![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 4 of 4. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Still Hurting on August 12, 2003, at 12:29:02
Guys, it's been a month since my therapist terminated me as her client. I knew it was going to happen when she'd eventually discover my affections towards her. And it did.
In my pain i went searching for information about transference over the website. I came across this site.
It has provided me with much comfort as I see that not only have I struggled with transference with my therapist, but so have many of you.
So my question is "why".
Why do we become so damn vulnerable to these people?
Why do we lose sleep over them?
Why do we try to find out where they live?
Why do we try to find out what car they drive?
How many children they have?
What places they attend?
It's like this crazy obsession that doesn't want to go away. (or do we really want it to go away?)
What happens to us in that little hour that causes their name to linger in our minds until we see them again the next week?
What goes on in our mind that says,"will you please love me"?
Why do we hate those vacation periods.
We get jealous over their family members and wish that we could be just one of them. Preferable the spouse.
We become like a crack addict to his drug.
We hate the obsession but it seems to serve an unknown purpose. And in fear, we try to hide it so that nobody else will know.
So we stay in fear of rejection, because we don't want our therapist to know how desperate we are of them.
We stay in embarassment because we don't want them to know how completely vulnerable we are to their beckon call.
We are enemies with that phone call that says,"Can i reschedule?
Why do we become so dependent on them?
Why do I go on dates and think I was with her instead?
Why in sexual activities, I wish i was having sex with her instead?
Why on my bad days, I call her just to hear her soft, gentle voice? Even if it is just her voice mail.
Why do I leave her messages on my answering machine for days, hoping that nobody hears me playing them over and over.
Why do my search engines have her name in them?
What did she give me that I became obsessed with her?
Why did I place her so damn important in my life, that now I have hell shaking her out?
I didn't go to therapy for this kind of obsession, so why did it happen? And aparently, it didn't only happen to me but to you guys as well.
What makes us so vulnerable to these professionals, that overnight we change from sensible people to stalkers, gossipers, tresspassers, law breakers, etc.
I've received a letter telling me that if i attempt to contact my ex-therapist again, I will be taken to court. Yet I still try to sneak a call in here or there, just to hear her damn calming, smoothing voice on her answering machine.
Was/Is my emotional pain that great?
Can I have my dignity back????
Can we get our dignity back???
What happened to us women??????????????
Posted by fallsfall on August 12, 2003, at 13:47:14
In reply to Why are we so damn Sprung on these Therapists??, posted by Still Hurting on August 12, 2003, at 12:29:02
I know what you speak of.
There is a technical answer to your question. But I left my therapist less than 2 months ago, and I can't face it yet.
I left her. I think that I was in a painful transference with her for 1 1/2 years. I couldn't do it anymore. I have a new therapist - very different from her. I felt the transference with him, but he was able to deal with it.
Find someone Psychodynamic to help you. This is too hard to do on your own.
Let us know how it goes.
Posted by judy1 on August 13, 2003, at 11:11:52
In reply to Why are we so damn Sprung on these Therapists??, posted by Still Hurting on August 12, 2003, at 12:29:02
I agree with fallsfall that after this amount of time you probably need help in the form of another therapist to help you through this. I promise you that despite some transference with the new therapist, it won't be to the degree of the old one. Isn't there some logical part of your brain that says your old therapist reminds you of your mother? an old friend? an old lover?- someone who hurt you in the past and you transferred their qualities over to your therapist (all healthy and good) so you could deal with some old issues? Some therapists are more adept at dealing with this then others, find one with a lot of experience and get some help. take care, judy
Posted by stebby on August 13, 2003, at 20:41:27
In reply to Why are we so damn Sprung on these Therapists??, posted by Still Hurting on August 12, 2003, at 12:29:02
I still can't believe your therapist did that to you. Your throughts and questions about what drives such an obsession are right on. So much of what you just said rings true for me. I feel for you...Its so painful and yet seems so out of your control. I'm here to talk to you about it shame free...
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Psychology | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.