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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 4 of 4. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by EmilyAnn on July 26, 2002, at 13:48:36
hi all. thank you to those who replied to my post about my hospitalization. I need as much support as I can get right now.
I am really struggling with blame and responsibility and victimization now. In my PHP today, the therapist said that I may be using depression to get something. I really don't think I am...the only thing I can think of is to use it as an excuse to isolate. Everything else does not apply to me...I want to be able to do things, I don't want people to pity me, I don't like attention, I get embarrased about being sick...so I don't know. They tell me I need to learn coping skills, and I get that...I really do...but how can I when this depression is like a cloud over me that I can not (not will not...CAN NOT) get from underneath...First I have them telling me that it's not my fault and that I have an illness, then that I need to get myself out of it after they tell me that you can't just snap out of depression...I'm just confused and frustrated now. I don't want to act like a victime and I know a lot of my problems are self-inflicted...but most are as a result of how I handled my depression, which is my reponsibility...I am just annoyed that I feel I am being blamed for my illness. Please help.
Thank you.
Posted by Mark H. on July 26, 2002, at 20:28:38
In reply to Victimization, posted by EmilyAnn on July 26, 2002, at 13:48:36
Emily Ann,
When I'm depressed, I don't always understand what people have said, and instead of mulling over the implications of seemingly insensitive or contradictory statements, I try to remember to ask for clarification.
For instance, when you see your therapist again, you might say something like this:
"The last time we met, I understood you to say that I might be 'using my depression to get something.' Can you tell me why you made that statement and what you meant by it? I've been concerned that you might be blaming me for my illness. Is my concern justified?"
If she responds to your question with another question (a common and parrot-like technique that requires little thought and no insight on the part of the therapist), then you must persist. Remember that if anyone (including your therapist) asks you a question with which you are uncomfortable, it is always appropriate to respond with "Why do you ask?"
Overworked, tired and/or cynical mental health workers sometimes say things out of frustration and exhaustion that they don't really mean. Leave room for your therapist to retract the implication that she is blaming you for having a chronic illness, and then attempt to reestablish the relationship on better footing.
I realize this is a lot to ask of someone who is clinically depressed; however, as depressed as you are, some part of you must also strive to protect your interests as a patient and health care consumer. You certainly have my permission to print this out and hand it to your therapist if you think it would help.
With kind regards,
Mark H.
Posted by Dinah on July 27, 2002, at 6:32:52
In reply to Re: Victimization, posted by Mark H. on July 26, 2002, at 20:28:38
I am just learning to do that myself and find that it stops a lot of resentment on my part towards my therapist.
Posted by EmilyAnn on July 28, 2002, at 1:16:49
In reply to Re: Victimization, posted by Mark H. on July 26, 2002, at 20:28:38
thank you Mark :)
This is the end of the thread.
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