady intimate (if professional) relationship of three years. I was rather distressed when my ob/gyn who had seen me through my pregnancy shut down her office. If you didn't feel something for her and for the therapeutic relationship, she probably couldn't have helped you as well as she did.
I agree with Emmaley that you should really try to process that grief with her if you can. It'll be good practice for the goodbyes that seem to come along in life.
But congratulations to you for progressing to the point that you no longer feel you need therapy! I'm glad you're coping so much better. That's cause for a celebration. Or maybe a graduation. :)
Posted by HannahW on September 16, 2003, at 19:59:05
In reply to Re: decided to leave therapy » bookgurl99, posted by Dinah on September 16, 2003, at 19:47:46
It's too bad there isn't a graduation ceremony! I agree with the others that it would do you well to see her one last time to wrap it all up and put a big bow on it. You've given a wonderful gift to yourself! Congratulations!
Posted by fallsfall on September 16, 2003, at 22:18:39
In reply to decided to leave therapy, posted by bookgurl99 on September 16, 2003, at 15:46:23
Did you spend some time talking to her about termination? Some reading I've done makes me think that termination is one of the more important stages in therapy. I have heard that if a plan is made for termination - if you set a date 1 month or 6 months in advance (or whatever works for you), that you have more of a chance to wrap things up and figure out what the termination really means to you.
I know you feel ready to go, and that is really great (I can't imagine!). But it does seem that this is difficult for you, so examining that a little may be a good thing.
I'm so glad you are doing well enough to leave!
This is the end of the thread.
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